We open post Firefights! with Jackson Kelly and the Orleans Ave. Posse standing outside the arena about to get on the road toward the next town. Everyone is in good spirits following 3lla's victory over Tseng of the Turk Protection Agency. Spliff is in the old van twisting up a large victory blunt, even though he and the guy are the only ones that smoke, while the others are standing around figuring out which way they are going to need to go. Suddenly an NEW office boy comes running out of the arena waving an envelop and calling to Jackson.
Office Boy: "Mr. Kelly.. Mr. Kelly.. Glad I caught up with you, you forgot your pay check!"
Spliff: "Pay check? You mean we get paid for this $#!+ too? Damm, this job is hella sweet!"
3lla: "We? Kid, I didn't see you in there making Tseng tap out. I get paid for this, you get to keep me company, if you're lucky you might get a cheeseburger or something. Depends on how generous I feel."
Spliff: "Fool, don't play. How much is the check for?"
Jackson tears open the envelope and takes a look at the check inside.
3lla: "Three thousand."
Spliff: "Three thousand dollars! For real? Sweet @$$! Let's go shopping, son!"
3lla: "Do you see the name on this check? That's my money. You'da had some still if you didn't have the munchies all the time."
Spliff: "You got any idea what we can do with $3,000? We could have a hella good time! I can see it now."
The scene goes all squiggly as Spliff imagines what he's going to spend Jackson's new found wealth on.....
The Orleans Ave. Posse is running wild inside their very own Chuck E. Cheese. Jackson Kelly is standing on the stage playing guitar with the mouse and the bear and the rest of the mechanical band. Jackson is jamming out like a full fledged rock star, swinging his arm like a windmill then dropping to his knees and busting out a guitar solo ala Jimi Hendrix. Toby is sitting at a table by himself with twenty or so large pizzas of all toppings in front of him. Toby's face is already covered in pizza sauce and as he reaches for another slice of pepperoni he lets out a huge belch and a smile crosses his lips. Steve is playing in the ball pit with a bunch of young girls.... umm... nevermind Steve. Spliff himself is smoking a fattie and playing that game with the hammer and the gophers popping up. He is going ape$#!+ nailing the gophers in the head.
Spliff: "Yeah, yeah, bring that $#!+, bring it! You don't want none!"
The screen goes squiggly again and Spliff is staring off into space mouthing more obsinities with a smile two miles wide across his face. Jackson shakes his head and smacks Spliff to bring him around.
3lla: "Idiot! You mean to tell me you couldn't think of anything better to do with three Gs then go to Chuck E. Cheese? You need to lay off that $#!+ man for real."
Spliff: "What? Chuck E. Cheese is the $#!+."
Steve: "Naw, man I got it. We could have some real fun!"
Now Steve stares off and the screen goes squiggly again.
In Steve's mind, "Let's Get It On" begins to play and the entire Posse is chillin' inside Larry Flynt's Hustler Club on Bourbon Street. Bottles of champagne pop open on their own and over flow all over a number of fantastic looking strippers seated at a table with them. All the girls begin to rub Steve's bald head and he pulls out stacks of money from his pockets, placing large wads in the girls underwear. Strippers begin to catfight over Steve, ripping each others clothes off and pouring champagne all over eachother.
Steve: "Don't worry, ladies, there's plenty of Steve to go around!"
3lla: "Steve, its only $3,000. It'd take a million to get girls like that to fight over your punk @$$."
Steve snaps back into reality and shoots Jackson a pained look.
Steve: "Whatchu mean?"
3lla: "Nevermind. How 'bout you, Toby? What do you think 'we' should do with 'our' money?" Toby: "You mean other than twenty pizzas? Hmm..."
Toby scratches his chin and the squigglies come back up as we drift off into Toby's mind...
A large squad of Storm Troopers are marching down the corridor of the Death Star. As they pass by a corner; Hans 3lla, Spliff Skywalker, The Wookie Who's Name Noone Knows, Toby-Wan-Kenobi, and Princess Stev-a come sneaking behind them heading the other direction. The "Princess" trips over her skirt and lets out a very feminine scream, drawing the attention of the Storm Troopers, resulting in a laser battle. The Orleans Ave. Posse runs down the corridor and into the hanger where The Millenium Escalade is waiting. Just as our heros think they are going to make it home free, Ritchie Vader steps out in front of them wearing a suit of bright pink body armor.
Vader: "Spliff... **inhale.. exhale** I is yo daddy **inhale.. exhale**"
Spliff Skywalker: "NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!! It can't be true!"
Toby-Wan-Kenobi steps in front of the others and pulls out his light saber, the laser flaring into action.
Toby-Wan: "You guys get Princess Stev-a to safety, I'll handle this."
Princess Stev-a runs to Toby-Wan and throws his/her arms around the Jedi master, trying to plant a big kiss on his lips "for luck". But Toby-Wan shoves Stev-a off of him with a disgusted look on his face.
Toby-Wan: "B***h, you best step back."
With that the others make a break for the Millineum Escalade while Toby-Wan proceeds to put a hurting on Ritchie Vader.
Toby has a huge grin on his face and he is silently nodding to himself.
Spliff: "Toby, how the hell are we supposed to pull that off with just $3,000.... And still get you twenty pizzas?"
Toby: "I guess you're right..."
Steve: "And why the f**k do I gotta be the princess?"
Spliff: "Cuz none of the rest of us look that good in a dress."
Steve: "Oh... alright then."
3lla: "Ya'll do realize that your crazy @$$ dreams are part of the reason this is MY $3,000 and not yours right?"
Just then The Guy Who's Name Noone Knows pipes up and makes a suggestion.
The Guy: "I got an idea."
3lla: "Great... Alright, let's hear it."
The Guy: "How about we hit up Wendy's 99 cent extra value menu?"
3lla: "Now that... is a good idea, let's go!"
With that the Orleans Ave. Posse loads into their vehicles and heads to Wendy's to get some quarter pound double stacks and Biggie fries.
Fade out.
