The World's Oldest Man Died - Big Surprise There
The world's oldest man forfeited his title today, by dying. This surprised roughly 4 people in the world, but they were all blind retards. Just look at the guy.
The man came from the province of Kyushu, which is also the hometown of the world's oldest person. Now, if that's not a Love Connection waiting to happen, I don't know what is. It also seems a little suspicious to me. I mean, what's in the water over there? Embalming fluid? I mean, how else would they produe these walking mummies? Lest you forget, have a look at that picture again.
His family noticed he didn't look well after he pounded a glass of apple juice. I would have thought such a startling revelation would have come 15-20 years ago, when he began the metamorphasis into a walking corpse.
Investigators were quick to rule out foul play in an exclusive interview with this heel. "He one handoredo and foruteen yeaasu orudo. He cheat deth rong enaf." What that means, I'll never know.
Please, sign this petition to put this apple juice in all nursing homes.