Interesting T-shirts
I child-proofed my house, but they still get it.
On the front- 60 isn't old
On the back- If you're a tree!
I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes.
At my age, "getting lucky" means finding my car in the parking lot.
My reality check just bounced.
Life is short, make fun of it.
I'm not 50. I'm $49.95 plus tax.
Annapolis- a drinking town with a sailing problem
I need somebody bad. Are you bad?
Physically phhhhhhhhhhhhhhht!
Buckle up. It makes it harder for the aliens to snatch you from your car.
I'm not a snob. I'm just better than you are.I
It's my cat's world. I'm just here to open the cans.
Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.
Keep staring....I may do a trick.



We got rid of the kids. The cat was allergic.



My mind works like lightening: one brilliant flash and it's gone.



Cats regard people as warm blooded furniture



In God we trust. All others we polygraph.
Those who think they know everything annoy those of us that do.



Dangerously under-medicated




Every time I hear the word "exercise," I wash my mouth out with chocolate.



Live your live so that when you die, the preacher will not have to tell lies at your funeral.
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