| **Erection Connection:** ~*Getting to know the boner*~ dedicated to: Franco Dimarco from Captain At Sea Song: 'I Just Called To Say I Love You' Because deep down, we all wish we could call the boner just to say "i love you" |
| Chapter 1: Getting to know the boner Chapter 2: It's a bonerific world out there! Chapter 3: A Boner's gotta do what a boner's gotta do Chapter 4: The language of the boner |
| CHAPTER 1: Why we like boners. |
| Of the many facinations in this world, the human race has always seemed to have a magical interest in the mystery of the boner. Boners make us feel good, strong, and most of all healthy. This of course applies to both men and women. They come in many shapes and forms and will never cease to amaze us. !!!PRAISE THE BONER!!! |
| Why Men like (their own) Boners: - They feel good - They represent pure masuclinity - They tickle - They have a particular reaction when excited, unlike no other - They're soft - The actual boner is hairless - The boner does not chafe - Pills can fix them when they're broken - They extract juices from the fruit of life - They're free - One size fits all - They can be used as a radar to point out exciting situations - They don't need to be fitted for condoms - They make girls giggle Why Girls like boners: - They're smooth - They make us feel sexy - They make us laugh when times are tough - They bring back memories of picking wild mushrooms in grandma's back yard when we were little girls - They please us - Their sperms are cute - They're fun to poke at - They don't smell bad - They're cute - They can be bought in plastic, rubber or metal - We don't get a mouthful of hair when we go downtown - They're easy to draw on the computer 8===D |
| Chapter 2: It's a bonerific world out there A forever asked question is "What exactly gives a man a boner?" There are 3 specific categories in which we've come up with some easy answers for: Normalties, Oddities, and Stupid Shit. The boner is a beautiful thing, and we must learn to appreciate and enhance the bonifying techniques. |
| Normalties: - Hot girls - Porn (magazines, net, movies) - Handcuffs - Moaning - Asses - Dirty Talk - Cyber sex - Make out scenes - Pagers (set on vibrate) - Lingerie - Victoria's secret catalogs - Cheerleaders - Strippers - Bisexual chicks - When girls orgasm - Masturbating girls - Thongs Oddities: - Girls who lick their own pussy juices - Pie - Songs - Chocolate chip cookies - Men - When girls go in their pockets - Women in uniform - School girls - Girls with fake gold jewlery and bright red lipstick - Buck teeth - Ugly lezbians Stupid Shit - Pizza - Queefs - Shit - Shit eating - Piss - Flashlights - Ceramic mugs - Teachers - Old women - 6-12 year olds - The captain of the highschool football team - Salad tossing - Big toes - Rag - Animal fucking |
| Chapter 3: A Boner's gotta do what a boner's gotta do Suprisingly but true, the boner has many functions. Some of wich are quite unheard of, and some which are disturbing and unpleasant. The following is a list of boner good's, and boner bad's. |
| Boner goods: - Sex - Masturbation - Head - Poking - Pointing - Piercing Boner Bads - Ass fucking - Exposing and waving around in class - Mixing food - Slapping faces with them - Blocking the tv with them - Touching during dinner - Showing grandma - Mutilating - Sticking them in electric sockets - Turning chainsaws off with them - Feeding animals with them |
| Chapter 4: The language of the boner The boner indeed, carries many many terms in the english language, other than that of The Boner. Thanx to many significant hard working minds of children, teenagers and adults alike, the erection is root to hundreds of different words. The following is a list of synonyms to the word boner. |
| Erection Pedro Love Stick Jimmy Woddy Wang Shlong Package Unit P2/ peetoo Flag pole Shag flag horn trumpet broom Sperm Spitter Home grown mushroom Oil Tower Dexter Richard Dick Dickie Mickey Quacker Whistel Peeter Blower Weapon Pistle Man hood bloomer blossom Spud Frank 'n beans Knocker King of the waist Pelvic master penis genital private One eyes monster Home on the range Head of Man Pee Stick Shaft Ron Ronnie Rutabega |
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| If you have any suggestions, or any boner goods, boner bads, boner words, normalties, oddities, stupid shit, or any good boner pictures, email me at [email protected], or icq me: 40611058. Thanx!!! |
| !!!!!!!HAVE A BONER OF A DAY!!!!!!! |