In Your Shadow

A frantic knock rattled the heavy wooden crypt door in its frame.  Setting aside his bucket of chicken wings, Clem hopped off the couch to answer it, licking his long, floppy fingers as he went.  On the other side of the door stood the slayer�s little sister, her arms crossed against the cold, and a look of the fiercest determination he�d ever seen on her face. 

She entered the crypt without being asked, nearly pushing him out of the way to get inside.  After a brief look around, she whirled on him and through clenched teeth demanded, �Where is he?�

�Well, hello there to you to,� he said, a bit put out at her misplaced hostility. 

�Where�s Spike?�

�Uh, well he�s out,� Clem said, not at liberty to disclose just where his old friend was.

�He�s with *her*, isn�t he?�  The way she bared her teeth made his defensive instincts kick in and he had to concentrate on not dropping his friendly face for the face of his true demon.  He did not really want to scare the girl.  Her rage obviously had nothing to do with him.

�Her?  Who her?  I don�t know what you�re talking about.�  He tried to turn away, hoping she would just leave.

�Buffy!� she screamed.  �Who else?  It�s always Buffy!  Do you know what she�s doing to him?�

Clem�s mouth dropped open involuntarily in horror.  What Buffy was doing to Spike was not something this little girl should know anything about.  Even without the sensibilities of a human, he knew that such things were to be hidden from children.

�How� how do you know what she�s doing to him?  I mean, what do you think she�s doing?�

�What difference does that make? She�s hurting him, using him, and it�s not right!  It�s not fair!  He should have someone that loves him.�  Her voice got quieter as she spoke and the pieces started to fall into place for Clem. 

�Hey, he�s a grown up vampire.  He has a hundred years of experience dealing with the ladies, I�m sure he can handle it.  Don�t worry your pretty head about our buddy Spike.�  He knew that as much as he wished it, it wouldn�t be as simple as that to dismiss her concerns.

�She�s not a lady.  She�s a slayer who can�t feel anything but hate for her life and everyone in it.  He�s so blindly in love with her that he doesn�t even care that she hates him as long as he gets to keep her close enough to pretend it�s something else.  Well, if that�s all it takes for him to be happy, he should be getting it from someone who really does care.� 

Clem�s mind raced, trying to come up with anything that would keep her from continuing down this particular path.

�I�m here to save him.  If he wants love, he can have mine.  I�m actually capable of that emotion, and I feel it.  I feel it for him and I want him to know.  I want to give that to him.�

Inching towards the door, hoping to give the girl a hint, Clem said, �Uh, I don�t think that�s a good idea.  Telling him any of that, I mean.  Spike hasn�t been himself lately.  You probably shouldn�t be here when he gets back.�

He reached for the door and held it open, gesturing with his head for her to exit, making his ears flap in the breeze blowing in from the cemetery beyond.

Dawn frowned at him and stood her ground.  �What are you talking about?  I know what�s wrong with him!  It�s Buffy!  I�m going to stay right here and talk some sense into him when he gets back.�

Clem shrugged and shut the door.  Benevolent demon he might be, but he was only willing to go so far out of his way to save innocents, and picking the girl up and dragging her home was not within his limits.  Slumping back down on the couch, he said, �Well, have a seat if you want to stay.  They�re showing Star Wars Episode IV on TV.  This is the one with that alien bar that has all those guys that look weirder than me.� 

Dawn finally uncrossed her arms and came to sit on the arm of the couch, keeping her posture defensive and her eyes fixed on the door.  �Chicken wing?�  Clem offered, holding out the bucket.

�Um, no thanks,� she said, leaning back away from the greasy snacks. 

Clem turned back to the movie, secretly pleased that he didn�t have to share.  He loved the Star Wars movies more than any others and quickly became engrossed in the plot to the exclusion of all else.  Until the tapping started.  The toe of Dawn�s designer clog connected repeatedly with the stone floor of the crypt as she channeled all of her pent up frustration into her tapping foot, resulting in a drilling rhythm that was hell on Clem�s overly-sensitive ears.  He turned his red eyes on her.  �Could ya not do that?�

She looked at him, glared at him, actually.  �Do what?�

He waved a hot sauce coated hand at her shoe.  �That!  That noise!  It�s driving me nuts!  Why don�t you just go home and come back later?�

Before she had a chance to spit a retort at him, the door crashed open, admitting an angry vampire, who strode into the crypt and went right by them without even acknowledging their existence. 

Dawn immediately jumped to her feet.  �Spike!� She gave him a nervous, hopeful smile, but it was greeted by the back of his head.  He did not turn or speak to her, he only continued on his way to the area he used as a bedroom.  Her smile fell and she turned to look at Clem, who gave her an I-told-you-so shrug before picking up another wing and returning to his movie as though Spike storming through the place was an everyday occurrence.

Spike tossed several inconsequential items out of his way, searching for something that eluded him.  Dawn hesitated by the couch, watching him.  Finally, he held up a set of keys, and whirled around to go back out the way he came.  That�s when he noticed that he was not alone.  �Dawn, what are you doing here?  Go home.�

�What?  Why?  You never minded me hanging out here before.�

�Yeah, well.  That was before.  Things are different now.  I�ve got to go away for awhile and it won�t be safe for you when I get back.�

�But ��

�I said, Go!� 

�What�s going on Spike?  I wanted to talk to you.  I thought we could � �

�No.  I�m leaving and so are you.  I can�t go on like this, I�m not me and I hate it.�  He took a few steps closer to her.  �If this goes the way I plan it, next time you see me, you won�t want to stick around.�  He leaned in and sniffed her neck, then pulled back and raised his eyebrow.  �Unless you want to be my little Nibblet for real.�

He turned to go, leaving her to stand there in shock.  She found her voice at the last moment as he reached the door, �Spike!  Wait!�  But he didn�t.  Dawn and Clem heard the engine of his motorcycle roar to life, and then the sound of it fade out as he rode away to his mysterious destination. 

Clem wiped his hands on the couch and got up to stand next to Dawn.  When the shock of being so utterly rejected wore off and she turned away from the door in tears, he was there and he held out his droopy arms for her.  Wordlessly, she collapsed against him and sobbed against his shoulder, her tears dripping down the folds of his skin.  He patted her back awkwardly, knowing what was expected of him only from movies he�d seen, but never having put it into practice before. 

After a few minutes, she pulled back and stepped away, looking up at him with a strange expression, and trying to catch her breath.  �What�s wrong?�  He asked.

�It�s just� I never hugged a demon before.  I didn�t know it would be so� squishy.�  With all the extra skin on his face, judging whether he took offense was difficult.  �I mean, it was good, and� and comforting, just I never thought I�d do that, you know, being the slayer�s sister and all.�  She giggled nervously and smiled at him.

He smiled back.  �Hey, I understand.  I never hugged a human before either.  It was��  He glanced at his shoulder and back at her, �damp,� he finished. 

�Yeah, sorry about that.  I know I�m probably overacting.  It�s not like I really thought I had a chance with Spike.  But to see him like that� do you know where he�s going?�

Clem shook his head, accidentally hitting himself in the eye with his own ear.  �No, but I�d take his advice and stay away, if I were you.  He�s been wanting to snack on your friends for a good long time and if he finds away to do it, well, you�re screwed.�

�Do you think� can he really do that?�

�I don�t know.  But it�s Spike, and he�s pretty stubborn, so if there�s a way, he�ll find it.�

Dawn dropped her head and squeezed her eyes shut to stop the new tears that wanted to come out.  �I just thought, well, I guess I thought he cared, you know?  He didn�t have to love me, but until tonight, he seemed to at least like me a little.  Now I know it was all an act.  For Buffy.�

�No, you can�t think like that.  He did care about you, I know he did.  He�s just screwed up in the head right now, and it�s not that chip that did it.  No offense kid, but that sister of yours has put him through hell, you were right about that.  I don�t know what�s going to happen when he comes back, but you might want to warn her to watch out for him.�

Dawn looked up at him and he saw the surprise on his face.  �I know, I know, here I am a demon warning the slayer about another demon, but hey, Spike can take care of himself and Buffy could�ve killed me a bunch of times, but she didn�t.  So, she�s cool in my book.  If I can help her out with a little heads up, I�ll do it.�

Clem glanced back at the TV, only to see the credits rolling, then looked back at the distraught human in front of him and made a decision.  �Hey, you know I hear that when kids like you are stressed they forget to eat.  That�s not just some Hollywood story is it?  When was the last time you had a meal?�  Dawn couldn�t remember.  �Thought so.  Well, tell you what?  Since you just had to deal with all that stuff with Spike, I�ll take you out, my treat.  I know this place that makes the best grilled cheese sandwiches on sourdough.  It�s not kittens, but it�s good comfort food.  What do ya say?�

She looked at him, stunned for a moment, and then nodded.  �Sure.  Why not?�

�Great!�  He pushed the button to turn off the TV, then held the door for her.  This time, she went out and he followed right behind her.  As soon as they were out the door, a bright flash went off and they heard a voice.

�Did you get it?�  The voice asked.

�Yeah!  That was a great shot!  A real demon!�  Another voice replied.

�Aww, but it�s not the one that looks like Billy Idol,� complained the first voice.

�Maybe he�s at another cemetery, let�s go find him,� suggested the second voice.

When they were gone, Dawn looked at Clem incredulously.  �Who were they?�

Clem shrugged, �Supernatural tourists.  Spike�s crypt got on a brochure somewhere and now it�s almost impossible to get a decent day�s sleep.�

�Aren�t you worried that they know what you are?�  She asked, following him through the maze of headstones.

�Nah.  I�m not the one they usually look for.  They come for the sexy vampires, and then if I happen to be around, it�s just a bonus.  Most of them have never heard of demons like me.  Vampires, they have it rough.  All those movies and books about them, everyone knows everything about them and how to kill them.  Sometimes it�s better not to be too famous.  Safer anyway.�

�Sounds like me,� she said.

�What�s that?�

� I�m one of them.  I came to the crypt to see Spike, and then you were there, so that was just a bonus, right?  That�s what you think I did.�

�No.  Hey, that�s not what I was saying!  You know Spike.  It�s different.�

�But now I know you, too.�

�I suppose,� he allowed.

�Well, I�m just saying� now I know you, and you seem really nice, and I would go somewhere just to see you even if Spike wasn�t there.�

He looked at her, touched more than he cared to admit.  �Yeah?  You�d to that?�

�Sure!  And I think that any supernatural tour guide that doesn�t have you in it is just totally useless.  Vampires, they�re a dime a dozen.  You�re unique.  Special.  I think more people should appreciate that.�

Clem turned away before she could see a tear in his red eye.  �That�s nice, Dawn.  Thanks.�

A few minutes later, they arrived at a small diner that advertised 24 hour service.  �Here we are.  I know it doesn�t look like much, but I�m telling you, this sandwich they make is so good that I call it THE sandwich.  You�ll never find one like it.  And they get some real interesting people in here too.�

Once again, he held the door for her, and as she walked in front of him, he smiled and thought that, for once, it was nice to feel like he wasn�t living in Spike�s shadow.