On a blanket from Taiwan: NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO
On a helmet mounted mirror used by American cyclists: OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE BEHIND YOU
On Taiwanese shampoo: USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE
On the bottle-top of a British milk drink: ONCE OPENED, KEEP UPRIGHT
On a New Zealand Insect spray: NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS
In an American guide to setting up a computer: TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING (Instructions were inside the box)
On a packet of American Sunmaid raisins: WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
On an American Sear's hairdryer: DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING
On Tesco's Tiramisu desert (on bottom of the box) : DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN
On a Taiwanese kitchen knife: WARNING, KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN
On some Chinese Christmas lights: FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY (as opposed to outer space)
On a Japanese food processor: NOT TO BE USEDE FOR OTHER USE (Now I'm curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: WARNING, CONTAINS NUTS
On an American airline's packet of nuts: INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS
On a Swedish chainsaw: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH HANDS OR GENITALS
On a Canadian child's superman costumes: WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right- destroy a universal kid fantasy)
On some British frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION - DEFROST
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY
On British Boots Children's cough syrup: DO NOT DRIVE OR OPERATE MACHINERY
On British Nytol Sleeping tablets: WARNING - MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS
On British Mark's and Spencer's bread pudding: PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING
