Willow had never been so happy and guilty at the same time.  By saving her life, Spike had given up his own chance for a new life, not to mention that she felt all of Fred�s hard work had gone to waste.  None of them would hear of her considering it a waste that she was still alive, but she felt guilty anyway.  In one instant she�d been brought back from the brink of death and been given the gift of Angel�s love, finally unveiled.  She couldn�t bear to think of what her good fortune had cost her friends.

In their apartment, Willow and Angel sat side-by-side on the couch, holding hands, discussing the night�s events. 

�When I thought I�d lost you, I felt like I was the one who couldn�t breathe,� Angel told her.  �Then when I saw that you were free, and still alive, I knew I couldn�t go on pretending I didn�t have these feelings for you.�

�I�m glad I know.  I just wish I�d known before.  I love you, Angel.  I was afraid to admit it because I didn�t think you could feel that way about someone like me.  I thought you just liked having me around for company.�

�Nah, I was always more of a loner.  Until now.�  He looked at her smiling face and kissed her again, softly this time, and not for as long, but still passionately.

When they broke apart she looked at him for a moment, then stared at the floor.  �I�m a little scared you know.  I think we ought to be careful.�

Angel placed a hand under her chin and turned her head to face him again.  �Willow, what are you worried about?  I�m not going to leave you, or, oh� him.  Well, we don�t have to do that, you know, if you�re worried about the soul leaving and Angelus coming back.�

She shook her head and then nodded.  �No, it�s not that.  Well, not only that.  It�s just, last time I cared about someone this much, it didn�t turn out so well.  In fact, I�d say that between the murder and apocalypse, it couldn�t have turned out much worse.  Last time I told someone I loved them, I ended up evil!�

Angel cleared his throat.  �Hmm, yeah, same here.  What do you think we should do?�

�We need to take this slow,� Willow said, resolve face appearing.  �We�ve both worked too hard to redeem ourselves to let this destroy us.  I don�t know if we�re soul mates and I don�t know if you�ll ever be happy enough with me to be in any danger, but I want to know for sure before we, well, you know.  I do know that if anything happened to you this city would be in cinders before my first tear fell.  That�s not a good thing.�

�Willow�� he tried to calm her, but she was having none of it.

�No, Angel, I mean it.  I want us to be together too, but not at the expense of others.  We�ll do research, we�ll use all the resources we have to find a way to make this safe, but until then, slow and steady is the way.�

He nodded.  �All right.  You know I don�t want to hurt you.  I love you, Willow .�  She smiled and he kissed her again.  He rose and pulled her from the couch, �We should say goodnight now, it�s late.�  They walked to her bedroom door and he wrapped her in his arms, placing kiss after kiss on her upturned face.  Their bodies were pressed full against each other and after a few moments, Willow could tell that she�d better make a quick exit. 

Ducking out of his embrace, she said, �Goodnight, Angel,� and slipped into her room.  For a long time, she lay awake, staring at the ceiling, her body flushed and warm with desire.  This was not going to be easy.  She would at least have to buy him a robe for the mornings.  That towel wasn�t going to cut it anymore.  She couldn�t bear to see how his skin pulled so tight over the muscles on his back and his chest, skin that she wanted to dig her fingernails into as he�. �ok so not helping,� she scolded her overactive imagination.  She rolled over and squeezed her eyes shut, determined to sleep. 

The next morning, she stayed in bed for a few minutes after she heard the shower go off, long enough to give Angel time to dress.  When she finally did enter the bathroom, the mirror wasn�t foggy, and as she touched one of the knobs in the tub, she quickly pulled her hand away and wondered why it should be freezing like that.  Then it came to her.  Angel had taken a cold shower.  Sighing, she reached for the knob again and turned the cold water on for herself, wondering how long they could keep this up.

~~

�Is this normal?�  Willow asked Angel as they came in through the expansive lobby of Wolfram & Hart together to start what should have been a regular Monday at the office.

He turned to her. �Not since I�ve been here.�  Calling out to Lorne, who was passing by, Angel asked, �Why does it look like someone�s having a party in here?�

Willow watched in amusement while Lorne explained the tradition of the Halloween party to Angel, whose face became more and more tightly drawn as the story unfolded.  Willow thought his lips would be sucked right into his face if he pressed them together any harder.

When the green demon had flitted off to attend to some minor detail, Angel turned back to Willow, rubbing his forehead vigorously.  �Being the CEO, you�d think someone would clear these things with me first, but no, not here.  I�m always the last to know what�s going on.�

Willow wisely kept it to herself that she�d know about the party for a week.  It was the talk of the building and she had no idea how Angel had missed it.   On their way over to the conference room for a staff meeting, he bounced ideas off her about how he might get out of throwing the party.

�Just go with it, Angel.  How bad could it be?  Who knows, you might even have fun!�

He looked at her as though she had suggested a bath in holy water might be fun.  �I don�t know how you keep up that positive attitude.  What could possibly be fun about a bunch of demons getting drunk and dancing to loud music?�

Willow giggled, picturing a few demons of her personal acquaintance drunk and dancing.  �Well, if you want to learn any moves, I�ll be your teacher.�

He looked at her and raised a sexy eyebrow, a smile tugging on one corner of his mouth.

Willow�s face turned serious and she stopped laughing.  �Dance moves,� she clarified.  �I can teach you dance moves, those kind.  I�m sure as far as other moves, you have lots more and way more practice and don�t need any teacher much less me, she of few moves.  In fact, I think mrufhl��

Angel snaked one arm around her waist and covered her mouth with the opposite hand.  He leaned into her ear and whispered, �Willow, you�re babbling.  I know what you meant, you don�t have to get flustered just for me.�  He released her and she blushed.

Angel watched with a smirk as Willow shuffled over to her seat at the long polished wooden table, blush slowly fading to a pretty pale pink. 

With Angel busy worrying about the party, Willow thought this week would be the perfect time to do more research on Eve and her vile plots.  She had managed to avoid being alone with Eve since their quality time in the elevator, but she suspected she�d soon want an answer about the enhancements.  Hopefully she would also be occupied with the party, buying Willow a little more time.

Back in her office, Willow pulled up Eve�s employee profile again, scooting her chair in closer to the monitor and squinting at the text, trying to find any little detail she might have missed.  She hated still being on square one with her investigation, but square two just hadn�t presented itself.

�Whatcha doing?� 

Emitting a high pitched �Eeep!� Willow spun her chair around to see Spike standing behind her, reading over her shoulder. 

�Aw, don�t get your little heart all aflutter on my account, Love.�  He gave her innocent puppy dog eyes that did not match the smirk on his lips. 

Willing her heartbeat to return to normal, Willow fixed Spike with the glare she reserved just for him.  Though she was grateful enough to him for saving her, he was still the same old Spike that knew just how to get under her skin when he wanted to.  �Now what do you want?� She demanded.  She had learned some time ago that having a private office did not preclude regular visits from the resident ghost.  Since Angel had refused to give him an office, he availed himself of everyone else�s whenever he so chose.  Usually she didn�t mind, but today she was feeling defensive at his discovery of her snooping.

�Now, now, let�s not get testy.  I just came in here to get out of the way.  There�s so many bodies out there scampering up and down the halls, I keep getting run right through.  It�s disconcerting is all.  So then, why are we reading up on Miss High and Mighty?�

She narrowed her eyes at him. �You really want to know?�

�Got nothing better to do.�

�Promise you won�t tell Angel?�

�Oh, keeping secrets from Peaches now, are we?  Count me in!�  He came around her desk and settled into one of the green upholstery chairs, waiting for her to begin.

Willow spilled the beans on everything from how she suspected Eve was out to seduce Angel, to the feeling she wasn�t human, to their conversation in the elevator.  She admitted that the only thing she had on her so far was the lack of student record at UC Santa Cruz, then stopped abruptly, realizing she�d just confessed to her illegal hacking for personal reasons on company time.

Spike took no notice, frowning and sucking on his lower lip, deep in thought.  �Well, all I can tell you is that I can hear her heartbeat, so she�s not a vampire.�  Willow didn�t find this particularly helpful.  �I saw what you did in Sunnydale.  Saw all those little girls turn to slayers before my eyes, a scary sight for my kind.  It�s no big shock they�d want your power, but for what I don�t know.  You�re right about Angel, he�s no help.�

�Why do you say that?� Willow asked, frowning.

�He�s a man!  Not that I�m not, mind, but I can see a little deeper than him sometimes.  He looks at that Eve and all he sees is a delicate little flower growing in a field of rubbish.  Sure, she might rub him the wrong way about the business, but when you take that away, you just have a man looking at a woman.  He won�t see the threat until it bites him on the ass.�

Feeling a bit of jealous bile rise to the back of her throat, Willow swallowed hard and asked, �And what do you see when you look at her?�

�Me?  I see a conniving little bitch!  So, what are you and me going to do about it?�

Willow was surprised at this offer of assistance.  �Well, what do you suggest?  I�ve tried everything I can think of to figure out what she�s up to.�

�Hmm, I can follow her around for awhile, for starters.  She won�t see me if I don�t want her to.  I can see if she does anything unusual, talks to anyone suspicious.  I�ll report back to you tomorrow.�

�Wow, thanks Spike, that would be really nice of you.�

�Don�t mention it.  And I mean that.�  Then he was gone leaving Willow to wonder why he was so eager to help her.  She realized that, not unlike herself, Spike had lately been lacking a purpose and she had just given him one, however small.  Pleased with her new ally, Willow shut down the employee system and pulled out a case file to do some real work. 

~~

Still shivering from yet another cold shower, necessitated by the previous evening�s make out session on the couch with Angel, Willow let herself into her office only to find it already occupied.  She quickly shut the door behind her and hurried over to Spike who was pacing in front of her desk, not even noticing as he passed back and forth through the chairs.  �Did you find something?� She whispered.

�You bet I did.  I�ve been waiting for you all morning, what took you so long?�  He stopped pacing and faced her, arms crossed over his chest. 

�Never mind, what did you find out?�  Now it was Willow�s turn to look impatient. 

�Right, well I followed our precious little lady all damn day and she didn�t do a bloody thing out of the ordinary.�  He paused for effect.

Willow made a motion for him to go on.  That clearly wasn�t what he�d been waiting all morning to tell her.  �So I followed her home.  Nice little flat she�s got, but it didn�t smell right.  Took me a while to figure out why.  Went in the kitchen, stuck my head in the ice box, and it was empty!  Not a bite to eat in the whole place.  Not so much as a salt shaker.�

Willow frowned at this revelation, flopping down on her loveseat to think it over.  �Maybe she just likes to eat out,� she ventured. 

Spike shook his head. �There�s more.  After she turned in, I spied on her for a bit and that�s when I realized I couldn�t hear her heartbeat anymore.  When I moved in for a closer look, she wasn�t breathing either.  But she�s not dead,� he added.  �I saw her this morning downstairs and she�s walking about just as alive as you please, heartbeat and all.�

Willow looked at him skeptically. �Are you sure?� She asked.  �Maybe she�s just a quiet sleeper.�

Spike threw up his hands and started to walk away. �Fine!  Believe what you want.  Vampire ears don�t lie.�  He stalked off towards the door but Willow called him back.

�I believe you, Spike.  I don�t know what to think of all this, but I believe you.  Have you ever seen anything like this before?�

�Never.  It�s beyond me what she is.  It�s like her heart only beats when I�m expecting it to.  I know being around me has an effect on some girls, but I can�t take the credit for this.�  He smirked at her a little, and then turned serious again.  �I�ll keep an eye on her again today, see if she actually eats.  I don�t suppose your years of fighting the nasties of Sunnydale ever turned up a demon with a part-time heartbeat?�

Willow shook her head.  �No, can�t say it did.  I�ll research it though, for sure.  This is a huge lead, Spike.  I can�t tell you what a big help it is to have you on my side in this.�

Spike held up a hand to quiet her.  �Hold on, now.  I�m on MY side.  If this, whatever she is, is plotting something against Angel, that affect yours truly, too.  So, don�t get it in your pretty head that I�ve suddenly become your personal PI.  Got it?�

�Right Spike, of course.  I just wanted you to know I�m grateful for your help.  Your motives don�t matter to me.�

�Alright then, so long as we�re clear.  Best be getting on with it.�  With a sweep of his coat, he was gone through the door, leaving Willow smiling after him. 

After spending the entire day immersed in demonology texts, Willow�s suspicions were confirmed.  There was no such thing as a demon that didn�t breathe or have a heartbeat while sleeping, and never ate.  Willow slammed the last book shut in frustration.  If Eve wasn�t human, wasn�t a demon, and surely wasn�t a god, they just weren�t that subtle, what did that leave?  Nothing.  That was the answer she kept arriving at.  Eve was nothing.

Over the next few days, Spike�s reports only added to the confusion.  He hadn�t seen her eat anything at all or use the bathroom, though she frequently entered the ladies room to fix her hair and makeup.  He also discovered that her heartbeat and breathing ceased as soon as she left the office building.  However, they quickly resumed the few times she�d been forced to interact with someone between the office and her apartment, such as a tourist asking for directions. 

Willow told Spike to take a break from his sleuthing.  There was nothing more they could do until she made a move.  In spite of all they knew, they were getting nowhere.  Whatever Eve was, she was beyond their comprehension.  Spike was aggravated that there was nothing to do but wait.  With the purpose of his existence put on hold, he resumed his favorite pastime of annoying Angel at all the worst moments. 

Angel seemed to have no shortage of worst moments with the Halloween party coming the following evening.  Willow had never seen him in such a short temper and she did her best to stay out of his way.  Finding Fred in the lab, she discovered that no one was immune to party fever.  Soon the two women were inhaling as much helium from the giant green tanks as they were using to blow up the balloons that floated lazily around their heads.

Hours later and giddy from the lack of oxygen, Willow took another hit off the tank and declared in a high squeaky voice, �We�re the chipmunks!�

Giggling uncontrollably, Fred sucked a breath from a balloon she held pinched between her thumb and forefinger, and responded in an equally high, squeaky voice, �Alvin, Simon, Theodore!� 

Willow grinned at Fred and then grabbed another balloon.  Untying it, she inhaled its contents and squeaked out as much of the silly song as she could in one breath.

Fred broke up again and then stopped abruptly, staring wide-eyed at something behind Willow.  Whirling around, Willow found herself facing Angel, who was standing in the doorway, looking at them with one of his unreadable expressions.  �Hi Angel,� she said, voice still a few octaves to high.  She cleared her throat and tried again. �Hi Angel.�  This time it came out right.

He finally smiled and came towards her, batting a few balloons out of his path.  �I came to see if I could take you to dinner.  You know, to make up for being a little unpleasant today.�

Willow bit the insides of her cheeks to keep from laughing at his understatement.  �Sure, that would be great.  See you tomorrow, Fred.�  Fred waved goodbye to the couple, not yet trusting her voice. 

Settling into a corner booth at their favorite Italian restaurant, Campagnola Trattoria, they ordered a bottle of red wine and started to relax a little.  After staring out the window at the dark street for a few minutes, Angel turned back to Willow and reached across the table to take her hand.

�I�m sorry I�ve been so cranky lately.  It�s just this party.  I can�t believe I agreed to entertain half the demon population of LA in my building tomorrow.�

�I know, it is kind of scary when you put it like that.  Just try not to think of them as demons.  Tomorrow, they�re just like anyone else looking for a good time.  Besides, I�ve seen the security system you set up.  They�d have to be crazy to start anything.�

Angel smiled in spite of himself.  �Well yeah, I guess it is pretty good.  Did you see the poison sniffing demon dogs in the basement?  They just came in this afternoon.�

Willow just shook her head at him in disbelief.  �Did anyone ever tell you that you have some serious trust issues?�

He shrugged.  �I trust you.�

Now Willow smiled.  �Well, that�s a start.�

�I want you to be able to trust me, too.  That�s why I brought you this.�  He reached into a pocket of his coat and brought out a small lumpy package, passing it over the table to Willow.

She accepted it gently with both hands and unwrapped it carefully.  When she saw what she held, she sucked in her breath.  �An Orb of Thesulah!� 

Angel nodded.  �Wesley, Gunn, Fred, and Lorne all have one, too.  Put it in a safe place and don�t tell me where.� 

Willow frowned. �Angel, what�s this all about?�

�I told you, I want you to be able to trust me.  I want us to be together, but if something goes wrong, we can�t risk letting Angelus loose in LA.  Between the five of you, someone should be able to perform the curse before things got out of hand.  But it won�t come to that.�

�What makes you so sure?  It�s happened before, and I like to think that with me, well, never mind.  The point is, it has happened.�

Almost under his breath, Angel muttered, �I sang for Lorne.�

�You what?  Why?�

�I sang for Lorne and he could see that it�s impossible for me now.  I can�t ever achieve a moment of perfect happiness.  Too much has happened, some stuff you know about and some you don�t, but all that matters is that I�m safe now.  Maybe sometime in the distant future I won�t be, if time really does heal all wounds, and that�s what the orbs are for, but for now, you don�t have to worry about Angelus.�

�Angel!  That�s wonderful!�  She got up and went around to his side of the table to hug him.  He embraced her and kissed her until she pulled away, a concerned look crossing her face.  �Well, wait, no that�s not wonderful.  That�s terrible!  Your life is really so awful that you can never achieve perfect happiness?  That�s so sad, I mean, how can you live with yourself?  What happened?�

�Shh, Willow.�  He kissed her again.  �I said that doesn�t matter now.  You do make me happy and if there�s just one spot in my heart that stays dark, that you can�t reach with your light, so much the better for us.�  A longer kiss followed, the two of them oblivious to the variety of looks they drew from the restaurant�s other patrons, some indulgent, some disgusted.

When they parted Willow looked concerned again.  �I guess that just leaves me.  I want to be with you so much, but I know if we were that close, I would lose myself in you, and if anything happened, well, let�s just say Xander is kind of far away to come save the day with a crayon story.�

Angel nodded his understanding and Willow returned to her own seat.  �I�ve been looking into it though.  There�s got to be a way to bind my power, some spell.  I just can�t find one that makes the binding conditional on another person.  I know I�ll find it, I can tell that I�m getting closer.�

Smiling at her, though with a hint of wistfulness in his voice, Angel said, �Take your time.  I�m not going anywhere.� 

Willow finished her pasta, excited to know that there was a real possibility that she could have a romantic relationship with Angel without one of them destroying the world.  She had honestly been more concerned about unleashing Angelus than her own evil.  With that out of the way, it was only a matter of time before she learned of a spell to eliminate the threat of Dark Willow.

~~

Music thumped and pulsated in Willow�s head as she pulled Angel away from greeting the latest arrivals to the much-anticipated Halloween Bash.  �Come on.  I wanna dance!�

Angel resisted the tug on his hand, �Willow, I don�t dance.�

�Sure ya do!  There�s nothing to it.  Just press your body up against mine and move your hips.�

Angel swallowed hard, dragging his eyes down his girlfriend�s body, which was wrapped in a tight, black cocktail dress.  By the time his eyes made their way back to her face, his feet were already moving with her towards the dance floor, unable to resist her command. 

The disco ball spun over their heads bathing them in intermittent flashes of red and blue lights.  Willow stood in front of Angel with her back to him and began to sway to the beat, brushing against him lightly.  When he just stood there, she reached back and took his hands, placing them on her hips with her own hands covering them.  His arms now moved with the sway of her body, but he remained stock still.  Willow pressed herself back into him and put her hands on his hips, encouraging them to move in time with hers. 

At last she felt him make his first hesitant movements against her.  She bent her knees deeper as she moved back and forth, always keeping her back tight to his front.  He followed her movements and was soon into the rhythm, needing no further prodding to keep up.  He slid his hands down her hips and back up her body, slowly, deliberately, in sync with the beat. 

Willow raised her arms over her head and Angel slipped one arm around her waist pulling her tighter to him, while the other hand continued to stroke up and down her side.  She could feel that her close proximity had aroused him so she turned to face him, putting her arms around his neck and drawing his head down to her level.  �I thought you didn�t like to dance,� she whispered in his ear.

�Well, I never danced with you before.  I think I might have to change my position on that.�  He grinned at her and then gave her a light kiss on the mouth, putting his arms around her.  They were still moving rhythmically, though neither was aware of the music any longer.  Angel brushed back Willow�s hair and placed soft kisses around her ear and down her neck while her fingers trailed up and down his back. 

Eventually they realized that the song had ended and the new arrivals to the party were being announced.  They ceased their affections reluctantly, looking up to see who was coming in.  Angel recognized the newcomer as an important guest and excused himself from Willow, though she could see his turmoil in leaving her sight.  She smiled happily at his retreating form and contented herself with dancing to the next song with Spike, who seemed to be in the rarest of good moods. 

They danced with a euphoric energy, though without touching each other, of course.  Spike teased her gently about Angel and she laughed, blushing lightly.  After a few dances with the tireless ghost, they were approached by a stumbling Fred and Wesley who asked with slurred words and more than a few giggles, if they�d seen Lorne.  A moment later, Gunn joined them, followed by the sought-after green demon. 

Willow listened with great interest as each described their strange behavior and attributed it to Lorne, Spike chiming in with his own suspicions about his new and improved attitude.  She agreed that they�d better find Angel and get it all straightened out.  The six of them headed towards his office, where he was last reported to be.  Entering the darkened room, Willow saw no one at first, but then heard a muffled sound from behind the couch. 

�Angel, are you in here?� Fred called out.  In response, two heads appeared, looking out over the back of the couch at the six intruders.  Seeing Willow, Angel stood up quickly, grabbing a cushion off the couch to cover his nudity. 

�Angel!  Wrong one, you ponce!� Spike yelled at him, even while he grinned uncontrollably. 

�Oh, no!  Willow , it�s got to be Lorne�s spell.  I�m sure he didn�t mean�� Gunn turned to comfort the redhead, only to find that she was already gone.

At the sight in Angel�s office, Willow had frozen for the space of a heartbeat, disbelieving her own eyes until she saw her boyfriend rise naked from the floor where her enemy sat, still covered in the sweaty sheen of their activities.  As soon as he stood up, reality crashed down upon her and she fled the room, making her way blindly to her own office.  Reaching this sanctuary, she slammed and locked the door before throwing herself down on the loveseat and sobbing her heart out. 

How could he do this to her!  She finally opened her heart, and he stomped on it.  She should have expected as much.  Isn�t that why she had so readily accepted Tara ?  Because she had learned that men couldn�t be trusted?  It was her own fault for forgetting that lesson.  It was over for her and Angel.  She had waited so long and tried to be so careful to build their relationship safely and he had thrown all that out the window the second the opportunity presented itself.  How stupid she was!  Well, that was done.  She wouldn�t make any more mistakes. 

Getting up, she tried her best to wipe off her face and then went to the door, pressing her ear to it.  She couldn�t tell if anyone was in the hall over the throb of the music, so she opened the door a crack and peeked out.  Empty space greeted her.  He hadn�t even tried to come after her.  Her angry thoughts produced another sob, which she choked back with considerable effort.  Slipping from her office, Willow made her way to the elevator without being seen. 

Up in the penthouse she threw together an overnight bag and took a taxi to the nearest motel where she checked in under a phony name.  She would go back for the rest of her things in a few days when she had found an apartment.  She was sure finding one would be much easier without Angel around.  Everything would be much easier without Angel around, she told herself.  Now if only she believed that. 

~~

Saturday dawned bright and cool, the unusual amount of sun in the room waking Willow from a deep sleep. Her first thought was a sudden panic that she hadn�t closed the curtains. What if Angel came in? He could get hurt!

Attempting to swing her legs off the side of the bed, Willow encountered yet more bed. That�s when she remembered where she was. This was a motel room with a king sized bed, wide open windows, and no chance that her boyfriend, no, make that ex-boyfriend, was going to come in and get himself singed.

An unbidden idea entered her mind that maybe a little scorching would be well deserved, but she quickly pushed it aside. She refused to succumb to bitterness and despair. That road led to places she didn�t want to go. She knew she could get over it. After all, she had lots of practice mending her heart, thanks to its tendency to get broken. Repeatedly. No, she would not sit around and feel sorry for herself. She would be action girl. The first action would be to move into her own place. She needed to put some space between herself and Angel. That way, she would be less likely to kill him.

After a shower and the world�s worst cup of coffee from one of those little machines they have in all the motel rooms, Willow was feeling more herself. Today would be the day she reclaimed her independence. So thinking, she pawed through her bag only to realize she�d left her contact list of apartment managers at the office. She had stuffed them in a drawer after Angel had convinced her to stay with him and hadn�t been thinking clearly enough the night before to grab them on her way out.

Resigning herself to a trip into work on a Saturday, Willow headed out, stopping at the front desk to extend her reservation for a few more nights. She didn�t want to stay in the motel any longer than necessary, but she knew that moving took time.

The offices of Wolfram & Hart were eerily quiet and deserted. Willow recalled that several of their high powered attorneys often worked on weekends. The Halloween party must�ve turned out to be quite the event if everyone was still home recovering. Willow noticed a few bizarre stains on the walls and some missing pieces of furniture, which served to reinforce her theory that she had definitely left before the party really got started.

Shaking her head, she made her way up to her office and located her list. Looking it over, she remembered the nice little first floor apartment she�d toured. There wasn�t much chance it was still available, but it couldn�t hurt to try. She dialed the number for the woman who had patiently shown her around the apartment so long ago. As she feared, it was already rented. However, there was a similar apartment on the next street over that was available, would Willow be interested in a showing? She certainly would and yes 1 pm was great for her.

Pleased with her progress, Willow decided to treat herself to brunch. She had a couple of hours to kill and her stomach was painfully reminding her that one awful cup of coffee did not a decent meal make.

On her way back to the elevator, she passed Angel�s office and paused in front of the door, assaulted by the painful memories of the previous evening. Unsure of what she was doing, she found herself opening the door and going through into the room where her life had come apart. Her feet drifted her over to the couch where a cushion still sat askew and the rug still bore a dent from where the leg of the couch had been shifted from its usual location.

She walked around behind the sofa, mindlessly straightening the cushion as she went. Looking down at the spot where Angel had stood, naked and guilty, Willow was overcome by her heartache and sank to the floor.

She kneeled there, hands splayed in front of her, squeezing back the tears that threatened and trying to get a grip on herself. That�s when she saw it. There on the pale carpet, lay a dark hair, swirled carelessly next to the leg of the couch. She reached for it, tweezing it between two fingers and held it up to the light. It was too long to be Angel�s.

Unwelcome images slammed through her mind. Eve laying naked on her back, legs spread. Angel kneeling between those legs, pounding into her, maybe grabbing at her breasts, maybe running his hands through her hair. Eve. Laying here. Hair. Eve�s hair. Human hair. Or not? Now she would know for sure.

Hurrying back to her office, Willow found an envelope and tucked the hair inside. She sealed it and wrote �Demon DNA� on the outside. On Monday she would go to Fred and say it was a sample of hair from a demon she had fought over the weekend. Yes, a female demon she couldn�t identify and wasn�t able to kill. If Fred could just have her people do a DNA test, she would know what she was dealing with and could research how to dispose of it.

Willow smiled. She was feeling better now. Soon she would be able to prove all of her suspicions about Eve and then wouldn�t Angel feel foolish for trusting her, much less sleeping with her. But that wasn�t why she wanted to know, she told herself. Of course she was still just trying to save herself and her friends from whatever evil plots Eve had in store for them. If in the process Angel realized how stupid he�d been and begged for her forgiveness, well, that would just be a little icing on the cake. Not that she would forgive him. Nope, she was not into that whole forgive and forget thing. She was more of the belief that those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.

After a lovely brunch at a local caf�, Willow was in excellent spirits when she met with the apartment manager. These spirits were only slightly dampened when the woman, who remembered her perfectly, inquired about her handsome friend. Seeing that she�d nearly lost a sale, that subject was quickly dropped and the conversation turned to all the fine features of the new apartment.

Willow felt right at home in the roomy one bedroom unit. It had everything she wanted, including a full sized refrigerator and a huge mirror in the bathroom. She had a momentary twinge looking in the mirror and thinking of the one Angel had bought just for her, but she pushed it away and moved on into the living room which was fully furnished with a decent couch and a small TV. There were no curtains in the place, only mini-blinds, which did a poor job of keeping out the sunlight, but Willow supposed that wasn�t much of a concern anymore. There were hardwood floors throughout, reminding her of how Angel preferred carpeting since it muffled the noises his sensitive ears would otherwise pick up.

Her decision made, Willow signed a three month lease and was told she could move in the following weekend. Perfect. That would give her time to get her things out of the penthouse and check out her new neighborhood. Giving the apartment one last glance, she shook hands with her new landlady. She would be on her own now. She would depend on no one. Willow, the single white female. Great.

~~

As planned, Willow sought out Fred first thing Monday morning.  �Willow, what are you doing here?� Fred asked.

She was answered with a puzzled look.  �I work here, remember?�

�Oh, of course.  I just thought that, you know, after Friday� you might��

�What?  Did you think I was gonna just quit my job because my boss is an idiot?  Please, if everyone did that the unemployment rate in this country would be like 90%!�

Fred continued to look uncertain and Willow sighed.  �Look Fred, this job is really all I have going for me right now.  I�m good at it, and I like it.  I�m not going to let Angel ruin that for me too.�  She noticed how her voice was beginning to rise and quickly calmed herself by changing the subject.

�Anyway, the reason I�m here, in the lab, is because I need you have some tests run on this demon hair.  I don�t know what species it is and it got away from me before I could kill it.  Do you think you can help me identify it?�  She handed Fred the envelope.

Slitting it open, Fred held the hair up to the light, much as Willow had done two days before.  �Wow, it almost looks human.�

�Yeah, it was one of those pretty demons that you can never get the men to kill.�  Willow tried desperately to keep the irony out of her voice and barely succeeded. 

�Okay, I�ll send it to the bio lab.  You should have the results by the end of the day.  I�ll call up to your office when they�re ready.�

�Great, thanks Fred.  You�re the best.�  She turned to leave, but stopped when the other woman spoke to her again.

�Willow, I just wanted to say, I�m sorry about you and Angel.  I hope you work it out.  I know he didn�t mean to hurt you, but I can�t blame you for being mad.�

Willow considered pouring her heart out right then and there, but changed her mind and only smiled before leaving the scientist to her work.  She hoped she was doing the right thing by not telling Fred it was Eve�s hair.  The results of the tests would undoubtedly influence her reaction when she eventually learned the truth.  Willow was torn between hoping that Spike was crazy and Eve was just an ordinary human with no evil intentions towards her friends, and the desire to be vindicated in her suspicions.

As the elevator doors closed behind her, Willow realized that when they opened she would be right in front of Angel�s office.  Though she had imagined their confrontation a million different ways, she realized she hadn�t even considered what she would do if she ran into Eve.  The tension that built inside her as the elevator hummed along was immediately dispersed when the doors opened onto an empty hallway.  The door to Angel�s office was closed and Harmony�s desk was vacant, as usual. 

Letting the relief wash over her, Willow made haste down the hall to her office, where she locked the door behind her and then leaned against it, letting out the breath she�d been holding.  That�s when she saw her visitor, standing in front of her desk, arms crossed, foot tapping impatiently, but making no sound. 

�Spike, what do you want?� She asked, wearily.  She was in no mood to explain herself to the ghost. 

�I want to know where you�ve been for the last 3 days!  You don�t call, you don�t come home, what were you thinking!�

Willow couldn�t help the small giggle that escaped at Spike�s apparent concern for her well-being.  Realizing how odd it was that he was the only one she was ever completely honest with, she told him all about the motel, the apartment, and the hair.  He was visibly upset at the prospect of her moving out.

�You can�t do that to him!  He�ll brood about this for 100 years and I don�t think I can put up with that again!  You don�t think he actually wanted to sleep with that little slut, do you?�

�Why wouldn�t he want to?  She was there, she was willing, he�s a man.  I know how it works.�

�No, you don�t know a damn thing!  Did you know about Lorne having his sleep removed?�

Willow had to admit that she did not. 

�Apparently sleep deprived empaths get lots more than empathic.  Did you know that everyone did everything he said to them that night?  Yeah, that�s right, even me with my jolly good mood.  That was all him.  Nobody was in their right mind until that big monster Lorne was gone.�

�Big monster Lorne?�  Willow was beginning to see that she�d missed more than a wild party.  Spike filled her in on everything from the rampage caused by the manifestation of Lorne�s subconscious, right up to when they put Lorne to bed and realized Willow was gone. 

�He went looking for you right away, wanted to explain what happened.  Hell, everyone was looking for you, until we figured you went home.  But you weren�t there either.  I�ve never seen a vampire beat his own head against the wall before, but that�s just what he did.  I think he was trying to knock himself out.  I woulda helped him with that myself, but, you know.�  He tried to punch a chair and his arm passed through the other side.

�Aww, poor baby, feels bad that he got caught.  Why am I not feeling the sympathy here?�

�Well, yeah, of course he feels bad that you saw him like that, but you�re still missing the point.  He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Lorne felt some sexual tension, said to get a room.  So, that�s what they did.  Not Angel�s fault at all really, much as I hate to say that.�

�Spike, you�re really not helping his case here.  You�re just told me that he was sexually tense when Lorne saw him with her.  Doesn�t that just go to show that he wanted to fuck her anyway?�

Spike flinched at her choice of words, not used to seeing the witch quite so angry.  �No, love.  He wanted to fuck YOU, to use your colorful _expression,� he told her calmly.  �I saw how you were all over each other during that disco number.  Next thing you know, Mr. Sexually Repressed is trying to have a business conversation and not think about your hot, tight, little body, Lorne walks by, makes some offhand remark, and there you have it!�

Willow sat behind her desk and gestured for Spike to make himself comfortable.  He chose to remain standing.  �So, that�s what Angel told you, huh?  That it was really all about me?  That it was my fault for getting him all worked up, so he just had to go ahead and do what Lorne told him?  Isn�t that nice?  How is it that men do that?  No matter how low they go, they always manage to turn it around and act like it�s not their fault!  Unbelievable!  Spike, get out of my office.  I don�t want to hear anymore of this bullshit!�

He turned to go and then paused when he reached the door.  �So you�ll let me know about this business with the hair then?�

�GO!�  He went.

Willow put her head down on her desk for a minute, trying not to think about the things that Spike had told her.  She was unable to help herself though, something about what he�d said seemed important.  Then it hit her.  Wolfram & Hart had removed Lorne�s sleep!  They had messed with his head and something bad had happened.  Wasn�t everyone always wondering when Gunn would experience negative effects too?  That�s what she needed to research to find out what they were planning for her.  She�d mistakenly categorized herself with the magic users and reading about them had told her nothing.  What she should have been reading were the files on everyone who�d received some sort of enhancement.  That information wasn�t even encrypted, it was available to all employees.  How silly of her not to have thought of it before!

Quickly logging on to the system, she figured she might as well start with the most recent case she knew.  She brought up the file on Lorne�s sleep removal and scrolled through pages of technical documentation on the brain of the Pylean.  She had just reached the �known side-effects� section of the file, when she was startled by a knock on her door.  Calling out an invitation, it occurred to her that the door was locked and that was a good thing.  What if it was Angel or Eve?  She really didn�t want to deal with that just yet.  Especially not when she was in research mode.  Still, she got up and went to the door.

�Who is it?� She asked.

�It�s me, sweet cakes.  It�s Lorne.� 

In spite of Spike�s insistence that she should blame Lorne for Angel�s activities, she didn�t.  She unlocked the door and smiled at the green face peering at her uncertainly.

�It�s okay,� she assured him.  �Come in.�

She locked the door behind him and invited him to sit down.  As soon as he did he began, �Willow, dear girl, sweet friend, I�m here to beg your forgiveness.  Oh, I can�t even tell you how sorry I am.  I�ve ruined everything!�

�Lorne, stop.  I don�t blame you.  How could this be your fault?  He�s a guy, she�s a girl, these things happen.  I know your other self got a little out of hand, but everyone is safe now.  Why are you still beating yourself up over this?�

�No, you don�t understand!  You�re the best thing that ever happened to the big guy and it�ll kill him to lose you and that will all be because of me.  He wasn�t even thinking about Eve when I saw him.  I made such a stupid little comment, I never dreamed of the consequences.�

�What makes you think he wasn�t thinking about Eve when you were getting all those sex vibes?�

�He wasn�t even looking at her!  He was watching you, dancing with Spike.  I don�t even think he could hear what she was saying to him.  Unfortunately, he heard me and so did she.  Of course I meant you and Angel should get a room, but since you weren�t close enough to be affected��

�And they were.  Uh huh.  Did Angel put you up to this?�

�What?  No, of course not!  That�s what happened!  He doesn�t want anyone but you.  I could see it when he sang for me.  Eve wasn�t in there anywhere.  It was all about you, sugar plum.  I swear it.�

Willow wanted to believe him.  She really did.  Lorne had nothing to gain by lying to her.  Still, the image of them naked behind that couch was burned into her eyelids and she didn�t know if it would ever fade.  She began to cry.  Nothing in her life had ever been easy, especially when it came to love.  When she realized she was in love with Angel she thought all that had changed.  It seemed like the easiest, most natural thing in the world.  And now it was turning out like everything else.  Complicated.  Hard.  Painful.

 Lorne got up and walked around behind Willow�s desk, snatching up a tissue and handing it to her.  As she blew her nose, he rubbed her shoulders, making soothing noises and shaking his head sympathetically.  �Where is he now?� She wanted to know.

�I don�t know.  No one has seen him all day.  I know that on Friday he told Eve not to come up here for awhile.  I imagine you weren�t looking forward to seeing her.�

Willow sniffled a little and nodded.  �That�s true.  I�m not sure what would happen, but I don�t think she would like it.�

Lorne chuckled and stood up to leave.  �Please think about what I said, Willow.  I couldn�t stand it if the two of you were miserable forever because of me.�

She thanked him and he left her to her sobbing. 

Angel did not appear at his office all day.  Willow felt a strange gratitude that she could put off seeing him a bit longer.  She immersed herself in her research of the enhanced employees at Wolfram & Hart.  She began to notice a disturbing trend among the humans whose brains had been tampered with.  Although their ages varied widely at the time of the enhancements, most of them had �retired� within two years.  She wrote down some names and social security numbers, meaning to cross reference with the state system and see if any of them were receiving Medicare or residing in nearby hospitals.

The phone rang, startling her out of her deductions.  She said a terse hello, hoping to get across to the other party that she was in the middle of something.

�Willow?  It�s Fred.  I have the results of the tests on that hair.  I think you might want to come down here.  You�re not going to believe this.  I know I don�t.�


~~

Bursting into the lab,Willow demanded, �What did they find?�

Fred handed her several pages of computer printouts and began pointing to the relevant data.  �See this column here?  It�s supposed to list the chromosomes of the specimen.�

�There�s nothing here,� Willow observed.

�That�s because there aren�t any.  This thing that you fought, it doesn�t exist.  It�s not alive.�

�That doesn�t make any sense.� Willow frowned and then had a revelation. �Oh!  Could it have been a robot?�

Fred shook her head.  �The hair was made of organic material, like a real hair.  If it was from a robot, it would be synthetic fibers.  Whatever it is, it�s trying to pass for a living creature.�

�Well, it seemed pretty convincing to me.  What does this mean, Fred?�

�I really don�t know.  It would help if I knew a little more about it.  Anything else at all.�

Willow took a deep breath and decided to tell the truth. 

�Would it help if I told you it was Eve�s hair?�

�What?  Eve?  I don�t understand.  You fought Eve?�

Willow explained everything.  She told Fred how Spike had discovered that Eve wasn�t what she seemed, and how she found the hair.  When she was done, she stood quietly with her head down, expecting a lecture.

�Wow, Willow.  I wish you had told me.  I don�t know what to say.  I believe you of course, this is all just so strange.  So, Eve is just some sort of� illusion, not a person at all.  We have to find out why she�s here and what she wants.�

Willow looked up in surprise.  �You mean, you�ll help me?�

�Why wouldn�t I?  This affects us all.  She�s fooled everyone with this elaborate persona.  Nobody who does that ever has good intentions.  The most important thing is to find out who sent her here.  Since she doesn�t even really exist, I doubt she�s acting on her own motives.�

�I think we can safely assume that she really is working for the senior partners.�  Willow described to Fred how Eve had approached her about enhancing her magic. 

�That could explain a lot.  Creating such an elaborate illusion of life would take tremendous power.  We know how powerful the senior partners are, but it would get draining to keep it up, even for them.  If we assume that it�s in their best interest to conserve this energy, that would explain what Spike experienced when Eve was sleeping.  She only has to be human enough to convince whoever she�s around.  When she�s at work, she has to have a heartbeat to fool the vampires.  At home she only needs the most basic human form to be able to respond to whatever situation might arise.  I suppose a digestive system would have been too much work.�

Willow looked at Fred in awe.  Everything she said made perfect sense, given the evidence.  She couldn�t help being a little jealous that Fred had figured out in one day what she�d been working on for months.  �So in a way, she actually IS the senior partners, or at least, she�s controlled by their consciousness?� Willow asked.

�Exactly.  She�s just a mental projection of their will, the perfect vehicle for carrying out their plans.�

�Which are what?�

�That remains to be seen.  We better tell Angel about this.  He needs to know what he�s dealing with.�

�No!� Willow objected immediately.

�It�s ok, I�ll tell him.  You don�t have to talk to him.�

�No, it�s not that.  I just don�t think it�s a good idea.  What if they find out that we know and just decide to kill us all?  Why would they keep us around once they realize we�re on to them and they can�t manipulate us?�

�Yeah, that would be bad.  Angel ought to realize that though.  We could keep playing the game at least until we find out the rules.  I just think he�d be better equipped to win if he knew more about the opponent.�

�Maybe you�re right.  I don�t know.  I just feel like if anything bad happens I�m gonna feel like it�s all my fault because I�m the one who couldn�t accept her and had to go snooping around.�

�Well he�s your boyfriend, sort of, and you�re the one who really uncovered this information about Eve, so I�ll leave it up to you.�

�Ok, thanks Fred.  I�ll sleep on it and let you know in the morning.�

~~

Willow took the elevator to the penthouse to pick up some more clothes for the week.  On the way up it occurred to her that Angel might be there and she still hadn�t seen him since the party.  She began to wonder if he was avoiding her.  Why else wouldn�t he show up for work?  He wasn�t the kind to suddenly become a slacker.

The doors opened to reveal a dark and silent apartment.  Relieved, Willow looked through her room and realized she�d better start packing if she wanted to be ready to move in a few days.  It amazed her how much stuff she had accumulated in such a short time.  She had soon filled the few suitcases brought from Europe and still there were drawers full of clothes and her closet was not completely empty. 

Leaving a bag open for items she would need for the days before the move, she searched through the bathroom for a misplaced hairbrush.  Turning away from the sink, Willow noticed a dry-cleaning bag containing two of her suits hanging from the back of the bathroom door.  The receipt stuck to the hanger was stamped with the date November 1st, the day after the party.  She removed the clothes from the door and stared at them as if she�d never seen a bag of dry-cleaning before in her life.  After sleeping with her least favorite fake person, Angel had gone to the drycleaner and picked up her suits as if nothing had changed.  As if he fully expected her to come home and find them in their spot.  Could he really be that oblivious?  Where was he anyway?

As if in answer to her question, she heard a key in the front door.  Willow quickly closed the door to the bathroom and stayed perfectly still, knowing it made no difference and that Angel would hear her heartbeat and smell her presence the second he entered.  She heard him close the door and walk in her direction, whispering softly words that she couldn�t make out.  She frowned and strained her ears to hear what he was saying, but there was no answering whisper, no other set of footsteps coming through the apartment.  Who was he talking to?  At last she heard him enter his bedroom and close the door. 

Seeing her chance, Willow darted from the bathroom to her own former bedroom, taking the dry-cleaning with her.  Throwing the last of the necessities into her overnight bag, she slung it over her shoulder and hurried out, suddenly wanting to put off the moment of confrontation a little longer.

Fate was not on her side however, and as she attempted to sneak from her room, there was Angel standing before her in the hall, looking uncertain, but blocking her exit.  �I have to go now,� she told him and attempted to brush past.

He took her gently by the shoulders, holding her in place.  She shrank away from him, retreating backwards and fixed him with a defiant glare.  How dare he attempt to detain her!  �Willow, please don�t go.  We need to talk.�

�We don�t need to talk and I need to go.  Please, just let me go if you care one bit about me.�  Her voice thickened as the words passed over the lump growing in her throat.

�I care a lot more than one bit about you.  You�re more important to me than anything, which is why I�m asking you not to go.  Not yet.  Just give me 5 minutes, Willow.  Please.�

Looking into the dark, pleading eyes of the man she thought she loved, Willow�s heart was softened the tiniest bit.  She put her bag down on the floor and crossed her arms over her chest as if to protect herself from what he had to say.  He reached for her elbow to guide her, but she flinched away so he settled for gesturing that they should have a seat in the living room.  She followed him and sat as far away as she could, arms still firmly crossed. 

�What you saw, I just wanted you to know, it wasn�t anything I ever wanted to happen.  I never, ever would have hurt you like that if I�d had even one ounce of my free will.  It was a horrible misunderstanding, and that, combined with some powerful psychological suggestions, well, that makes a pretty big mess.�

Willow just continued to glare at him, unmoved.

�I love you, Willow.  Only you.  You�re the only one I want.  I�m sorry I hurt you.  I would do anything to make it up to you, and I don�t know what else to say.�

�Did you like it?� She asked, her face pale and expressionless.

�Like it?  What?  Willow, no.  I barely even remember it.  The whole night was like a weird dream, it doesn�t seem real at all now.  The only way we know that it really happened is because, well, there was a lot of stuff broken, and you.  You weren�t under Lorne�s spell and you obviously remember it, so it had to be real.�

�It looked like you liked it.�  A tear coursed down one pale cheek and the other green eye gleamed with a tear of its own that threatened to spill over her lower lid. 

In a motion so swift no human could have followed it, Angel procured a tissue from somewhere and knelt before Willow, reaching up to her cheek and blotting at the tear.  She took the tissue from him and finished wiping her eyes herself with harsh swipes that left her skin reddened.  Angel stood up and gazed down at her hunched over form, trailing a soothing hand down her back as the occasional sob hitched at her breath.

�Willow, I�m so sorry.  You don�t know how sorry I am.�

�I know,� she replied.  �I do.  It still hurts, though.�  She began to get her emotions under control and was sitting upright again.  Angel returned to his seat and looked at her with a longing that made her wonder who was really in more pain.  Suddenly, there was a small thunk from Angel�s bedroom.  His eyes widened and shifted back and forth.  Willow frowned in renewed suspicion as she recalled how she thought she�d heard him talking earlier.

�Oh!  I almost forgot!� He exclaimed, jumping to his feet.  �I got you something.  It took me 3 days, but I found it and I really, really hope you like it.  It was so hard to find and, well, I think you�ll be happy.�  With no further explanation, he hurried off to his room leaving Willow thoroughly perplexed.  She wondered what he had bought her that he thought could possibly make up for betraying her, since certainly that�s what this was, a makeup gift.   How much had he spent to make her forget what he�d done?  What was the standard sorry-I-screwed-your-worst-enemy gift?  A diamond necklace?  Keys to a new Lexus?  Tickets for two to Tahiti?  No, maybe with a regular guy, but a vampire in Tahiti wouldn�t be very much fun.

Her musings were soon put to rest when Angel emerged from the room, concealing something in his hands, which he then deposited in her lap.  Looking up at her with huge yellow eyes and mewling softly was a tiny black and white kitten.  Grinning widely, she picked it up and held it under her chin, closing her eyes as it purred blissfully and rubbed its silky soft head against her neck.  It couldn�t have been more than 3 months old.  Holding it up again, she determined that it was a girl kitty and possibly the cutest kitten in the entire world.

Catching Angel�s glance, Willow�s grin faltered and she was confused.  This was a kitten, not diamonds or luxury cars.  Why a kitten and how had it taken him days to find one when the shelters in the city were full of them?  Seeming to guess her thoughts, he said, �That�s not just any kitten.  That is the daughter of a certain Miss Kitty Fantastico.�  He looked very pleased with himself following this announcement.  �I wanted to find the original of course, and I did, but she seemed happy there with those kids.  I didn�t think you would want her life disrupted again.  She had some kittens and the family was trying to find homes for them, so I thought you�d like one.�

Amazement filled Willow, looking back and forth between the kitten and the vampire.  Could it be true?  Was the beloved cat she�d shared with Tara really alive and well?  And a mom?  �How did you do this?� Was all she could think to ask. 

�Like I said it took a while.  Lots of phone calls and questions, a few bribes, some beatings�� he stopped at the look of horror on her face.  �I�m kidding!  I�m kidding!  No bribes or beatings.  I used a few connections to get the numbers of everyone who used to live in Sunnydale who had registered a cat under 4 years old.  After that it was just a matter of going through one by one until I found someone with the right kind of cat who�d found her around the right time in the right place.�

�You did all of that to find my cat?�  Willow was still stunned.

�Well, yeah, I had to do something for you.  I knew that just buying some big expensive gift wouldn�t impress you.  It had to be something meaningful, and I knew that cat meant a lot to you.  I would�ve stolen her if I thought it would make you happy.�

�No, I�m glad you didn�t.  I�m just happy to know she�s ok.  And to have this,� she patted the kitten who had curled up to sleep in her lap, �This is wonderful, to have a little part of her.  Thank you so much.�  Though her words were sincere, she did not reach to give him a hug.  �I�ll have to check my lease and make sure they allow cats.�

Now it was Angel�s turn to look confused.  �Lease?�  For the first time, he glanced towards her room and noticed the suitcases sitting in the middle of the floor.  �You�re moving out!� 

Her happiness at receiving the kitten quickly fading, Willow snapped, �Of course, what did you think?  That I would stay here with you, after what you did?�

�No.  Well, yeah.  I don�t know, I guess I thought you�d stay away at first.  But to move out entirely, no.  I didn�t think about anything that permanent.�

�Well, it is.  I can�t stay here.  I need to be away from you for awhile.  A long while.  Thank you for the kitten, it was very thoughtful and I� I love her, but that doesn�t change what�s happened between us.�

Angel bent over and buried his head in his hands with his elbows on his knees.  Willow wondered if he was going to cry.  She�d only ever seen one vampire cry and that was Spike crying when Drusilla had left him, and again when Buffy had died.  She didn�t think that telling Angel that he was acting like Love�s self-proclaimed Bitch would be a very good idea so she only stood up to get her bag, cradling the kitten in one arm.  �I can�t take her with me to the motel; she might get out by accident.  I�ll take her this weekend when I move.�

�So that�s it then.  It�s really over between us.  Forever, before we even really got started?�

�Is that what you want?� Willow asked him.

�No, of course not!�

�Well, that�s not what I want either.  But if you want there to be any chance for us, you need to give me this time away.  Time to heal and to try � try to forget what I saw.  That�s the hardest part.�  She shuddered and walked away from him, heading down the hall to pick up her bag.  Going into Angel�s room, she deposited the kitten on the bed and saw that he had set up a bowl of food and a litter pan for it.  Turning to go, it immediately jumped down and ran to her, purring and rubbing against her ankle.  She smiled and kept walking, watching as it ran ahead into the living room and jumped up on the back of a chair to get her attention. 

�Willow?�  She turned to face him, expecting more begging for her to stay.

�I�ll give you what you want.  I�d give you anything, you know that.  I�ll be here when you�re ready.  And I�ll take care of Luna until you come back for her.�

�Luna?� 

�The kitten.  That�s what I named her, but you can change it if you want.�

Willow smiled, �No, it�s perfect.  I�ll see you at the office tomorrow.  You�re coming in, right?�

�Yeah, I�ll be there.�

With one last goodbye pet for Luna, Willow left the vampire to his brooding.

~~
The week passed quickly and before she knew it, Willow was unpacking her things in the new apartment.  Wesley and Fred had helped her move and offered to stay and help her get organized, but she politely declined.  She wanted some time to get used to the place and being on her own.  Angel wasn�t home when they�d taken the last of the suitcases down in the elevator and Willow was glad for it.  She didn�t want any awkward goodbyes.

There had been plenty of awkward moments at the office with the two of them trying to ignore their feelings and act like they were just coworkers, and everyone else trying to ignore the sideways glances of longing they kept giving each other.  Upon entering her office on Tuesday, Willow had found a dozen yellow roses in a crystal vase on her desk with a small card reading, �Just making sure we�re still friends.  Yours Always, Angel.�  This small gesture had made her smile but she hadn�t mentioned the flowers, hoping to discourage future displays of affection. 

The next day, she had come in to find a package waiting in her inbox.  It was just a rectangular cardboard box with her business address printed on the front and the name of a mail order company on the back.  Clearly, it was a gift from her rejected lover. This was too much.  Without even opening it, she marched into Angel�s office and handed it to him.  �Stop it,� she demanded.

He looked at the package and back at her, �What?  What is this?�

�Don�t play all innocent vampire, you tell me.  You put it in my office.  I want you to stop buying me things.  It�s just making me feel guilty and I�m not the one who�s supposed to be feeling guilty here.�

�Willow, I swear, I don�t know what this is.  You do have other friends, maybe one of them sent you something.  You could actually open it and find out.�

Not appreciating his tone, Willow ripped open the package, intent on proving him a liar.  A few seconds later she found herself holding two Barry Manilow CDs and feeling very sheepish.  She laid them down on his desk, not meeting his gaze.  �These are for you.�

He picked up his gifts, turning them over, examining the play list for each.  When he looked up he asked, �Who are these from?�  The _expression on his face told Willow that he knew perfectly well who they were from and was just enjoying watching her squirm.

�They�re from me,� she told him quietly.  �I ordered them before � well, you know.  Before.  They were on backorder.  I guess I forgot.�

Angel leaned back in his big leather chair and regarded her with the wide-eyed look of a child who�s just caught a parent breaking one of their own rules.  �So, let�s see now.  It�s ok for you to buy things for me, but I�m not allowed to buy things for you?  That just doesn�t seem fair, Willow.  You don�t seem like the type to advocate such a double standard.�

Flustered and not in the mood to argue she said, �Fine!  Buy me all the stuff you want!  See if I care!  Just don�t think you can buy my trust or my love.�  She had stormed from the office and avoided Angel for the rest of the day. 

The memory of her behavior that day made her flush slightly now as she looked at the card in her hands from Thursday�s bouquet of pale pink flowers.  It read, �Money can�t buy happiness, trust, or love, but it can buy these roses.  If they make you smile just one time, then they were worth every last dime.�  She shook her head at the awful attempt at poetry and wondered why he hadn�t recruited Spike to help him with it.  Though, remembering the reason behind Spike�s former nickname, perhaps he had.  She didn�t know why she�d saved his little cards, but she still didn�t throw them out, instead placing them in the drawer of her bedside table.

Taking a break from the endless task of hanging up her clothes, Willow leaned down to pick up Luna who had discovered the laces of her sneakers and had been contentedly munching on them.  It was nice to have feline company again.  She sat on the bed and put the kitten in her lap, entertaining her with a feather from one of the many scattered bags of magic supplies.  Could the person who brought her this little fluff of joy really be worthy of her continued anger and distrust? 

It occurred to Willow that this was the first relationship she�d ever voluntarily walked away from.  Everyone else had left her.  Not just lovers, either.  Her parents, her friends, they had all been the ones to leave.  Even Miss Kitty Fantastico had run away, though she vowed not to let that happen to her new little darling. 

So here she sat alone by her own choice for the first time in her life.  And somewhere not too far away sat the one person who could make her not alone, the one person who would still love her freely, if she would only let him.  But she couldn�t.  Not yet.  She no longer doubted his love for her or his intention of fidelity.  She still needed to convince herself that he wouldn�t leave, not ever.  If she gave him her heart and he tossed it away as so many others had, it would be the end of her.  Her will to live would be crushed and Willow would be gone.  She simply could not survive another abandonment.

As the sun set, Willow busied herself in the kitchen making dinner for one.  The refrigerator was full of her earlier purchases at the grocery store, where she�d had a blast tossing anything and everything that looked good into her cart, knowing that she finally had a refrigerator all to herself and big enough for all the food she could want.  She stirred a pot of rice that threatened to boil over while checking the timer for the salmon loaf in the oven. 

Luna had gone crazy when Willow opened the can of fish and now sat in the corner cleaning her whiskers after the snack that she�d charmed out of her new owner.  The doorbell rang and Luna found herself scooted into the bedroom with the door closed so she could not dart out the front door when Willow opened it to let in her guest.  Standing on the porch was none other than Angel, he whom she had moved to avoid.  �Hi.  What are you doing here?  And what did you bring me now?�  Was Willow�s friendly greeting.

�I just came to see how the move went.  Sorry I couldn�t help, but it was a nice day and big piles of dust aren�t that great at lifting boxes.�  Willow raised an eyebrow at the large paper bag he held.  �Oh, this isn�t for you.  It�s for Luna.�  At her invitation, Angel set his burden down on her kitchen counter and extracted two boxes of kitten food, a packet of treats, a plastic ball with a bell inside, several furry mice, and a small round container of catnip. 

Willow looked at the array of goodies and said, �You didn�t have to do all this.  I can afford to take care of her.� 

�I know.  But when I gave her to you, I didn�t know you were moving and I thought she�d be ours.  I don�t think it�s fair to expect you to provide for her by yourself since I�m the one who promised to give her a home.�

Willow couldn�t argue with this so she only thanked him and put away the boxes of food.  She let Luna out of the bedroom so Angel could see her and rolled the ball across the hardwood floor to see what she would do.  Willow and Angel stood and watched as Luna wiggled her rump and then pounced as the ball tried to roll past her.  They laughed at her antics like proud parents and it was a few minutes before they realized they weren�t supposed to feel this comfortable around each other.  As the laughter died away, Angel gave himself a quick tour of the apartment. 

�Nice place you�ve got here.  I see you went with the first floor.  It seems like a decent neighborhood at least.�

�Yeah, well I didn�t really have a lot of time to look around for anything better,� she told him, not bothering to hide the bitterness in her voice.  She didn�t want him coming there and criticizing her housing.  If it wasn�t for him she would still be perfectly happy up in her little room in his penthouse.  No, if it wasn�t for Lorne, she reminded herself.  She was trying desperately to end her mental Angel bashing. 

Before he could come up with a response the timer buzzed and Willow hurried to remove the loaf from the oven and shut off the rice.  Clearing his throat, Angel announced, �Well I guess I�d better be going.  Just wanted to drop off Luna�s things.  See you Monday.�  He was out the door almost before she could express her thanks for the bag of supplies. 

Willow wondered at his true motives for the short visit.  Surely he wouldn�t come all that way to drop of $10 worth of cat care items.  Was he just checking up on her?  Or did he really miss her?  That last thought almost made her lose her appetite for her carefully prepared dinner.  Sitting at the little round table for two, Willow pushed her rice around on one of the cheap white plastic plates included with her rent.  It was Saturday night.  Did Angel have any plans?  Somewhere in her head an evil voice suggested that perhaps he was going to have a late night at the office with a particular short skirt. 

She threw down the fork, which clattered on the table, startling Luna who hissed adorably.  It was happening to her at last.  She was brooding.  Hadn�t Spike playfully warned her that hanging out with Angel too much would lead to this?  It was ridiculous that she should sit there alone in her little apartment thinking about him, imagining all sorts of absurd things and making herself miserable. 

Setting the plate on the floor to see if the kitten had a better appetite than she did, Willow returned to her unpacking, desperate to have something to do to keep her mind off a certain tall, dark, and handsome brood-machine who insisted on haunting her every thought.  Though she�d always been a hard worker, Willow had also been able to appreciate her free time as well.  Now she found herself eagerly anticipating the coming work week when she could bury herself in cases and not think about the occupant of the big office down the hall.

~~

Monday came at last and on this particular morning, Willow�s office contained an extra tall vase with a half dozen sunflowers on three foot long stems. The card read simply, �Good morning, Sunshine. You are the light of my life.�

Suppressing a groan, Willow slipped the card into her pocket and thought with not a little irony how, not too long ago, this particular light of Angel�s life would have liked to really be sunshine to set him on fire and burn him to ashes with her mere presence.

She�d been at work only a short time, occupying her mind with all things non-vampire, when a knock came at her door. She called out an invitation and immediately regretted it when she saw who stood on the other side. Eve stepped into the room, closed the door, and sat down in a chair in front of Willow�s desk, without being asked.

�Good morning, Willow. I think it�s time you and I had a little chat, wouldn�t you say?� Willow, as usual, said nothing. �I think enough time has passed that you should be able to tell me your decision.�

Barely hearing what was said to her, Willow stood up from her chair. Leaning over her desk, her face scrunched up in a never-before-seen scowl she said, �I don�t think enough time will ever pass for you to come in here and act like I would have a conversation with you. I have no interest in talking to you about my relationship with Angel, so why don�t you just go take
a��

Eve cut her off. �I�m not here to talk about Angel. What happened at the Halloween party was an accident. Neither of us did anything wrong or have anything to apologize for, not to you, or anyone else.� Seeing that Willow could only stand there with her mouth hanging open, none of the comebacks going through her mind being nearly good enough to respond to what had just been said, Eve continued, �I�m here to talk about you. It�s been a long time since I asked if you�d consider having your magic enhanced. We�ve really tried to be patient on this issue, but I�m beginning to feel some pressure to extract a definitive answer from you. I�m sure you understand.�

Sitting back down in her chair, Willow found her voice at last. �I understand that you expect me to let you mess around in my brain. There is no way that�s gonna happen. I�ve read the reports on those other poor people you�ve �enhanced�. Their minds start to break down after a couple of years and then you dispose of them. Don�t bother trying to deny it!�

�I wouldn�t dream of it. You�re absolutely right. We have had some disappointing results in attempting to enhance the ordinary human mind. But Willow, your brain is far from ordinary. We believe that you are the best candidate we�ve seen for a successful, long-term enhancement. It�s too bad that you didn�t feel you could come to me with your concerns. We could have had this all worked out by now and been benefiting from your improved capabilities. Do you have any other misconceptions I can help you with?�

�No, just the original one. That you�re all a bunch of evil mad scientists and there is no way you�re opening up my head.�

�I�m sorry to hear that. I hope you�ll change your mind. I�d hate to have to change it for you.� With that threat left to hang in the air, Eve showed herself out of Willow�s office.

Willow slumped back down in her chair, feeling drained in spite of the short duration of the conversation with Eve. Had she really thought that being at work would be better for her mental state than being at home in her apartment and watching the ever adorable Luna carry little furry mice about in her mouth as if they were her babies? Maybe she was closer to losing it than she thought. As if to make her Monday morning complete, a familiar blonde head drifted in through the bookcase.

�So, here she is, Miss Leave Me Alone to Die, Cruel World.� The rest of the ghostly form appeared in the office and Spike commenced pacing back and forth in his favorite route in front of her desk.

Willow groaned. �Spike. What do you want? Can�t you see I�m brooding?�

�Oh, that�s rich! Where have I heard that before? Oh right, just yesterday in the penthouse. And the day before, and the day before, and the��

�Spike! The point. What you wanted. That would be�?�

�Right. Just wanted to tell you I think you ought to move back. You made a big mistake leaving. You don�t know how it�s been.�

�Well, why don�t you tell me? Then you can go. I�m having a bad day.�

�It�s Angel. He�s not been himself. Not eating right. Those same packets of blood have been in the fridge for a week. I can�t remember the last time I saw a mug in the sink. Not to mention the brooding, and I told you that would happen. It�s ten times worse than ever before! It�s no fun even picking on him when he�s already in such a rotten mood all the time.�

�I suppose you�re going to tell me this is all my fault?�

�You bet I am! How else do you explain it? Before you left he was so happy it made me sick! I could rib him for hours before I got a good reaction out of him. I swear he even started wearing less black for a while.�

�Look, Spike, I think it�s cute that you�re worried about him, but he�s a big boy. He can take care of himself. He survived hundreds of years without me, I�m sure this time apart isn�t going to kill him.�
�So you are coming back? Someday?� The pacing ceased and Spike moved to sit on the corner of Willow�s desk, just to the left of her chair. She suddenly had his full attention.

�Well, that�s the plan, I think. If he�s willing to wait and not get into any more� compromising situations, then yeah, someday. You�re really worried about him?�

�Maybe a little. Nothing wrong with that. Besides, it�s just more fun with you there. We�re friends, aren�t we Red? Can�t a ghost just miss one of his regular haunts?�

Willow smiled. �Yeah, of course we�re friends, Spike. You saved my life. You could come haunt my new place sometime if that amulet will let you get that far away.�

�And you could come up to the penthouse now and then, even if it�s just to see me. I�m not foolish enough to think that if you could see a certain someone else, that wouldn�t be a better incentive, though.� Spike suddenly smiled the most conniving, mischievous, smile Willow had ever had the horror to see upon his face. If he didn�t have a soul she would have been running for her life. �I�ve got something for you. You wait here and open the door when I tell you. It�s a real something so I can�t float it through the wall. Could take me awhile, hold on.�

Before Willow could ask anything further, Spike had leapt off her desk and was gone. Shaking her head, she tried desperately to recall what she was doing before her visits from the building�s strangest occupants had distracted her.

At last she found her focus and went to work studying a particularly puzzling case involving a band of demons harvesting human body parts for sale on the black market as delicacies to other demons who favored the various parts.

She�d made contact with one demon that preferred to serve earlobes at his social functions. Using a simple truth spell, she hoped to uncover the name of his supplier at their next meeting. So far, he hadn�t been very forthcoming even though the firm was representing some of the demons who were being ripped off by the high prices. Thankfully, this meant they were interested in shutting down the operation.

It was over an hour later when Willow at last heard Spike�s muffled voice demanding that she open the door. Doing so, she saw him crouched on the floor, a deep crease of concentration on his forehead as he tried to push a small piece of shiny paper over the ridge where the hardwood floor of the hall ended and the plush carpet of Willow�s office began. Taking pity on the ghost, she stooped and picked up the paper, ushering him inside and closing the door. �Is this for me?� She asked, before turning it over and gasping.

�Yup, it�s all yours. How do you like it?� His frown had turned into a huge grin when he saw her reaction.

�Spike,� she hissed, closing the door quickly. �Where did you get this?�

�Took it myself this morning. Had a helluva time picking up the camera and pushing that sodding little button, but it was worth it. I thought if you saw what you were missing, you might consider a reunion with the Gel-Headed Wonder.�

�Spike, I�ve seen what� I mean, I know what� this one time, I� well this is really unnecessary,� she concluded, trying to pretend she wasn�t studying the picture like an art critic standing in front of a Monet.

Spike took her meaning just fine, however garbled the delivery. �Oh, have you now? Well, I had no idea! When did this happy little occasion occur? I thought that you two never made it into the sack.�

�No! We didn�t. But, you know, two people live together for awhile, sometimes you just have bad timing, and well, these things happen. Nobody�s fault really,� she muttered.

�So, now you�ve got a little reminder. Just in case you forgot. Now, me, I wish I could forget. Like I really needed to remember what that sculpted ass was� ah never mind. Picture�s yours. Enjoy!� Once more Spike dissolved through the wall and Willow was left to admire his gift.

Alone in the room she felt no shame as her eyes traveled down the full-length shot of Angel just emerging from the bathroom after his shower, apparently no longer fettered by the towel he�d felt obligated to wear during her residence in the penthouse. His mouth was open in a perfect O of surprise. Willow giggled as she imagined how his face had shifted into a look of annoyance and fury when he realized what had happened.

Recalling the difficulty Spike had getting the picture down to her, she couldn�t imagine that Angel would have had any trouble taking it away from him. Surely he�d been gone so long because of the amount of concentration it took him to move things any distance at all. A sly smile appeared on her lips to match the thought in her head that perhaps Angel had guessed his purpose in taking the shot and let him get away with it. She couldn�t pretend that the picture had no effect on her. In fact, she was sure it was having exactly the effect Spike, and maybe Angel, had hoped for. No matter, she had resisted the charms of the freshly showered vampire when she�d lived with him; certainly she could resist a picture of the same. Just to prove it to herself, she tore her eyes away and placed the image in her pocket along with the card from the sunflowers.

She looked back at her computer and was startled to see that the time in lower right hand corner of the monitor indicated that nearly 15 minutes had passed since Spike had left the office. Had she really spent all that time looking at the picture? Of course not, she must have just read the clock wrong earlier. Right, she could tell time when she was two years old, but now she read the clock wrong. Uh huh.

�Stupid sexy naked vampire! So not thinking about you! Sitting here, working on my case with the yucky body parts, definitely NOT thinking about you! You hear me? NOT thinking about you!� Willow muttered to herself.

Her door opened and she looked up to see Angel stick his head in. �Do you think you could keep it down a little in here? I�m having trouble concentrating with the monologue going on. Practicing some performance art?� Giving her a smirk she wanted to slap right off his face, he pulled his head back out and shut the
door again.