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Chapter 31 1 week later ~On The Airplane~ �So, Cassy is picking us up, right?� �Yeah. She said she�s going to be right there waiting for us when we get off and she�s going to take us to my parent�s house.� �Ok. Just making sure.� Lance settled into his seat, but only for a moment or two. He noticed Ashley kept fidgeting beside him. She would seem to relax, but then she�d move again to look out the window, or pick something up and look over it, like a magazine. But then she�d put it back down and take a look around the plane. Then she would settle back into her seat for about a millisecond. �Ash, babe, you alright?� �Yeah. I�m fine. Why wouldn�t anything be fine? Are you fine? Do you not want to go tell my parents about the baby, �cause if you don�t I�d be more than happy to just go right back to Orlando. They wouldn�t even have to know we were ever there. Is that what you want?� She said it all in one long breath. �Ashley, we�re going to tell your parents. There is no way you�re getting out of it. It�s better to tell them now, than to wait until the baby�s actually here for them to find out. They�ll be fine with it. I promise.� Lance put a reassuring arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. �I hope.� He thought to himself as Ashley settled into his arms. �Yeah, I guess you�re right. But just incase, I would still feel better if we rented a hotel room.� �Whatever makes you happy, sweetheart� �Thank you, Baby.� Ashley said, kissing his lips and snuggling into his embrace once again, preparing for the fiasco she was soon to endure. ~2 hours later~ Getting off the plane and walking down the corridor, Ashley held onto Lance�s hand tight. Looking around for Cassy, Ashley hoped she�d find her soon. Ashley immediately let go of Lance�s hand and bolted towards her as soon as her eyes landed on her. �Wow! Missed you too, Ash.� Cassy laughed as she was almost knocked over by the hug Ashley gave her. �You shouldn�t have moved away. I�m used to always seeing you. Now we live so far apart.� �I know. But we still see each other. Like now. You came home to see everybody.� �Yeah. But only �cause this numb nuts here knocked me up.� Ashley said, pointing to Lance behind her. �Hey! I take offense to that! They�re obviously not numb if they worked so well TO knock you up, as you so nicely put it.� �Ok children! Can we please go so Mr. Popstar here doesn�t draw attention to us? Ok, thank you.� Cassy said as she turned on her heel to walk towards baggage claim so they could get out of there as fast as humanely possible. �Sorry.� Ashley and Lance laughed like little kids after getting yelled at by �mommy� for throwing food at each other and then starting to do it again behind her back. �So little miss dress-up. Why do we look so nice?� �I�m going out and I didn�t think I�d have enough time to get ready after picking you guys up and dropping you off at your parents� house.� �And just who are we going out with tonight, may I ask?� �Ok Miss nosey, I�m going out with Jerry if you must know.� �Oh yeah! So how is that going?� �Good. Really good.� She couldn�t keep the smile from coming to her lips. �Things are just like we never split up.� �Is that a good or bad thing?� Lance asked sarcastically before getting hit on the arm. �Ow! Ashley, that hurt!� He whined like a five year old kid while nursing his shoulder. �It�s a very good thing. I proved to everyone I could move past�what happened the past few months.� She stammered. As much as she was over him, she still could not, and would not, bring herself to say JC�s name. �I�m proud of you, Cass.� �Thanks, Ashley. It means a lot.� More than she�d ever know. It felt great to have the support of your best friend in your decisions. About a half hour had passed and Cassy was on her way home to touch up her make up and smooth out her dress to wait for Jerry�s arrival to pick her up. He was taking her to Rue Franklin. The most expensive French restaurant around the Buffalo area. And needless to say, she was nervous. Men only took women to that place for two reasons. One; to impress her and get her into bed, and two; to propose. But it was too early for that, wasn�t it? They had dated for a long time and things were back exactly the way they had been before the break up. And all he had to do to get her into bed was be himself, the man she knew and loved. But did she really want to be with him forever? �Calm down, Cassy. You don�t know that that is why he�s taking you there. We�ll just see where tonight leads us to.� She told herself as she made her way down the street. ~*~ Knocking on the front door of her childhood home, filled with pleasant memories of growing up, Ashley couldn�t help but to shake as she heard the movement inside. She was afraid that as soon and her parents found out, the pleasant house would be turned into a vortex of terror. One filled with yelling and screaming of words like �How could you?� �What were you thinking?� �Were you thinking at all?� And that scared her more than anything. She never wanted to let down her parents. And she knew, they would surely be disappointed in her for, not just being pregnant, but for not waiting to have sex until after she was married. They were firm believers in only having sex after marriage, no premarital sex. It would only lead to problems, which Ashley now knew first hand. Judi, Ashley�s Mom, answered the door. �Ashley! Welcome home, Sweetie.� Judi said happily, wrapping her arms around her baby girl. �Thanks, Mom. It feels good to be home.� �Well, don�t just stand out here in the cold. Come on inside. We were just about to watch a movie.� Ashley and Lance took off their coats and shoes before making their way into the living room to sit down with Ashley�s parents, and Lance�s parent-in-laws to be. Ashley immediately went up to her Dad and gave him a big hug. �Hi, Daddy. I missed you.� �Missed you too, Sweetheart. So, sit down. You must be tired after your flight.� �Yeah. I�m a little worn out.� �I see you�ve put some meat on your bones since we�ve seen you last. Not much, but you look healthier.� He said, patting her tummy. �Uh, yeah. Thanks, Daddy. I guess.� �Are you two hungry? We just got done with dinner. We would have waited for you, but we didn�t know what time your flight was due in. And we were hungry.� Judi said sweetly going into the kitchen with Ashley, leaving Lance alone with her Father. Leaning forward in his chair, George put his elbows on his knees, Staring at Lance calmly. �Lance, I know you hurt my daughter, and badly. But she�s decided to forgive you and give you a second chance, so I have no choice but to do the same. But I swear, right here before you and God, if you do anything, anything at all, to hurt my little girl again, I will hunt you down and chop your balls off.� Looking into George�s eyes, Lance felt the seriousness of what he just said and tried to remain calm, although his insides were screaming in horror. �I know I screwed up sir, but I swear, this time, things are going to be right with us. I could never hurt her like that again.� �Let�s hope so. I know you are a great guy, and my Tilly seems to love you. So you two have my blessing. Just please, for her sake, and your own, don�t prove me wrong.� �I won�t Sir.� After eating some dinner, Ashley felt a little better, but as the time to tell her parents exactly why they had come to visit came closer, Ashley felt more and more like puking everywhere. While the four of them sat around the living room watching Taxi, Ashley�s nerves reached an all time high peak. She couldn�t even enjoy the movie and the company of her parents. Out of the corner of her eye, Judi saw Ashley twisting her hands, and quite visibly shaking. Something she always did when she was nervous about something. �Ashley honey, are you alright? You look like there�s something bothering you. Something you want to get out.� Looking at her mother and father, Ashley smiled as best she could. �No. I�m fine, don�t worry.� �Alright.� Judi obviously didn�t buy it, but after twenty-one years with her daughter, she knew better than to make her tell her what was wrong. She would eventually come around and tell them what was going on inside that head of hers. Ashley�s conscience got the better of her. She never could lie to her parents. She was a horrible liar for one, and she just felt horrible about it, period. She and Lance had come here to tell them what was going on, and that�s just was she was going to do. Taking a hold on Lance�s hand, Ashley turned towards her parents. �Actually, there is something I, we need to tell you guys.� Pressing mute on the TV remote, George and Judi looked over at their daughter and her boyfriend. �Oh? What�s that?� Looking at Lance for a brief second to get a boost of courage. Looking back at her Mom and Dad, Ashley braced herself. �Um, well, we have some good news for you. Well, we think it�s good news. You guys might have a different reaction to it though.� �Ashley, sweetie, you�re babbling. Just tell us, what�s going on?� Taking a deep breath, Ashley looked at them both. �Lance and I are�well, on Christmas, Lance asked me to marry him. And I accepted.� Ashley and Lance were both quiet as they awaited the response that was soon to come. Looking at each other, both had thoughts running through their minds on what they thought of this. Could they accept the fact that their baby had grown up and was getting married? To a man who had cheated on her? �I�m happy for you, baby.� Judi stood up and wrapped her arms around Ashley. �Congratulations.� �Thank you, Mom.� Letting go of her mother, Ashley looked to her dad for his approval. �Daddy? Aren�t you going to say anything?� �What can I say?� He stood up and walked over to the happy group. �My baby�s all grown up. And I�m happy for you both.� Lance and Ashley both relaxed visibly when George smiled a big toothy grin and hugged them both. �Just because you�re getting married, doesn�t mean what I said to you earlier changes.� He said to Lance. �I know that, Sir. And don�t worry, it won�t ever happen.� �Good.� �But uh�there�s one more thing we need to tell you. And I know for a fact you�re not going to be happy about this.� �Ashley, what are you talking about?� Looking at Lance, Ashley was having second thoughts about telling them. But she had already started it. It was up to her to finish it. After Lance mouthed �It�s ok� to her, she closed her eyes for a brief moment. �I�m�.we�re having a baby. I�m three months pregnant.� CHAPTER 32 There was an uncomfortable silence that filled the room and Ashley began to tear up, thinking the worst. �Please, say something. I need to know what you think of all this. I need your approval of this situation.� �Our approval? You want our approval? What good is our approval if you already went and got yourself pregnant? After this little shit screwed you over and went and cheated on you with the first bimbo that came to pass, you do this?� �Daddy!� �I�m not through!� George pointed at his daughter, then looked back at Lance. �I thought you respected us enough to not take our daughter�s virginity until after the wedding! Oh wait, is this why there is a wedding? Just because you got her in trouble?� �Daddy please! We loved each other then and we love each other now. Getting married was bound to happen with or without this child inside of me. Things happen that you can�t do anything about!� �Can�t do anything about? You could have stopped this. You didn�t have to give into his advances just because he wanted and expected something from you.� �You know I would never do that! I wanted to do it just as badly as he did!� As soon as the words left her mouth, Ashley immediately regretted them. Her hands flung to her mouth and she turned around in shame. �You hear that, Judi? Your daughters a little slut!� �Daddy!� Ashley could not believe her own father, her flesh and blood, would say such things about her. �Mom, could you help me here, please?� Ashley pleaded to her mother who just sat on the chair, stunned. �Ashley, this is out of my hands. What happens to you is up to God now. But you�re my daughter, and I will love you and my grandchild no matter what.� Judi turned away from Lance and Ashley, who was in his arms and he was rubbing her back to get her to calm down some. George charged towards Lance who was holding his daughter. �You get your hands off my little girl! You�ve gotten her into enough trouble with you touches and advances!� George couldn�t even see straight he was so angry. He didn�t even know how he could bring himself to speak about Lance and his baby girl �touching�. Lance let go of Ashley and was now face to face with George, the man he feared a great deal. But father-in-law to be or not, he couldn�t let him speak this way about the woman he loved, his own daughter. �Sir, with all due respect, I know you�re angry right now, and I know we screwed up. But we are grown enough to make our own decisions. I am twenty-five years old, and your daughter, the woman you just called a slut, is twenty-one. We don�t need to live our relationship the way you would. There�s nothing wrong in showing someone you love them.� �Young man, you have no right to speak to me this way in my own home! Now, you�re going to leave right now, and you�re not coming anywhere near my daughter ever again.� �Daddy! You cannot do that! I love him and he loves me. We�re having a baby and we are getting married. With or without your approval.� Ashley went to the front door and got ready to leave with her fianc�. �Ashley Anne, you sit down right now! You are not going anywhere.� �You kick him out, you kick me out.� �I�m not�� �Yes! You are. You think you can control my life and everything that happens to me, but you can�t! I�m not a little girl anymore, Daddy. I am going to marry Lance when we finally set a date, and if you can�t be there for me and my baby, then you�re not my father!� Ashley was so stressed and so angry with her father, she became light-headed. Grabbing her head, Ashley grabbed towards the closest thing to her, her mother. �Mom�� The next thing anyone knew, Ashley was laying on the floor, unconscious. �Oh my God! Ashley, sweetie, can you hear me?� Judi asked frantically, gently patting her daughter�s face to get her to wake up. �You see what you�ve done, George?� Judi said, pointing fingers at her husband. How could he be so cruel? This was not the man she knew and loved. �Me? None of this would have happened if this guy here didn�t seduce my little girl!� �Sir, I am trying to be respectful because you�re Ashley�s father and she loves you, but do not even begin to blame this on me! You are the one who got her so upset about the fact that you wouldn�t be there for your grandchild she passed out. Whatever your issues are, you need to work them out, and soon. Ashley and I are getting married and she will have this baby. You can respect that, or you can just back off and butt out of our business.� Kneeling next to Ashley, Lance scooped her up into his arms. �Now, I�m going to take her to a hotel so she can relax and not be so stressed out about all of this.� �You mean so you can�� �George! Shut it and let him go!� Judi snapped at her husband. He was reacting way too harshly to this news and they all just needed to cool down. Then maybe they could talk like normal human beings. �We�ll talk to you when George has had time to accept all this and think about everything. Now good night.� �Good night Mrs. Vibbert, Mr. Vibbert.� Although Lance was not happy with the guy at the moment, at all, it still was not in him to be so disrespectful as to not say good bye. He grabbed his and Ashley�s coats and carried her limp body out to the driveway where he realized, they had no car. �Shit.� Just as though she had read his mind, Judi ran out and handed him a set of keys. �Take the Malibu. I know it�s not the type of car you�re use to, but it�s better than waiting for a cab.� �Thanks Mrs. Vibbert.� �And don�t worry about George. Yes, he overreacted, horribly, but he�ll come around and apologize. He just needs some time.� �I know. We�ll see you soon.� Judi helped Lance get Ashley into the car before going back inside to warm up. ~*~ �Oh my god, you are not watching this!� �What? It�s a good movie. I don�t care what everyone says, Leo is hot, and I hate Rose for not letting him on the damn door with her.� �Cassy, you are a hopeless romantic.� �I know.� Cassy smiled at Ashley. Turning down the volume on the TV so they could talk, Cassy turn towards Ashley. �So, what happened? How�d it go?� Ashley let out a noise that could only be described as a strangled groan as she plopped down on the couch next to her. �That bad huh?� �You have no idea.� she mumbled, running her hands over her face. �They were fine about the engagement but when they found out about the baby, my dad was a beast.� �What�d he do?� �We all started screaming at each other and I got so upset I blacked out. That�s the short version. The nice version.� �Wow.� Cassy wasn�t expecting that. �You really passed out?� �Don�t act so surprised. You know my dad�s a monster. And Lance finally saw it last night. � �No, honestly I�m not surprised. I am surprised however, that Lance�s dick is still attached.� Then she turned to Ashley with a serious look on her face. �It is still attached, isn�t it?� �Cassy!� Ashley slapped Cassy on the arm playfully and they both laughed. �Yeah, it�s still attached. But I was waiting for my dad to run into the kitchen and come out with a meat cleaver. I mean, the fire in his eyes were enough to make the devil himself piss his pants.� �I believe it.� �So, enough about my drama that is life. How did last night go?� Ashley nudged Cassy�s arm. �Oh, last night.� Ashley caught the smile and blush that seemed to make it to her face every time she was in love. �Oh you so did it!� �Ashley!� �What?� She asked innocently. It was just a statement. �Are we back in like, seventh grade again?� �Shut up. But seriously, what happened?� She was dying here. Cassy was obviously hiding something here. She definitely seemed to be stalling. Then she noticed how she kept fidgeting, and hiding her left hand. �Cassy�. Is there something you�d like to tell me?� �Um, actually, yes. There is.� Ashley couldn�t take it anymore. She reached out and shook Cassy by the shoulders. �Come on! Tell me! I�m dying here.� �I�m getting married.� Ashley�s eyes widened in surprise. She knew that was what Cassy was going to say, but it was said, out loud. They were both getting married. Even though a part of Ashley felt like it was to the wrong man, she couldn�t help but to be excited for her friend. �I know it�s kind of sudden, but I told you. It�s like the past few years haven�t happened. Like we never broke up. And I love him so much, and he loves me. There�s no reason we shouldn�t be together.� �I�m so happy for you, Cass.� Ashley leaned forward and hugged Cassy tightly. �Thanks Ashley. I�m glad you don�t think it�s too fast.� �I�m not going to be the only one. Your mom and dad are going to be ecstatic.� �I know. Daddy never really did like�Jerry was always his favorite. He was always asking me when we were getting married.� Cassy laughed uneasily. How come even though she was incredibly happy with Jerry and the fact that her life was moving along so smoothly, why did JC keep popping into her head and somehow make his way into her conversations? Shrugging it off, Cassy and Ashley decided to go for a walk, finishing off their day with shopping sprees, gossip, and wedding plans. CHAPTER 33 ~6 Months Later~ It is August of 2005, and Nsync still hadn�t made a come back. Of course every time one of them was interviewed, they would always say, �Oh yeah, we have the studio booked for so and so days of so and so months.� �Of course there�s going to be another Nsync album, you haven�t seen the last of us.� There were endless excuses for those five guys. Actually, four. Justin is the only one who ever actually spoke the truth of the album. Rudely, short and to the point, but still, it was the truth. However badly the die hard fans took it. �There�s always the possibility, but honestly, I don�t see a new album happening anytime in the near future, if ever.� But the guys were still doing there own things. They hadn�t completely dropped off the face of the earth. Lance and Justin were doing movies, there were also occasional side singing projects that Justin did. Chris was still trying to get his band�s shit together so they could finally be free to tour and do their own thing. He felt like it was complete and total bullshit that Justin was given the chance for his album, and did unbelievably well. JC, he was given a hard time. And now Chris? He�d be lucky if his band was ever able to go out and be heard. Which everyone, including the fans found completely shit-filled. Now, what about JC, you ask? Well, his second album was just released and he is doing another small club tour. This one is going over a little better that Schizophrenic did, which everyone was happy for. But it seemed as though he had stopped living. Sure, he breathed, talked, walked, ate, and slept just like everyday average humans, but was he really living? His life seemed to just be recording and performing for the fans, once again. He had regressed back into the hermit stages of his life. The faze he was going through when he had met Cassy. But then he had kicked her out of his life. And now he didn�t have one at all. Cassy was his life. The only reason he had for going on and living each and every day to it�s fullest was because he knew he could call her and hear her voice anytime he needed to. All time spent with her was like his very own heaven, right here on earth. She could brighten the darkest of his days with just one smile. But he, the dumbass that he is, took that away from his world. And that day when Cassy had left to move back home to Buffalo, his world stopped spinning. And his heart stopped beating. And it was all his fault. Now, if he reacted this badly to her moving away, how had he reacted to the news of her engagement? That was the day he died. His movements, his life, he became a robot. A machine that had a routine. A routine that did not include feeling, emotion, and most of all, love. He was empty inside. He became the person he feared the most of becoming. The tin man, the only difference being, he no longer wanted the heart. For if he didn�t have the heart, he wouldn�t feel all the pain he hid from the world each and every day. He was a fake. And he knew it. He was waiting for the day to arrive where there would be an article in every gossip magazine throughout the world. The headline reading �JC Chasez-Fake.� That is exactly what he was. He put up a front, a solid brick wall, that not even the closest of friends could see through. That was exactly what he wanted. If nobody could get in, how could they get hurt, and how could he hurt himself yet again? ~*~ �What time is it?� �Eight thirty. So hurry your ass up! We�re already late, for my own bachelorette party, Mom!� �Hey! Remember what I told you. The guest of honor is never late.� �Everyone else is simply early, yeah yeah, I know. But come on! Hurry up!� Cassy finished grabbing her mother�s and her own purses as Carol finished taking her sweet old time putting the finishing touches on her make-up. �Alright impatient one. Let�s go.� �Finally.� Cassy said, practically running out of the house and to the car. It was her very first bachelorette party, and she was so excited. Her parents had never allowed her to go to a friend�s or her now sister in law�s. She �wasn�t old enough� as her parents always told her. But now, nothing in the world could make her miss her own party. She planned on getting trashed, and having the time of her life. She was getting married in two days, which meant that this was the last time she�d be going out with all the girls as a single woman. She had no idea where they were taking her, or how they were getting there, but Cassy was so excited. As she pulled up to Jackie�s house, where they had all agreed to meet, the transportation question was answered. In front of the house was a very large white hummer limousine, waiting for all the girls to pile in and head off to their night of fun. Inside the house, the girls waited for Jackie to come out of her bedroom with what the girl of honor would be wearing all night. �Alright alright!� Jackie came running out with something behind her back. �Since Cassy only has one more day as a single woman, I�d have to say there are a few things she needs to get done before devoting her life to one man for the rest of it. So, I took the liberty of getting together a little checklist the bride-to-be must complete before the night is over.� Pulling out a white T-shirt from behind her back, Cassy started laughing. She knew exactly what was on it. Since she found out Cassy was getting married, Jackie had been joking about getting the shirt for her party from Spencer�s. Standing up, Cassy pointed to shirt, still laughing. �Do you have any idea what sort of things are on this?� �Of course I do. I am the one who bought it, remember?� Walking over to the two girls, Ashley looked down on the checklist printed on the fabric. Her eyes widened at number two. �Get laid?� �Apparently I�m not the only who believes you should have another lover before having the same one for the rest of your life. Of all the people here, I�d think you would know about that the best, wouldn�t you agree, Ashley?� The way Jackie said her name made Ashley just want to strangle the life out of her. Couldn�t people accept the fact that Lance was only human and had made a mistake? �Now I mean, Jerry�s a great looking guy, and I know he can be a freak in bed, but come on! For the rest of your lives? Now if it were your ex-boy-toy, I would have completely crossed this one out.� �And tried to fuck him too, right Jackie?� �Guys, that is enough! Let�s just go, ok?� Cassy was usually the type to be the peacekeeper, but she did like a good fight here and there. But she knew that if she had listened to anymore of that, she would have been the one fighting with Jackie. Cassy knew Jackie had slept with Jerry while she had lived in Orlando, but he said there was nothing there. He wasn�t as into her as he was Cassy. And she couldn�t help but to be thankful of that. She couldn�t lose another guy to that bitch. Why was she friends with her again? Oh yeah, she knew how to party and have a good time. A little too good of a time sometimes. As they headed out to the limo, Cassy put her arm around Ashley�s neck. �I didn�t think you had it in you.� �Neither did I. But man did it feel good!� She laughed and then got into the limo. ~*~ The girls were all out at their final destination by 1:30 AM. Subzero, the only place where you can get a vodka shot in a shot glass made of ice. And needless to say, Cassy had taken about eleven or thirteen. Plus a few of black label JD. She was completely gone, but not too gone where she wouldn�t be having the greatest time of her life, which she was. As she was dancing on one of the platforms with Rachel to Rich Girl, the Dj came on the microphone. �Alright, listen up! We got us a lil� dedication. This is to the bride-to-be. He says you�ll know who you are when it starts. A�ight! Let�s do this.� Getting excited, Cassy started jumping up and down. �I have a dedication! I have a dedication!� She sounded, and looked like a little kid on her birthday. But it all ended when she heard the opening chords of Over and Over. She immediately began scoping out the crowd, looking for him. Then she spotted him, standing by the bar, drink in hand, a smirk on his face. Jumping down off the platform, Cassy charged towards him. I cant wait to see you Wanna see if you still got that look in your eye That one you had for me, be-fore we said our goodbyes And it�s a shame that we, gotta spend our time being mad about the same things (Over and over again) About the same things (Over and over again) Oh, but I think she�s leaving, oh man, she�s leaving I don�t know what else to do, I cant go on not loving you �What are you doing here?� �What is it illegal to go to a club now?� He immediately defended himself. �You know what I mean.� Cassy growled at him. Of all the clubs in Canada and western New York, did he have to be at this exact one at this exact point in time? �I needed to see you.� Well, that was short and to the point. �Why?� �Cassy, can we just dance, please?� �No.� Was her immediate response. But as soon as she looked into those gorgeous pools of blue that held so much sadness, she couldn�t help but to give in. �Ok, fine. But just one.� �That�s all I ask of you.� He smiled and together they headed out to the dance floor. 'Cause its all in my head I think about it Over and over again And I can't keep picturin' you with him And it hurts so bad yeah 'Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again I replay it over and over again and I can't take it and I can't shake it no. Feeling completely awkward, Cassy tried to look everywhere except to the man she had her arms wrapped loosely around. She was burning up, and kept fumbling over the tiniest steps. Anyone who looked at her could tell she�d had too much to drink. �So, are you going to tell me why you had to see me again, or just act like the past eight months haven�t happened?� �Cassy, you�re getting married in two days. And I don�t think I can�t let you.� �What? Why the hell not?� She backed up away from him and looked at him like he had two heads. �Because, I�m still in love with you.� With that, she burst out laughing. �That�s great JC. That�s just friggin� great!� Then she turned and ran out of the club after grabbing her purse. She needed to get out of there. She needed to get away from JC. But of course, he wouldn�t let her do that. Her skin tingled and burned from the touch of his hand he put on her arm to stop her. I remember that day you left I remember the last breath you took right in front of me When you said that you would leave I was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything But I see it clearly now And this choice that I made keeps playin' in my head Over and over again, playin in my head, over and over again Oh I think she�s leavin, oh man, she�s leaving... I don�t know what else to do, I cant go on not loving you �Don�t run away from me.� JC said, grabbing her arm so she�d stop. �Why not? You did!� Cassy yelled at him as she turned around, pulling her arm away from JC�s grip. �No I...� �Yes! You did. Instead of telling me what was wrong and us working it out you just decided on your own that breaking it off was the best thing for us. If that�s not running away from problems, I don�t know what is.� She tried to not let him see her cry, but a few tears escaped anyway. She couldn�t do this with him. Not now. She was happy. For once in a really long time, she was truly happy. But if JC asked her, right then and there to tell him her true feelings for him, she didn�t know what she�d say. Cassy had been one hundred percent positive that she was over JC. But now, seeing him right in front of her, she didn�t know what to think. 'Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again and I can't keep picturin' you with him And it hurts so bad Yeah 'Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again I replay it over and over again And I can't take it and I can't shake it no... �Just tell me one thing.� JC�s voice was so soft, she couldn�t make herself walk away anymore. There had always been something about his voice that made her stop and listen to what he had to say. �What would you say if I told you breaking up with you was one of the biggest mistakes of my life?� �I�d say it didn�t matter.� �Why not?� �Like you said yourself. I�m getting married in two days.� �I know that.� JC said, inching towards her until his face was so close to her own she could feel the small puffs of hot air coming from between those beautiful lips. �But that doesn�t mean I care.� And before Cassy could even think to respond, his lips were on her own. She tried to fight him at first, insisting that this was wrong, that she was happy with Jerry. �Are you trying to convince me of that, or yourself?� Now that I realize that I'm goin� down From all this pain you've put me through Every time I close my eyes I lock it down... ohhh I can�t go on not loving you �Cause its all in my head I think about it Over and over again And I can't keep picturin' you with him And it hurts so bad Yeah �Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again I replay it over and over again And I can't take it and I can't shake it no... Over and over again Over and over again 'Cause its all in my head............... CHAPTER 34 �Kit!� JC exclaimed as the pug ran up him and jumped right into his arms and immediately began kissing his face. �Oh I missed you too!� JC laughed as he pet the puppy, although she didn�t look so much like the baby he had last seen. �She�s missed you.� �I missed her too.� JC said, staring right into Cassy�s beautiful eyes, obviously saying more than what he let on to. Feeling a little uneasy, Cassy broke the eye contact. It was all too familiar. �So, um, do you want a drink or anything?� Cassy asked JC as she set down her keys. �No. I�m fine.� JC said, a little too quiet himself. �Well, the box is up in my closet so I�ll go get it. Make yourself comfortable.� Cassy said before running up the stairs holding onto the railing for dear life. Going into her large closet, Cassy reached up for the cardboard box on the shelf to the right. After grabbing it, she looked at the contents. Feeling a little teary eyed, Cassy quickly wiped them away. This was it. This was the final good bye. After his final possessions that she had from the time they were together were gone, there would be nothing holding her back anymore. She could fully move on with her life. Is that what she wanted though? Taking a deep breath, Cassy headed downstairs to give JC his belongings. �Hey. Uh, here. These belong to you. They were what was left at the apartment when I moved. I never had the chance to send them to you.� He took the box and sat down on the couch. She couldn�t sit there and watch him look through everything, so she went out back and sat by the pool. Hearing the back door open, she knew he was done and was coming to talk about everything. Sitting down next to her, Cassy saw out of the corner of her eye the white gold necklace he held in his hands. She loved the necklace, and it had killed her to put it in that box during the move. From the day he had given to her until the day she moved, she had never taken it off. Not once. It was all white gold and had two crosses on the chain. The one was just the outline of a cross and the other one sat on top and was incrested with diamonds. �I uh�� His voice was low and shaky and she knew it had the same effect on him, seeing it in that box. �I gave this to you, as a present. Why would you put it in there to give back to me?� He looked so upset and Cassy had almost wanted to cry out for him. Almost. But he did this to himself. Not the other way around. And she couldn�t change the fact that she had moved on with her life anymore than he could help the fact that he had broken up with her. �We broke up. Actually, you broke up with me. So I figured there was no reason to hold on to you anymore. And that meant I had to get rid of anything that reminded me of you. Which is why I had destroyed all that shit that night. I figured, if you didn�t want me in your life, then I didn�t want you to be in mine.� �But that�s just it! I did want you in my life! I still do. I know is completely ridiculous, but that�s why I did it. I figured not being with you would hurt less than being with you, but never really being able to be. But I was wrong. I was so wrong and it was the biggest mistake I have ever made.� �That doesn�t matter anymore, JC.� �Doesn�t it?� �No, not anymore it doesn�t.� �Because you�re with Jerry. I know that. But you�re not married yet.� �But I will be in two days.� She said before standing up and going back into the house to get a drink of water. As she was leaning against the counter, staring down into the sink she felt JC staring at her. �I can�t do this JC. I can�t do it to Jerry. He�s done too much for me and he�s a great guy.� �You know, I hear everything you say about him, but it sounds like all you�re doing is settling. So you know you�ll have a good, stable future. But isn�t that what your dad wants? Not you?� �I love him. He�s too good of a guy to just be thrown to the side! And do you know how long it took me to get on his parents� good side again? I was lucky for him to still love me the way he does.� She was starting to get aggravated with him now. Couldn�t he just realize what it was like for her to see him again? Why couldn�t he just leave her alone? And before she knew it, he was right behind her. She could feel his body push up against her backside. One hand went to hold her left hand to the counter, as his other one went to her thigh, slowly inching up the bottom of her short maroon dress. His voice was low and husky, Cassy had to fight the weakening in her knees. His mouth was next to her ear and she could feel his hot breath going down her neck. �But tell me something. Does he touch you the way I do? Can he make you feel as great as I make you feel about yourself?� Cassy�s breathing became faster and shallower as she felt his hand moving up until he hit the line of her panties. �Can he make you as wet as I can?� His fingers moved the cloth to the side. �Can he make you scream like I can?� She felt his fingers work at her most intimate place, causing her head to roll back against JC�s shoulder as she nearly collapsed in pleasure. Causing every nerve in her body to react to his touch. She hadn�t felt so great in a long time. Eight months to be exact. Yes, Jerry was great in bed. But JC, was so much better. JC could feel her starting to climax, so he quickened the pace of his fingers as he sucked on that sweet spot just below her earlobe. �And tell me one more thing.� He whispered as he heard her moan. �Can he make you cum like I can?� And that was it. She felt the wave rush over her taking every moral she had ever had right along with it. And as fast as it had come, it was gone. Trying to regain her composure, Cassy attempted to stand on her own. But she failed, practically falling back into JC�s arms. Her knees were so weak, her entire body was so shaky. But she felt so wonderful. Not caring about how she�d feel in the morning or the consequences of tonight would have on her future, Cassy turned around and pulled JC to her. Kissing him with every fiber of her being, all the passion she could muster up, she slowly led them to the stairs. Suddenly, JC wrapped her legs around his waist and carried her up to her bedroom, although he had to guess which one it was. This was a new house he assumed she and Jerry had bought together. But he didn�t care about that right now. All he cared about was getting into whatever bedroom he found first, throwing Cassy down on the bed, ravishing her body until the sun came up, and then some. He loved her with everything he was. Always had, always will. Since the day he read her letter. She was meant to be with him, no one else. And tonight, he had every intention of proving that to her. CHAPTER 35 Cassy�s eyes slowly opened to the bright sunlight pouring in through her window and shining on her face. It only took one quick glance to realize she had a pounding headache and her entire body was sore. Rolling over onto her back, Cassy held onto the side of her head as she groaned. �God, what the hell did I do last night?� She asked, what she thought was just the air surrounding her. �A lot?� She heard the deep familiar morning voice next to her. Immediately looking over to the very naked, and very exposed body, that was not her fianc�, Cassy screamed and fell off the bed onto her back. Standing up, she backed up towards the windows. �Jeez, Kitty Cat. Do you have to make me deaf?� �What are you doing here? Why are you in my bed�naked?� But then she realized, she was holding a sheet to her very naked body as well. �Oh god. Please, please tell me nothing happened last night.� she was almost afraid to speak, praying to God that this was all a bad dream and she�d wake up at any moment. Standing up, JC slowly made his way towards the woman he loved. �You know just as well as I do what happened last night, Kitty Cat. Why are you so bent up about it?� �JC, you know why�God, will you put on some clothes or something, please?� Cassy practically begged him as she turned around so she couldn�t look at the perfectly structured, naked body anymore. No matter how enticing it looked, or how inviting. How could she let this happen? "That's not what you said last night. Actually, I don't believe you said anything last night. You just tried to get me out of my clothes as fast as possible." JC said coyly, walking closer and closer to Cassy. "Last night should never have happened! You took advantage of me." She accused him. "I think you wanted it to happen just as badly as I did so don�t even bother pointing fingers! �Cause if I remember correctly, most of the fingers should be pointed at you." He defended himself. He couldn't believe how her attitude could just do a complete one-eighty over night. "I was drunk! Do you honestly think I would have given into you if I was in my normal thinking capability? God JC, I'm getting married tomorrow. Oh my god I'm getting married tomorrow.� She covered her face with her hands, turning away from JC. "How could I let this happen? Jerry's going to hate me. I've become the type of woman I hate! I'm a cheater. I've always thought of cheaters as people with absolutely no morals or self control at all. They give in to the first sign of fun or pleasure, and never say no. Or do but never mean it. Now I'm one of them." Cassy fell to the window sill seat, never looking up to meet JC's gaze. "What am I going to do?" Going over to Cassy, JC dropped to his knees on the floor in front of Cassy. Taking her hands in his, he looked up to her worried face. "Say you're going to be with me." "What?" Her head snapped up and she stood up, pacing the bedroom floor. "I am not going to be with you! Last night should have never happened, but it did, yes. But it doesn't change anything between us. You broke up with me. I moved on with Jerry. That doesn't change. What I'm going to do is tell Jerry what happened and pray he forgives me and still wants to marry me tomorrow." "Why can't we be together?" His voice was so full of anguish and sadness, but still it was so powerful. "It would never work! Besides, I'm with Jerry and I love him. Just because you decided you're still in love with me and you should try to come and get me to call everything I have going on here off, does not mean it will happen." Lowering her voice, Cassy took a few steps towards JC. "no matter what you tell me, my mind is made up. Yes, I love you JC. A part of me always will. But I am marrying Jerry on Saturday. So that means I can't keep thinking about you. And you should do the same. Move on." "What if I can't?" His voice was so low and full of emotion, it was hard to hear. "You can. You just won't." She said simply. She knew how stubborn this man was. But she had to get it through to him. She was not leaving Jerry. She loved him. Always had, and always would. "Nothing changes. Now I'm going to into the bathroom to take a shower. When I come out, please be gone. And take your things with you." "He's not the one for you, Kitty Cat. I am. Why won't you see that?" "I did see that! But then you squashed everything I had thought I saw in us and our future when you squashed my heart!" "You're not happy with him. I can tell. Yes, you may love him. But I will always have your heart, you and I both know it. But when you finally realize I am exactly what you want and need, it might be too late." That was the last thing Cassy heard before she shut the bathroom door. Couldn't he see what he was doing to her? Him coming back was the last thing she needed. She couldn't take the heartbreak again. Sure she didn't have a guarantee that he would break her heart again, but she didn't have a guarantee that he wouldn't either. And that was just too much of a chance that she wasn't prepared to take. About five minutes later, she heard the bedroom door shut, and she knew he was gone. Was it for good? She wasn't sure. A part of her hoped it wasn't. A part of her that would never be admitted. Opening the bathroom door, Cassy scoped out the room. It seemed so empty. Looking to the bed, images of last night played over and over in her mind. She felt so guilty. Jerry was a great guy. He was everything she needed for a steady future. But was that really what she wanted? Then something on the comforter caught her eye. Something shiny. Walking over to the bed, Cassy found a little note. Attached to it, was the necklace he had given her so long ago. Cassy, I know you said you don't want to see me again, but I can't let that happen. I�ve tried so hard to go on like I never knew you, but it all comes back to the fact that I love you. I can't tell my heart to just stop beating, although when you moved away, I had all but really, truly died. Although in every other sense of the word, I did stop living. I need you in my life, and I know you need me in yours. And if this is the only way you can carry a piece of me with you always, then so be it. I gave it to you with all my heart, and I want you to keep it. It has the same meaning then as it does now. Do you remember that quote, "if you love me, then let me go. If you come back, I know it's true"? That's how I felt when I had come back here for you. I was hoping you'd see what a true mess I was without you in my life, and you'd take me back. But now I see, Jerry is who you want. I guess the better man won. I will be here until Monday. Don't let it end this way. I love you, always, my little Kitty Cat. No matter what. And I hope you see that, before it�s too late. Just remember, without you, all I�m going to be is incomplete. Good Bye, JC Taking the necklace, Cassy put it around her neck. She needed a piece of him with her. For she had died too when things were over. But that was it. They could never be, ever again. Wiping her eyes, she turned to the bedroom door when she heard it squeak open. A part of her hoping it was JC, but that hope died when she saw it was Ashley. Ashley was fully ready to plaster into her friend about what she had just seen, but as soon as she saw the look on her face and the emotion in her eyes, she softened. Trying not to focus on the fact that the only thing covering her was a white sheet, Ashley spoke. �Um, you know I�m not the type to really put my nose in where it doesn�t belong or lecture or anything like that. But was that JC I saw leaving, while zipping up his pants?� She pointed her thumb towards the stairs. �I mean, I don�t want to jump to conclusions, especially about my best friend, who is getting married tomorrow, but I can�t help these thoughts and if you don�t tell me soon what exactly happened and tell me that I�m wrong, I�m going to explode!� Ashley rambled on. She did that when she was nervous. But what did she have to be nervous about? She hadn�t made the mistake, Cassy did. But she was jumping the gun here again. �Ashley.� Cassy�s soft, yet powerful voice interrupted her thoughts, and blabbering on about nothing. �Whatever you�re thinking about me and JC�� She was waiting for her to say �you�re wrong� or something like �nothing happened.� But no. Instead Cassy had to go and tell her �You�re probably right.� �Cassy.� Ashley didn�t even know what to say to that. Sure, she had known what went on between them, but to actually hear a confession, it put a stop to all mindless talking and thinking. �How could you do that?� Ashley knew first hand what it felt like to be cheated on. How could her best friend do that to such a great guy like Jerry? What had he done to deserve it? That was all it took for Cassy to completely break down into tears and crying hysterics. Ashley�s protective motherly instincts kicked in and she wrapped her arms around her best friend as she let it all out. �I have no idea how I let that happen. I mean, I was drunk, but that�s no excuse. I didn�t have the greatest thinking or judgment ability, obviously, but I was very aware of what was going on and what was about to happen. But I couldn�t stop it from coming. I had wanted it. God I am such a bad person. Jerry is going to hate me for this. I hate myself for giving in to temptation. I�m no better than any of those cheaters out there. If anything, I�m lower than them.� �No you�re not, Cassy. And yes, Jerry will be upset and hurt when and if you tell him. Everyone knows I was when I found out about that damn slut Lance fucked. But he�ll get over it. We all do. As long as he knows there�s nothing between you and JC anymore.� Looking into the emotionless face of Cassy, Ashley asked, �there isn�t anything more there, is there, Cassy?� �No.� It took her a little too long to answer. But she answered. And it was what Ashley had wanted to hear. �I�m over JC. And I love Jerry. That�s all that matters.� But Ashley didn�t believe her at all. Cassy was lying to Ashley, to JC, and most importantly, to herself. �Then why are you wearing the necklace again?� CHAPTER 36 *A/N* I changed the song in this chapter 3 times! First it was I Don�t Want To Lose You by Seven Day Faith, then it was Incomplete, then Can U Help Me by Usher, and back to Incomplete. Hopefully I chose right! Staring at herself in the mirror, Cassy tried to remember a time when she was truly happy. Not just with what she was doing with her life, but with herself also. And the only time she could ever remember, was when she was with him. With the man who decided to just waltz right back into her life without any warning. She had tossed and turned all night last night, unable to fall asleep. Not because she was getting married today, but because she had done the unthinkable and cheated with the one man she had never known she could love someone as much as she did him. The past eight months, so much had happened in Cassy�s life. She started dating her first love again, her best friend was having a baby and getting married, and she herself was getting married. In all that time she still could not manage to go on with her life as though JC Chasez never existed. He kept coming back to her mind, controlling her thoughts. Was this the life she really wanted to lead for the rest of her life? Was she really just settling because she knew Jerry was the safe way out? But most of all, was she running from what she really wanted and craved because she feared the future? Cassy tried believing that wasn�t it. �Hey baby.� Cassy�s thoughts were interrupted when her mother came into the bridal room. Turning towards her, Cassy gave her a little smile. �Hey, Mom.� �Uh-oh. What�s wrong?� �What are you talking about?� Cassy tried playing dumb as though her mother couldn�t read her mind. �Cassandra Ann Tonaus, I have raised you for twenty-one years now. I think I know how to read you like an open book.� Her hands were on her hips and Cassy knew that she meant business. �Now tell me what�s bothering you. What you thinking about?� Sighing, Cassy gave in. �Honestly, I don�t know what�s wrong. My mind is in serious overdrive right now.� �I know what�s wrong.� �You do?� �Yep.� She simply said, adjusting Cassy�s veil. �JC came back the night of your party.� �So?� �So you cheated on Jerry with him. And now you�re wondering if Jerry�s really the right guy for you.� �Yeah.� �Sweetheart, Jerry loves you for you. Not just because of how you make him feel. He loved you when you weren�t at your best like you are now. He knows the real you. JC doesn�t know everything there is to know about you. He doesn�t know the little things. What he loves is the idea of you, or being with you. He hasn�t known you possibly long enough.� �You�re wrong, mom. JC loves me for who I am, who I was, and who I will always be. He wanted to meet me because of a letter I wrote him when I was, what? Seventeen and completely unhappy with my life I was on the verge suicide? We have a connection Jerry and I could never have.� �But Jerry can offer you a stable future.� �Mom, I�m twenty-one years old. I don�t want to just settle into my future, especially this early in my young life. Five or six years, yes. But now? I don�t want a predictable life. I don�t want to just settle because it�s safe. I don�t want to be�� �Me.� Her mother finished for her. �No, I don�t. Mom, you had the chance to do what I have the chance to do now. I don�t want to live the rest of my life wondering, what if I had gone with JC? Would I be more happy than I am right now? Or would I be miserable? I need to find out where the future will lead us. I don�t want all these questions in the back of my mind for the rest of my life.� �Cassy, you are my baby girl and I will love you no matter what path you choose. Just please, choose wisely.� Carol kissed Cassy�s forehead before walking back out into the hallway to be with her husband. Sitting alone in the bridal room, Cassy turned the radio station to Kiss 98.5. Western New York�s number one hit music station. She sat there, just thinking how she was suppose to make this decision. Jerry was a great guy and she owed it to him to tell him the truth about what happened between she and JC and she couldn�t bare the thought of hurting him, especially in this way. But on the other hand, there was JC. That spoke for itself. Her mind being completely boggled, Cassy�s attention was directed towards the radio when she heard a dedication. She couldn�t help but to think the voice sounded familiar, but then it hit her when she heard what the man had to say. �I just want to dedicate this to the woman I was trying to win back. I broke her heart, and today she is getting married. If your listening to this, I just want you to know I�m waiting at our spot. Please, make the right choice. He�s not right for you. You know who you are.� Couldn�t anything make her decision any easier? Of course not. Cassy recognized the song as Backstreet Boys� Incomplete. She always loved the song, but now it seemed to have a different meaning. One that hit a little too close to home. Empty spaces fill me up with holes Distant faces with no place left to go Without you within me I can't find no rest Where I'm going is anybody's guess I've tried to go on like I never knew you I'm awake but my world is half asleep I pray for this heart to be unbroken But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete Voices tell me I should carry on But I am swimming in an ocean all alone Baby, my baby It's written on your face You still wonder if we made a big mistake I've tried to go on like I never knew you I'm awake but my world is half asleep I pray for this heart to be unbroken But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete I don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go I don't wanna make you face this world alone I wanna let you go (alone) I've tried to go on like I never knew you I'm awake but my world is half asleep I pray for this heart to be unbroken But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete Incomplete By the end of the song, Cassy found herself crying silently and she sang along with the lyrics. Sitting there, thoughts running through her full mind, Cassy was brought back down with the sound of a knock at the door. Looking up, Cassy yelled, �Yes?� The door opening, in came a very pregnant Ashley. She shut the door behind her before walking over to Cassy. �Hey.� She said very quietly. �Hey.� Cassy replied just as quietly, if not quieter. �I just heard a dedication on the radio.� �Me too.� Cassy replied, sniffling. �Look, Cassy, I know you don�t want to hurt Jerry, but it�s obvious you and JC are both hurting being apart. We all know he screwed up and made a mistake by breaking things off when it was quite apparent neither of you were ready for the relationship to be over.� �Ya know Ashley, I have a lot on my plate right now and you�re not making things any easier for me.� �I know. And I�m sorry for that, but I just want to know one thing.� Cassy looked into her friend�s face which prompted her to go on. �How long are you going to punish him for being human and having feelings?� Giving her one last look, Ashley walked back out into the hallway where the wedding party was waiting. �So?� Justin, Lance, and Chris all came up to her as she exited the room. �I don�t know.� Ashley shook her head. �I really don�t. She�s obviously thinking things over, but I don�t know if she�s decided yet.� �Man, why can�t she just realize already that she and JC are made for one another?� Justin said, exasperated. He was sick of this. No matter how poorly he and JC had gotten along the past few months because of what he had attempted to do in a drunken rage, he was still JC�s friend, and he wanted him to be as happy as he possibly could. But the only way for JC to be happy was if Cassy left Jerry and went back to him. Now, if they believed even for one second that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with this guy, they�d leave it alone. But each and every one of them knew better. Taking a deep breath, Cassy realized it was time to take the walk to the rest of her life. Looking into the mirror at the woman she no longer knew, Cassy said to her, �here goes nothing.� Then she turned and left the bridal room. �Hey sweetie.� Joe, her dad, came up to her. �You ready?� �As I�ll ever be.� She tried giving him a good stable, reassuring smile, but failed miserably. Of course he noticed this. �Cassandra,� And she knew that tone. That was the �we have to talk before you make the worst mistake of your life� tone. She knew that all too well. They had already had this talk many times before. �Dad.� Cassy said, imitating her father. �Don�t do this. Jerry loves you and I know you love him. He�s a stable future. JC�s just�� He sighed visibly, rubbing his forehead. �This is what you want.� �Daddy, I�m not so sure about that anymore.� Cassy said, silently praying for her father to tell her that what she was thinking was alright. �Do you really want to risk everything, your future, your life, on a gamble?� Looking into her father�s eyes, Cassy knew what was the right thing for her to do. The right path for her to choose. How could she ever hurt Jerry? He had given her everything, she wasn�t good enough for him, nor would she ever be. But for some strange reason, he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. That should be enough. But was it really? Turning her attention to the doors in front of them, Cassy sighed and held onto her father�s arms. Giving him a warm smile, she said �Don�t worry. I know my place.� And on they walked, following the bride�s maids and groom�s men to her new future with Jerry. CHAPTER 37 Sighing, JC picked up the annoying cell phone. Half tempted to throw it across the bike path into the stream, he thought better of it. It could be something important. Yeah, right. Without Cassy in his life, nothing seemed important anymore to him. His love for music and performing for his fans, the people who look up to him, didn�t seem to matter so much anymore either. Flipping the phone open, JC grumbled something into it that resembled a �hello.� �Hey man. What�s up?� �Hey, Joe. Absolutely nothing. Are you at the�� He couldn�t even bring himself to say it. It hurt too much to know that the woman he loved was marrying another man, and it was all his fault. �Yeah. Just waiting for her to come out of the bridal room so we can start this thing.� �Oh.� Joey could tell he wanted to ask, but just didn�t have the guts to. �I don�t know what she�s planning to do yet, JC.� �I didn�t ask.� �No, but I could tell you wanted to.� The line was silent on the other end and Joey knew this was killing him. �I know she loves you, JC. But she loves Jerry too. That�s what she�s known for so long, and that�s the stable route. As much as it kill me to say this to you, don�t get your hopes up.� Joey felt so undeniably terrible for saying that to one of his best friends, to his brother, but it was the truth. And the truth hurts most of the time. �Too late.� Was all Joey heard before the line clicked and went dead. JC had hung up. It didn�t take a rocket scientist to realize the man was hurting, badly. It was almost as if Cassy had played mind games with him, made him believe she was going to leave Jerry for him, but was never going to go through with it. Was this some form of punishment for breaking up with her in the fashion he had? If so, Cassy was not the person they all believed her to be. ~*~ Sitting on the bank of the small stream, JC gazed into the clear water. How had he ended up here? Not in this exact location, although he wasn�t sure when or how he had gotten there either, but to this point in time. Was there ever really a Cassy and did she truly steal his heart? Or was this all a bad dream. One that he�d awake from at any moment and realize, this woman never existed. Could he handle that? Cassy was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Without her, he turned into a robot once again. A robot with a routine that went on everyday of his long, boring, unloved life. And now, there was nothing more he could do to change that. It was all up to her, although JC was pretty sure she�d be half way to her honeymoon place by now. Just the very thought of Cassy, his Kitty cat, going to some exotic place with another man was enough to make him want to be sick. It was hopeless. �What were you thinking, Chasez? She�s the best thing that ever happened to you.� JC said to himself, throwing a stone into the cool water stream. �Is your life so shallow you�ve resorted to talking to yourself now?� A voice came out from behind him, making him jump at least three feet in the air before turning around to come face to face with the woman who haunted his dreams for so long. �What are you doing here?� So many questions plagued his mind, but he was in such a state of shock to actually see her there, in front of him, that was the only thing he could comprehend at the moment. �I don�t really know.� Cassy shrugged, looking around. �I figured you�d be on your way to your honeymoon by now.� �I could be.� �So why aren�t you?� These tiny, half-assed answers were killing him. Couldn�t she just say exactly what had happened? Visibly sighing, Cassy took a few steps towards JC before returning her gaze to his own. �I don�t even really remember today. I don�t know what I was thinking before the wedding, and I don�t know how I even got here. But what I do know, is what I was thinking while walking down that aisle, about to make one the biggest mistakes I could ever possibly do.� �And what�s that?� �I was thinking how everything was so beautiful, it was all going the way I wanted it to, and I was for the most part happy. Then I looked down that aisle and saw Jerry smiling at me. It made me smile to know that someone that great loved me so much. I still don�t even know why.� Chuckling a little, JC said in a low voice, �I do.� Looking up at JC�s watery eyes, Cassy could feel herself about to break down. But that was the last thing she wanted. She needed to say this, she had to tell him what had happened and exactly why she had come there. �I want to get married, JC. I really do.� �So why didn�t you?� �I don�t know.� She shrugged. In all honesty, she really didn�t. �I was standing there, in the most gorgeous wedding gown I have ever seen, so ready to walk down there and devote my life to that man. I was talking to my mom, and she told me not to make the mistake she had. To decide for myself exactly what it is that I want. Not what everyone else wants. I thought for about ten minutes and I thought I had my mind made up, but then, I heard something on the radio. It really made me stop and think.� �What did it make you think about?� �If I really wanted my life to be predictable. When I was walking towards him, I kept thinking how badly I wanted this wedding, but not this groom.� Was JC expecting that? Definitely not. His head whipped up to look at Cassy. Was she saying she had wanted JC to be the groom? Or she wanted the wedding but not actually to be getting married? �Um, you�uh, you�ll have to elaborate on what you mean by that.� JC stuttered. �JC, you are the sweetest, nicest, most amazing man I have ever met. You use to surprise me all the time, along with drive me completely insane with your little antics. But all those little things you always did made me love you even more, if that was even possible. You�re the only guy I could ever really be myself with and not hate anything about me. You made me feel�complete. And with you not in my life anymore, that feeling is gone.� There was a silence, and JC really didn�t know what to say to that. �So, uh, are you saying you want me back?� �I think that�s obvious. But there�s one problem.� The hope that had flickered into JC�s beautiful blue eyes was not gone. �I don�t know if I can take that chance again.� �Why not?� His voice held so much desperation. She comes here and says all of this to him, giving him a little hope that he might have his once in a lifetime back, and then she says she doesn�t know if she can do it again? What the hell was she trying to do him? He already felt like complete shit, how could she possibly make him feel any worse? Going over to Cassy and taking her hands in his, JC said, �Cassy, I know I hurt you, I hurt myself just as badly. But I swear to God that if you just give me the chance, I�ll prove you wrong. I know what I�ve been missing now, and I know how badly I want you in my life. I�d much rather have you in my life waiting at home for me when I return from a tour than not have you in my life at all. These past few months have been hell for me. And I know you feel the same.� Looking up into JC�s beautiful blue orbs, Cassy fought not to cry, but tears streamed down her cheeks. �That�s why I couldn�t go through with it. I mean I love Jerry, but I can�t marry him when my heart isn�t with him. I can�t live a lie like that. JC, I love you. I have since the first time I laid eyes on you.� �You had my heart from the moment you wrote that letter. You knew me better than anyone else without actually knowing me.� Putting his hand under her chin, JC raised her face to look at him. �Cassy, please say you�ll give me the chance to prove that. Say we can start over.� Cassy began to cry even harder hearing the desperation in his soft voice. How was it possible to love somebody so much? �I want that more than anything.� She choked out. Releasing her hands, JC put his hands on her neck and pulled her to him for a kiss, a kiss he had been waiting six months for. It was filled with so much want and need, they couldn�t help but to lose themselves in it. Sure, they had kissed and done a lot more than that two nights ago, but that was for one purpose, this was for another. One full of meaning, not just to take care of a problem in their pants. Pulling back from JC�s kiss and resting her head on his chest, Cassy couldn�t help but to smile. �I have been waiting for that since the moment you walked out of my apartment.� �As have I.� Looking down into Cassy�s beautiful hazel eyes that weren�t filled with so much mystery anymore, JC had to ask. �So, why me over Jerry?� Smiling, Cassy remembered the night he had told her he loved her for the first time. She had asked him the same thing. �Because you saw me when I was invisible.� |