Shinya was awoken that morning by the buzz of his phone in his distant jeans. For a moment he sighed, taking in the room that he had paid so little attention to the night before. His mind had been on other things. On his back, he could feel Die's chest pressed tightly against him. This was reassuring. Gently he turned round so that he was facing his lover. Now he observed that angular jaw line in detail. Shinya brushed his fingers through the mat that was Die's hair. It occurred to him then, that if anyone were to see them now, with the sheets over them, it was possible they would look like any other couple. Normal.
He drew his face closer to Die's, so that he could feel breath on his cheeks. He let his hand wander over warm skin. There was a mumble and a snort, and Die's eyes opened. As they focused on Shinya's face, he smiled.
"How are you feeling, sleepy head?" Shinya whispered.
"Better, for you being here. I think I drank too much." Die put one hand on his head and winced.
"But you err..." Shinya paused, nervously "You don�t regret anything, do you?" For a second his red lips were pressed white with anxiety.
"Not at all� except next time, I'd like to be sober so I can remember things better."
"Next time?"
"Well yeah� you do want there to be a next time, don't you?" This time it was Die's turn to be anxious.
"Of course." The moment was interrupted, however, by another buzzing noise from Shinya's jeans.
"What the hell was that?" came Die's query, but Shinya was already leaning precariously out of bed, reaching for his jeans, and then rummaging through the pockets to find his phone.
"Ah, it's just Toshiya." Smirked Shinya. "He just texted to know how stuff went."
"And what" Die snuggled up to Shinya "are you going to tell him?"
"Oh, I don't know�" Shinya giggled. "Could tell him anything."
"Well let me help you make the decision to make a positive comment." Die crawled on top of Shinya and kissed him softly. Then he noticed the time. "Shit! I gotta be at work in half an hour! And I left my car outside the club!"
Die rolled out of bed and started to roughly pull on his clothes. Shinya watched in baffled amusement. After a sigh, he decided that maybe he should get dressed too. He pulled on his jeans, and began wandering round the apartment in search for his Hello Kitty T-shirt. After finding it and pulling it over his head, he watched Die chug milk and cereal down as if there were none tomorrow.
"Ah... 'Oo 'ant su'?"
"Sorry what?"
There was a gulp.
"Do you want some?"
"Nah, I'm on a diet. Us working guys can't afford to pile on the pounds." Shinya winked.
"Well in that case, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to love you and leave you. I really have to go� Sorry� Can I see you again?"
"Sure� I-"
"Just write your number on that pad over there� You have mine already, right? You can let yourself out?" with that, Die gave Shinya a milky good bye kiss and scooted out the door.
"Uh... yeah�" feeling slightly miffed, Shinya wrote his number down, and inked Die's onto the back of his hand. The he left the apartment and went home.
*
Shinya got home and took a shower. He wasn't altogether sure what he was feeling. He had shoved the Hello Kitty tee into the wash. He wasn't sure whether he regretted that. What had one day ago just been another cute garment, was now what he wore, or in his case, didn't wear on his first night at Die's.
So now he was washing himself, he would no longer smell of Die; his flesh would no longer hold memories of bright red hair.
What did he mean to Die? He didn't know. When he said a job was a job, how much did Die read into this? In the early days, when Shinya had no money what so ever, he had spent nights doing all sorts of things he would rather not be doing with all sorts of people he would rather not be doing them with. It still happened. Contract demanded that if the management said he had to do it, he had to do it. And if they were paying well enough, it was often that he had to do it. All the club entertainers did. Bad memories played over in Shinya's head until there was a buzz on the intercom. Jumping out the shower, he pulled on jeans and wrapped his hair in a turban and stumbled towards the intercom.
"Yeah, who is it?"
"Only Toshiya, your bestest friend, come to un-burden you of last nights events!" Came the giggling reply.
"Ah� I dunno. I'm kinda confused Totchi�"
"ALL the more reason for me to come up and talk to you. Else the ice cream will go to waste!"
"Ice cream?" Shinya pressed the unlock button "Why didn't you say so?" it was only moments before there was a knock on Shinya's door. He opened it, only to be pounced upon by Toshiya.
"Sooo, How did it go with tall-and-handsome-red-head-san?" Dragging Shinya over to the sofa, he broke out the double choc-chip. Shinya blushed.
"Aha! Not just coffee then? Go get some spoons!" Toshiya shoved the reddening Shinya off the sofa again in the direction of the kitchen. When Shinya came back with two spoons and started tucking in, it was a while before he chose to notice the look Toshiya was giving him.
"What?"
"Well then? What happened?" Shinya went red again and grinned at the frantic questions.
"It was great. He was great. It was� great�"
"Fun then?" Toshiya gave him a wink. "So did you er�"
"Well no. I mean I can still sit down with reasonable comfort, if that's what you're implying. But that didn't mean that we didn't have a really great time. ." Shinya paused. Ambiguity was funny, but Toshiya was bound to drag the details out of him some time. "He gives really great head though!" Toshiya shrieked with laughter, Shinya joining in. There was nothing like girl-talk between the guys.
"You let him blow you on the first date? My, my Shinya!" Toshiya gave him a scrutinising look and Shinya turned red and giggled some more.
Toshiya gasped.
"You went down on him too, didn't you?! Shin, you ho!" The burst out into another fit of laughter "But�?"
"But what?"
"But the problem is?"
"Who said anything about problem?"
"You did! You just ate THAT much ice cream without thinking about the brain-freeze you probably have now! Your mind is on things other than sexy escapades!" Toshiya stuck his tongue out with the manner of the all-knowing best friend.
"Well� Like I said, we really had a great time. And he said he wanted to do it again. But this morning� he just ran off to work, leaving me to write down my number and show myself out. I just thought� I don't know, does he only want me for the night-time? And not for the mornings and the time that we have to spend doing... non-sex coupley stuff?"
"Aww sweets, the way I saw you talking the other night, you get on like a house on fire. Less of the violent burning though, so that can only be good!" Toshiya give his friend a reassuring hug. "Fuck, you're freezing! Go put a shirt on!"
Shinya scampered off and returned in a pink long sleeve with 'Kawaii!' written across it in big white letters.
"Much better!" Shinya was grinning sheepishly, hugging himself into the warmth of cotton clothing. Now it was Shinya's time to probe.
"Well I wasn't so busy talking to Die that I didn't manage to sneak a peek at you and the blond! His hair added like at least three inches to his height!"
"Yeah� the hair's amazing� doncha just wanna ruffle it up for him?"
"What, some more? It can GET more ruffled?" Shinya giggled "Anyway, are you sure that's ALL you want to do to him?" Shinya teased lightly, a grin plastered over his face.
"I don't know� I guess other thoughts were running through my head. I want to move on and away from Kaoru. To something different. And damn, is Kyo different!"
"You're right there. Short/tall, blond/purple, piercings/cheekbones, shy/sexy. Could you have angled that much better?"
"Yeah, but I don't know how interested he is in me. That�s another difference. Kaoru was interested in everyone. Kyo... I mean I don't think he even knew I was a guy until I got changed. Did you see his face when we came out the club? He's probably straight.
"Yeah, so were you, generally speaking - save a few drunk snogs at parties and work favours, at least until Kaoru turned up. Besides he obviously likes you enough to nearly kill that perv who grew a little too fond of your tush!"
"Yeah� I s'pose. I would really like to see him again. Maybe I can introduce him to my way of thinking."
"So what's stopping you?"
"He hasn't called me."
"So why haven't you called him?"
"I don't have his number�" Toshiya looked miserable.
"Well I'll have to sort this one out for you!" Shinya gave him a mischievous grin. "Now out! I have sleep to catch up on. I've eaten your ice cream! Shoo!"
Toshiya was hurried out of the apartment. What the hell was Shinya up to? He shrugged and started on the walk home. Maybe he should call Miki.
*
"Aw man! Last night was great!" Die sighed. Kyo raised a pierced eyebrow. "Shinya is so beautiful. Don't you think?"
"Hmm? Yeah. He was� very pretty. So you had a good time last night?"
"Oh yeah." Die smiled broadly and clapped Kyo on the back, sending the smaller man forward a couple of inches.
"Die! You jogged me! Any equipment I break comes out of my wages, so watch it, okay?"
"Sorry. Except� I think I kinda left a little hurriedly this morning. I was gonna be late, and I was sort of nervous, and so I just left him there. Do you think I gave the wrong impression?"
"Most likely."
"Kyo!"
"Okay fine. I'm sorry. I don't know� how did you leave things?"
"Well� that he'd leave his number. And take mine. And I'd see him again. Was that too vague?"
"I think maybe you should call him. If you don't want him to think it was some one-night stand. Just don't go waiting on him, alright?"
"Okay. Since when did you become know-it-all-san?" Kyo frowned
"Listen, do you want my advice or not?" Kyo was grumpy this morning. He was grumpy most mornings really, having to awake from cosy slumber being the worst part of his day.
"Sure, sure. I'm sorry. So er� What about that Toshiya guy? He was really something! A little tall for me perhaps� not as delicate as Shinya. But you two seemed to be getting on fine� What do you think?"
"Die! I'm straight, okay! You could have told me the entertainers were male!"
"Well not all of them are!"
"Still!"
"Okay, okay. I just thought you wouldn't come out of your apartment at all if you thought you were going to some gay bar."
"True. Listen I don't know. I have his number at home. But I don't want to give off the wrong vibes. I'm not interested in that way."
"Fine. But you stand to gain a friend."
"Hmmm." Kyo thought about this. He did need to get out more. This much was true. But although he was a 'thoroughly engaging character', he didn't feel comfortable around large groups of people. He could tell sly jokes and he could talk about intellectual subjects, but it had to be a one-on-one conversation. So he stayed at home, which only stood to expand his reclusive feelings. When he got back from the lab, maybe he would give Toshiya a call. For now, he worked on in silence. Die giving him a critical sigh, only to continue with his own work.
*
Kyo had barely got in and collapsed onto the sofa when the phone rang. He reached out a hand and picked up the receiver.
"Hello?"
"Kyo!
"Who is this?"
"It's Toshiya! I've been trying to call you for the last quarter of an hour."
"Oh, uh� great. Well I've been at work." He fumbled around in his jeans for the piece of card. Pulling it out, he read it over in his head. Totchi and a string of digits. He was sure he hadn't given his number out. "Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but how did you get my number?"
There was a giggle from the other end of the line.
"Oh Shin-chan got it for me off your friend Die. I hope you don't mind."
"No, not really." Kyo smiled. Toshiya had actually contacted him. It was quite a strange feeling. "So� err� how are you?" He tried his hand at some uncomfortable conversation.
"Oh fine, fine. I heard Shinya and Die were getting on fine." He giggled again. "And yourself?"
"Oh yeah� I little tired, I guess."
"Oh."
"What?"
"Well I was wondering if you wanted to meet up in the city. I have to get myself some new clothes, and we can get a coffee. But I understand if you don't feel up to it�" Toshiya trailed off, wondering whether he was playing the game too far, and how Kyo would react.
"No! Err. Well you know I've been meaning to do some clothes shopping too and err� the caffeine is just what I need."
*
Kyo had been waiting for five minutes, and he already felt like an idiot. He was probably waiting in the wrong place. He had probably written down the wrong time. He probably looked stupid, so Toshiya either didn�t recognise him, or was choosing to ignore him. He smoked a cigarette furiously, cursing the day he ever acquired the habit. He was about to give up and go home, when hands closed over his eyes, entering him into a world of darkness.
"GUESS who?" Came the cheery voice behind him, the smell of Virginia Slims radiating from the breath against his neck.
"Uh, Toshiya?" The hands were removed, and visions of the High Street returned. Along with this came Toshiya's slightly wonky grin.
"How did you guess?"
"Well� I think you and Die are the only people who would recognise me." Kyo replied grumpily. He was right. No one out here knew him, and even his own mother would never recognise him now.
"Awww. Well we better introduce you to the world. And first I want you to meet Fashion Super Store-san." With a cheeky grin Toshiya grabbed Kyo by the hand and dragged him into his favourite clothes store.
Without much of a second thought he skimmed through various racks and pulling out a pile of clothes that would no doubt look stunning on him. There was no effort involved in this process, and Kyo got the feeling that Toshiya did this sort of thing far too much. Though who was he to talk? He probably just didn't do it enough.
Halfway through browsing yet another rack, Toshiya stopped at looked back at Kyo who had been gawking at him for some time now.
"Haven't you found anything to try on yet?"
Kyo remained in silence. Toshiya tutted.
"Listen, what sort of clothes do you like?"
"I uh� I don't know."
"Oh come on!"
"Fine then! I don't know� Shirts?"
"Shirts it is then. Hold these." Toshiya dumped the pile of clothes into Kyo's unresisting arms. He then proceeded to skim through racks once more, selecting this shirt and that shirt, adding to the pile until Kyo could no longer see over the top, and all that was visible over the top was the odd spikes of blazing yellow peroxide.
"Well?"
"Well what?" came the reply from behind the pile.
"Aren't you coming to the changing rooms?"
"I can't SEE the changing rooms!"
"Fine!" Toshiya giggled and took Kyo's arm, leading him there. It was as well that no one could see his face, as Kyo was more than slightly red by now. Once they were in the men's changing rooms, Toshiya separated the clothes into two piles. "So now we try stuff on, and see what works, okay?"
"Okay�" Came the mumbled response. Kyo looked sideways at the pile of clothes. Toshiya stretched and pulled his own jumper over his head. His torso was long and skinny. Toned but not overly muscular. Kyo stopped his train of observation there. Toshiya grabbed a jacket and threw it on, only to look fabulous.
"What do you think?" He smiled coyly.
"It err� really suits you."
"Correct answer! Now aren't you going to try on your stuff?"
"Uh. Yeah, of course." Somewhat uncomfortably, Kyo pulled his own shirt off. In build he was very different to Toshiya. Not only the height difference of at least seven inches, but Kyo was built more solidly. He had the air of a fighter about him, and Toshiya had witnessed that he was quite willing to live up to this. But Kyo was no fighter now and almost immediately he self-consciously turned himself away from Toshiya, buttoning up the shirt in the process. He smoothed the creases and turned to Toshiya, his hand buried deep in that mess he called his hair.
Toshiya beamed.
"Looks great! I so have the best taste!" Kyo looked at the floor, embarrassed.
"Thanks� I� You sure know what you're doing." He realised how that could have sounded and turned away again. "Shopping's� really not my thing." He pulled the shirt off and began to redress himself.
Toshiya shrugged. He didn't really need to be trying this stuff on anyway. He picked out two jumpers and a pair of jeans from his pile.
"Okay, we can go for coffee then. But stick with the charcoal shirt. And the white one. They'll work for you." He gave that cheeky grin once more before getting himself changed.
*
At the caf�, Kyo stirred his coffee as he watched Toshiya empty yet another sugar into his.
"So� I know you don't shop. That's your spare time. What do you do for a living?"
"I work in sciences. Just round the corner, there�s a lab. Nothing exciting mind. I always dreamed of working up where all the important stuff happens. Just me testing chemicals mainly. Die's the delivery boy. But don't tell him I told you." Kyo gave a sly grin before gulping down some of his coffee.
"Delivery boy?"
"Well, they call it Transportation Manager or some such thing. But he worked up from a delivery boy. Probably more exciting than being test-tube boy at any rate. But for you� I always wondered, how does it feel to perform?"
"Well� It's great. Obviously when I was younger, I dreamed I'd be a performer and everyone would admire me, rather than thinking what is the fastest way of getting in my pants. My cousin had a guitar, and I used to try and play, but it was too hard. He suggested something simpler, but my parents didn't have the money for a bass, so I never got around to doing it. So now I'm doing the next best thing I guess." Toshiya smiled, but this time there was less of his perky self reflected in it.
"That's a shame. I'm sure you would have played a mean bass. Would have wrecked your nails though." And Toshiya was grinning madly again.
"And that." he poked his tongue out. Then with the agile flick of someone that's been at it all their lives, he brought a cigarette to his lips and lit up. He offered the packet to Kyo.
"Thanks. Though I'm a bigger JPS fan myself." He leant towards Toshiya for the lighter and inhaled nervously. Together they sighed, slaves to the habit.
"How about that band Mirage? Everyone's crazy about them right now."
"Yeah� Managed by Yoshiki from E aren't they?"
"Uhuh. Got their lucky break� just happened to be in the right place at the right time. I used to know Kisaki."
"You're not serious?"
"Well yeah� At high school I was very much a recluse. We both went to a music club, but that was all we really saw of each other. He lived in Wakayama� Anyhow, he had actual musical talent and wanted to do it seriously. He quit school before the final exam� I contemplated failing the end of High School Exam, just so that I could do something like that� But I thought maybe I had talent elsewhere, and when push came to shove, I took the test and passed it. Looks like he made it though."
"Wow. Did you keep in touch?"
"No� I guess our interests began to differ."
"That's a shame."
"Yeah... I guess it is." By this point, Kyo's face had returned to its habitual pout. Toshiya was left thinking about all the 'could-have-beens" and his mind wandered back to Kaoru. Memories of pinkish purple hair and delicate lips flooded till the point of near drowning. Until now, Toshiya had dammed up Kaoru, pressing his mind into other matters. He sniffed, and there was a drop as a tear fell into his coffee.
"Toshiya?" The pout had shifted to a worried look.
"Shit. I'm sorry." He rubbed at his eye with the back of his hand and sniffed again. "I'm wrecking a nice afternoon."
"What is it?"
"Nothing, just� I said that my boyfriend and I just broke up. I kind of miss the bastard. God, I don't want to. I never wanted to feel so� controlled. But I loved him, I really did. And he� I'm sorry. You don't want to be hearing this."
"It's fine." Kyo pulled a crumpled tissue out of his pocket and held it out to Toshiya. "Er� If you want it?" Toshiya took it gratefully and blew his nose in a distinctly mannish way.
"Thanks." He smiled like a child just recovered from a fit of bawling.
"Anytime." There was a moment of mutual liking. Then-
"Listen Kyo, I hate to leave you, but I have a feeling that I'm most likely going to be no fun for the rest of the day. I think it's best that I go home and catch up on my beauty sleep." He giggled un-convincingly. He didn't want to put Kyo through some mope-o-rama the second time he saw him. "I'm sorry�" he stood up from the table and Kyo mirrored him. He considered hugging the short man, but decided against it. Now was not a moment for flirting. "Bye�" he turned to go, but a hand clutched his arm.
"Hey� If you ever want to talk� I know you have my number." Toshiya looked over his shoulder, touched more than ever due to his emotionally unstable mood. He smiled, squeezed Kyo's hand and walked off, to be engulfed into the crowd of Kyoto's streets.
*
"Hello hello?"
"Miki?"
"Totchi-kun! How are you?"
"Fine... ish. How did you know it was me?" Toshiya was beginning to feel he should give up on guess-who games.
"You're just one of a kind. And only 'ish'?"
"Well yeah�"
"Toshiya, I know you're angling for advice, so what's up? It's just me, Miki."
"Well� Kaoru and I are no longer an item."
"Shit. What happened� he didn't find someone else did he?"
"Well not exactly. I dumped him� Because I caught him with someone else�"
"Again?"
"Yep."
"Bastard! Well he's obviously not good enough for you. You deserve so much better. Which is a shame, cause you guys were gorgeous together."
"I know."
"Well, good on you for taking the first step. He wasn't right for you. And I should know about these things."
Toshiya had known Miki since he first moved to Kyoto. They had both worked at a different club, and became very close very quickly. The next logical step had seemed to take the relationship one step further, but neither of them found that it seemed quite what they wanted. Neither of them felt at home in the relationship, and after a month, they reverted back to best friend status. Then they both started working in the same club as Shinya. The only difference was that Miki got her big break with some hotshot guy who whisked her off to a club on the richer side of the city. Toshiya still swore it was only because she had straight teeth.
"Yeah. I know it was the right thing to do. I mean that was like the fifth time I caught him playing around."
"What a bastard. Hottie bastard at that."
"You know, that�s just what Shin said." Toshiya giggled down the phone. Shinya adored Miki, mainly because she had consented to him trying her underwear on one day, and promised to take him out and get him properly fitted. Toshiya blamed her for Shinya's sudden interest in all things black and lacy. But Miki was a very cheerful and caring person, and everyone got along with her. "Thanks Miki."
"For what?"
"For always knowing what to say."
"Aww shucks. It's what I'm here for."
"So how are things with you?"
"Same old. I love working at Not Kabuki. It's real swanky, but I suppose that is the idea. However, I'm not going to argue with men stuffing yen by the barrel full into my panties."
"So long as that's all they're stuffing in there."
"Who me? Little ol' Miki? I'm nought but an innocent trying to make a living!"
"Then I must be talking to the wrong Miki! The Miki I know really liked it when I-"
"Oh shush Totchi! Not like you're at all an innocent either! As I recall it was you who-"
"Fine then! Point taken! We need not gloat on that subject!"
"What not even-"
"No, not that either!"
"Awww� spoil sport. Fine then. We can talk about whoever it is that is that is preying on your mind."
"I don't want to talk about Kaoru."
"No, not him� Someone new. Who is this you're so hesitant to tell even me about?"
"Well� it's not exactly like that� I met this guy at the club. He's the best friend of Shin's new fella. And he's really nice. A little strange perhaps. Very quiet. And unfortunately, rather straight."
"Shame. Well if anyone can turn him, it'll be you Totch. I'll have to meet the unlucky soul. Put in a good word for you and the likes."
"Yeah� that could be a good idea. I'll host, and you can come, and Shinya can invite Die, and Kyo can come too. It'll be fun!"
"That's more like the Toshimasa we all love! No more moping about any sexy men with purple hair!"
"Yeah!"
"Instead, you're gonna have some fun!"
"Yeah!"
"Oh and I can finally get around to buying Shinya that underwear he wanted. Maybe his boyfriend will appreciate it!"
"Yeah- uh� Yes Miki. I'll call you with the details!"
"Great. See you then!"
"Bye!"
"Bye!"
Toshiya was glad he had Miki, She always said the right thing. She always understood. She always managed to make things seem okay. And she always let Shinya root around through her underwear draw. Practically the perfect friend. Toshiya grinned.
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