This episode of "3ll Seekers" is brought to you after an exicting week for our heros "The Orleans Ave. Posse". We open on Jackson and the others standing in front of Toby's beat up van on Orleans Ave. in New Orleans. The Posse decided to stop in, yet again, and see Jackson's mother, after all these guys have rarely been away from home and they have been getting homesick. But I digress, Toby is leaning way over the engine of the van, with the hood up and smoke billowing from the interior.
3lla: "I don't get it. We didn't even get two blocks away from my mom's apartment... How could you're van have caught on fire being so cold?"
Toby: "I don't know. I can't see anything wrong right off the top, but I think it started inside the van, maybe the air conditioning, but it looks fine."
Spliff can be seen by the camera to be stashing a rather large blunt roach into his pants pocket, a look of innocence passes over his face (perhaps TOO innocent).
Spliff: "Yeah, that's weird.... weird weird $#!+."
Jackson casts a suspicious glance towards Spliff, but then quickly dismisses it as Spliff wanders off to help Steve call a tow truck.
3lla: "Well, I better get on the phone and see if I can book a flight to the show, we'll just stay in New Orleans until Sunday night and then I'll fly to the show by myself."
Toby: "Sounds like a plan to me. Think your moms will cook us some ribs tonight? I'm buying."
3lla: "Whoa, where'd you get money for ribs?"
Toby: "I opened this site about us on the road and selling collectables like NEW trading cards. Being backstage all the time I get guys to sign their cards for me and sell them for a mint, I just got rid of an autographed SBK platinum chrome for $350."
3lla: "No $#!+? Great, hey, how come you never asked me for my autograph?"
Toby: "Are you kidding, I know you, you aren't famous."
3lla: "Harsh."
Toby: "Nothing personal man, its just business."
3lla: "No, I see how it is..."
Toby: "Aw, come on, don't be like that."
3lla: "No, its fine, really."
Toby: "Fine, I'll let you sign a card and I'll put it on there when we get back to you're mom's."
3lla: "Sweet!"
Jackson does a little happy dance right there on the busy sidewalk.
Toby: "Cut that $#!+ out, fool."
To passing pedestrians.
Toby: "I don't know him... We aren't together... These damm crackheads, their everywhere.."
Toby gives up and walks away, Jackson still following behind him doing his happy dance, waving his arms around above his head just to further embarass Toby.
Fade Out.
Later that afternoon, Jackson has finished on the phone with the airlines and booked himself a flight on Saturday night to the site of Lord of the Rings. Toby, with rib sauce all over the front of his shirt, the reminints of an appairantly good meal, sits in front of his lap top computer tinkering with his successful web site. Spliff, Steve and The Guy Whose Name No One Knows are all gathered around the small television screen watching reruns of the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers on after school TV. The three seem very focused on the action on screen.
3lla: "Why the hell are we watching this stupid crap?"
Spliff: "Amy Jo Johnson."
3lla: "Who the hell is that?"
Steve: "Are you kidding, you don't know who Amy Jo Johnson is?"
3lla: "Sue me I never watched the Power Rangers."
Steve: "Amy Jo is the Pink Ranger, Goddess of All That is a fine @$$ woman!"
3lla: "Wow, they really say all that on the show?"
Steve: "No, its something that just becomes abundantly clear after watching her."
Jackson looks to the screen and sees the Pink Ranger in her Power Ranger costume and looks unimpressed. Steve can see the non-believer in Jackson's eyes and determines to show the heretic the true might of the "Goddess of all that is a fine @$$ woman". He pulls a tape out of his backpack and puts in the VCR, the label reads "Pink Ranger Greatest Looks Vol. 1".
3lla: "I can't believe you carry something like that around with you."
Steve: "Never leave home with out it."
The movie cues up and Amy Jo Johnson is show in scene after scene of her looking finer than any woman in the world, ever. Jackson is reluctant for a few seconds the he becomes mesmerized and plops down on the floor next to Spliff and The Guy Whose Name No One Knows with his hands tucked under his chin in amasement.
3lla: "This is the greatest thing ever."
Steve: "Told you so."
The Guy hands Jackson a bowl of Popcorn and Jackson begins absentmindedly tossing fluffy kernels into his mouth, never taking his eyes off the screen. After a few beats, Toby breaks the eerie silence that had overtaken the room.
Toby: "Jackson, come here, check this $#!+ out!"
Jackson reluctantly draws himself away from Amy Jo Johnson and goes over to look at Toby's computer screen. Jackson shakes his head for a moment, his mind obviously not there and still on Amy Jo.
3lla: "This better be good."
Toby: "I just put that autographed gold chrome card of you up twenty minutes ago and the bid is already at $115, that's eigth in my altime highest and the card still has over 23 hours of bidding left!"
3lla: "Holy $#!+, this is the greatest thing that I've ever seen!"
Spliff: "Must be a good day for you."
3lla: "Hells yeah, half of over a hundred dollars, its a great day."
Toby: "Half? What are you on?"
3lla: "You're gonna give me half of the money right?"
Toby: "No, I don't give anybody else half, its understood that the autographs are for me to sell and keep the money."
3lla: "But you know me."
Toby: "So?"
3lla: "Well, f**k that, that's the last card I'll ever sign for you."
Toby: "One of a Kind? I'll probably break $500 for it, this is great!"
Toby begins to quickly change the ad for the card to "One of a kind, Will never be another like it!". Jackson looks more angry and goes back to watching "Pink Ranger Greatest Looks Vol. 1".
Fade Out.
Night now on Bourbon Street. The Orleans Ave. Posse is hanging out inside Club Razoo, the music is loud and onstage half a dozen topless girls are freaking the MC. Jackson is drinking beer out of a large plastic cup and dancing a bit in the patio area. Next to him is a water fountain with huge gas flames coming out of it. Spliff comes bouncing by, waving his arms about. He brushes a bit too closely to the fountain and the selve of his shirt catches on fire. Spliff starts hopping around waving his arm in an attempt to extengish the flames. Jackson doesn't notice at first but then turns and sees Spliff's arm engulfed in flames. Jackson quickly tosses his beer on Spliff, dowsing the flames and drenching Spliff.
Spliff: "Did you have to get me all wet?"
3lla: "Would you rather I just let you burn?"
Spliff: "I guess not, but now I'ma have to go change."
Jackson looks around the packed bar, at the half naked girls on the stage, at the couples dancing on the floor in front of them and at all the people gathered talking in the patio section.
3lla: "Just as well, this place is dead tonight."
Spliff nods his head and they gather up the other guys and wade through the crowded bar and into the slow moving current of traffic on Bourbon Street. Spliff and Jackson explain to the others about why Spliff is charred and soaked.
Steve: "No kidding, he really set himself on fire?"
3lla: "Yep, and then he b***hed when I put him out."
Toby: "Setting yourself on fire on accident, you really are an idiot, Spliff."
3lla: "Could be worse he could set himself on fire for fun like Hardcore Jay would probably do during a match."
Spliff: "Yeah at least I'm not that stupid."
3lla: "Hardcore Jay's entire family obviously has problems though. Look at his brother, that guy has the biggest case of penis envy ever recorded. And while we're on it, what kind of drugs were their parents on to give them the same name anyway?"
Steve: "Yeah and that Thunderbird Al chick is one ugly broad!"
Everyone shoots Steve a glance and he shuts up. Jackson goes up to a street vender and gets himself another beer, but Toby offers to buy a round for everybody, he still feels bad about not giving Jackson half of the money he made selling that autographed gold chrome card the day before, which ended up selling for $512.
3lla: "Thanks, Toby. See, its like this guys. Hardcore Jay is all on about how he has been the NEW North American Champion for such a long time that he had no intention of dropping it now to 'da 3lla'. But he seems to be forgetting that the name of the company is 'NEW ERA Wrestling', there's always a chance for a new face to step up and get their turn at bat. Its my turn now, and I'm going to help usher in the new greatness to New Era. Its already started see, it started before I even got here, Shawn Stryker became the Triple Crown Champ and it was clear that there wouldn't be enough competition for him anymore, so new guys like myself and the NEW Intercontinental Champion, 'The Man' James Oswald have been brought in along with some old greats to help push things along. Hardcore Jay is in no way past his prime, but he's not the fresh threat that I possess. It just comes down to the simple fact that I am with out a doubt the NEXT SHINING STAR IN NEW ERA."
Spliff: "Hey, Jackson, maybe you should lay off the drink, man, you aren't sounding like yourself with a statement like that."
3lla: "No, its the same old me, Spliff. Just with one minor modification, the drive to win. That's what made my mentor Kyle Barrows such a great in this industry, and that's the last thing that I needed to learn from him in order to rise quickly to the same heights. Hardcore Jay is going to be the first to get a taste of this new drive at Lord of the Rings. Its not all about being a great show just for the fans anymore, its about my having a performance that I'll be happy with and coming out on top with the North American Title secured around my waste. All that, and giving Hardcore Jay a quick 3ll as he learns that Jackson Kelly is not to be underestimated."
With that the Orleans Ave. Posse toast their drinks to winning gold and continue on down the street, getting lost in the crowd of tourists and party goers.
Be sure to tune in next week when Spliff gets lost in the French Quarter and lots more as we once again answer the question...
Fade In.
Fade In.
