"If Love Is Out of the Question" Author: Hugo "Animal" Chikamori E-mail: hchikamori@yahoo.com Rating: G Classification: Mac (Introspection) Spoilers: Summary: A song heard on the radio makes Mac think about her past relationships and her current one. Disclaimers: The characters Harm Rabb, Jr., AJ Chegwidden, et al. belong in concept if not name) to CBS/Bellisarius. No profit is being made from this story, nor is any infringement intended. Authors Note: In this story, Harm is no longer at JAG but is serving as a squadron commander of a fighter squadron. ************************************************************************ May 28th, 2002 I-65 Enroute to Virginia Beach 1945 EST Major Sarah Mackenzie drove down the long stretch of highway, as she gazed off into the distance transfixed by her destination. She had missed Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. much more than she let on. The radio played mindless tunes as she drove along her mind fixated on where she was going. "This is Kelly Randall of VKPR-1010, and you're listening to another round of the great hits. And here's an oldie by Celine Dion...one of her very first ones, she's ever released, dating all the way back to 1990." Mac sighed as she thought,"Oh, god, not another one of those weepy ballads like 'My Heart Will Go On...'" she murmured as she looked over at the car passing her on her left. "I'll scream if I hear another ballad." A catchy opening guitar melody and a fast beat caught her attention and held it. "You bought me flowers and you sold me a line... You gave me compliments and too much wine... I played that game, I know all the moves..." Eddie and Dalton came both to mind. Dalton had plied her with fake compliments to buy her over to his law corporation. He had plied her with flowers and had sold her with a glib line on how well she would do at his law office. Eddie, her old high school chum had been a drinker and he had plied his alcoholism on her too, encouraged her to drink away her abusive relationship with her father. "You show emotion, but you hide what you feel... You play the innocent, but I've watched you steal. I rest my case, you stand accused..." Mac chuckled as she thought, how double edged those lines were. It could describe all of her relationships, including the one that she had now. 'Harmon Rabb, you sly devil, you. You did act innocent, but you did steal... my heart, that is...' she grinned to herself as she grinned to herself. "He does show emotion, but really, you couldn't get below that facade until now. How much time did we waste, hiding behind our feelings about what we felt for each other." Then there was the literal translation, her cheery mood darkened as she thought of Dalton. He had played her for a sucker, in the Petty Officer Douglas sexual harassment case, and proclaimed his innocence as he calmly copied the files on her desk as she had stepped away out of the room. But Dalton was dead and that was far behind her. "But I must confess, I was quite impressed, You seduced me with your easy charm... And I must admit I could fall for it..." Mac thought, over the six years they had known each other, that Harm, when they had first met, had tried to win her over with his little charming flyboy grin of his. And she had to hold him off with a few frosty words, when all she had been dying to do was to cover his mouth with her lips and kiss him until he died from lack of oxygen. It was true, Harm did have that easy charm about him. Mac shook her head. This was completely crazy, 'I'm getting so into a song. Jeepers, what is the matter with me. 2 years of going steady with Harm, and I'm turning from a gung-ho, knock'em out, Marine into a weepy, sappy female who crys at love songs.' she thought. But she grinned giddily. 'Harm is coming home and I am in love with him. No wonder I feel like I'm ten feet tall today.' "But if love is out of the question... There's no point to this affection. I gotta have more than ecstasy Make me believe I'm all you'll ever need. 'Cos if love is out of the question Put a little heart in your intention. I gotta have more than ecstasy Make me believe I'm all you'll ever need." Mac sighed,'If only I could be all that he'd ever need.' Harm did love her, with all her personality quirks, even with everything that she had come through, the Article 32 hearing, the revelation that she had once been married; sure he had been shocked and a bit angered by the whole thing but they had managed to work things out. 'I guess he was more angry that I went to Farrow than talk to him.' she thought. At least she assumed that he was happy with her, and that he loved her unequivocably. She hoped that he loved her. "You talk in circles, when I need a straight line... You've got your principles and I've got mine... We all need commitment, that's all I ask... (Is that a crime?)" Mac thought 'We wasted so long in circling each other, not wanting to truly say that we loved one another.' Harm did have his own idea of what constituted true love and so did she. They had both had to put aside their preconceived views on what LOVE really meant and had to let down all their barriers. She looked out the window and saw the base close by. The sign NAS Oceana went by. Thinking, 15 minutes 36 seconds...till Harm and his squadron get back to base. "And I must confess I was quite impressed, I was losing to your winning ways... But I must resist, there's no point to this..." Mac sighed,'There was NO use in resisting.' Harm had an overwhelming charm that he could turn on at a flick of a switch and it completely had seduced her. She was, to quote a well known singer,'Lost In' his 'Eyes.' She couldn't deny that she wanted Harm to be back and to be in her arms. She pulled up to the gate-guard and showed her Marine Corps pass. "Good after-noon, Ma'am." "Thank you Gunnery-Sergeant." "You're cleared to go through, watching the return of the Carrier Air Wing? Ma'am?" "Yes, actually, I'm waiting for someone to come back..." she said as she left him pondering that statement. 'Cos, if love is out of the question, I just gotta stop, No point to this affection. I just gotta stop, It makes no sense to carry on like this... If there's nothing between us...you don't know what you miss... No Love..." Mac thought satisfied...to herself...'That's where you're wrong, Celine, I do have love in this relationship, finally...' "There's no love... Baby, it's true..." Mac sighed as she parked her vehicle and checked the time again. 1 hour 3 minutes and 28 seconds. She didn't have to even look at the watch. "There's no love... But if love is out of the question There's no point to this affection... 'Cos if love is out of the question... Put a little heart in your intention..." The song repeated the chorus and faded just as Mac heard the whining of the jet engines over the field. She hummed the last part of that song when she saw Harm's F-14 Tomcat bank over the field. Being the squadron commander, Harm's Tomcat was lead. His first squadron being the Howlers, he had been tasked to command the VF-41 Black Aces. He had succeeded his friend into the command slot when the former Commander was assigned to the Pentagon prior to getting his CAG slot and his eagles. The CAG was riding the boat into Norfolk two days later and Harm and Mac would be there to see him in. The final break was loud and fast as the F-14s swept over the Oceana field. Harm's Tomcat's tires chirped as they let up a faint puff of blue smoke as they touched the runway. Mac's heart soared. Her man was a fighter pilot. His gold wings had taken flight again. She knew how heart- broken he had been that he hadn't been able to fly. But now he was doing what he loved. But through out that loneliness of not seeing Harm everyday at the JAG office, and having to put up with Brumby, she consoled herself with the thought that her man was coming back to her. 'My naval aviator...' Mac said fondly to herself. As the aircraft taxied to their parking spaces, it was all that she could do to keep herself from running to his aircraft. After all she may have been a Marine major, but she was also in love. At an unseen signal, as the last Tomcat pulled into it's parking space, they all raised their canopies. Harm stood up, as the Marine band struck up the "Stars and Stripes Forever" and saluted the flag. All the military personnel, Mac included, saluted in respect to the flag. It was a way of paying respects to the fighting men who had come home. After the band had stopped playing, Harm debarked from his F-14. Taking off his flight-helmet, the red, black and white colored helmet of the VF-41 Black Aces with the playing card on the visor guard, he looked over at Mac, picking her out of the crowd instinctively and saluting her. 'My pilot...' Mac mouthed as she saluted him, oblivious to the stares of the other military personnel on the stands with her. Tears were welling up in her eyes. They were tears of joy as she was happy that Harm was home. Harm grabbed up his helmet bag and his clipboard and headed over to her. He paused down at the bottom of the stands and looked up at her and waited. "Hey, you..." Mac mouthed as she got up and started down the steps. "Hey, Major..." Harm grinned as he gazed up at his Sarah that he hadn't seen for 6 months. They met in a deep embrace and a passionate kiss invoking glares from the senior officers, but the two officers, a naval aviator Commander, and a Marine Major were obliviously in love with one another to care. Besides they couldn't prosecute for conduct unbecoming anyways, due to the fact that they were under different commands. "So, shall we go home...Major..." "Sure thing, Commander. Did I ever tell you how much I love you?" "Not recently..." "Well let it be known, counsellor, that I love you..." "Are you thinking what I'm thinking...?" Harm asked Mac suggestively. "Put your heart into it, Commander," Mac grinned as she gave him another passionate kiss. **********THE END***********