| No One Appreciates Good Entertainment Ouch! She muttered as she tripped over another damn stone. "I hate the country!" she shouted to no one in particular. "Firstly they leave sticks and rocks everywhere for people to trip on, secondly EVERYTHING smells like animals, and thirdly (and most importantly) no one appreciates good entertainment." That last village (and I use the term "village" loosely) was not so bad, she thought. They did like some of the bawdier ballads and even the knife juggling. Well until that incident� A finger, ONE FINGER! Sheesh, I am sure he won't even miss it. If only that oaf in the front row hadn't tried to come up on the stage and get fresh. Hell, you would have thought the crowd would have cheered! It was a fantastic shot from that angle and distance. AND it only took off his pinky. No one appreciates good entertainment. It was entirely that wizard's fault she was out here in the first place. Could she help it if he had no sense of humor? Served him right. He was incredibly dull. Always trying to order her around. "Memorize this, mix these smelly ingredients, blah blah blah blah blah. Who could blame her for wanting to teach him a lesson? So she burned off his facial hair. So what? He did look kind of odd with no eyebrows, but was that any reason to kick her out? I think not! That town should be coming up soon, she thought. Her start to fame and fortune! (Well at least fortune.) She dreamed of being like one of those heroes she sung about. Only not so ugly (certainly no scars), and definitely not so stupid (like rushing into dangerous situations without even the hint of a reward). Oof! She thought she had run into a brick wall except when she looked up she saw a large muscular man in armor. She could tell from his tabard and plumes on his helm that he was part of the local guard. She could also tell by his stench that bathing was not high on his priority list. "Ahh, excuse me good sir, my pardon indeed!" she said as she bowed with a great flourish. "Where are you going, Wench?" he barked. " I am the Fabulous Fionna on my way to your fair city". "We don't let no scum into town, but maybe they'll give ya a job down at Miss Ginger's House a Pleasure" he snickered at his own joke. " I am sure your town could use some quality entertainment", she said undaunted. "Entertainment?" he said while he roughly grabbed her ass. "I bet you can be real entertainin" he leered. She turned her head and rolled her eyes. He's one of those, she thought to herself. "Alright, come this way" she purred as she led him off into a wooded area. "Yer tits ain't as big as I like em, but they'll do" he snickered again and fumbled with his pants. She nodded and smiled woodenly, hoping he gets this over with fast. "And I'll bet ye can't even sing too good but I can probably make ya yell" he guffawed. She twitched a little but nodded again as she started to unlace her bodice. Come on Moron, she thought hurry up. "I'll bet yer a wild one just like yer momma. She probly was real wild with them elves wasn't she? Just like her little girl, right?" He said as he started to slide off his trousers. A bit of drool at the corner of his mouth. She stopped in mid motion and very quietly said " What did you say?" All traces of the smile now gone from her face. "I said your momma�." "That's what I thought you said" her eyes like chips of green ice. She pulled a dagger out of each sleeve, spinning and twirling them expertly in front of his stupid face. "Hey, wait hey.." he stammered. "Ahh a silver tongued devil you are. But we can't stop now, you haven't seen the big finish!" With that she flipped both knives up into the air spinning wildly and as they came down she grabbed one in each hand and rammed them into his gut. "Uh" was all he could manage before he fell over. She cut his hefty gold purse from his belt and neatly tucked it in to her bag, laced up her bodice, straightened her hair and moved out of the trees. She looked ahead smiling brightly at the adventure that lay ahead of her. Glancing back she muttered to herself as she moved forward. "No one appreciates GOOD entertainment". |