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| Title: You Said What? Author: Hergerbabe Fandom: Man From Uncle Pairing: Napoleon Solo/Illya Kuryakin Rating: PG Category: first times Notes: An experiment in dialogue only fic, so I don�t know if it works Archive: yes to list archives Disclaimer: Unfortunately these guys don�t belong to me either :( Summary: Napoleon is forced to make a confession For Christine as always and Bronte, thanks for reintroducing me to the fandom You Said What? �Illya, can I have a word?� �Can it not wait? I am rather busy.� �No, not really.� �Oh, very well then.� ��� �Napoleon?� �Yes.� �You wanted to talk?� �Not here, Illya.� �Where then? Your office?� �Um, no.� �Napoleon, are you okay?� �Sure.� �Well, where do you want to talk?� �Let�s go to mine and have some lunch.� �Now? We barely just got in. Are you sure there�s nothing wrong?� �I uh, I just need to tell you something important, okay? Something you should hear from me properly and not from office gossip.� �Very well, Napoleon, shall we go?� �Yes!� @>*~ �Napoleon, stop pacing you are making me dizzy.� �Sorry.� �Just sit down and talk to me. How long have we been partners and friends now?� �I know, Illya! It�s just an extremely personal matter and it�s hard for me.� �Napoleon, sit!� �Sorry, sorry.� �Pasha, what is it?� �Okay, here goes. I love you, Illya.� ��� �Illya?� �Pardon me?� �I�m in love with you� Illya? Illya, stop laughing! This isn�t funny.� �Oh please, this is one of the best jokes I have ever heard.� �I would never joke about something like *this* with *you*.� �Napoleon? Napoleon, wait! Come and sit back down. Don�t look at me like that, what did you expect?� �Not laughter. I think I would have preferred the smack in the face I was half expecting.� �Oh, Pasha, I�m sorry. But really, how could you expect me to take you seriously?� �Because I�m your partner, have I ever lied to you? Hey, don�t look at me like that, you know what I mean.� �Yes, Napoleon, and I also know that you have a different woman every week. Hardly the sign of a man in love.� �Sfdfnce.� �Don�t mumble. What did you say?� �Sorry. I said, self defence.� �Self defence? Being a slut is self defence?� �Hey! I�m not a slut.� �You know perfectly well if you were a female, you would be called a slut. I do not like double standards, Napoleon.� �Fine! I�m a slut.� �Now, how is sleeping around self defence?� ��� �Napoleon, don�t grind your teeth.� �It started after I lost my wife. I wanted to forget and there was no way I was going to let my heart involved again.� �Oh, Pasha.� �It�s okay, Illya. It didn�t work, did it? When I realised I might have feelings for you, I tried to deny it, threw myself into it even more.� �Napoleon?� � �Pasha, it�s all right.� �Is it?� �Yes. Why don�t you carry on?� �Well� once I�d accepted my feelings for you, well I mean, how could I tell you? I didn�t want to lose my partner, my best friend. So I just carried on as normal.� �Oh, Pasha, you should have just told me.� �Well, I have now.� �Yes, indeed. Why now, Napoleon?� �Well, uh�� �Napoleon, do *not* start pacing again. I seem to recall you saying something about office gossip, did you tell someone?� �No! Well� not exactly.� �Not exactly?� �It slipped out.� �Napoleon, I�m shocked! You�ve resisted truth drugs and torture and it just slipped out?!� �Yes.� �How?� � �Napoleon, how?� �When I, uh, when I�m with a woman, I pretend I�m with you� Illya! Stop laughing!� �I am sorry, Napoleon.� �Yeah, sure you are.� �You called out my name, didn�t you?� ��� �Didn�t you?� �Yes.� �Oh my.� �Illya?� �Oh sorry. I was just wishing I could been the one to have heard it.� �I� Illya?� �Yes, Napoleon?� �Are you saying what I think you�re saying?� �Yes, Napoleon.� �But� but you never gave the slightest indication.� �Self defence, Napoleon. I had no interest in having my heart broken, especially by my best friend.� �Oh God. How long, Illya?� �I do not see how it matters.� �How long?� �Five years, Pasha.� �Oh, Illya, I�m so sorry.� �You could� perhaps make it up to me, Pasha.� �Illya?! Illya, what are you� Ooh *Illya*!� the end |
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