Chapter Thirty

**

I glance away from the holoscreen in front of me, enough to check the time on my watch. I’m still old-fashioned enough to wear one; they’re increasingly rare today. It’s almost time for the hunt to be over, and I should be with Alois to greet his mother when she returns. I tell the program on screen to close, saving my edits of the Archonal Council meeting notes. Time enough to go over the plans--aquaculture, environmental reengineering, global schooling policies, religious groups, economics--with Gwen during the trip back to Earth/2. The transit from Mars to Earth in the Prime Line still takes hours, given the state of the art Draka spacecraft propulsion systems, which we really need to import more to our timeline, and I’ll make a note of--

"Come on!" Alois runs into the room, face animated, hair a-swirl. "They’re almost back, and it was a good hunt! We don’t want to be late! Come on, Tantie-ma!"

"Okay, Tiger. Coming." I grin at him and disconnect from the programs I’ve been working in. "Where’s your jacket?"

"Oh, I don’t know--I don’t need one! I’m a Draka, remember? You’re the one who needs a jacket, even here in the summer!" He’s waiting by the door, eyes bright with excitement.

"Fetch your jacket, or Muhmis’ll fetch me a smack!"

"Hey, she doesn’t hit you! And I don’t need a jacket. Besides, none of the other kids are wearing any!" He pouts, the elfin face growing sullen.

"Alois, we’ve been through this already. The other kids your age have been born and raised in these conditions; you haven’t. Besides, it’s your Mom’s order, not just mine. Please don’t pout--if you do, and throw a hissy fit over this, we will indeed be late. And I’ll be more than happy to tell Muhmis why we were late. How’s that grab ya?"

"But…"

"Alois…"

A deep sigh. "Okay." He runs down the marble-floored hallway, silent as Draka are when they run, and reappears in a few seconds with his jacket, trailing it on the floor behind him. "Let’s go!"

"Not until you put the jacket on."

"Aarrrggghhhh!" The snarl rips from his throat, and I’m instantly aware that this is a Draka boy nearing puberty, and the onset of the drakensis pheromones. His face creases with rage, only momentarily, and then he looks ashamed. Silently he slips the jacket on and follows me down the broad stairway.

Outside, it’s cold. Really cold! I shiver, inside my snowbeast-fur-lined jacket, a birthday present from Gwen, and note without seeming to how Alois suddenly finds that wearing a coat in this temperature and atmosphere really isn’t that great a burden. We have these little battles of will, and sometimes I let him win, but usually I do. That’ll change as he grows older; it did with Alexandra and Ariadne. I miss them, as kids. As adults, I still love them--it’s just different. Funny that I love my owner’s children as much as I love my own. The dichotomy there is astounding…but love is blind sometimes, I guess.

My musings are interrupted when we reach the receiving area. A few Draka, the ones who are up and about after a night of partying hard (even by Draka standards), and the serfs of the hunting party, are waiting for the group to come in from the woods surrounding the Rohm House. Bundled warmly, the serfs and I stand out from the Draka, who lounge about in light jackets and some even in shorts. The Draka children, four or five of them including Alois, are wearing their jackets, though, and I wink at my surrogate son. He disdains to return it, and gets into an impromptu wrestling match with another boy his age.

One Draka lets out a whoop, and the others join in as the hunting party emerges from the woods. They’re riding on shambling mammoth-like creatures, and each hunter has a carcass slung across the back of their mount. I spot Gwen in the lead, and see that she’s carrying not one but two snowbeasts on the back of her behemoth. Their limp, fur-enveloped forms look like super-sized lions, which is basically what they are genengineered to resemble. Alois’ shrill yelping joins the pack of Draka’s cries, and Muhmis’ head turns to meet his eyes.

Her face is blood-spattered but her eyes are bright with victory and hunting lust. She lets out a shrill, hawk-like cry of her own, and Alois answers, in a higher note. Shivers cascade down my spine as I listen to the hunters approach. Hey, who am I kidding? These people are predators, pure and simple. How can I even entertain the idea that somehow I can have an influence on their behavior toward us humans? We’re prey, just like the dead critters slung over the backs of their riding animals. Jeezie petes. Gwen’s leaf green eyes search the small group and find me, waiting in the background.

**

Of Wolf and ManMetallica

Off through the new day’s mist I run/ Out from the new day’s mist I have come

I hunt/ Therefore I am

Harvest the land/ Taking of the fallen lamb

Off through the new day’s mist I run

Out from the new day’s mist I have come

We shift/ Pulsing with the earth

Company we keep/ Roaming the land while you sleep

Shape shift Nose to the wind

Shape shift Feeling I’ve been

Move swift All senses clean

Earth’s gift Back to the meaning of life

Bright is the moon high in starlight/ Chill in the air cold as steel tonight

We shift/ Call of the wild

Fear in your eyes/ It’s later than you realized

I feel a change/ Back to a better day

Hair stands on the back of my neck

In wilderness the preservation of the world

So seek the wolf in thyself

The words of the song run through my head as I look into Muhmis’ eyes. They’re still wide with hunt-lust and excitement; their leaf-green depths hold a peculiar light. She’d be happiest doing this all the rest of her centuries, I think. Hunting. Killing. Her lips in their characteristic half-smile, she rides closer, and the rank smell of the dead beasts hits me. That, and the metallic stink of fresh blood. The handler-serf takes the reins she tosses to him, and bows; the dead snowbeasts are dumped to the ground before the mammoth-like ride is led away.

Gwen pushes one of the dead animals over with her foot, so that its jaws gape wide and bloody. Dulling blue eyes gaze lifeless into the light blue Martian sky; its fur is spattered with blood and gore. The other hunters gather near, each displaying the results of their day to admiring Draka and nervous servus. I wait to be signaled, knowing better than to move precipitously in this crowd of drakensis, high on blood scent and hunting joy. It makes me shiver, thinking what could happen if

"My child, and my saafn…what a wonderful day of hunting! The weather was just right, and these two will make lovely rugs or wall-hangings, don’t you think?" Gwen sweeps Alois up in a bear hug, and he chortles with happiness. I step forward to be closer to her, and force myself to smile. She notices.

"This bothers you, doesn’t it, Erin?"

"Ah, no, Muhmis…it just makes me nervous." I try to grin for real this time, and she reaches out to pull me against her side. I snuggle there, comfortable in her grip, away from the other Draka. "You Draka aren’t controlling your pheromones right now, and you can see the effects…" I nod at some of the servus, who are kneeling nearby, eyes to the ground. They’re shivering. If I wasn’t in Gwen’s presence, I’d be shivering, too.

"Ahai! No, we don’t have to control much when we’re hunting like this…" A deep sigh. "It’s relaxing. Tremendously so. I need that, after dealing with humans for years. Can’t really show my true reactions half the time, or I’d have no staff left at all. Or nearly none," she amends, kissing me on the top of the head.

"Mama, can I have the jaws, and the claws?" Alois wriggles to get down and inspect the snowbeasts. "They’re really cool."

"Cool? More Earth/2 slang? What have I told you about that, youngling?" Gwen growls softly, enough to let him know she’s correcting him but not angry. He blushes, and shrugs. "You’ll have to start sounding like a Draka, before we send you to Academy."

"Yes, Mama. Sorry. I want to get down, though, and look at them. Please?"

Grinning, Gwen lets him down and watches with fond amusement as the boy straddles the dead snowbeast, measuring the long fangs with his hands. His blond hair hangs down onto his face, masking it, but I know the expression there mirrors the one I’ve seen on his mother’s face. He’s a Draka, no doubt about it. He’s growing up, too. Pity. They become harder to know then.

Muhmis cups my chin with one hand, and picks me up with her free arm. Her kiss is long, deep and strong. "Hunting brings out all sorts of things in me, doesn’t it, wench?"

"Mmmph! Yes, it does!" I stroke a piece of her mahogany hair back from her forehead gently. "How about a bath first?"

"How about a ride while we’re in the bath? Sounds fun to me," Gwen murmurs into my ear, then kisses me again, hard. "I can think of quite a few things to do in the bath besides get clean…"

"Of course you can…" I return the kiss. "You’re a Draka."

"Worse than that, pretty pony. I’m a horny Draka." She settles me on her hip and, after giving directions to two young Draka with knives to give Alois the claws and the fangs from the dead beasts, but not to let him help dismember them, she walks me through the garden paths, kissing me, caressing me. By the time we finally get to the bathing facility, I’m a horny human. Good combination.

**

The trip back didn’t seem to take as long as usual, but then again, I napped through most of it. Being a horny human with a horny Draka tends to make naps imperative. Alois chattered on for quite some time about his claw collection; I fell asleep somewhere around there. The landing, of course, brought me back to life, and the welcoming committee from the Household.

Alice was among them; she didn’t look at me. I stared at her for a few long moments, then gave up and hugged Rosta and Yannan, my assistants. They were happy to see me, but I could also tell they were worried about the obvious tension between my soon-to-be-ex-wife and myself. Gwen "cut" Alice quite coldly, refusing the ceremonial kiss from serf to Mistress with a curt shake of her head. Muhmis can be extremely cold when she wants to be; I was glad it wasn’t "aimed" at me. I was also glad when we could get past all the little ceremonies and get back to work as usual.

I go over all this in my mind as I idly flip though a volume of Yolande’s poetry. I enjoy it, even though it’s somewhat sad. Maybe that’s why I enjoy it. It speaks to me, somehow. I should work up the nerve to talk with her about it, when she’s here next. She flits back and forth between PrimeLine, Earth/2 and Earth/3 quite a bit, making it hard to catch her in the right sort of mood. Have to work on that…

Gwen walks into the room, and the door sighs shut after her. I look up from the book of Yolande’s poetry that I’ve been rereading, and smile. It’s good to be home again, I think, looking into her clear leaf-green eyes. The room smells of cedar wood smoke and dinner; I had the staff bring up the meals and keep them in a warming unit. Alois is asleep, tucked in and tuckered out. I read to him, as our little custom is, still, and then had a talk about slang. He’ll be more alert to the words now. That’s important, with school in Archona coming up.

"Ah…dinner smells good. And so do you," Gwen says, perching on the arm of the oversized wing back chair I’m curled up in. She kisses me gently, lingeringly.

"I had them bring dinner up here, and keep it hot for you, Muhmis. I didn’t know how long that meeting you were in this evening would be, and—mmmhh—thought you’d like something to eat when you finished…" I close the book, marking my place.

"Reading more of my mother’s work, hmm? Yes, this volume is my favorite. She wrote this after the Final War. Some of her best work." Muhmis looks the book over and then puts it down on the side table. A log pops in the fireplace, and I jump a little. A strong arm slips around my shoulders. "Jumpy, aren’t you?"

"A little. Sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for, sweetlin’. How are you feeling, by the way? I’ve been so busy socializing that we haven’t had much time to talk about you and Alice. She knows very clearly how I feel about the situation, I might add. Very clearly indeed."

I take Muhmis’ hand and lead her over to the oaken table, where our dinner waits. "Let’s eat dinner first, Muhmis. I’m hungry, and I know you are! You always are. Plus, I want to hear more about your new primo amore. He’s quite nice, as far as guys go, with all respect, of course."

"Rolf? Oh, he’s simply wonderful. I’ve known him for several decades, but we’ve never really connected the way we’ve done this trip. I was pleased, too, that he knew to be gentle with you. That’s a good sign, for me. Here, let me cut the roast before you cut a finger off or something, silly wench." Chuckling, Gwen takes the carving knife from my hand and slices the meat. Its aroma makes my mouth water. I fill our plates with the other servings—corn, some sort of casserole with vegetables and a delicious cheese sauce, fresh bread, mashed potatoes with gravy. The salads I set out by our places, and wait until Gwen sits down before taking my place. She hands me the plate with roast beef on it first, and I can’t help but raise an eyebrow.

"Go ahead…I’m hungry, and don’t want to deprive you. Take all you want, dolce ragazza. Then I’ll consume the rest," Muhmis smiles. She pours a measure of sherry into her glass from a crystal decanter, and then offers me some. I shake my head, and pass the plate of carved meat back.

"I’ll stick with water, if you don’t mind."

"Just water?"

"Well, I had some fruit juice earlier with Alois, but water’s fine for me right now. I’ve had a headache off and on all day, and I think anything alcohol-based would just worsen things. Are you getting serious about Uhmas Rolf, Muhmis?"

"Yes." She eats, neatly but enormously. Soon, she’s passing her plate to me for refills on the other foods, and attacking her salad with gusto.

"Serious as in…"

"Yes." Gwen smiles at me. "Oh, don’t be surprised. I’ve been thinking of marriage for some time now. It’s harder for me, since Alois—senior—and I were so close, and I’m so much older than most Draka now, but I think I’ve found my partners."

"Was that plural?" I almost choke on my water.

She laughs, elfin, at my shock. "Oh, sweet. You’re so…provincial. Ah, gods. No, you’re as cosmopolitan as most humans ever get. You’re just still learning about the Draka, and our customs. Yes, I said ‘partners’, and I mean Rolf and Schalk."

"You’d marry both of them? How do they feel about it?" I busy myself with capturing a piece of lettuce, feeling my heart pound within me. Oy, vey, gevalt, I have enough trouble keeping up with just Gwen, and as her favorite, I can expect even more strenuous evenings with Gwen plus husbands. I don’t know if I can deal with all that, and no Alice

"They feel just fine about it. But…" Muhmis sips from her snifter of brandy, eyeing me. "I know you’re upset. Tell me why."

"I…uh, well…it’s just that…" How do I say this diplomatically? Aw, to hell with diplomacy. "I don’t know if I can keep up with you and two husbands, Muhmis. Physically. You know."

Her hand reaches out for mine, and caresses it. "Darlin’, I don’t expect you to. Remember, they each have their own favorite saafn; you should be concentrating on getting along with them. We’ll be busy enough with each other for awhile that you won’t have too much to worry about. Plus, you know I’m careful with you. I’ve never overstressed you that way, have I?"

"N-n-no…"

"Then don’t worry, pretty. You’ll still be my favorite saafn. But it will also be a big relief for me to have Draka lovers around on a more regular basis. Rolf’s being transferred to Earth/2 as a liaison officer for Alexis, so politically, even, this is a good thing for all of us. It’ll be all right, Erin. I promise."

"Um, okay. It’s just sort of overwhelming. I mean, I thought maybe you liked Rolf as a boyfriend, but nothing as serious as getting married. That’s not something you Draka do lightly…" She looks so happy, I think. I’ve never seen her look so relaxed, or just plain happy. Must be love.

"No, it isn’t. It’s a union of trust, politics, and families. Having taken the reproductive necessities out of the picture, it makes things more on an emotional level for us to have someone to trust at our sides. Or backs, whichever way you want to look at it." She finishes the snifter of brandy and signals me to pour some coffee for her. "But then, you didn’t take marriage lightly, with Alice. Let’s talk about that."

"If we have to…" I close my eyes, and wish I could roll back time. But where would I roll it back to? Andros Island? Would I talk myself and Peter out of applying for a job? Or would I go back further?

"Yes, I think we should. You need to. I want you relatively stable, to work as well as you have been for me." She takes my hand and walks me over to the fireplace, and the soft cushions that wait for us there. "Let’s talk, Erin."

"Has my work been suffering, Muhmis?" A jolt of real alarm pierces my anguish, and I watch her face carefully.

"No. But I don’t want this to have that effect, dolce. And I know you can’t just literally put it out of your mind, as I can. I know it’s important for you to be able to talk about it. Do you wish to talk with a human, instead? Perhaps Shawonda? Would that be more helpful?"

I curl up next to her, feeling the startling warmth from her drakensis body flow into mine. She smells good, I realize, of dinner, and brandy, and, well, of just Gwen. It’s a comforting scent, even though I know in the back of my mind that she’s probably adjusting her pheromones to relax me. I sigh, deeply, and run my hands through my shoulder-length hair. "No, Gwen. I want to talk with you, no one else. Not even Shawonda."

"Do you want me to send you and Alice to a marriage counselor?"

"No. It wouldn’t change what’s been written, and said, and thought. It’s too late for that. She doesn’t want to be with me anymore, and part of me doesn’t blame her. I am different, Gwen, different from any other human being in any universe we know of. She’s not comfortable with that, and I can’t make her be. It was just such a…surprise. I mean, I knew there were times we were distant from each other, especially over the last couple of years, but…" A sob interrupts me.

Gwen puts her arms around me and rocks me, purring softly. Murmuring sweet nothings, words comforting, familiar, shared. After a few minutes, she lets go of me long enough to reach for a box of tissues, and hand one to me. Then she pulls me into her lap, and I tuck my head under her chin, arms around her shoulders. "My poor little pretty girl…" I hear pain in her voice, and look up into her face in surprise. Tears glint in her eyes, a rarity.

"I’m so sorry, Erin… I know how badly you hurt. I wish I could fix it; I’m responsible for your care…" She strokes a finger down my face. "But this is something that took me and you both by surprise. Is there anything I can do?"

"Just put up wid me," I sniffle. Blowing my nose several times helps. "I don’t want this to hurt my work. I’ve tried really hard not to let it. And I’ve tried not to wander around wringing my hands, or looking hang-dog."

"You haven’t been. Of course, Alois and I know something’s wrong, but you’ve masked it very well in public. We know because we know you so well. And of course I’ll ‘put up with you’. You know that. You’ve been a tremendous help to me, mia dolce, and I will never forget how loyal you’ve been. Plus, I have strong feelings for you. You know that, too."

"Yes, I do. Vice versa, too." I rest my head against iron-hard muscles, relishing the contact. "You know that. But besides listening to me, there’s nothing to be done. What’s the procedure for divorcing, under Draka rule?"

"For serfs, it’s pretty simple. Their master or mistress must agree, and usually does, and there’s a public announcement that the two are no longer a couple. Splitting up belongings, investments, that sort of thing is handled by the Serf Courts. Will any of that be a problem for you?"

"No." I shake my head. "We have that house on the South Pacific island you gave us, but I guess we can either arrange to share use of it, or she can have it outright. I don’t care anymore." I shiver. "I feel so alone, Gwen. So alone."

"I know." She kisses me, softly. I link to her with my transducer, and play a song—one of my favorites…

Running up that Hill—Kate Bush

It doesn’t hurt me, but you want to feel how it feels

You want to know—know that it doesn’t hurt me

But you want to hear about the deals I’m making

You… it’s you and me…

And if I only could, I’d make a deal with God

And I’d get him to swap our places

Be running up that road, be running up that hill, be running up that building

If I only could

You don’t want to hurt me but see how deep the bullet lies

Unaware I’m tearing you asunder there is thunder in our hearts

Is there so much hate for the ones we love?

Tell me we both matter, don’t we?

And if I only could, I’d make a deal with God

And I’d get him to swap our places

Be running up that road, be running up that hill, be running up that building

If I only could

You…it’s you and me…

It’s you and me…you won’t be unhappy

Come on baby come on darlin’

Let me steal this moment from you now

Come on, angel, come on, come on, darlin’

Let’s exchange the experience…

And if I only could, I’d make a deal with God

And I’d get him to swap our places

Be running up that road, be running up that hill, be running up that building

With no problems…

If I only could…

We sit for several minutes in silence, and I can hear her heart beating under my ear. "Will there ever be other humans who are awarded unlimited life spans, Gwen?"

"Perhaps. I can’t say for sure. They have to earn it. It was hard to get yours approved, but it does set a precedent."

"Oh." I feel her hands caressing me, becoming more focused as the minutes roll by.

"Muhmis?"

"Hmm?"

"You want?"

Her leaf-green eyes glitter in the soft light from the fireplace. "Yes, I want. I want to please you tonight. Come with me, Erin." She kisses me again, tongue flickering in and out like a stroke of sensual lightning, and takes both my hands in hers. We stand, and she pulls me close. The embrace turns into an erotic dance, as she leads me to the bedroom, disrobing both of us as we move. "Come to me, my saafn, my love…be with me, and don’t feel alone tonight."

**