Title: Reflections (Part Two)
Author: Diamond Tears
Rating: Pg.. I think, if I'm wrong let me know.. :-)
Pairing: D/S
Distribution: Dreaming of You. If you want it just
tell me where it's going!
Feedback: Bring it on!
Summary: Two pieces the first in Dawn's POV
The Second in Spike's POV
both mourn and reflect on being there for each other
Spoilers: Takes place After "The Gift"
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon is king of all things in
Buffyworld.
I am Queen of everything else.

Reflections Part 2...

I have no bleeding clue how long she cried. She just
sat and cried. For herself, for me, for Buffy. And it
didn't help. It never helps. The tears? Never help.
You cry till your spent, then wish you could cry more.

When she finally let me go I crawled to the
refrigerator and drained another packet. If it had
been anyone else I would have forced myself to walk.
But she knows. She knows I hurt and that I can't do
this.

I drained a third and then a fourth. Building my
strength so I could take her home. She looks so small
lying there on my floor. She curled up in a little
ball whimpering away her pain. Then, from the other
side of the crypt I smell it.

Summers' blood.

I spite of myself my mouth waters. But I rush to her
side and pull her arms from her knees. Pushed her legs
back so she's lying flat on the floor I pull her shirt
up and examine her cuts. They are bleeding slowly, The
small slits ooze and drip and she cries out when I
touch them.

"Shh luv. It's all right."

Hoping that the four packets were enough I climb to my
feet and pick up the small child. She's tiny and feels
like a handful of snow. She wraps her arms around my
neck and whispers something to me.

"If you need them... I have a couple stakes in my
pocket."

I place a light kiss on her forehead and watch as she
closes her eyes. She puts her head on my chest and in
spite of myself I feel a tiny ray of peace. This is
what I was supposed to do. For Buffy. This was my
promise. This is my job.

Giles is frantic in the house by the time we arrive.
He looks Dawn over and rushes out to tell the others
she's safe. Doesn't surprise me that he didn't think
to tell me or find me when he thought she was missing.

She lies there on the couch as I grab a cloth and some
fresh clothes for her. She looks up at me while I tell
her to stay lying down.

"I'm fine Spike." She's trying to act like everythings
okay when we both know it's not.
"I'm not taking any chances."
"Spike..."
"No! Stay put."

She rolls her eyes and lets me bandage her up. She
sits up and orders me to face the wall while she
changes her shirt. When I turn around she nods her
head and I come to sit beside her. She leans her head
on my chest and I wrap one arm around her shoulders.
She runs her finger on the palm of my other hand
silently.

"Giles will make you leave." Her voice breaks the
silence and it's thick with tears.
"That's all right pet. This is your home. No sense in
me hanging around."

She's silent at that. I surprise myself with hurt that
she didn't contradict me.

"Spike?"
"Yeah luv?"
"I think.... your part of home now."

She climbs closer and I welcome the feeling of
acceptance. She falls asleep and I find myself
wondering how much sleep she's gotten. I haven't
slept. I done plenty of imagining. All the little ways
I could have done better.

All the ways I could have saved her.

But I know in my undead heart I couldn't have. There's
no way. Even if I had killed that thing that opened
Dawn.

Dawn.

I guess we're all we have left now. Her family's gone
and she's all that's keeping me in this world. Because
I have her to think about. Because she needs me.

And I guess because I need her.

Because I'd still be plastered to the crypt floor if
it weren't for her.

I look up and on the mantel there's a picture of her
sister. The Slayer. Before she knew the cares of
slaying. The wind is blowing her hair and she looks so
young. An innocence I haven't seen since she sent
Angelus to hell.

Since before that.

In spite of my demon I feel the tears slid down my
face. They are blood red and they stain my hands as I
try to catch them all. I miss a few and wipe them from
Dawn's soft, young face. She shouldn't have to do
this.

We shouldn't have to do this.

I lean back and cradle the little one close to me.
Together we sleep. Together we drift away and try to
forget. Try to deny. Knowing that in the morning it'll
all come rushing back. To fill us with the pain again.

I have no bleeding clue how long we slept.
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