Buffy: "Angel. Yeah, I can see him in a relationship. 'Hi honey, you're in grave danger, see you next month'."
-Xander (to Cordelia): "I don't know what everyone's talking about, that outfit doesn't make you look like a hooker."
-Xander: "Boy that Cordelia's a regular breath of vile air."
-Xander (sarcastically): "Whoa, stop this crazy whirligig of fun. I'm dizzy."
-Buffy (to three attacking vamps): "I don't want to fight all three of you... " (kicks one between the legs) "... unless I have to."
-Angel (to a vamp): "Good dogs don't bite."
-Buffy: "Why don't you go upstairs, get in bed, I'll make you some hot tea --"
Joyce: "That's sweet. What did you do?"
-Buffy: "You know, I'm the Chosen One. It's my job to fight guys like that. What's your excuse?"
Angel: "Somebody has to."
-Buffy: "Do you snore?"
Angel: "I don't know, it's been a long time since anyone was in a position to let me know."
-Willow: "How is it you always know this stuff? You always know what's going on -- I never know what's going on."
Giles: "Yes, well, you weren't here from midnight to six researching it."
-Buffy: "Cool, a crossbow." (re the arrows) "And look at these babies, goodbye stakes, hello flying fatality." (to Giles) "What can I shoot?"
-Xander: "Angel's a vampire, you're a Slayer -- it's obvious what you have to do."
-Willow: "No, no, no. No speaking up. That way leads to madness and sweaty palms."
-Buffy (to Angel): "What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment?"
-Darla: "Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?"
Buffy: "Bad hair on top of that outfit?"
-Darla: "You don't think I came alone do you?"
Buffy: "I know I didn't."
Darla: "Scary." (reveals the guns hidden behind her back) "Scarier."
-Darla: "So many body parts, so few bullets... let's begin with the kneecaps, no fun dancing without them... "
-Darla (after Buffy's arrow takes her in the stomach): "Close but no heart."
-Xander: "Ah, the post-fumigation party."
Buffy: "What's the difference between this and the pre-fumigation party?"
Xander: "Much hartier cockroaches."
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