| Dawson's Perfect Fuckin' Creek |
| (Enter Dawson, Joey and Pacey; Dawson's Room) |
| DAWSON>> "Hey guys" PACEY>> "What's up, you fopp?" JOEY>> "Yeah, stop enticing us with the american colloquialisms and cut to the chase before we dematerialise" DAWSON>> "Right. So, I just wrote my newest film script for no good reason- PACEY>> "Everyone knows that we twenty-three year old teens have loads of time in which to do crazy things like that-" DAWSON>> "Don't interrupt me! I'm the star, y'know!" PACEY>> "Whatever" DAWSON>> "That's better, anyway, it's called: "The Elderly Young: 2" and I thought you guys would be perfect for the two main roles. OK?" PACEY>> "Something to fill the time until my nest lay I guess" JOEY>> "According to this week's script my character has decided that this would be a good thing" DAWSON>> "Great! Pacey- you're Jim: "the drunk", and Joey- you're Diamond: "the whore". Is that alright?" JOEY>> "Good cogitating, Dawson. (Pacey raises eyes to heaven) By exploring these extremes of their social environment we can point the finger at political fig-" DAWSON>> "So anyway, Pacey, there will be some scenes where you have to act drunk. Are you ok with that, bearing in mind that government regulations state that all television programs must give drinking at our age a bad name? (aside: vote democrat)" PACEY>> "Yeah, I kinda guessed that from the character description (aside: you fucking idiot)" JOEY>> "Suddenly and for no apparant reason I, Joey, have decided to change my mind, and now think that this film is a shit idea, and that I'd much rather screw with Pacey's head. I shall begin by fucking him, even though he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend. I have to do this because I must be seen by the viewers as a free spirit as this is the age of female sexual empowerment according to ratings weekly." PACEY>> "Sweet!" DAWSON>> "What?! This is highly illogic-" JOEY>> "The sad truth of the matter is that both Pacey and I have landed roles in much better films than you, "Varsity Blues" boy. I shall toss my hair in your face as I leave, c'mon Pacey." (Dawson bursts into tears as Joey strides off and Pacey begins to run) |