| Follow Me Part Four by Jess Spoilers for Season five, including the Gift. Sorry to anyone who gets this several times in your inbox. Author notes: Everything that happened after the Scoobies haul ass out of Sunndydale happened just as we saw in the episodes. This part takes place after Buffy has left the mortal coil. Damn that Joss. :) Thanks again for the feedback. -- Spike grieved. Got lost in a bottle for two days, most it spent alternating between yelling at the night sky and fighting the knot in his stomach that threatened to turn into tears. He would visit Buffy's grave, bringing flowers for Joyce and stub out his cigarettes on the grass that covered the Slayer's grave. Only once did he let himself feel the full pain while at her grave, falling into a silent, dry heaving cry. But that was the day she was buried. He stood by her grave half hoping her would emerge as a vampire and knowing if she, he would have to stake her or get the Wicca to curse with her a soul. He knew she had drank from Dracula, but noone knew if it was enough to being her back. When the dawn was only a few hours away, he let go of his defences and broke down. She was really gone. Buffy was gone. He had failed. He let Doc spill Bit's blood. Buffy was dead because he couldn't keep a simple promise to protect Dawn. That's what streamed through his electrically enhanced brain each moment since he saw her unmoving, laying on top of shattered wood. Its what called him to the bottle and beckoned him to crawl inside. He had killed Buffy. "Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. I killed her. Me. Me. Me. Me." It chanted through his brain till he poured bourbon over if and got lost in self-righteous indignation. He cursed God, the Devil, Dawn, Glory, Buffy, Giles, Buffy, Xander, Buffy, everyone he had ever met, Buffy, those he killed, and those he didn't. Then, three days past her burial, Spike caught a glimpse of Dawn at Buffy's grave. He hadn't seen many of them at the sight, but he knew they came. They left candles, flowers, letters. Ripper had even graced her with a tune, then set down and weep openly. Spike appreciated that, Giles had wept like a father losing his only daughter. Spike had not seen Dawn. He figured she was being kept under lock and key during the evenings, or maybe she hadn't come out of the bedroom Spike had deposited her in after she had gotten stitched up. Not knowing she had an audience, Dawn kicked the headstone. Swallowing the pain stemming from her foot, Dawn yelled at Buffy through the ground. Telling her she promised. That she would be there. Why did she do it? Dawn yelled that she wasn't real; she was made to be the Key, not an orphan. Then brunette sank to her knees, too exhausted to weep, too made to yell. The alcoholic stupor he had revelled in for days washed away and he stepped out the brush. "Hello Cutie. Dangerous time of night for you to be out, isn't it?" "Go away. I'm yelling at my sister. It's a sister thing." Dawn looked dejectedly at the marker, not even raising her head to look at Spike. "You could get yourself killed out here. You want her sacrifice to be for naught because you get sucked on by a fledgling?" he stabbed his finger at the headstone. "What would she think of that?" She turned her face to the vampire, eyes filled with un-fallen tears. "She promised me I wouldn't be alone." He took a few more steps toward the girl and crouched beside her. "Think she wanted it to play this way? She loved you." "Loved me so much that she left me? Good Buffy, save the world. Jump into the portal be selfish. `Hardest thing is to live in this world.' That's what she told me." Dawn picked up a lump of sod and threw it at the stone. "Then she left. SHE LEFT! Left me by myself." She looked at Spike with hard eyes. "And you expect me to be grateful? Her choice is over. It's done. * I'm* the one who has to live now. Really noble of her." He opened his duster and felt for the flask. He took a long draught and offered the young girl some. "She couldn't live without you, Cutie. She couldn't let you die either. You see another option for her?" "We both could have gone." She took the flask and took a petite sip. Spike's stomach took a familiar twist. "No." Her mouth twisted into a bizarre grin. "Cause then there wouldn't be a Summers presence on the hellmouth? Give me a reason." She pulled more handfuls of grass up. "Just one." "She couldn't take you with. Got to respect her decision." Dawn snorted and picked a Gitane butt out of the ground. "You always show your respect by littering on people's graves?" "To be fair, I was very drunk at the time." Spike saw Dane raise her eyebrow. "Times." He shrugged. "Figured the flowery word bit would just piss her off more, where ever she is." "Probably. She used to hate it when you'd act like a gentleman instead of a monster." Spike gave a full tooth grin. "She talked about me? Well, well." Dawn caught his glance and some of the hardness was gone from her eyes. "Yeah, I know it used to piss her off. Opened a door for her once and she nearly took my sodding head off for my troubles. Should have let it hit her on the arse." "Then she would have been yelling that you had no common courtesy and should be staked out of respect for society." "Couldn't bloody well win anyway I turned with her." "And she was always to protective of me. Even before we knew what I was. Drove me insane." Dawn bit her lip. "I shouldn't have said that. Speaking ill of the dead and all." "Bollocks. Buffy was no saint. She made mistakes. Giant monster Poof- sized mistakes with a bit of G.I. Idiot thrown in. You speak of them any time you want. Your memories shouldn't be censored cause some matron in the 1820's decided the dead might come back and get us." Her eyes welled up again. "I need her back." Spike squeezed his eyes shut and fought back the emotions. "I know, Bit. But we can't get her." "We could do the spell again. It worked for Mom." Dawn remembered that night and Buffy's reaction. Spike noticed her face fall. "Would you want to? Pull her back from heaven and back to Sunnyhell to fight another day? To be killed again? Would she want that?" She shook her head slowly. "But�" she opened her mouth with no sound coming out for several minutes. "I'm alone." "You've got Giles, you got Will, Anya, Xander, Tara. You are in no way alone." He thought for a second. "Ripper gotten a hold of your Da yet?" Dawn shook her head and spoke bitterly. "He hasn't even called back from the messages we left about Mom." A mental image of Spike tearing his head from the shoulders that formerly supported it flashed through his brain. He indulged the fantasy for a few seconds then turned his attention back to Dawn. "You should go home. Which one of `em are you staying with?" "Willow and Tara offered, but.." she trailed off. "Where are you staying? Your RV was trashed." He nodded. "Found a cosy crypt near here. Small family job. Should be good enough for a while." "Giles is going to England to explain to the Watchers Council what happened. The rest of them treat me like I'm going to break and they all give me `poor thing' looks when they think I'm not looking." She took a deep breath. "They wanna ship me off to LA to live with Angel. Willow went down to ask. I guess they want to make none of Glory's pals try and play the game of revenge in there spare time." Dawn paused. "I don't want to get anyone else hurt because of me, but I don't want to move. When I'm at home, it feels like they're both still there." "Isn't that painful, luv?" She nodded and swallowed hard. "Yeah, I keep thinking that�I know they're not coming back, I just don't want to forget them all at once." Spike stood up and brushed the dirt off his hands. "I'll walk you." "Will you stay? I �I" Dawn looked down at the ground again and bit her lower lip. "Xander offered, but there isn't room for him and Anya. I didn't want them sweating up my mom's sheets. Willow and Tara are having a lot of `alone time', but everyone's been really good and nice." "And driving you `round the U-bend?" "Nutso. Tara's been the best of them all, she just listens to me talk and doesn't ask me how I am." Dawn put her hand out and Spike helped her up from the ground. "Her and Willow need to be together after what happened, I don't want to get in the way." He squeezed the hand he still held. "I'll stay until Giles gets back. Don't expect me to parental, Bit. I have no intention of playing mother hen to the likes of you." Spike dropped her hand and pressed the human emotions he was feeling to the back of his brain. "Rule one: You listen and do as I say. No question, no arguments." Dawn opened her mouth to speak, but the look Spike shot her made her think the better of it. "Rule two: You go school, and you learn. You need help, you ask." "Thought you said you weren't going to mother hen me." He glared at the girl. "You wanna go live with the poof and his white- hats, be my guest. Go learn to brood be all sullen, maybe get some make-up hints from Cordelia. Think Irish has gone off, so you'll have to learn to drink from someone else." The girl stuck out her lip in an obvious pout. Spike raised an eyebrow at her and turned to walk away. "Rule three: No bloody pouting." He shouted back to her, his duster flapping behind him. Dawn grimaced at the figure walking away from her, but she quickly caught up with him and matched his stride. "Why do you get to make the rules?" "I'm the vampire. You're not." Spike pulled his duster close to him, as if trying to block out the slight breeze that followed through the cemetery. Dawn scowled at him "I'm the key to another dimension." His eyes flashed yellow and he pushed Dawn against the mausoleums they were passing, his forearm pushing against her throat and game face in full force. Dawn raised her hand to try to push him off, but he caught it easily and pinned her arm above her head. Bring his head millimetres from her own, he growled. "Do you want the world to know? You don't speak of it in public, Cutie. There are all sorts of demons and ghouls who wouldn't think twice of draining you for the sheer power that runs though those veins." He shook off the demon and relaxed his hold on her throat, just barely. "Mix in the Slayer blood you got when the monks created you, and you're a tasty under-world treat, luv. Glory could be the tip of the ruddy iceberg." They stayed like that for a few seconds before Spike let up his grip completely and allowed her to move. Dawn rubbed her throat, eyebrows furrowed at his actions. Spike sighed heavily and shook his head at the heavens before he answered her unspoken question. "I'm evil. It's that simple. Why do you people keep on forgetting that? I know what the dregs would be planning, cause I would be doing the same if�" He waved his hand at her and softened his gaze. "You alright?" "If I bruise, Giles will kick your pale butt." She said without a trace of humour. "I'm not afraid of the Watcher." He thought for a minute. "The witch is beginning to concern me, powerful little thing, isn't she?" "Would you really be planning that if you got the chip out? You would drain me?" Dawn was still leaning against the stone wall, disbelief and anger flashing behind her eyes. She watched Spike widen his eyes for a split second, and then took the tiniest step toward the girl. "No. You are my charge, I promised to protect you. A coupl'a months ago, would have been a different story, could have played two ways, me a pile of road grit or the lot of you feeding me for months. But now I'm completely domesticated and turning into the blessed mirror of the poncer as we speak." Spike gave a wicked gin. "But I'm still have better hair then him, yeah? Have I told you what his hair was like when we were running amuck on the continent? Horrible, it was. Split ends and frizz everywhere." Spike gave a fake shiver. "Gives me nightmares to think `bout it." Dawn's hand was still at her throat, but she looked less pissed at the vampire. "Next time you want to emphisise something, just use a louder tone of voice, kay?" A thought exploded in her brain and she reached out to smack the vampire in the chest. "That hurt! You hurt me! Why aren't you on the ground in pain?" Spike winked at her. "Figured out its all in the intent. As long as I don't intend to hurt you, I don't get the fun light show in my noggin." He cocked his head to one side and looked closely at her throat. "And there isn't a mark on ya, quite complaining." "You just want to check out my neck. Quit it. No matter what you convince yourself of, it will still hurt if you drink me." He moved his eyes from her jugular to her eyes. "Never entered my mind, pet." "Un-huh. Walk." Dawn pushed him lightly and the vampire faked a pained look before resuming his course back to the Summers household. -- End part four :) More will come. ::grin:: |