by Amanda B. Miller
The thesis statement (purple) is straight-forward and presents an supportable opinion!
Notice how the author introduces all of her topics in her introduction in the order they will appear in her paper! The color coding is used to illustrate this. Then, each paragraph sticks to that main topic!
The author needs a topic sentence for this paragraph on cost. What would you write?
"Ridiculous" is an harsh, unsupportable opinion word here. The author would do better to leave it out.
An excellent conclusion ties together all the topics and has a call-to-action telling the reader what to do to improve the situation.
Overall, an excellent essay!
When a person purchases a compact disk, he also purchases the rights to use that compact disk for his own personal use. The music industry has started to issue fines for those people who download massive amounts of music. It is legal for a person to burn a copy of a compact disk for his own, personal use (ex. A copy for his house and a copy for his vehicle). It is not legal for a person to buy one compact disk, burn twenty copies, and sell the compact disks to all of his friends. A person is breaking the law if he does these things.
The music industry has four main parts. The first being the artist, the second is the music label, the third is the wholesaler, and the fourth is the retailer. Every time a person burns a compact disk, everyone in the music indeustry is affected. In approximately three years music will not be released the same way it is now. You will have to pay approximately one-hundred dollars to go to a concert. There will be no more music stores if this continues!
Most people say they do not buy compact disks because they are too expensive. If a person really thinks about it, the price of compact disks began to go up when people started to burn compact disks. the artist has to make money. If the artist is not selling as many compact disks, the music label will raise the price of a compact disk to still make a profit. Many people do not buy music anymore! It is ridiculous that that many people do not have real compact disks anymore! A person should really think before he burns a compact disk!
A person really should not burn compact disks. If this continues, there will be much less music released to the public. Every time someone burns a compact disk he is helping to destroy the music industry, one compact disk at a time! Do not burn compact disks! Buy compact disks!
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