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| SERIES I |
| THE END |
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| This is where it all started, the very first episode of Red Dwarf. The Episode starts with Lister and Rimmer going about there duties as vending machine repair men, the lowest ranking job on the ship. Rimmer is also seen failing the astro-navigation exam for the 13th time. The crew of the red dwarf are wiped out by a radiation leak caused Rimmer who fucked up the repair of the drive plate. 3 million years later Lister, the last remaining human alive is relased from stasis by Holly (he had been put in due to his unwillingness to give up his cat Frankenstien for disection). Lister is not alone though, he has the pleasure of the company of Rimmer, who is rived by Holly in the form of a hologram, and the Cat who evolved from Lister's pet cat Frankenstien, who survived the leak as she was safely hidden in the hold. The show ends with Holly setting a destination for earth, " Look out earth, the slimes coming home!" |
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| Holly starts the trip back to earth by going into light speed, which causes the crew to encounter visions of their future selves (future echoes) as time dilates around them. Rimmer, to his great delight, encounters the future echo of what he believes to Lister's death in a rather large explosion "You are about to do the largest splits of your life!!", however turns out to the vision of Lister's son death. Lister goes on to encounter his rather old, white haired future version, who tells him to go to the medical bay where he encounters another version of himself with his two baby sons, Jim and Becksly. |
| FUTURE ECHOES |
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| Lister wishes to go a date with Console Officer Christine Kochansk, there's only one problem.....she's dead. However it would be possible if only he could get Rimmer to hand over Kochanski's hologram disc which he has hidden. Rimmer refuses and declares that it is a black card situation, and says as the highest ranking member of the ship the decision is final. Lister decides to become Rimmers superior, by become a chef, much to Rimmers horror, as it would mean he would have to hand over Kochanski's disc. In a final attempt to stop Lister, Rimmer take on the form of Kochanski, when this fails he changes back to his normal form, but is left with her right breast , to which he replys to Holly with, "Holly I want my own nipple back" squeases breast "There's no rush, Holly"!. |
| BALANCE OF POWER |
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| Rimmer is delighted when Holly brings a floating pod aboard the ship, he imediatly assumes that it is aliens and goes about putting up a quarantine period. Lister then breaks this and realises that the pod is just a red dwarf garbage pod, information that he fails to pass onto Rimmer. While translating the cat bible, Holly tells Lister that he is indeed the cat people's god, and was responsible for setting in motion the events that eventually lead the cat race into a holy war and to their eventual deaths (not bad for a lowly chicken soup machine repair man eh?). Elsewhere Rimmer has dreamed up an entire alien race that are contained within the pod, known as the Quagaars. As Rimmer gets excited, Lister reaches into the pod and puts outs the remains of a Quagaar warrior, which amasingly looks exactly like a roast chicken. As the credits roll, Rimmer is hit by the beam of realisation as he screams " It's a garbage pod. It's a SMEGING GARBAGE POD!!!!" |
| WAITING FOR GOD |
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| Lister pays a visit to Kochanski's former quarters, which were supposed to have been decontaminated by Rimmer, guess wot, he dint do it. This resulted in Lister contracting a mutilated form of pneumonia, which causes his feverish dreams to take a solid form, and soon it is raining herring and a sixteenth century mayor of warsaw exploding in the corridor. Once Lister wakes he is confronted by his confidence and paranoia which have taken human form. Lister's confindence helps him figure out where Rimmer has hid Kochanski's hologram disc, in the solar panels outside their sleeping quarters. While outside confidence admits he killed paranoia, "I killed him, cha cha char", Lister " Wot u mean u killed him, cha cha char", and goes on to try and prove that u dont need oxygen to live by removing his helmet, which results in a exploding confidence. Lister returns with the disc, and sets off to revive Kochanski, as Rimmer warns him it will only bring him misery. The disc turn out to be a identical copy of Rimmer. "You think u had it bad before Lister, now u got it in stereo baby!!!!" |
| CONFIDENCE AND PARANOIA |
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| ME2 |
| Following on from the previous episode, there are now two Rimmers, and Rimmer has now decided to move out and live with Rimmer next door. While packing up Rimmers things, Lister finds a video of Rimmers death, and settles down with the popcorn to watch Rimmer snuff it. Whilr watchin he learns Rimmers final words were Gaspacho soup (nothing unusual there then). While Lister trys to learn about wot his final words meant, Rimmer starts to have problems with his perfect partner, himself, and the two Rimmers start to have blazing arguements with one another ( oh dear, trouble in paradise). Finally Lister has had enough of their bickering and decides to wipe the original Rimmer. As Rimmer waits for death, he decide it is ok to tell Lister the embarassing story behind his finally words. Once Lister has found out the info he wanted, he lets Rimmer in on the fact that he had already wiped the other Rimmer, and was just using it to find out the truth (the Cunning git), and promise not to make his life hell with soup jokes. The eposiode ends with. Rimmer "Lets go home", Lister " Souper" |
| Series 2 to 8 will follow shortly. |