"It's a funny thing: Instant Messaging is a useful tool, but it's also a pain-in-the-neck. I think that we ALL need to learn to use it more gracefully...and I've talked to girls I know numerous times about this. Sadly, the message on I-M Netiquette seems to have to trickle out to one person...then another, and then another....
The simple rule is--to my way of thinking--that when a person says "Can't talk...I'm busy" you close his or her box. Immediately.You don't message:
"Sorry!" and...
"Okay" and...
"Talk later"
This stuff would be politeness in person or during a phone conversation, but it's a nuisence on I-M.
And, when you say "Hi" to someone & they just close your box, don't push it...just talk to someone else instead of getting all anxious over nothing! It's nothing personal. It's not a rejection of any kind. It just means 'I need my space & am busy & don't want to talk with anyone.' It's like: the phone rings & you let the machine pick it up because you're fixing dinner. Sometimes both you & C--- get anxious & I have to spend time reassuring you both.
The plain fact? I never I-M anyone! People contact me, and so I've never chosen to talk. I either agree to talk, or I just don't want to.... "