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| The Pseudo Adventures of the Pseudo Marauders at Pseudo Hogwarts |
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| Day One: 22 Oct 2004 "What's that?" Moony scoffed, pointing at Sirius's "ears". Tinker day loomed ahead - every night was full of no-homework-doing [I'm a hyphenist] in despiration that seniors would drive us all batty at six in the morning and classes would be canceled. It's a tradition for some nutty reason at Hogwarts to dress up in costumes and climb the bloody mountain...which we've all been brainwashed into looking foward to. "Dog ears," he answered, snatching up his pathetic piece of costume. "They're SPARKLY...and CAT ears!" Remus shot. "Are not." "You're a cat...cat cat cat cat cat. We should call you Sparkly," he added. "Ca-a-a-a-a-at," James chimed in. "NO." "What about tape?" Remus suggested. "I got a roll of ductape." James rummaged through his desk drawer and pulled out a roll. "Here." Moony and Prongs spent the next five minutes observing as Padfoot fruitlessly stuck and unstuck ductape from his halloween ears. "Well, it looks a little less sparkly," Remus said. "...If you don't look at it," James added. "...or don't bring it into the light...or turn it to the side..." at which point Moony snagged them and proceeded to beat them against Sirius in hopes of knocking some glitter off...not very successful. "They're rather girlie, Sparkly." Remus handed him back the ears. "Yeah, you look like a girl, Sirius," James commented from the side. Sirius growled. "I hate you." Then, dropping the tragic ears, he pounced at Remus and scooped him into his arms and ran out of the room. Sirius began to run towards then end of the hall, changed his mind, came back, and dropped him at the dorm door. Stupid move. Remus shot inside the door, and with James's help closed it between Sirius and the room and turned the lock. Outside Padfoot scrambled at the door knob tryng to break in, finally giving up and just lay his head on the door. "I hate you." Laughter from inside. "I ha-a-a-a-ate you." More. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." Peals of laughter. "I. HATE. YOU." Giggles. "I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you," Sirius kept up his new mantra. "Better not open the door Moony. He'll kill us once he gets in." "You got that right," Sirius snarled from outside. "'Specially you Prongs." "One...Two...Three..." came the count from within. Sirius charged in, paused, looked around, and noticed James was wearing a monkey mask. click. Tackle time. James removed the mask and few seconds before Sirius pretened to tackle him, but only really bumped him back into a bed. "You aren't going to attack me?" Remus asked, probably not guenuinely puzzled, probably expecting it anyway. Sirius slugged him in the shoulder. Punched right back. Then punched James. Same return. Slug fest all around! Amidst which Moony and Prongs teamed up and pinned Padfoot to the floor and began to mercilessly tickle him, Remus sitting atop Sirius's stomache. Where was Peter during all this? We dunno...hopefully not getting chased by Mrs. Norris again...thick blighter... Sirius continued to squirm on the floor, yelling all sorts of words that don't quite fit into the dictionary...because...maybe...well, they don't exist. "Eeeyahhh! Nahhhhhht!" Trying to turn over so he could sit up and knock Moony off, but not being very successful at it. After a while, Sirius managed to squirm his way out from James's grip on his arms...legs...whatever...couldn't think...and Remus's butt. "Your turn!" Sirius gasped, turning to Moony and sitting on his stomache, allowing just enough not-squished innards to breath. And with all the agility and swiftness of a seeker, James turned and proceeded to attack Remus's feet with tickle-power as Sirius pinned down his limbs and dangled rather sticky Prongsy-socks in his downed-friend's face, who kept hitting his head on the hard floor because he was slipping of the beanbag he was thrown into. And in the middle of this Moony's elbow collided with Padfoot's head, who was heard to declare to an inquirey of alright-ness, "I didn't need my forehead anyway!" At risk of choking-coughing death, the other two eventually let Remus up, and with a wink, Remus and Sirius lept at James, who had jumped to his feet himself. Sirius randomly began to force James out of the room with his shoulder. "What are you doing? Nutter." "I hate yo-o-o-o-o-ou," answered Sirius shoving James out of the door frame thinking he was followed by Remus, who took his cue from earlier and locked them both out of their room. They proceeded to cause a ruckus in the corrodor until a hallmate stuck his head out of the door. "Hey, it's past quiet hours. Could you shut up. Or go away." "Well, we ARE locked out," Prongs retorted. "Why don't you get a master key." "Nah - he'll let us back in soon enough." "...cuz Remus is a good boy," Sirius added. After much fake turning of the doorknob, Moony let them in, and closing it, he and Sirius knocked James to the floor, who, lacking the tickle-gene, was mercilessly poked in the forehead, unable to move. "Poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke," Sirius and Remus muttered, getting bored, but not bored enough to stop tormenting their friend. Then Padfoot reached for a Sirius's-much-much-stinkier-than-James's-sock-as-well-as-still-sweaty sock to dangle in from of Prongs's nose, to which Prongs began to squirm even more. Catching on, Remus snagged an old, not-so-tasty-anymore butterbeer from the cooler. "No!" James shouted between attempted bites at Sirius's hand. "I am NOT drinking that." To which Remus poured some into James's open mouth, which then was shot straight upwards into Remus's face. The next gulp sloshed into his nose and eye and resulted in James having a coughing and choking bout. To which we laughed, with some "Are you okay"s and "ewwww"s. "What fun," Remus said once James had recovered, getting ready to leave and write an essay. And, looking over to Sirius, "You really should fix those ears, Sparkly." "I hate you." |
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| 1) as we don't, but wish dearly that we do, have magic...slightly less exciting (these are one the less true stories of stupid things we do) 2) the Marauders have arrived at Hollins University: Sssargon, Fydel, Sicko, and M-kay (Sirius, Prongs, Wormtail, & Moony, respectively) 3) really Hollins University...you stupid bugger - not too different from Hogwarts...but, alas...without magic |