University

First of all, forget the myth that it matters where you go to University. What are you there cos it was the best course for you? No you're there to live the dream, where feeling down or bad is impossible, hopefully due to lack of feeling anywhere!
The only things you may want to consider on choosing a course are the following:

1)How many other people you know are going? The fewer the better. Remember, your faults and your friends go together, discard one and the other is sure to follow. (please remember, you love your friends, and have loads of fun with them, but you want more now and rightly so... Champ!)
2)How cheap is a pint? University prospectus' used to think they'd tapped into the 'student mind' giving information on what the night life was like in the area and what sort of attractions it had. Only now do they realise. You don't wanna leave the fucking campus if the pints at the union bar are the cheapest prices you've ever seen. Passing out's the same wherever you do it and that's all your interested in achieving. Drinking is a natural way of celebrating life, and what better way to do so with your life than drinking yourself into an unconscious stupor. You! Are the finished article my friend!
3)What is the girl/boy ratio on your course? One thing; the girl of your dreams is on YOUR course and the better the ratio, the more of these 'dream girls' you're gonna find. Your history with women up until the point of starting university is irrelevant. If you've never really had a girlfriend cos you can't talk to girls, because you go weird in front of anyone you slightly fancy, it doesn't matter because at uni, no one wants to get to know each boy/girl they may like. They just wanna have relationships and sleep around in between. As everyone believes this, it works. God Bless the mob! God Bless you for continuing it! You invented the word Popular!
So those are the three things to consider when choosing which University to go to. This simple system works, it's common sense after all and a genius like you will probably have already thought of using exactly the same criteria. You're just one step ahead huh?

Here are some comments from students who are at, or have been at university who used the above metheod and are now reaping the benefits, these guys are the best!:

David Chamberlain, an English student at Nottingham: "Yeh... it's fucking wicked! I tell you, the people I've met! I mean before I thought I had friends before but the people I hang with now. We get on far better, no difference of opinion whatsoever! We're able to just go out, get drunk and find a lady to spend some quality time with hehe!"

Susan Schaffer, who studied Socialogy at Glasgow: "Well my friends always told me that Uni would be wicked and I'd be able to do what I want. Well that's what I'm doing! Me and my new friends have a table of all the boys we've snogged and how far we've gone with them. I mean, I wouldn't say I was a tart, and before I came to Uni, I was called Frigid but I'm proud to say that now I'm... well pretty experienced. Although there's still some more experimenting to be done, hahaha!"

James Davies, first year at Liverpool doing Maths: "I used to be a pretty sad kid, who'd be either loud and aggressive, or quiet and sullen. I don't know why I was though. I mean at the time, I felt like I had reason to be, but I can't remember why that was now. I guess it was just a phase y'know like the adolescent shit and that? I'd just sit and question stuff. Now, luckily I realise there's no need for any of that. My life is good enough, who cares if you or the world ain't perfect. Only dreamers have to have everything perfect! Me, now I'm a realist and know it's best just to concentrate on the good stuff, to take my mind off anything that might be bad. I got girls, drink and people I hang out with, Sweet man! Life is so much richer now! There's a soundbite for you to use in the brochure! hehe."

So there you have it, conclusive evidence that University makes so many young people! The smart people at least! The "concerned few" may try and warn you it's hard to setttle in and depress you needlessly with their "suicide statistics" but I reckon half of them are made up, and those that do find difficulties in life are those not at university. Probably can't take missing out on so much fun right! Fun you're gonna have as one of life's winners! So please don't waste time worrying about whether or not you'll fit into this 'Brave new World', or enjoy your course or a number of other irrational thoughts. Your new friends don't care if you fit in, or feel secure, they'll soon be able to tell how you feel better than you can. Not that you'll be thinking enough to feel anything due to an incredibly busy social life!

This advertisement was made, in part, in memory of Susan Schaffer who unfortunately contracted HIV which later developed into AIDS and despite never giving up, sadly passed away earlier this year. She was the country's future and will hopefully inspire others, through her comments, to follow in her footsteps.
Thank You for your Time and Commitment.