Also he has cracked America and even takes his shows to other European countries (Eddie is very pro-Europe) and performed in foreign languages. So far he only really has French nailed but he intends to take his next tour to Germany, one problem, he hasn't got round to learning how to speak German, oh well, I'm sure he'll find time in between his movie career. Yep...you heard me right...Eddie has hit Hollywood, he hasn't quite found that blockbuster that shoots him to the moon in international stardom but he is a good actor.
So what kind of comedy is it...well basicly...Eddie talks alot of rubbish but in an incredibly funny way. His stuff goes way off the weird ricter scale, so much so to the point where the machine exploded. Basicly he thinks that squirells leave the gas on and that sheep are expecting a better hair style than to be completely shaved. Then there are cats drilling behind the sofa and toasters that lie to us and the cosequences of birds using planes. Also there is jam...lots and lots of jam.
Oh and he's also a transvestite so a real all-rounder.
1) With computer's, there's always one thing you've forgot to do, which sometimes explains why you can access printer but the computer can't. There's an on switch on the printer.
2)The old hovers with the little brushes are really called HODEDEDA's and are so useless that even the dust must complain.
3)Some lawn mowers have similar problem to the hoovers and are so feeble that the grass just lies down and waits until you're not looking to shoot back up again.
4)Toaster's and shower's lie to us so beware.
5)The secret password to get into the pentagon is JEFF who was born on the first of Jeff nineteen jeffty-jeff.
6) That england was so poor after the war that they couldn't join in the space race...that they couldn't even send a man in a tracksuit up a ladder.
EDDIE ON CHAT UP LINES
1)The teenager approach: "Hello Sue, I've got legs...do you like bread, I've got a French loaf (hit her over the head and run) Byeee, I love you"
2)The coffee approach...use one of three lines:
"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a plastic cup!"
"I like my women like I like my coffee, covered in bees!"
"I like my women like I like my coffee, with a spoon in!"
3)The aquatic approach of spalshy-splashy where you splash whoever you fancy in the swimming pool.
4)Tell the truth to anything and do things on purpose so that you can say sorry afterwards and look really mature.
EDDIE ON NATURE
1)When you hear your cat purring, but can't see it, that's because it's drilling behind the sofa.
2)Giraffe's are so tall because mother nature was making scetches of a spaniel size giraffe and someone pouring a coffee knocked her and there you go.
3)When squirells stop eating and look around they are actually wondering if they have left the gas on.
3)At the big bang, everyone had to stand well back.
4)Salmon have such a hard breeding time because they are to expensive in restaurants so mother Nature hates them.
5)When sheep are taken in to be shaved they are expecting a really fashionable hair cut with wedge shapes on the legs.
GOD IS ALWAYS PLAYED BY JAMES MASON AND SEAN CONNERY HAS PLAYED A NUMBER OF FAMOUS PEOPLE IN HISTORY SUCH AS NOAH OR HENRY VIII
LEU. SEBASTIAN:Oh, I'm...oh
OTHER GUY:What is it Leuitenent Sebastion?
SEB: It's the rebels sir...they're here.
GUY:My God, man? Do they want tea?
SEB: No, I think they're after something more than that, sir. I don't know what it is but they've brought a flag.
GUY:Damn, that's dash cunning of them. Ah, Lord Vader.
VADER:Uh...hello?
(James Earl jones had not been cast yet so Vader's voice is a little squeaky)
VADER: Hello look, I'm Lor' Vader and just pay a-bloody-ttention, alright.
