By Charlotte Duval
Enjoy a luke-warm hot-tub today!
(Or a cold sauna, if you please.)
But just don't get too surprised
When you start to cough and sneeze.
For there's mildew on the carpet
And on the tile, and the spa room floor.
And what's that thing moving in the sink!
It's a two-week old MOLD spore!
It's always "Maintenance in Progress."
A leaky shower gets no repair.
You can wait all day...They won't clean, anyway.
And the drains will still be full of hair.
What was that burning chlorine smell?!
The spa contains no ventilation.
So why not open a door or two?
That would be a revelation!
The sauna boards have shrunken from fungus.
The pool: a cloudy shade of green.
And swirling on the surface of the water
Greasy scum can often be seen.
It's always "Maintenance in Progress"
No cold water in the sink.
Don't go in the shower, wait for an hour
Till the water doesn't run neon pink.
Lockers can't ever be locked
Because the locker doors are broken.
And last week's news, lying on the ground,
Is waterlogged and soaken.
No hooks to hang your towel anywhere...
Paper litters the bathroom stall.
And scummy hard-water deposit
Layers the bathroom wall.
It's always "Maintenance in Progress"
The weight room is one-hundred degrees...
You could moan and complain about a greasy sweat
stain
But the lint from the vents makes you wheeze.
The carpet is always soaking wet
From that broken drinking faucet.
And equipment stands unused
With caution tape across it.
Band-aids, boogers and spit-wads
Speckle the shower floor
Why doesn't anyone mop it!
I JUST CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!
It's always "Maintenance in Progress"
Makes you want to scream and shout.
You can stare at the mold, but that will just get OLD,
So you might as well just get out!
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