| Serious Fashion |
| Stuckup Snobbe Editor-in-Chief Boil Anger is the sexiest singer out today, and she always looks cutting-edge with her strong fashion sense. There've been rumors about her hooking up with Nick Carter. But as of yet, no divorce papers have been filed by either her or her husband. Sure, people want to know details. But we want to start with the most important stuff first. SF: What brand names do you wear? BA: Anything from Sam's Club and Target. Sometimes, I buy clothes at Meijer, Old Navy, or even Wal-Mart if I get a hair up my ass and travel to Brownsburg. SF: Why don't you shop at department stores? BA: I want to save money. Besides, the closest department stores are in the ghetto and even pro-athletes get carjacked there. I'll stick to the suburbs. SF: But now can you shop at discount stores? That's almost as bad as Goodwill! People will think you're poor. BA: Very easily - I like to save money. Also, my hubby works for Mercedes-Benz, so I just throw on a MB ballcap and everyone assumes I'm rich. It works every time. SF: So your hubby still works? We read that he lives off your millions. BA: Oh, so you read that tabloid? They're so psycho - they even named themselves after my site and the paper that started it all. SF: So you're not behind that paper? We figured you were. BA: Can I get a HELL NO?! Why would I accuse myself of being between two Matts? And they thought I wasn't married in the first issue, and I've been married four years. SF: That's a long time. BA: Not really, considering we said, "Till death do us part." We want to have more kids, so that means we're stuck together. SF: Ok, so back to fashion. Who's your fashion icon? BA: No one - I dress however I damn well please. If people don't like it, they can kiss my god-damn ass. SF: What about P. Diddy? BA: Who? Puff Daddy? He's such a snob. He can kiss my white ass. SF: But he's a lot richer than you. BA: I highly doubt it since people buy my CDs and not his. Also, money isn't everything - it can't buy you class. If I go to a party, I want to wear jeans, not designer labels. If you have to dress in a label and not jeans to get into his party, then I'll throw my own. SF: Oh, really. So do you Indiana Hicks all party in cornfields? BA: Listen here, Bitch! If you'd have done your fucking ass research, you would've learned that I graduated from Indiana University in Bloomington, which is currently ranked the #1 party school in the nation. There were parties all the time, and the weekend started Thrusday or even Wednesday some weeks. I'm a seasoned pro - better than Pimp Daddy or whatever the fuck his name is this year. Besides, it's not Indiana Hick, it's Hoosier Hick. Our mascot for the University and the state is the Hoosiers.We made it to the final game in NCAA basketball last season, so you may have heard of us. SF: I don't watch sports. BA: Sucks to be you! I love watching and playing sports. I was SO happy when Notre Dame beat Maryland in football recently. Maryland beat Indiana in the final b-ball game. SF: I want to address some rumors about you and Nick Carter. Rumor has it you two fucked and your husband walked in during doggie style. BA: No comment. SF: Is Heather's Hot Gossip telling the truth? BA: All I can say is no comment. |
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