Simon takes on...
Simon Anlezark is 19, bored, lonely, and lives in Sydney. If you want to make fun of his last name, try "Anal Suck";. He loves movies, perhaps too much. The movies he hates, he hates too much. Simon has too much time on his hands, and his job and family have drained his brain to such an extent where the only things he can like as much as movies are TV and breasts. Nice ones. Just don't get him started on them.
RECENT REVIEWS:
Van Helsing (2004)

Alien vs. Predator (2004)

Before Sunset (2004)

Somersault (2004)

Battle Royale (2000)

Am�lie (2001)

Archive
RATING SYSTEM:
The rating system goes by what kind of DVD release it deserves, if any at all...

1. Midday movie. On a community station. An unpopular community station. One time only.
2. VHS only.
3. Special features: Picture disc!
4. Picture disc, animated menus!
5. Trailer, 20 minute making of with actors wanking about how great everyone is.
6. At least a commentary.
7. A commentary, deleted scenes, outtakes, substantial making of!
8. Maybe a two disc set. Or at least a feature packed one disc. With Easter eggs!
9. At least a two disc set!
10. Two or more disc special edition director's cut! With multiple commentaries and a feature documentary! And a decorative box, with an outer cover!
SIMON'S TOP TEN FAVORITE OF ALL TIME:
(and there's a difference between "favorite" and "best")

1. Donnie Darko
2. American Beauty
3. Almost Famous
4. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
5. Scream
6. Shaun of the Dead
7. Fight Club
8. Kill Bill
9. The Castle
10. Amelie
SIMON'S TOP FIVE OF THE YEAR

1. Shaun of the Dead
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
3. Kill Bill, Vol. 2
4. The Station Agent
5. Before Sunset

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