| Easy Love By Tiffany Chapter: 12 The Leery Fish House� As they strolled up to the Fish House and stepped inside they remained silent. Each with their own thoughts. There was cake being passed out while kids occupied themselves with dancing and running around. Pacey immediately spotted her in the corner of the room sipping on a glass of punch. Inadvertently he made his way to her side. She smiled at him. "Hey you! Where did you sneak off to or do I even have to ask?" He took a sip of his drink as he raised his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?" She turned to him. "What? You didn�t see her?" She asked. "Who?" He questioned and followed her hand as she pointed toward the brunette on the other side of the room trying to tell Mrs. Leery that she wasn�t in the mood for cake but her protests were going unheeded. She turned holding a nice slice of cake on a plate and that trademark half-grin across her face. Her eyes met his instantly and suddenly the world was moving in slow motion. He stared back at her knowing that although they were only across the room from one another it felt like a lot further for him. "Go to her." He heard Andie whisper into his ear as she walked passed him and met up with Dawson. He tried not to watch her leave his side but couldn�t help himself. Finally he turned back to Joey who was making her way across the room finally stopping in front of him. "Hey�" She remarked meekly. He nodded. "Hey�" There was a brief silence. "So I got bombarded with cake� I tried to tell Mrs. Leery that I didn�t want any but you know how she is." She stated trying to break the silence. "Yeah." She sighed. "You were great today� with the kids I mean. They really adore you." "You saw the game?" He asked and watched as she nodded. "I thought that you couldn�t make it." She exhaled deeply. "I wanted to be there for you� Can we go somewhere and talk?" She asked finally wanting desperately to be alone with. Wanting to be close to him. He nodded. "Yeah." She turned and led the way out him following close behind. He looked over his shoulder and saw Andie watching him� she held a curious _expression. It wasn�t one that he recognized and wished that he had more time to figure it out. Outside the Leery Fish House� They stood on the cement stairway that led into the restaurant each leaning into the opposite wooden banister. She had her palms resting on the supporting frame gripping it so tightly that her knuckles were turning white with strain. She wanted nothing more then to bridge the gap that had become between them but not knowing how. So instead she stood there in silence. He stared at the ground watching the small ants that traveled precariously across the steps seeming thoroughly interested. He could hear her exhale of breath making him look up briefly. It was just enough time for his eyes to catch hers before he quickly looked away. It was so hard for some reason� this was so hard. He knew what was coming and as much as he wanted to stop it� he couldn�t. His heart and his need to do the right thing wouldn�t let him. She heard the shuffle of his feet as he changed positions and watched intently as his sneakers moved from supporting him to leaning onto the heels as he relaxed into the wood behind him. She sighed. They couldn�t stand out here all day but she sure didn�t want to start the conversation� not when she knew what was on the other side of it. But being here like this� standing in mutual silence wasn�t helping. "Pacey� what�s going on?" She looked up briefly as she saw him shrug with tremendous effort. It was almost as if he wanted to say something but couldn�t find the right words so instead he settled for the most common and honest. "I don�t know." She nodded. "Look if this is about the soccer game and everything� I came and it was great. You were great. I didn�t know how important it was to you." "It�s not about the game." He stated lowly still not able to look at her. She stopped and switched up. "Look I know that you don�t like to be lectured to and trust me the other night I know that�s the way it came out but I was just worried about you. I mean I didn�t mean to push." "That�s� that�s not it." He stated in the same tone. She furrowed her brow somewhat already knowing that it wasn�t any of those incidents. Her fingers pressed more firmly into the wood and her shoulders sagged. "I know. I just don�t know where this wall is coming from that�s between us. I mean things between us was never easy but some way or another I could always reach you and vise versa. And now� I can barely see you. And I don�t know what to do� Tell me what I should do." She pleaded with him her eyes burned with unshed tears that threatened to overflow. He looked up hearing her voice crack with emotion and his first instinct was to go to her� to reach out and hold her but his legs didn�t move and his arms didn�t budge. There she was standing no more then a few feet away from him asking, correction pleading with him to tell her what to do to fix this and there he stood like a statue unable to move. He stared into her chocolate brown eyes and wondered why couldn�t he just be with her? "I can�t� because there is no solution." "Don�t say that!" She retorted anxiously. "There are no words� no actions that you or I can take to save what we had." "What we HAVE!" She corrected instantly. "Pacey you and I we�re not over." She whispered as she wiped at her tears frustrated and desperately trying to hold onto something that she couldn�t help but feel was slipping right through her fingers. "But we�re so far apart." He stated what had been on his mind. Walking over she stood in front of him and reached out for his arms. "Look at me�" She whispered. It took a moment for his eyes to look up and meet hers. "I�m right here. I�m standing right in front of you. Just talk to me." Her words resounded in his ears as he watched the tears fall freely down her cheeks leaving wet, salty trails behind. He could feel her fingers grip his arms through his sweater and if he listened closely he was sure that he could hear her heartbeat or maybe it was his own that was racing a mile a minute. And even with the close proximity of their bodies when he stared into her for some reason� he couldn�t see the woman that he fell in love with� or maybe his love just stopped reaching for her. And so he dropped the intense gaze and retracted his arms from her grip until his hands were holding hers. Staring down at his fingers wrapped around hers he admired their smoothness and strength. "I want to talk to you� God I do. I�ve tried but I can�t. I look at you Joey� I can see you right in front of me and no matter how badly I try no matter what you do or I do� it�s just never right." He sighed as the tears spilled onto his cheeks and he made no effort to wipe them away. She continued to let him caress her hands with his own as they both stared down at what seemed to be the last connection they had. "Why is this happening?" She asked. He didn�t respond at first truly thinking over her answer. �I don�t know� wouldn�t suffice. "People change� and they need time and space to grow to discover themselves� you did it." He answered. She nodded with a sniffle. "Yeah�" She breathed. "In discovering myself I found you; I found us." She stated and looked up for the first time and met his eyes as realization and fear gripped her. "I�m going to lose you the same way that Dawson lost me." But he shook his head. "You won�t lose me. And Dawson never lost you. Joey you would go to Dawson in a second if things were really bad and you know that he would accept you no questions asked. That�s the way friendship works� That�s the way you and Dawson work." She didn�t reply� there was no need. She knew that he was right. And he in turn knew that she understood. But it didn�t make things any easier to accept. Breaking someone�s heart is never easy� Inside the Leery Fish House� Dawson found her cleaning up in the kitchen. Coming up behind her he encircled her within his embrace and she smiled as she leaned into his chest. She sighed contented to be in his arms as he leaned in and kissed her intimately in the crook of her neck. "I�ve been looking everywhere for you." He whispered in her ear. "What are you doing back here?" He asked. "This place isn�t going to clean itself Dawson. A tidy kitchen is a happy kitchen!" She remarked wittily. He sighed letting his forehead come to rest on her shoulder. "Andie� we can clean up later." "Why wait until later what you can do right now?" She retorted. He smiled. "My thoughts exactly." He said turning her around to face him. "Why wait?" He asked before bringing his lips to hers. She breathed into the kiss letting her arms come to encircle his neck lazily. And as they pulled apart she smirked. "Nice try� but don�t think for one moment that that kiss is going to get you out of cleaning duties Mr. Leery." She remarked. Wrapping his arms around her waist a little tighter he shook his head. "There�s just no winning with you." "Oh so you�re finally catching on." She smiled rubbing her nose with his. Letting his lips just barely brush across hers he inhaled her scent. "Someone out there� must be extremely miserable." He whispered lowly. She cocked an eyebrow and pulled back slightly to look into his eyes. "What are you talking about?" "It�s� there�s this saying about everything in the world needing balance. You know it takes Newton�s first law at it�s truest sense." "Meaning?" She waited. He sighed. "Well you know how for every action there is an equal, opposite reaction. Well there are some people who believe that law applies to all things in life as well. Nothing good can happen without something bad happening." She furrowed her brow. "So are you telling me that for every miracle or joyous occasion that happens there will be some horrific event occurring at the same time in order to do what� keep some sort of cosmic secular balance throughout the universe?" He nodded with a Cheshire grin. "Exactly� and vise versa. I mean if something horrible should come to pass we can be sure that somewhere in this world there is something wonderful taking place." She stood there for a moment in his arms listening to what he said and finally she spoke. "Well I hope that you�re wrong." This time it was his turn to raise his brow in confusion. "Why is that?" She shrugged. "Because I wouldn�t want someone else to have to suffer in order for me to have this wonderful feeling inside� I never want my happiness, our happiness to come at the price of someone else�s." She whispered honestly. "Would you?" He stared at her. "No� but I have to be honest with you. I wouldn�t give up the way I feel right now for anything or anyone." Reaching up he gently pushed a few strands of hair out of her eyes and caressed her cheek. "You know if I didn�t know better� I think I might love you." Bright brown eyes looked up sharply into blue ones. "You might� or you do?" She asked. He stared at her for a long time his breathing soft and hesitant wanting to be sure� needing to be sure. The last time he felt this way it was in the midst of an intense break-up. Leaning in he cupped her cheeks and placed his lips on hers. He pulled her into him needing to feel her close to him as close as physically possible in this moment. The kiss was passionate and filled with an emotional hunger that had never been present before and when they pulled apart for breath he let his head fall back and stared up at the ceiling before looking back into her eyes. "I know�I love you." She let go of a breath she hadn�t realized she was holding and closed her eyes as she leaned back and felt his arms hold her up. Without his support she would have fallen. She laughed. "God help me�I�ve never felt so good inside! I love you too." |
 |