The Call

Danny   7 May 2003

I can't see myself standing in front of the class and share some of my thoughts. Public speaking scares me. I do my sharing better behind a keyboard. I'm probably not alone. That's why I thought this site would be useful.

Anyway, here goes. Jesus called me as early as 1984. Someone brought me to a Protestant church. But, I didn't hear Him. In 1987, He called me again. That was my upper six form days. I felt myself drawn to the school chapel. I studied at a Catholic school. At that time, I was suffering from my first heartbreak. And somehow, I felt peaceful and comforted whenever I went to the chapel. Yup, I cut quite a number of classes and spent the time in the chapel. It's difficult to explain the feeling I felt at the chapel...... it was as if I was being hugged by a parent. I think that's the best description I can give.

I never wondered why I felt that way at all. I just let the memory slip into the back of my mind. Again, I didn't hear Him.

In 1992, I had a near-death experience in a near fatal accident. During those split seconds, I found myself away from Earth. That is a long story by itself. Anyway, this time, I had a direct meeting with Jesus. Maybe it was because I didn't hear Him twice. Anyway, I was told to set up a foundation for the less fortunate. I accepted the mission.

Then, I got a job with an American bank. The overtime they paid me (and I did overtime practically everyday) was quite good. Good enough for me to have dinner at a German restaurant every night. And sometimes, I even ordered wine or liquor. I was so regular that the proprietress even reserved my usual table for me everyday.

I was really enjoying life and I convinced myself that the agreement I made with Jesus never happened. At that time, I didn't even know Jesus. I convinced myself that the near-death experience was just a figment of my imagination. So, I carried on and enjoyed good food and good wine.

In 1995, I started to get ill. And it got worse as time progressed. It got so bad that I was put on valium to help me sleep every night and that drug which makes you feel happy during the daytime. Those few months, my life was just a haze of feelings which were not my own. I went to several doctors but none could help except by prescribing drugs.

During one of the lucid moments in between the two drugs, I cried for help. Eventually, I found the strength to stop relying on them gradually. As my mind started to clear, I remembered my experience. One night, I meditated and was reminded of my mission. I made excuses to extricate myself from it. I said I did not have enough money to start the foundation. He said, start a business. I said I did not have the capital to do that. He said use your own savings. I said, I did not know how to run a business. He said He will teach me. I said I did not know what business to go into. He said to go into the computer business and prove that honesty can exist in the computer field. I said I did not know what to call the company. He said call it Writech. I said I did not have the contacts. He said He will provide.

In 1996, Writech came about. And yes, He kept all His promises. For someone like me who had zero experience in running a company, I was at a loss. So, I would pray for a way or a decision to be revealed to me. When I tried to find suppliers to deal with me. It was very tough. Most of the big distributors turned me again because Writech was too small and was just a startup.

But, I was not alone. Eventually, several reliable distributors agreed to deal with me for unknown reasons. They helped the company grow. Recently, I even met someone who agreed to help in building up that foundation.

One day, I felt lonely. So, I said to Him, I'm doing Your work. But, I feel lonely, could You send me a wife? Well, most of you know what the answer was, right? Don't start praying for a million dollars or sports car, etc. When I made that prayer, I knew that it would only be answered if it was in His will and if it's good for me. Then, I left everything entirely in His hands.

Whenever business was not good and I feel dejected, He would remind me that I do not walk alone. I have seen a shimmering effect during the consecration of the body and blood of Christ. I felt a hand lovingly resting on my shoulder when the statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary was brought into the St Ignatius Church. Many times, I felt comforted by Christ in church.

On the night of baptism, I was filled with mixed feelings. I want to receive the eucharist. But, I am from a family of generations of Buddhists. I promised them I would not convert. To convert would be to betray them and all my ancestors.

As I sat in church that night. I told Him that the yoke I carry is heavy. I told Him that He asks much from me. And I also told Him, let this cup pass from me but, only if it be Your will, not mine.

During the ceremony, I felt His presence very strongly. I felt as if He was hugging me tightly. I felt overwhelmed by His love.

He first called me in 1984. I've been running away from Him for so many years.

Well, that's it for this story. I hope the new RCIA candidates get to read this.