"In you get." Shinya nodded and jumped into the back seat.
"Hi Shin.� Miki beamed into the wing mirror and Shinya smiled back.
"Sheesh." Toshiya turned the corner. "I haven�t been down to Spider in ages. My split ends are dreadful. Maybe I should get another blue rinse, what do you think?"
Miki nodded rigorously.
�Definitely. If you ever lose the blue, I don�t think anyone would recognise you. Just don�t get too much chopped off. I think I�m getting a manicure. Maybe a facial too� I feel the need to pamper myself. How about you Shin?"
"I�m treating him." Toshiya giggled. "I think a manicure� pedicure� and a full wax are in order. That is if you�re feeling up to it. We can�t have you turning up for your op looking anything less than beautiful."
"If you�re paying, I�m up for it." he went red. "Gosh that sounded a little dodgy." The three of them burst into suppressed giggles. Toshiya pulled up and parked outside the beauty parlour. They piled out of the car and into the building.
"HIDETO! Did you miss us?" The perky pink-haired beautician posed, one hand on his hip and the other holding scissors in an almost comical fashion.
"Did I miss you hell!" Came the thoroughly nasal reply. "I have other bloody customers you know!" He jerked a thumb at the young man in the chair, who appeared to be most of the way through a hair cut. "You�ll have to wait a second, as you can see, I�m busy at the moment. But I�m nearly done. How are you all doing?�
The trio seated themselves and Miki grinned widely at the question.
"Well I�m pregnant, Shinya�s got his gender reassignment operation on Saturday and Toshiya has split ends. We�re great, Hideto. Yourself?"
"Aging and bitter. How am I ever?" Hideto snorted as he snipped deftly at the customer�s hair. "Right. I think you�re done." He lifted a mirror and held it before the seemingly satisfied man. He paid and left, Hideto sighing with relief the moment that the door closed. "I�ve been dying for a fucking fag for the last hour." He grinned and lit up, sitting backwards on his chair and running a hand through his fluorescent pink hair. "So. What can I do for you young hooligans?"
Toshiya put down his magazine.
"I�m up for a chop. And another rinse?"
"Sure thing." Hideto let the cigarette hang from his mouth and picked up his scissors.
�But Shin can go first? I think he needs the attention, eh Shin?"
Hideto chuckled.
�Well what are you after? You up for a good waxing?� He pulled the strips out from a drawer. �We�ll all go to the back room and have a good natter meanwhile. C�mon."
*
�OWCH!� Shinya squealed.
"Grin and bear it love. You�re one step closer to perfection.� Hideto dropped the used strip into the bin and started applying another, dancing around to the radio slightly as he went. �So� nervous about the operation?�
Shinya chewed his lip as a means of distraction.
�Hell yes. I�ve never been under the knife before. Not even for my tonsils out. The idea kinda creeps me out� else. This is the only way so� I want it. But yeah� I am a little freaked about- OOH!�
Toshiya giggled and Hideto dropped yet another used wax strip into the rubbish.
�Sorry. One step closer. We're nearly done�
"Shut up Hideto, you still have like his entire thighs to do!" Miki snorted from under a facemask.
"You can shut up and all. I'm surprised you can see through the bloody cucumber slices. Do I go round Not Kabuki telling you how to deal with your fucking customers? Now just you lie there and be facialized or contribute something entertaining to the conversation. How's things with the Boss? Sex still good? He's not started telling you he wants you to do it in your socks or anything weird?"
"Nah. He 's still my missionary man. BUT... things are a bit off at the moment. Due to a string of occurrences, I'm now carrying his baby. Which means I'm out of Not Kabuki for good. I'll sort out something when I tell him."
"OW!"
"Sorry." Hideto chuckled. "Sheesh. So you haven't told him? Why not?"
Because I need to figure out what I'm going to do when we split about it. I just need to figure out what I'm going to do� and then I'll tell him." Miki's face suddenly seemed very serious, even through the green facemask and the cucumber.
"Wish I'd bloody well figured that one out." Shinya looked down at his legs, scrutinising the temporarily pink and blotchy skin. "Now I've lost my boyfriend and my job to boot. Gah! What to do?"
"Now listen here." There was the sound of wax ripping from flesh and Shinya cursed again. Hideto continued. "I've been around for a fair bit longer than you guys� I'm coming up to forty soon� its depressing. If there's something I've learned, it's that men are bastards. No offence Toshiya."
"None taken."
"You can manage pretty damn well without them. Haven't I? There was a choice I made in my past� one I didn't want to have to make. But I did, and I couldn't be doing better. Look at me here - I'm still alive, with a thriving business, enjoying myself. I'm quite contented, and I managed it by myself. You don't need anyone in your life to make it good, you can do without and make your own life." Hideto ripped a little more viciously at the wax strip.
"Ah�" Toshiya giggled. "Something tells me you've been burned before. Something you care to share?"
"No it's not something I care to fucking share. There's nothing to it. We had different priorities. He made promises he failed to keep, and I had better things to do with my time and will someone get that crap off the radio?! Change the fucking station already!"
Slightly taken aback, Toshiya flicked the switch, and the radio changed from a familiar E tune to some other same-ish rock track.
"Last strip, Shinya my dear. No regrets." Hideto winked mischievously, pulling the strip off with practised ease.
*
"There you go! Looking your lovely self once more." Hideto held up a mirror and Shinya nodded, pleased with the results. "I know, I know. I am the best. Autographs available at a later time." He stuck his tongue out. "And you can stop picking at your mask, Miki. I'll take it off when it�s good and ready." Miki pouted and put her hands back in her lap. "Toshiya. In the seat. Now."
Toshiya got up and pranced over to the seat indicated, pulling the towel from his hair.
"Oi, watch it! Unless you want blue tint all over your shoulders. Now lean back, and let me do my job." Hideto span the chair round and started to rinse Toshiya's hair. "So who are you beautifying yourself for as of late? Still seeing that Kaoru guy?" He held scissors between his teeth and ran the showerhead through Toshiya's blue-black locks.
"Hell no. He cheated again."
"Ouch! That's gotta bite!"
"Yup." Toshiya relaxed to the regular sound of snipping. "Well� we're friends now. But it's far better this way. I don't have to worry about my life. I get to worry about these two instead. Lord knows they need twenty-four hour surveillance."
"Hey watch it Totchi!" Miki giggled, lifting a cucumber slice from one eye. "Don't think I can't kick your arse. It's lucky for you that I can't be bothered to get up. Anyway, I notice you have mentioned a certain Kyo."
"Shut up Miki!"
"Ooh, what's this I hear?" Hideto chortled through his nose. "Spill or I'll chop the hair." Toshiya let out a mock squeal.
"A guy. But he�s more of a friend. He�s not exactly into guys, you know. But he�s a good friend. I wouldn�t trade that for anything." This confident outburst was far from accepted.
"Yeah right." A confidential look was exchanged between Hideto, Miki and Shinya. "Like I haven�t heard that one before. However, he must be a strong man to resist you Totchi-kun." The snipping continued and Toshiya stared into the mirror in front of him. "Nearly done. Just got to do Miki and I�m off for a fag and a beer." Hideto held up the back mirror and Toshiya nodded.
�You know how I like it, Hideto.� Toshiya giggled mischievously. �Short and sexy� and blue.�
�Oh so that�s what you�re up to now is it? Don�t think I don�t know the fads, just because I�m old!� He put the mirror and scissors down. Toshiya got up, shaking his hair all over the place. As if on cue, Miki came over and sat in the chair, Hideto leaning over and removing the cucumber from her eyes.
�Oh because you�ve never been a victim to fads Hideto!� Toshiya sat down next to Shinya, picking up his magazine and slouching back, almost comically into the seating. �The pink hair is PURELY coincidental.�
�Hey hey, lets not mock the hair!� Hideto ran his fingers through it possessively. �I tell you, given half the chance, I�d be setting fads! And pink will come back in! One day� and I�ll laugh because I, Matsumoto Hideto was the original pink-haired wonder.�
�What ever.� Toshiya sniggered, sharing a knowing smile with Shinya. Hideto, nice as he was, had a tendency to rant at very odd intervals. But he could rant and drink and smoke as much as he pleased, he was still lovable, as if he had some invisible charismatic force.
Miki smiled and grimaced, pulling faces to flex her fresh, cleansed face.
�Mmmm�clean.�
�Both looking beautiful, if I may say so.� Toshiya beamed as his companions blushed. �How any man will be able to resist either of you is beyond me.�
�Toshiya you could sweet talk your way out of Fort Knox if the need occurred.�
�I do my best.� He handed over the money for himself and Shinya.
�Put it on my card, will you?� Miki grinned. �If I�m going to leave, I can afford to treat myself whilst I�m still on a good salary.�
�Damn straight, love. So long as I�m getting paid.� Hideto closed the till. �Now off with the lot of you. I have drinking to do.�
�Oh Hideto, you make us feel so loved!� The trio giggled and left. Hideto sighed absently and lit up a cigarette. Pausing for thought, he searched his memory for the location of his jacket. Whether he�d left it in the apartment upstairs or elsewhere. Then he saw it, bright green and calling him from across the salon, he picked it up, slung it round his shoulders and after locking up, went down to the bar.
*
�Are you sure you�re okay Shin? You've been awfully quiet.�
Shinya sighed and put on a smile.
�Yes Totchi. I�m fine. Thanks for taking me down the Spider� you�ve cheered me up no end.�
�Yes well. You have to be looking your best, even if it is for an operation in which they will be rearranging your genitalia.�
�Really though. It means a lot to me� I know waxing cost a fair bit and all. And that you are still here, even though I�m going to have my operation.� Toshiya laughed in response. �What�s so funny?�
�Oh Shin, sweetie, where else would I be? You�re my best friend. I will always be here to help you out or pluck your eyebrows, which ever need is more pressing at the time.�
Shinya smiled one of his first real smiles of the day, showing his white teeth. Toshiya had always been jealous of those teeth, his own wonky and yellowed by tobacco. So he smiled back in his own wonky, yellowing way.
�Thank you.� Shinya leant forward and pecked Toshiya on the cheek. He smiled again and backed into the apartment block. Toshiya waited until he was sure that Shinya was in okay and went back to his car. The afternoon was drawing on, overcast skies darkening to the stage just before there was a need for headlights. Toshiya turned his on anyway. Things were better when they were brighter and Toshiya felt in need of enlightenment.
He really did wish the best for Shinya. There were only a couple more days to hold out and then the operation would be done. He could hardly believe that Shinya was taking the whole thing so calmly. Shinya would get through this and emerge a strong butterfly of a woman, and take the world by storm - pity the man, woman or child who stood in his way. Toshiya looked forward to that day. For now, he just had to get Shinya through these last few days.
*
The sound of water pounding into the hard enamel of the bath filled the room and Shinya savoured the heat that the steam emitted. Slowly, he stripped to the waist, then removed his skirt. The full-length mirror was slowly steaming up, but Shinya could still observe his form. He disliked what he saw.
His bare chest showed that he had very little breast development. The flesh was tender, and so he knew the hormones were taking some effect, and yet save some slight swelling, he appeared more or less unchanged. Toshiya had always reasoned with him that this probably meant he would have naturally made a flat-chested woman. He prodded at the flesh idly, wishing for a more shapely form.
The tights he was wearing rendered him genderless. The unsightly bulge that was the focal point of his dislike was smoothed into nothingness. This was relaxing, and yet, not what he wanted. It was not merely an absence of male that was all so necessary, but instead, the presence of female. Shinya sniffed tears back heavily and in a fit of irritation, tried to remove the tights, succeeding in ripping them extensively. He threw the remains on the floor. The thump of his own heartbeat filled Shinya's ears, and he could feel himself drowning in its steady pulse and the pummelling of the water filling the bath.
*
Die buzzed on the intercom again.
"Shinya? I just want to talk. Please? I don't think we should stop dead like this. I talked to Toshiya and� Shinya! I can see your light is on! I know you're in! Just answer!"
He waited a while longer. There was no response. It was getting darker and colder by the minute.
"You know what? Fine. But don't say I didn't try." Die turned and got back in his car.
*
This body was not who he was. It wasn't what he looked like. This was the body that had lost him his world.
If he had been born in the right body, none of this would have arisen. He would have fallen in love with someone else, and be living happily away from all of this. But instead it has started wrong and gone on to be wrong. Even the change was causing problems. So right now he was stuck with this... and he would never be perfect. He would always be a flat chested, broad shouldered ugly person with no hips and no love. Shinya retched, groping for the toilet bowl, he fell on his knees and let his stomach convulse, though he found he couldn't vomit. When this physical nausea calmed, he stood up to view himself in the mirror, revving himself up for more self hate.
But now his image was no longer visible. The glass was steamed up and the Shinya usually ever present in the mirror was now distorted and blurred and unrecognisable. This was comforting. Shinya took a bath.
fanfiction|home