| The cutting fad. have a bit of annoyance with Newbie cutters, I don�t mean to say that their pain isn�t just as bad as mine or any shit like that. I�m Just saying that I hate it, when they say stuff like. �I just cut/scratched myself a little. It hurt. My pain is such and such and OH GOD am I triggered.� The first time I cut, I did it because I had heard from Claire, My Girl friend who I have talked of before, that it helped release all the pain that you couldn�t express, so yeah I tired it, that was six, almost seven years ago. EVERYONE gets started from hearing or seeing it some where or another. Any how, I didn�t feel triggered to do it again right away. In fact it was probably three or four months until I did it again. And the same for about two years. Than it became more frequent and I got addicted. See I think that cutting is also about addiction. I did it more and more because I was addicted to the release and the pain and the site of the blood, see it was something that took time, as smoking does. After I had my very first cigarette, even after two or three packs, I wasn�t like OH GOD I NEED A SMOKE! It was something that accumulated over time, why or what started you isn�t the point. I was reading something a new cutter had said, and I could tell that they had read through the material at hand, and copied bits and pieces, from what other people had said or done and just re-vamped it to be their life sotries. Like it was scripted; and all I could think was ARGH! Once isn�t going to make you triggered, and stop. It seems as if it is starting to be a trendy fad. WHICH PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH I CANT EVEN TELL YOU. I�ve heard about teens at schools who cut them selves at lunch tables and share it, like �mines deeper, I have more, Mines longer.� It makes me fucking sick. I can�t even imagine doing that. Until recently my Cutting was very secretive, it was like a sin that I didn�t want any one to see or hear about. And now I hear of these attention seekers, and I just want to scream. CUTTING ISNT TREND; Its not some cool fad that every one is doing, at least it never used to be. When I hear and see shit like this, it�s almost like a mocking of my pain and what I went through. See I knew cutting was accepted by any one except cutters themselves� and I knew that it wasn�t �right� but I didn�t do it so that I would fit into an awesome group. And any one who does, SUCKS. I�m sorry�I get needing attention, but Jesus tap dancing Christ� Maybe I�m a bitch, but good Lord! I guess this doesn�t have a point other than it pisses me off. Does any else see why it would? Or feel that way? This is not directed towards any one in particular, I just used the two above as an example. |