Higher Ed for the Undead

The droning lecture in database schemas continued as Spike let out a roaring yawn. �Shhh,� hissed several voices in his vicinity. Willow blushed a furious shade of red, shooting Spike a pleading look.

�What?� he asked, face a picture of innocence. �This guy is boring me to death!� Spike rolled his eyes before Willow could point out the obvious. �You know what I mean. He�s bloody drier than a drained corpse.� He didn�t bother to keep his voice down.

�Well, then, why did you come?� Willow asked between clenched teeth.

�You know why I came. Wanted to see what it is that�s so interesting that keeps my girl away from me all day long. A night class seemed the perfect opportunity. How do you keep awake?� Spike yawned again and stretched back so that his hands rested on the long lecture hall desk behind and above his head.

�Hey! You�re on my notes!� complained a grouchy freshman girl. Spike turned and scowled at her.

�Yeah, and what�s a chit like you gonna do about it? I could eat you for breakfast and make you like it!� He wore a satisfied smirk and a yellow glint in his eye as the girl shrunk away from him, pushing as far back in her seat as possible.

�Spike! No eating my classmates!� Willow was beside herself. She should have know this was a bad idea. Normally she liked it that Spike took an interest in her activities, being the ever attentive boyfriend, but this was too much. She should have known that no one his age would be able to sit through a 3 hour lecture on advanced computer concepts.

�Relax, Love. I think this room could do with being a little less crowded.� As if to illustrate his point, Spike stuck out his legs and rested them on the chair in front of him, one level down. The occupant of the chair was not pleased.

�Move your feet, man! What do I look like, your ottoman?� Willow recognized the irate student as a guy she worked with on a group project the previous semester.

�Sorry John,� she muttered. She looked up at the professor who was still reading his slides to the class, oblivious of the disturbances. She made an earnest attempt to copy down some notes.

This attempt was thwarted by an �Ow!� from John who had received the heel of Spike�s boot in the back of his head for his complaints. John turned to glare back and forth between Willow and Spike. He fixed his gaze on Willow and demanded, �Is he even in this class? He wasn�t here on Monday, I�m pretty sure I would remember!� With that he turned to face the professor, rubbing the back of his head conspicuously.

At a murderous stare from Willow, Spike sighed and removed his feet from the back of the chair. �I could snap his neck just using my toes,� he muttered, loud enough for John to hear. The back of his neck turned red, but he did not turn around to look at Spike again.

�Do we have to have another talk about killing people I know?� Willow demanded. She stole a frantic look at the clock but only 20 minutes had elapsed since the beginning of class. How was she going to keep Spike from killing someone for the next 2 hours and 40 minutes? There was no way he would sit still that long.

Spike drummed out a tuneless rhythm on the desk with his fingertips. After a few moments, he began to hum along. �Honestly! Couldn�t you do something else with your hands?� asked the girl sitting on his right. Although Willow knew she meant take notes, Spike had other ideas. He stretched both his arms out to his sides and put them along the backs of the chairs next to him, leering at the aggravated girl. �Iw! In your dreams!� declared the girl, leaning away from him.

�You wish you were in my dreams!� Spike retorted, withdrawing his arm. �I�ll wager I�ll be in yours tonight,� he added, laughing at her obvious disgust.

Willow raked a hand through her hair, shaking her head. �Spike, please!�

Spike turned back to her and nuzzled at her ear, �Aw, Love, you never have to beg. You want me to kill the bint just say so.�

Willow threw a look at the girl on the other side of her boyfriend. Michelle, also a former group mate. Bitchy beyond reason. She leaned in closer to Spike. �Well, maybe after class. Don�t want to get my notes all bloodied up.�

Spike grinned at her, looking a little surprised. �Right then, that�s what I like to hear. That�s my girl!� Arm still around Willow, Spike settled back in his chair. Willow let out a small sigh of relief. It looked like he might behave himself for the rest of the class. She picked up her pen again and started taking notes. Spike pretended to be absorbed in the material. Every now and then he would turn slightly towards Michelle so that Willow could still see him and lick his lips deliberately.

Willow tried to stifle her giggles. Finally, she turned to a blank page in her notebook and wrote, �How come you never look at me like that?� She pushed the note towards Spike until he got the idea and read it. He picked up her pen and wrote back. �I do but you can�t see it when my face is between your legs.� He pushed the paper back to her.

Willow let out a small gasp and blushed several shades of red and at least two purple. Spike grabbed the page again and added, �Why are you all red, Red?�

Willow snatched the pen from his hand and scribbled, �You are so, BAD!� She threw the pen down and Spike took it and wrote, �Isn�t that why you like me? I�m the Big Bad!�

A smirk played across her lips as Willow read this and wrote back, �Is that so? Just how big is the Big Bad?� Spike coughed to cover up his shock at reading those words written by his innocent looking Red.

When he had regained his composure he proposed, �If you really want to know, let�s blow this joint.� Willow nodded her consent and they rose, shuffling their way down the row behind grumbling student trying to pull their chairs in. She didn�t even bother making an excuse to the professor for her departure. Not that he would�ve noticed.

Out in the hall, Spike pushed her up against the wall and smashed his lips down on hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in. When they came up for air, Spike grabbed her by the hand and dragged her down the corridor to the parking lot. Willow tried not to laugh. Her classmates had survived a lecture with a master vampire in their midst and she was going to go have fun with her boyfriend. For Sunnydale, that made it a great night.