Author:Heeroluva
E-mail: [email protected]
Rating: PG-13 for now, will more than likely get higher
Spoilers: Through 'The Gift"
Pairing: Spike/Dawn
Summary: Spike leaves Sunnydale the day of Buffy's death after
having made a promise to Dawn and returns over a year later with a
few
surprises.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Buffy characters. Joss does.
Feedback: It's more than welcome. I love hearing what others have to
say.
Authors Note: Sorry about the delay. Computer problems came out. I'll
have
the next part out as soon as I can. And thanks to everyone who
reviewed.
Astonished I was unable to move, as if his gaze held me anchored in
place...almost as if I was in a trance. Staring at him now, I
realized that I'd never paid that much attention to what a vampire
looks like. When I was younger I was too busy screaming and running
and later too busy fighting for my life to really look at what it was
I being attacked by, but now it seems that I have all the time in the
world and thinking that, I drink in the sight before me unable to
tear my eyes away from his face.
Under jutting brows his eyes glow golden as if they blazed with there
own inner fires with pupils as small as pinpoints, not needed to take
in the most minute fraction of light. The ridges that are present
only aided in bringing out his prominent cheekbones and sharp nose,
but it was his mouth that drew my attention and curiosity, the mouth
that could so easily show so many emotions.
Though now his lips were drawn back in a sneer showing off his fangs.
Impressive fangs. Long white fangs, tapering off into needle-like
points, not like the dull, yellow ones of the vampires that I've
seen. Even without light they seem to shine like glass.
What amazed me most was that although he looked completely different,
completely abnormal, but he also looked completely natural, with just
as much right to live as any other creature. Which doesn't mean that
I'm not scared and that I'm totally crazy for thinking such thinks. I
mean that when I met up with Spike again I didn't expect him to go
all 'Grr' on me.
Unconsciously I reached up to trace his cheekbone wanting to feel
what I was seeing. "How-"
Spike's hand came up faster than I could see and grabbed my wrist,
pulling my hand away before I could touch his face and what I was
about to say flew out of my mind as if it never existed.
And then he bit me.
He was so fast. Unbelievably fast. With his free hand he caught my
jaw and tilted my head back and to the side bearing my neck to him.
Not roughly but with irresistible control and precision as if
practiced millions upon millions of times. Then before I had a chance
to scream his teeth sunk into my jugular with a hot sting. Vampires
fangs sinking into my flesh. Something that I never expected to
happen to me, especially not with this vampire, the only being that I
trusted more than anything in the world, the only one who understood
the real me.
Panic flooded me yet I did not, could not struggle, knowing that with
some innate instinct that it would be the worst possible thing to do
at the moment, so I went completely limp, trusting in whatever fate
that Spike had in store for me this night. He pulled me flush up
against him cradling me in his arms as if I would break at any moment
and gently nursing from my neck like at baby receiving nourishment
from its mother's breast. He didn't force the blood out by sucking
which I again knew would be extremely painful but instead let my only
rapidly beating heart do the work for him, letting me bleed at my own
pace and licking it up once it reached the surface.
Like a shock of suddenly being dropped into a pool of water, the
lapping of his tongue brought a new heat that was strangely
pleasant...a sensation of release, of giving, of closeness, knowing
that it is my blood that strengthens him. It felt that Spike and I
were moving closer and closer, like two drops of water moving
together, then merging into one singular drop.
Then suddenly I wasn't myself anymore. Something was pulling us
together, trying to connect us, mold us into something new, something
different. It was almost as if a channel was opening between my soul
and his.
All at once it happened in a sudden, silent explosion. Bright,
colorless light burst around me, engulfing me in its all-consuming
capacity. I felt as if I was being tuned, backwards, upside-down, and
inside-out. When everything finally calmed down enough to resemble
something reasonably normal I realized that I was seeing myself in
its most elemental state, my own essence, my soul.
And then I realized that in this vast emptiness I wasn't alone. I
turned or at least felt that I was turning since my physical body
hasn't moved since he bit me and came face to face with Spike, or at
least the simplest substance of what he is. Then unexpectedly I can
sense him, his mind, his thoughts and feelings, emotions flowing into
and through me.
Protectiveness, caring, concern, confusion at what was happening.
Wave after wave of it washed over me like the tide coming into the
bay. And longing, longing to be there for me, to comfort me when I
cried and felt lonely. Guilt at having not protected Buffy and me.
Unknowingly we had both sunk to the ground kneeling, while arms
wrapped around each other, fingers intertwining holding us in place,
keeping them from floating away into nothingness or becoming so lost
in one another that we couldn't find where one began and the other
ended. Spike's mouth was still resting on my neck, his tongue gently
lapping my blood, while my head fell forward landing on his shoulder,
my mouth on his neck.
What are you doing to me?
The thought roared through me and I would have covered my ears if it
had been spoken aloud, but it hadn't been so I had to make due with
what I had and yelled right back. What do you mean what am I doing to
you? What are you doing to me? It's not like I've made it a past time
going around and getting bit by vampires. You're supposed to be the
one that knows what's going on. You're the one that's done this
nightly for over a hundred years.
I could see horribly dark places in Spike's mind, tangled, thorny,
scary parts full of anger and hate and death. And then there were so
many other parts- most of them unused but full of potential to be
wonderfully beautiful.
Get out of my mind. I don't know what's happening this has never
happened before.
Spike was panicking now, not wanting me to see the ugliness of his
past. It was almost as if he was scared, scared that I would see the
real him and reject him for it. But it was too late now anyway. I was
here and I didn't know how to leave, not that I would purposely leave
even if I know how.
Memories flashed by, some horrible and terrifying and other touching
and sweet. One caught my attention. It happened a couples months ago,
not long before he returned here and started watching me.
Spike was fighting a vampire. Not that there was anything unusual
about that. What was unusual was that he wasn't having one of the
best fights of his life. It seemed that he was getting hit more than
the other vampire was.
Taking a closer look at the other vampire I realized that it looked
kinda' like what Buffy had told me that the Master looked liked.
That's because he is, Luv.
I started concentrating so hard that I forgot that this was his
memory that I was seeing.
Spike was quickly losing and in one last desperate effort he lunged
for the Master vampire's neck and bit down draining him in seconds.
The body burst into dust and floated lightly to the ground. Spike
reached into his trench coat pocket for his cigarettes when he
doubled over in pain holding his held. Falling to his knees, then
collapsing to the ground and curling up on his side he let out a
blood- curdling shout before passing out.
Looking closely I could see what looked to be like electricity
crackling along his body, seeming to start from the back of his head
then spreading outward to the rest of his body.
The memory faded away to show others.
Hey wait! Spike,e what happened? Was that what I think it was?
Yeah, Pet, it is.
But how?
Do you ever wonder how vampires become so powerful?
No, power comes with age I thought.
That's where you and most everyone else is wrong, pet. Yes, our power
does increase somewhat with age, bur not as drastically powerful as
some vampires are.
Do you mean like Dracula?
Yeah, he's one of the perfect examples. I'll tell you our secret. The
power comes from blood. Not just human blood, because you contain so
little mystical powers, but the blood of other vampires and demons.
Dracula for example found a demon that was thought to have been
extinct and now may be and drained it. That's were he got him un-
vampire like characteristics. For me I stick to other vampires and
the sort.
But that doesn't explain about the chip.
I'm assuming that the master vampire's powerful supernatural blood
short circuited the chip with too much energy. I was a master vampire
in my own right before I left to travel around the bloody world. I
hunted quite a few master's and destroyed their nests. Hell I'm
probably stronger than Angel now if he hasn't had any run ins with
masters. Even if he did he probably didn't drain him, being the poof
that he is and shying away from doing anything that he doesn't have
to do that is vampire in nature.
You are more powerful than him. I felt it.
What do you mean that you felt it?
Exactly what it sounds like I can sorta' sense your power. I've
always been able to do it. It was almost suffocating when I first saw
you, like I was being pulled down into water and whatever was holding
me wouldn't let go.
How...? Nevermind. It can wait.
Then with a start I realized that he was seeing me as much as I was
seeing him. I tried to pull away, not wanting him to see me, unable
to conceive that he had been feeling the same thing not moments
before.
I don't think so Lil' Bit. You had your turn. Now I'll have mine.
Let's see what goes on in that little head of yours. Nothing like
this has ever happen before and who knows if I will ever get a chance
like this again.
Unbidden he was there with me, not that he wasn't here before, but
now he was searching, but searching for what.
When I find it I'll let you know.
I could almost see the smirk on his face, knowing that if I could see
him that that is what he would be doing.
I felt him probing deeper and deeper into me. Felt him looking
through memory after memory and discarding them just as fast,
reliving days that I hadn't thought about in ages.
A memory caught Spike's attention and he stopped and watched it
happen, not rushing through like the ones before it. It was of the
night that Buffy died and the day that followed, the day that he had
taken care of me and the day that he left.
The feeling that I had felt that night rushed over me as if I was
again reliving that day. All the pain, angst, grief, and guilt washed
over me. But over ridding all those emotions were the admiration, the
unconditional trust that I'd had for him, and how much I cared for
him. He could feel the betrayal that I felt when I woke and found
that he was no longer there, that he had left me. How I had closed
myself off from everyone knowing that everyone I truly cared about
left me. First my dad, then Mom, next Buffy soon after, and the next
day how Spike himself had left leave me totally, completely alone.
Not even letting the remnants of the Scooby Gang close again; afraid
of the pain it might bring if they left too.
A more recent memory took its place of me sitting in Biology class
behind Kirste, my generation's Cordelia Chase. I'd had the misfortune
to, in her mind, not be cool enough to be left alone, especially
after Buffy's death when my emotions were running high. She loved to
provoke a response at the beginning in tears and later in indifferent
silence. I'd always liked science, learning how the world worked, but
now I'd always let out a sigh of relief when class was over letting
me get away from her stinging remarks.
"Your foot is on my chair," Kirste had said, turning around to glare
at me.
I glanced down and noted that both my feet were under my desk and
nowhere near her chair, so I rolled my eyes and ignored her turning
back to my work.
"Excuse me, Dawnie. I believe I am speaking to you."
I looked up at her and said, "As you are able to see I'm not touching
your chair so just leave me alone."
Kirste glared at me for a minute before turning forward to smile at
her friend Claire and asked, "So, like who are you taking to the
Alpha's party this weekend?"
Claire smiled back. "I don't know. Either Evan or Matt. Or maybe
Brad. Then there's Jamie. I can't decide.
"I'm going with Bill," Emily, another of the flock said, joining in.
With half an ear I listened to them chat about the latest frat party
and who the lucky guy was that would escort them there would be this
time, while wishing that the teacher would get there already so that
class could start. I suddenly heard my name and started listening.
"Please, Little Miss Virgin? Like who would date her?" Kirste said
with contempt.
"What?" Emily asked, not knowing what she had done to make Kirste mad
so fast.
"Little Dawnie couldn't get laid if she paid." Kirste turned to
glance at me and noticing that I had heard smirked and continued, "I
mean just look at her."
Claire and Emily both turned to look.
"That gangly frame. Those clothes. That hair. That complexion. That
flat chest and no hips to speak of. She couldn't get a date with a
blind man."
Following suite they all turned back around and giggled as if they
had all heard the funniest thing in the world, which to bitches like
them it probably was.
"No boy, let alone a man will ever want her. Hell, she's never even
been on a date. At least not with anyone around here. She's trash,
pure and simple. Her sister was trash. Her mother was trash. A
complete waste of space. If she wasn't so hideous I bet she would
have followed in her sister's footsteps as a slut."
I was about to stand up and shout at her when the teacher walked in
and began the lesson but Kirste continued on.
"I heard that she got kicked out of school in LA for burning down the
gym and fighting. Then when she moved here she went through boys like
toilet paper through high school. She supposedly blew up the old high
school on her graduation. Then the first guy she got with in college,
she fucked him on the first date. Then she went out with some TA that
cheated on her and left town without saying good-bye and to top it
all off a couple months later after her mom died she went crazy and
jumped off a tower."
I wanted to jump up, strangle and shake her while screaming, 'SHUT
UP! SHUT UP! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT SO MIND YOUR
OWN FREAKING BUSINESS AND DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT MY FAMILY AGAIN
OR I WILL KILL YOU!' It took all my strength not to do just that and
make a total spectacle of myself. I fought back the words and the
tears not wanting Kirste to know just how much those comments about
me stung, and those things about Buffy just twisted the knife more,
even though that most of it wasn't true.
I was thankful when class ended and quickly got up and hurried out of
the classroom, but not fast enough to miss the triumphant look that
Kirste sent her sheep. She had seen how much her words had hurt.
The rest of the day passed in a daze but I realized that I agreed
with almost everything that she said. I'd told myself the same things
on more then one occasion. I'd never been kissed and knew that it was
more than likely that I never would. The one thing that I didn't
agree with was the flat chest and no hips. I had both. I just didn't
go around flaunting them in skin tight clothing. I keep my clothes
baggy to hind my curves, saving myself from the unwanted attention.
In the outside world a door slammed nearby pulling us both rather
unceremoniously back to reality. I was so startled that I bit Spike
hard drawing blood. In a rush it filled my mouth and without thought
I swallowed.
Spike pulled back while jerking me away from him, holding me at arms
link. He stared at me with shock and what looked like growing horror.
His demon face slipped away revealing that I was right.
Nervously I licked my lips realizing that there was blood on them and
just comprehending that I had bit him.
Spike, in a voice that I had never heard him use before
asked, "Nibblet, what have you done?"
TBC...