| Part 18 Ares roared with uncontrollable laughter, bending over to clutch at his stomach. Joxer glared at him reprovingly, he didn�t think it was funny. But Ares laughter was starting to affect him, and he giggled helplessly. Strife flushed and stopped talking. � I�m sorry Strife, it�s not me,� Joxer managed to gasp. Strife smiled gratefully at him, and eventually they got the sniggering God of War under control. � Where, where are the others?� Ares asked, his lips still twitching. Strife shrugged, � They all got horny.� � Eris and Autolycus?� Strife nodded and then cringed as his eardrums were assaulted by more laughter. � Unc? What�s wrong witcha? Ya�ve barely stopped laughing since this mornin�. Well �cept when ya was pissed a�course.� Ares sobered, his lips pouting in thought. He glanced at Joxer, who raised a questioning eyebrow. Ares pointed at his stomach. � Really?� Joxer asked with a grin. Ares nodded, grinning back. � What?� Strife asked, his gaze flicking back and forth between them. This time it was Ares who raised a questioning eyebrow towards Joxer. Joxer shrugged, � It�s up to you, love. Me, I want to shout it from the tree tops!� That earned him a long, deep kiss, which was broken only by Strife clearing his throat loudly. � Oh, right,� Ares shifted uncomfortably. � I�m prgnt,� he muttered. Joxer elbowed him. Ares pulled a face, � I�m sorry, this is still strange.� � Unc, what?!� Strife shouted in frustration. � I�m pregnant!� Ares raised his voice angrily. The sound of several people choking, made them turn round. Ares started giggling again at four varying expressions of shock, especially when he saw Gabrielle turning blue. It was then that Eris and a very stiff Autolycus rejoined them. � What�s going on?� Eris asked, gaping at her hysterical brother. � Ares, Ares is, oh Gods!� Hercules couldn�t go on. � Ya gonna be an Auntie, mom,� said Strife with glee. Eris stared at him, then started to laugh. Ares stopped laughing and glared at her. � What�s funny?� he demanded. � You let, you let Joxer t-top?� she gasped. Ares and Joxer flushed. � Do you mind? That�s private!� Ares bellowed, � I don�t ask if Autolycus lets you top!� Eris stopped laughing and glared back at her brother. At that point, every one broke down into hysterical laughter, except for Ares and Eris who glared at each other and Autolycus who groaned in embarrassment. � How did you know?� Eris demanded. Strife glanced anxiously at his uncle. � Oh please. Give me some credit!� exclaimed Ares. � It was so obvious.� Strife sighed in relief. He really didn�t want his mom knowing he�d set her up, just as he was starting to make progress with her. After everyone had calmed down, Ares and Eris were persuaded to sit down, and the interrupted lunch became dinner. The sun was setting and they still had to discuss the trial. Ares ate ravenously, much to Joxer�s amusement. The others picked at their food, the accumulation of shocks had been a bit much for them. After they�d eaten, Ares pulled Joxer into his lap, glaring at Gabrielle, who made a disapproving noise. � I take it, Strife has explained why we�re here?� he asked. The group nodded. � Good, you all have different strengths, I want you to all help train Joxer.� � Oh, Unc, we had an idea �bout that!� Strife remembered. � What? You know I can�t interfere,� said Ares with a frown. � Ya can�t use ya powers ta make Joxer a good fighter, but ya can use �em ta access tha ability he�s got inside him.� Ares blinked thoughtfully. � Yes, you�re right. Good thinking,� Ares exclaimed. � What do you mean?� asked Joxer. � We know ya can fight, from Dite�s spell on ya, it�s jus� ya can�t use it. Unc can help wit� that,� Strife explained. � Oh,� Joxer sounded surprised. Ares hugged him tightly, � That�ll be the only way I can help you. I�m not allowed to interfere.� Joxer twisted round, � I know. I understand, it�s okay.� He�d felt the anxiety and regret in Ares� words. Ares sighed and kissed his forehead. � It�s getting too dark to train now,� said Xena. � Why don�t we go back to the inn and get some sleep. We can start at dawn.� Ares nodded, � Yeah, you�re right.� Xena frowned in surprise at his reply. � Can I go home?� Strife asked eagerly. Ares chuckled at him, � Yeah, go on. Be back bright and early. Oh, you can tell Cupid, but no one else, got it?� Strife winked, � Sure, Unc. See ya. Mom.� This time Eris didn�t pull away from his hug and he smiled happily as he disappeared in a flash of sparks. Ares stood and pulled Joxer to his feet, � Let�s go then.� � We�re walking?� Eris whined. � Yes, WE are,� Ares replied firmly. Autolycus groaned quietly and Joxer stared at him for a moment, before whispering in Ares� ear. � Fine. If you and your pet want to go the fast way, be my guest,� he growled. Eris narrowed her eyes, then she grabbed Autolycus� hand and they vanished with a loud explosion. � Why can�t we all do that?� asked Gabrielle. � Because, I don�t want to,� said Ares, he wasn�t about to admit to the little snit, that the thought of transporting himself, let alone all of them, made him feel slightly ill. � Fine, Mom!� Gabrielle snapped sarcastically. � Oh, that is it, Blondie! I�ve had it with you!� Ares stalked towards her menacingly. Xena and Hercules quickly flanked her protectively. � Oh please, like I couldn�t kill you any time I wanted,� he snorted. � Yeah, but you don�t really want to piss of Zeus any more, do you?� said Iolaus calmly. Ares paused. *We still need their help, love* Ares started and turned round to stare at Joxer. *I didn�t know you could do that!* Joxer bit his lip, *Neither did I* Ares and Joxer began to grin at each other at the same time. � What is up with those two?� Gabrielle whined. Joxer sighed. Would she never learn to keep her mouth shut? *Please just try to ignore her* he tried to calm Ares. *I so want to send her to Tartarus!* Ares grumbled. Joxer chuckled, and clasped his hand, pulling him back in the direction of the inn. Hercules and Gabrielle stared after them before hurrying to catch a smirking Xena and chuckling Iolaus. Iolaus was impressed. Ares may not have softened exactly, well, except with Joxer. But Joxer certainly seemed able to, uh, persuade, Ares to be reasonable. Gabrielle was just pissed off. she�d been zapped twice by Ares, elbowed continuously by Xena and insulted by everyone. She was in no mood for helping Joxer, big, fat loser that he was, to marry Ares, Ares of all people! She scowled all the way back to the inn, despite Xena�s efforts at cheering her up. Xena was trying to pretend nothing unusual was happening, despite the fact that her brain was still trying to wrap itself round the fact that Ares was pregnant, and by Joxer! As for Hercules, he just walked, refusing point blank to think of anything but hot, sweaty sex with Iolaus. That was the only thing that could distract him from the day�s events. Ares and Joxer walked along, so completely wrapped up in each other, that they failed to notice the turmoil they�d caused. ----------------------------------------------------------------- At the inn, Eris and Autolycus were already in bed, so they all decided to do the same. In their room, Joxer sat down on the bed and waited. He could feel the growing anxiety in his lover and he knew what was wrong. But he wanted Ares to talk to him. Ares knew what he was doing, and still he hesitated. Eventually, he sighed and sat next to Joxer, pulling the smaller man into his arms. *I�m scared* It was easier to admit mentally, than voicing it aloud. � I know, so am I,� Joxer said quietly. � But. Nobody�s ever loved me before, I�m Joxer the joke, the idiot, the klutz..,� Ares cupped his face, � No, you�re not!� he said fiercely. � You are not a joke, and you�re certainly not an idiot, do you hear me?!� Joxer nodded mutely. � And as for klutz, it�s hardly surprising you couldn�t find your centre in that abomination you used as armour!� Joxer chuckled weakly. � Xena will help you with that. Once you have your balance, the rest will come.� Joxer nodded hesitantly, � So why isn�t this accessing thing, cheating?� he asked curiously. � Because it�s already a part of you. I�m not adding anything, if anything, I�m taking something away. The barriers in your mind.� Joxer nodded in understanding, � Let�s do it.� � Now?� � Might as well, ready for tomorrow,� Joxer said. � Okay,� Ares manoeuvred them so they sat facing each other. He slipped one hand under Joxer�s shirt and placed it palm down on the mark. The other, he placed on Joxer�s head. Joxer winced slightly as the mark began to burn, but he locked eyes with Ares and stayed quiet. Ares delved deep into Joxer�s mind, again amazed at the deep love he found there for himself. He searched deeper, until he found the block in Joxer�s mind, placed there by deep seated insecurity from the numerous beatings, put downs and insults from family and so-called friends, amongst others. Gently and carefully, he removed it. As his eyes came back into focus, he saw Joxer�s roll back in his head and his lover passed out. Ares gripped his shoulder tightly and pulled him forward, back into his arms. He undressed them with a thought and lay back on the bed, pulling Joxer on top of him, and the blanket on top of them both. |