Lindsay makes Troy squirm
LINDSAY MAKES TROY SQUIRM (Clearly this one is a repeat because the lines that the actors say at the beginning slightly differ from the ones before.) Nora: To the future? Troy: Future. Lindsay: Oh, what a wonderful toast, now, I don�t think I would have done a better one myself; because after all one doesn�t really know what the future brings.? Nora: Lindsay. Troy: (sighs an annoyed sigh; he has reason to be annoyed if you ask me. Poor them, they never saw it coming.) What are you doing here? Nora: I thought you were away. (Yeah, wouldn�t that be nice?) Lindsay: I was, but I�m back. (*sarcastically* Whoopee) Troy: Good. Now Leave. (You go, boy!) Lindsay: I thought you two might want to know about my trip. (No, not really.) Troy: You see, now THAT�S where you thought wrong, Lindsay. Lindsay: Well, the details of it may be especially interesting to you, Nora. (Freaky evil music goes on. A Nexium commercial plays which leaves us in suspense and throwing bananas on the television screen. Damn Lindsay!) (It comes back after some dumb Antonio-Carlotta scene. This is what happens; looks like it�s getting good.) Nora: No, Lindsay, I really don�t care to hear about your trip to Miami. Lindsay: Miami? Nora: Or wherever it was. Well you said you were going to Miami. Lindsay: Oh, yes. Miami. Nora: You actually told Troy you were moving to Miami. (Bummer, she didn�t go.) Lindsay: (laughs) I forgot that I told you that. Golly, so many things have happened since then; things I didn�t know about people and places and things but I do now. (Clearly not enough to know that Truth Seeker fans don�t want you, durf.) Troy: How long are you going to keep babbling, Lindsay? (Thank you, Troy. You took my words right out of my mouth.) Nora: Are you moving to Miami or not? Lindsay: Well--- Troy: Well what? Lindsay: Well--- actually, I don�t think I will be relocating after all. (Damn! And we had all our hopes up! You could tell they�re also disappointed.) Troy: And why not? Lindsay: Mostly because I found out something big. (And what�s that? That your brain has the I.Q of pea soup?) Really big. (She sits down at their table.) And now, wild horses couldn�t drag me out of Llanview. (How about wild elephants?) (Freaky African flutes play and Nora and Troy stare at her, clearly interested but not wanting to hear anything. Commercials.) (Troy rises from his seat.) Nora: Okay, what is this big thing that you want to tell us? Lindsay: It�s too personal. Troy: So why don�t you keep it to yourself and leave, Lindsay, because Nora and I did not come here to see you. Lindsay: Well, of course. You wanted to have some alone time together. (She rises from her seat and walks over to Troy and starts breathing down his smooth nice neck. Ewww.) Well, the fact of the matter is that it�s probably going to become very public very soon anyway so I might as well lay it on the table and lay the chips fall where they may, right? Nora: Whatever. (My choice of words, too.) Lindsay: You seem kind of blas� about this. Nora: I don�t know what it is I�m not supposed to be blas� about! (Note: blas� is a French expression meaning indifferent for all you guys who don�t understand Lindsay�s idioms.) Lindsay: I don�t think you�re going to be quite so relaxed when you hear what I have to tell you. Nora: Well then why don�t you just tell me? Lindsay: Everyone�s going to have a big reaction to my news, especially you, Nora. Nora: (We all sympathize for you, Nora.) (Nora also rises from her seat.) You know, Lindsay, I�m starting to have a big reaction right now. Will you just please speak your mind? Lindsay: In front of all these people? Troy: Spit it out! Lindsay: Okay, Troy. But don�t say I didn�t warn you. (Again, that cool but freaky music plays and leaves us to a Playtex Gentle Glide commercial. How fun.) Lindsay: I�m not really sure how I�m going to say this so I�m just going to come right out and say it. (At last!) Jen is pregnant. Nora: What? Lindsay: My daughter is pregnant. (Yeah� so?) Nora: (nodding her head) Okay. That�s the big shocking news that you wanted to tell us? Lindsay: You�re not shocked? Nora: No. Surprised? Yes. Shocked? No. Why would I be? Lindsay: Well, Nora, because I know that you have really high standards for people there and when people don�t live up to your standards, you get very upset. You do know that about--- Nora: Wh- where are you getting all this stuff? Lindsay: Come on, Nora. Jen isn�t married. You�re not gonna� stand there and tell me that�s not a problem for you Nora: I- I- no, it�s not--- I want Jen to be happy. I don�t care what she does as long as she�s happy. Lindsay: Right, gosh, yeah, where would I get that? Right. I know that you�ve come to think of Jen as a second daughter, yeah, and you certainly did take good care of her while I was away in prison. (Troy seems more annoyed by the minute) And as a matter of fact I know for a fact that you gave her lots of advice when I was gone. Nora: Oh, I see, okay. So you�re going to blame me for Jen�s pregnancy, is that where all of this is going? Lindsay: Oh, well no, now that would be silly, wouldn�t it? (Uh, yeah? To blame Nora all together for anything is retarded. But you don�t happen to comprehend that, now would you. This woman should really start visiting a better psychiatrist.) Oh, I know we all have to make our best and we all have to lie on some, isn�t that right, Troy? And I�m really grateful that you�re not being judgmental. You�re a very lucky man to have a woman like that. Troy: That�s right Lindsay. I�m lucky, you�re lucky, we�re AAAAAll lucky. Now, are you finished? (He grabs her elbow to move her but she moves away.) Lindsay: Uh, actually, no, there�s one more thing. Since my daughter�s pregnant and I�m going to be staying here to see her through her pregnancy I was just thinking I�m hoping we can all get along, you know. Let bygones be bygones. Nora: (she�s so cute and smart here when she says this.) Hmm. By-gone. Lindsay: Ah, come on, Nora. I know I did some terrible things to you. Nora: Oh, yes, but who would remember? Lindsay: But you also did some terrible things to me, you and Troy. (She points her finger at Nora. Why is she so jolly? I don�t get that.) But why go there? I mean, we wouldn�t want to waste these precious moments on earth, worrying about getting revenge. All those horrible months in prison taught me that. Nora: Good. Lindsay: Besides, what could I possibly do anyway? I mean, even if I wanted to let�s say, oh, I don�t know, break you two up or ruin your relationship, what could I possibly do? (turns to our guilty looking Troy) You couldn�t think of anything now, could you, Troy? (The same cheap African flutes play. Commercials.) Lindsay: Can you think of anything I can do to break you and Nora up, Troy? Troy: No. I can�t. (Nora�s cell-phone rings.) Nora: Oh. Saved by the bell. Lindsay: Nothing comes to mind? (He shakes his head as a �no�. They glare at each other with hatred.) (Nora answers her phone.) Nora: Nora Buchanan. No, don�t talk to--- excuse me. Mild crisis. (She goes to the other corner of the room.) Lindsay: How�s your clinic, Troy? Troy: Don�t� don�t. (he walks from her.) Lindsay: I was just being friendly. Troy: Yeah, well don�t be. Lindsay: I know that you have a hard time believing that I just want bygones to be bygones but I do mean it. Troy: Well, Lindsay, if that�s true, then say good bye and leave. Lindsay: You want me to show you how sincere I am? (Will she just shut up?) I have a work of art at the gallery that I would like to give you. It�s from Africa. (Uh-oh. She just pushed a BAD button.) Actually, it�s from Zambia. That�s where you clinic used to be, isn�t it? (He looks uneasy like he has PMS) Troy: Yes, it is. Lindsay: Yeah. What was the name of your clinic? Uh- you told me once. I just can�t seem to remember. Oh well, it�s not important. You come by the gallery and I�ll give it to you. Troy: No, thank you. I no longer collect African art. I�ve moved on. Lindsay: Have you? Troy: Mm. Lindsay: That�s odd�because I happened to know how much Africa meant to you. (Lindsay finally turns around and leaves to sit at another table and that scene left us with a suspenseful moment where he grinds his jaw in anger at the thought of Africa and his little secret.) (Nora wraps her arms around him.) Nora: Clients. Who needs them, huh? Troy: Yeah. Nora: Hey, you okay? Troy: (closes his eyes) Yeah, Mm, yeah. I�m fine. (he kisses her) Let�s go. (Nora sits at her table and so does he) Nora: Lindsay didn�t say a word more than she should? Troy: Oh, please. With Lindsay one word�s more than she should speak. (They laugh) But no, it�s fine. Lindsay does not exist in my universe. Nora: I wish she didn�t in mine. Troy: Well, all you have to do is ignore her. Nora: I wish she would�ve moved to Miami and got eaten by a shark or a crocodile, or something, you know? Are you buying into these �bygones be bygones� aria of hers? Troy: No, you know what? Lindsay is going to be so busy running her own daughter�s life that she�s not going to have time for us for the next nine months. Nora: Ah� Troy: So you know what? I say you and I take advantage of it. Nora: Oh yeah? Troy: Mm-hmm. Nora: And how do you say we do that? Troy: Well, I have one idea. Nora: What�s that? Troy: I think we should concentrate on us; one kiss at a time. (He gives her a slow kiss.) Lindsay: You kids enjoy all of your happiness now because I�m about to take it all away. (She cups her cheek with her palm and leans on her shoulder on the wood of the table. Episode ends.)
