| Curves of Time Part 1 Author: Eaglewolf E-mail: [email protected] Spoilers: Nope Summary: Spike makes a sacrifice Rating: PG-13 Pairing: S/D slight B/G Distribution: Feel Free :) Just tell me where Feedback: On my fic? Love it ! Flames? I've been burnt enough, don't need anymore. Disclaimer: Joss, Fox, and everyone else in their sandbox own it. Dedication: Too many ppl to thank So this is for *everyone*! Author's Note : I am a b/g shipper through and through, and proud of it! But this fic is D/S so if you don't like the idea of B/G close your eyes for the one line it's mentioned! In this part of the fic anyway:) Hope you enjoy! ****** "She's always loved you." Giles murmured quietly to the blonde vampire sitting in front of him. Spike held his head in his hands. He sighed heavily, "I love her too you know. Bloody hell mate, you know how much I love her. But I can't.. I've hurt her too much.. I need to let her live, I want to give her the light. She deserves to know what she's given up." "What if its the darkness she wants Spike? Angel was wrong for Buffy, she was always meant for me." Giles smiled sadly. "But Dawn? Dawn loves *YOU*, she loves everything about you. She always has." Spike shook his head sadly, and looked into the eyes of his former enemy. "I just don't want to hurt her anymore," he whispered. *** Dawn smiled softly as she saw the envelope Spike had left on her pillow. They'd been fighting a lot lately, but she still loved him as much as she always had. She was 19 now, and at college studying demonology. When she'd seen it on the syllabus how could she choose any other major? With Giles and Buffy as her coaches she was top of her class. She'd been with Spike since just before her 17th birthday. He'd taken such good care of her ever since she could remember. Lately though she'd wondered if she was missing something. Spike had been her first, she'd never even kissed a real boy, she was beginning to wonder if she was missing out on something. She knew she loved Spike, and always would, but she contemplated what it would be like to make love to someone with a heartbeat. She opened the envelope to find a cd and a letter. Her smile turned to a frown as she began to read, it wasn't long before tears started to fall from her eyes. He was gone. Spike had left her. Nibblet, I want to tell you first of all how much I love you. You have been my reason for living these past few years. It was never Buffy, always you. You're my little bit, and I will love you until the end of time. It hurts me so much to write this, but I've taken so much of your life from you. I know you love me, I can just hear you cursing me as you read this. I wish I had the courage to do this to you face to face, but I don't. I'd look into your beautiful blue eyes and I'd never walk away. You've mesmerized me, for the longest time. I watched you much longer than you watched me. I'm going away pet, I want you to have the light. I can only bring you the darkness. But I'm not as selfless as Angel, the thought of never seeing you again.. I can't do it pet. I can't do it.. so instead I'm leaving for 5 years. In 5 years you will have had a chance to experience the light, and choose between the two. Light or Dark.. I'll miss you every second I'm gone. But for me 5 years isn't so long, and I know to you it will seem like a lifetime, but it's not. You'll probably say you'll choose me, you'll always choose me. But pet, don't. I want you to go out and enjoy your life to the full, and if when we meet again you are happy with someone else- I will wish you well and go on with my life, without you. I'll always look out for you Dawny, you are my love, my life. I thank you for everything you've ever done for me. I just can't go on hurting you anymore, I need to give you a chance to grow, spread your wings without me. I love you always Nibblet, Spike Dawn put the letter down, and moved towards the cd player. She felt numb instead, five years he was leaving her for five years. He would come back, but for five years she wouldn't feel his touch upon her skin, feel his lips upon her own. The tears fell harder now. She pressed the play button and sat on the floor holding her knees and rocking back and forth slowly. "Spiiike" she moaned as she listened to the words. I'm tired of watching me hurt you I'm tired of being the tear drops on your face I'm tired of loving this way, I'm tired of loving this way I know your every weakness I can find one in everything you say I'm tired of loving this way, I'm tired of loving this way Dawn rocked herself back and forth as she listened to the words, it was true. He had hurt her, he'd made her cry. He'd known her since she was 14 years old, and he'd watched her grow he'd helped to shape her into the person she was. He knew her like no-one else ever would, like no-one ever could. She was always the one who started the arguments, and forced him to argue with her; he was content just to hold her. I'm not what you really need I'm not the one in your dreams I can see it in your eyes This ain't the way you should feel Don't know how we got here Love's no longer blind If that's just how it is Can we go on like this Oh baby, what do you say I'm tired of loving this way, I'm tired of loving this way Spike knew her so well, his heart ached that he had seen what she had tried to shield him from. She hadn't wanted to hurt him, but more and more as she grew older she wondered what it would be like to be loved by a living man, rather than a dead boy. She would always love Spike until the day she died, and if he hadn't been coming back she would have been hurting so much more. She knew in her heart of hearts that he was the one for her, but she also knew that if he hadn't given her this chance she would have always wondered. She never would have left him, but maybe she would have pushed him so far that..... The tears started to fall anew. I'll set your heart free If you're mine you'll come flying back someday But I'm tired of loving this way, I'm tired of loving this way Well I'm taking you with me 'Cause like a room in my heart, you'll have your place But I'm tired of loving this way, I'm tired of loving this way Dawn let the tears fall freely now, she knew they would be the first of many, but she could go on. Spike loved her enough to set her free, he would come back but if she had found happiness he wouldn't stand in her way. She knew that. Just like he knew her better than anyone --- she knew him better than anyone ever could or would. Even more so than Dru. She knew no matter what happened in the 5 years he was gone, just like she lived in his heart, he would always live in hers. Now she knew, she knew that all she ever wanted or needed was Spike. He'd seen in her mind, and he knew the only way for her to choose him forever was for her to know what else there was. He was willing to do that for her, and yet he would come back. Dawn blinked back the tears as she stood and walked to the window, wondering where he was. "Thank you Spike," she whispered into the night, "I love you. I'll see you in five years." Spike's supernatural hearing allowed him to hear her from where he was sitting in the tree watching her. "You're welcome Nibblet," he murmured. "Five years." When Dawn turned away from the window, Spike jumped down and headed for his car. He would be counting every minute until he could come back to her. If she chose the day then he would watch over her at night, and protect her as he always had. If she chose him, he knew he would stand by her until the day she died. Spike reached his car and drove off into the distance, "I'll see you soon, little bit." To be continued.... |