WWF Smackdown was quite the event. Edge beat Big Show. Taker and Kane got quite the beating by HHH, RVD, and Angle when they went up against Shane and Angle for the tag titles. HHH again beat the hell out of somebody. This time, X-Pac with a chair. Rob Van Dam, the Whole Fucking Show, Mr. PPV, beat Diamond Dallas Page. And finally, the granddaddy of them all. Booker T, Shawn Micheals, The Rock, and Stone Cold in a four way...non title of course. No one expected Austin to put up the title. Anyway, during this match, Tazz, The Human Suplex Machine, taught Austin a thing or two. Of course, Booker T had to get his dreadlock ass in Tazz's business. Everyone waited for the return of Tazz, and Booker T beat Tazz when he wasn't looking. Well you can be sure Tazz has some things to say to Booker T, Austin...probably all of WCW! Well, we're about to find out, because we open up inside a WWF arena. The fans are ready for anything. And they get something, when the lights turn orange, and a thump, thump, thump is heard. They immediately know who it is...TAZZ!! Tazz steps out from the back, wearing a leather jacket, orange sunglasses, and black sweat pants. He walks to the ring in his trademark way, as the fans are going insane! Tazz reaches the ring, and heads around it. He looks at the fans at his right, and heads to the announcers table. There, he get's a microphone from the ring announcer, and than gets into the ring. He paces around a bit listening to the fans go inside. They start up a chant.
Tazz stops in the middle of the ring, and looks out, smiling a bit. After the chants die down, Tazz puts the mic up to his mouth.
Tazz:Ya' know, I've been in WWF for only about 3 days, and already, I caused a ruckus that no one will forget! In that little 4 way dance last night on Smackdown, Tazz went down to that ring, and I gave people a little taste of me. Stone Cold got choked out, just like I said I would do. I said I'd do it, and it happened. But of course, someone had to be a bitch, and had to attack me from bheind. Someone by the name of Booka' T. Booka', you got some balls brutha'. You got some pretty damn big balls. You attacked someone from behind that could very well damn end your career. You pissed that person off. And soona' or later, that man's gonna be at your thraot! Booka', that man is me brutha! You pissed me off, and I'm gonna beat ya' for it! No one attacks me from behind, and goes walkin' home after that! To tell ya the truth Booka, I would say ya more stupid than brave. Everyone here knows that I could beat ya ass all over the place. You Booka? Your nuttin' but a big mouthed asshole! Booka', I hope ya ready for a big asskickin' on Raw brutha'. Because that's exactly what ya gonna' get. Back in my old ECW days, everyone got their ass beat by me. I was the top dog. Ain't no one ever beat me. And than I came to ECW, and I started gettin' my ass kicked. Why the hell is that Booka? I don't need to explain it. Vinnie knows what I'm talkin' about, and so do you! But I'm not plannin' on losin' anymore. No way brutha'. This time around, it's like the good ole' days, where everyone trembles at the name of Tazz! Everyone pisses their pants at the presense of Tazz. But the fans? THE FANS FUCKIN' LOVE TAZZ!!
The fans go nuts after this. They do love Tazz. After only a moments pause, Tazz starts up again.
The fans again cheer on Tazz. He paces around the ring a bit, than lifts the mic to his mouth.
Tazz: Austin, Stone Cold, whateva'...on Raw, like I said, choked you out. I said what I could do, right there in that ring. I coulda' made it 100 times worse if Booka' T didn't save your ass. Austin, as you can see, I'm gunnin' for ya. I'm lookin' for my chance for my payback, and to take ya' title. I didn't come back just to be a piece of shit on T.V., actin' like I made an impact. No...I ALREADY MADE THE FUCKIN' IMPACT!! I did that when I beat wrapped my arms around ya, and I let go, and your body hit the mat. A loud THUD after I let you go. Austin...YOU PASSED OUT! And lemme' guess Austin. Ya' gonna' come up with some exuse as to why that happened. "I wasn't payin' attention", "I wasn't on the ball". Whateva' the reason Austin, it still happened, didn't it? Austin, you can't escape the fact that I'm just plain better than ya'. Everyone in the lockah' room knows it, everyone out there in the crowd tonight knows it. Even your 90 year old GRANDMA knows it! It's easy to see, Tazz, is just gonna fuck your day up. Austin, you know how you claim to be "Austin 3:16"? Well Austin, I got a little somethin' for ya. Another number kinda like yours. "Tazz 6:32". Do you know what that means? That means I'm twice as pissed, twice as bad, AND TWICE AS FUCKIN' MEAN!!! Austin, your like a child compared to what I can do. You think you have vile acts like bustin' me from behind with your title, bloodyin' J.R., doin' all this shit. But all it is is CHILDS play. You want somethin' to do that'll make you seem tough? Make you seem like the toughest sunuva bitch? Beat me Austin. You take me on one on one, you beat me, and I'll be the first to admit...your the best. Your the toughest. Because to be frank Austin, no everyone can say that they beat Tazz one on one. The Dudley Boyz can't, Booka T can't, The Rock can't, neitha' can half the damn WCW and WWF roster for that matter! Austin, I know your afraid. Who the hell wouldn't be? I'm fuckin' Tazz! I'll end ya life in a second! If I wasn't me, I'd be afraid too. But unlucky for you, I am me. And me is gonna beat YOUR ass Austin! Ain't too much to it. No stipulations. No bullshit. Hell Austin, you can even leave ya' precious title out of the mix. I already said it though...I want ya, and I want ya bad. And I'm callin' you out Austin.
But the question is Austin, do you have the balls to face me? Or are ya gonna be a bitch and hide in ya lockah' room? I wouldn't blame ya' Austin. Your yellah, and I'm cool with that. But you just remember Austin. I'll get ya in the ring sooner or lata'. And the longer I wait, the more and more I wanna' hurt ya. The more I wanna tear you to pieces! Austin, eitha' way, your screwed! So you can take the match or leave it. But like I said...your eventually gonna get fucked up.
Because I'm Tazz, the NEXT WWF Champion! BEAT ME IF YOU CAN, SUHVIVE IF I LETCHU'!!
With that, "If You Dare" starts up. Tazz drops the mic, and exits the ring. He walks up the ramp and leaves to the loud cheering of the fans. After Tazz leaves, the camera fades to a commercial.
Crowd: TAZZ! TAZZ! TAZZ! TAZZ!
Tazz: Booka, I have a feelin' your gonna' be like a fungus on my jock. Like a gnat, buzzin' round my head that just won't go the hell away. You stay buzzin' until I can't even fuckin' THINK straight. I have a feelin', that's what your gonna' be like. Why do I have that feelin'? I'll tell ya why. Because Booka, you want some spotlight. Yeah brutha', you know, and I know, that Tazz is gonna' be the man with the spotlight soon. I'm gonna' be famed, and glorified, and your thinkin' that your gonna make a big mistake not becomin' my biggest thorn in my side. Well Booka', I'll letchu' be that gnat. I'll let you do whateva' the hell you want. But one thing you won't be gettin', is a double-you over me. If your thinkin' that, well you bettah' get your head straight brutha. Because I'm gonna' mangle ya' Booka. Ain't no way, a punk you like is gonna' beat me! Tazz! The One Man Crime Spree! They call me this, because beatin' people left and right is a crime! It's called assault. But it won't be assault when I'm in the ring with ya Booka! It'll be fuckin' legal! I won't have to worry about gettin' in trouble, gettin' arrested. Nah, I'll just have to worry about what happens when I'm done with ya. What happens when your beaten, bloody, and humiliated? I'll tell ya Booka...I go on to Royal Rumble, and I save the WWF's day by singlehandedly beatin' the Alliance's ass! Yeah, that's right. In about a month, January 20th, two thousand TWO!...Royal Rumble will happen. But this Royal Rumble ain't like otha' ones. No, this Royal Rumble is different. This Royal Rumble has guys like Me, hopefully DDP will be bettah by than, The Rock, and Shawn Micheals defendin' the fuckin' company against bitches like Austin, Booka T, Angle, and Triple H. Yoiu know what I just realized? Everyone I just mentioned...they all held eitha' the WWF, or WCW World Title. Except one guy...me. WHAT A FUCKIN' JOKE?! That just settled in my brain, and I realized what crock of shit that is! I beat Angle first day in the WWF. I coulda' beat Triple H not long after, if it wasn't for Tommy FUCKIN' Dreamer! Austin is a little bitch! The Rock a piece of shit! DDP nothin'! Shawn Micheals a girl! And Booka T...A FUCKIN' DEADMAN!! Royal RUmble, I can almost guarentee right now, that every single WCW bitch is gonna' go ova' that top rope, like it or not! I don't know what ALL the stips are, but what I do know, is if you go ova', your screwed! And that ain't gonna be me touchin' the ground! And not to mention if it's like other Rumbles, where you get a shot at Wrestlemania for the title. If that's the case...well...you can damn well forget about anyone beatin' me. Right about now, I'm a pitbull ready to tear at somebody's throat. Add the fact that the Rumble is for the fate of the company I work for, and I'm a ragin' bull ready to charge. Add the fact, that I can get the WWF Championship...I'M A FUCKIN' MONSTER!!!
