"Conflicts of the Heart" Author: Hugo "Animal" Chikamori E-mail: hchikamori@yahoo.com Rating: PG-13 Classification: Mac/Harm R; Spoilers: None, except whatever comes out of Animal's demented mind... Possible spoilers of "People vs. Mac" (I only caught part of it so I don't know... :) ) You may not like it because Meg appears in this story. No flame-bombs please... Summary: An unresolved conflict between Harm and Mac threaten to drive them apart for good. Disclaimers: The characters Harm Rabb, Jr., AJ Chegwidden, et al. belong in concept if not name) to CBS/Bellisarius. No profit is being made from this story, nor is any infringement intended. (Part 1/???) Mac's Apartment Falls Church, Virginia 1900 ZULU EST Tired, alone, exhausted. Those three words ran endlessly through Sarah "Mac" MacKenzie's mind, as she sighed, relaxing on the couch. The rain was coming down outside. The last few months since the trial had been hard on her. Her dearest friend acted like he didn't even notice her any more. No more late night excursions over to her place to talk over a case, no more laughter at the office. It seemed like there was a dark cloud brooding over the JAG office. Rear Admiral Chegwidden had been courteous and civil about the trial and had kept her on at JAG, however it felt more like a formality than a favor. The situation was uncomfortable and it didn't show signs of letting up. Even Harriet and Bud were avoiding her. She felt alone, unwanted. With that case, she was lucky to keep her rank. Of course, whether a blot like that on her service record would keep her a major for the rest of her Marine Corps career was irrelevant. Her career was finished. It was over. Even a highly decorated officer wouldn't be able to escape the axe on a charge such as the one that she had faced. And Harm had leapt to her defence. Even when she had withheld that information that she had been previously married. Even so, he had defended not only defended a co-worker, a fellow officer, but a friend. A friend who had shared good times and bad times with him. Mac felt like crying. Had she destroyed the friendship that she and Harm had held? It was a friendship that she had treasured. Harm had been everything to her. He had been there when she had slipped and started drinking again. He had stuck beside her even when she had verbally stabbed him with her half-drunken remarks about "your longlost father, neurotic Annie...". The disappointment in his eyes, when he looked back at her when he said those words that had stung so close to her heart. "You're not just a drunk, you're a mean drunk." She picked up the phone, tried to dial his number, couldn't and put the phone back down. Sighing sadly, she leaned her head back on the couch. Maybe she had destroyed the only friendship that had mattered to her other than the close relationship that she had had with her Uncle Matt. Colonel Matthew O'Hara, the Marine Colonel that was tough as nails, who had got her to stop drinking. How disappointed he would have been to know that she had slipped. Harm had never mentioned anything about that incident ever again. Harm was special to her. A stoic, faithful friend. But everything seemed to be slipping away from her. Her career, her dearest friend, her life in general. She had gone from abusive father, to abusive husband, to abusive lover. If she hadn't hid the fact that she was married before, would Harm have pulled away, would he have ignored her like he was doing now? She knew that he was mad that she had gone to Farrow during the trial but she hadn't wanted to face up to Harm with all her ghosts. It wouldn't be fair to him, she had decided, and so she had talked with Farrow. She still couldn't get the words that Farrow had used out of her mind, "Take care of her...Lieutenant Commander." as if he had known that the two of them were close. A tear slid down her cheek as she cradled herself against a throw cushion on her couch. Her dreary thoughts dulled her off to sleep. JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA 0735 ZULU Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb rushed through the office. A dark cloud seemed palpable as he turned a stony gaze over the junior officers' bullpen, as he walked by Mac without even acknowledging her presence. The door slammed as he went into his office. Mac sighed deeply. She knew that she would have to confront him sooner or later. She just wanted it to be later. She sighed again and walked over to Harm's door, 'better to get it over with.' she thought. She knocked on the door. "Who is it..." came a rather snappish reply. "Harm, we need to talk..." "Not now, Major..." his tone indicated a cut-off to the conversation. "But..." Mac interjected. "NOT NOW!!" his sharp tone snapped at her like a cutting bullwhip. "Fine, Lieutenant Commander, if you want to act like that, I'll forgo discussing it with you..." Mac snapped back and retreated to her room, her feelings all in turmoil. They were due in court the next day and Harm's cold stand-offishness was starting to be detrimental to the case. She had her set of arguments for the prosecution drawn up and she had wanted to get Harm's opinion, so that they could coincide their arguments to get the case closed. It was a straight-forward case that would be a slam-dunk if they were working as a team, but this cold-shoulder business made it difficult to create their usual clockwork precision on the prosecution's argument. COUNTY COURTHOUSE FALLS CHURCH, VA 1145 ZULU "LIEUTENANT COMMANDER, that was an open and shut case...I can't see why you didn't ask the crucial question?!!!" Mac snapped at Harm who stonily walked away towards his vehicle. "Lieutenant Commander, the witness lied on the stand!!!" She was furious. That question that he had pointedly ignored was one of the ones that she had managed to find, after three nights of working doggedly on the case, which would break the case open in their favor. But Harm had steadfastly kept on with his own line of questioning that gave the witness a chance to weasel out. Harm looked back at her coldly,"Look, Major, I told you why I never asked that question." "But that question..." Mac stated equally coldly," would have proved that the witness was committing perjury on the stand." "Do you want a new partner?" Harm asked, his blue eyes, icy in fury, "Because, if you want one, you can have one...As of now, you're off the case." He turned, got into his Corvette and drove off. Mac, stood for a long moment, shaking with fury, her eyes blurring with angry tears. 'How dare he do this...' JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA 1230 ZULU EST "Admiral, I'd like to submit a request for a new partner..." Harm said standing at attention in front of Rear Admiral AJ Chegwidden's desk. The Rear Admiral looked at him with stern eyes. "Is there a problem?" "The Major and I are having differences of opinion crucial to the out- come of the case. I feel that it is in the best interests of the client to remove her from the case. I request Commander Imes to be my secondary on this court case, sir." Harm said, his eyes not moving anywhere other than straight forward, staring right through the admiral. "You were fine until a week ago, what has changed?" the admiral said, his countenance not amused. "Sir, there seems to be a unsolvable disagreement as to the approach on this case. I feel that as the primary lawyer on this case, that my approach on cross examination was undermined in this case. The Major feels differently. I feel that she is trying to lose this case. There are several discrepancies in her argument that point to a weak spot where we won't be able to use the witness as a credible one." "It seems to me that you two are behaving like two immature kids who are just trying to one-up each other. Lieutenant Commander." the admiral said gruffly," Request denied." "Sir?" Harm objected. "Don't try my patience, Mr. Rabb..." "But, sir, I then request to be taken off this case." "Request denied." "Request..." "Listen, Mr. Rabb...I don't give a flipping goddamn what your problem is. You have a case to do, or I will find a place for you in the Records Research department of the Judge Advocate General division, do you under- stand me? Mister?" AJ growled as he stood up. "Sir, I then request to resign from JAG and transfer to another division of the Navy, sir. I find that I can no longer work with Major MacKenzie, sir." Harm said, standing at attention. "I'm not going to get rid of you until I approve one of your stupid requests, am I?" replied the admiral. "OK, mister, your last request has been approved, you have 24 hours to pack up your things. You'll take a leave of absence until your transfer request is approved. God help you, Mister Rabb, this could be the stupidest thing that you have done in your Navy career." the admiral said as he glared at the lieutenant commander. "Thank you, sir..." Harm replied as he about faced and exited the Rear Admiral's office, just as Mac came in the door. "Major MacKenzie, your presence is requested in my office NOW!!!" the Admiral bellowed from inside his office. Harm just gave her a stony glare as he headed into his own office. Mac stood in front of AJ's desk as he looked over at her,"Just what the hell is going on with the two of you." he growled ominously. He picked up the folder that was on his desk and tossed it over at Mac."Read it..." AJ grunted. Mac could hardly restrain a choked sob of shock as she read the contents of the folder. "But...I didn't think he was serious..." she said. She was devastated. She thought that Harm may have been angry at her for trying to show him up, and for the case that he had to go through for her, but requesting a change of partner, then requesting a transfer when that request was denied. "Well, it's serious enough that he has requested a transfer." AJ said. "Major, does this have anything to do with the that conduct unbecoming and murder trial that you went through?" AJ's tone was not friendly. "Sir, if it's anything, I should be the one..." Mac started to say. "SHUT UP, MAJOR!!!!" Mac could only stare in shock at the admiral. He sounded enraged. "I don't give a damn who leaves but I will not put up with this sort of nonsense in my command, am I clear on that Major." "yes, sir..." she said in a small voice. "If I had my choice, Major, you'd be packing bags, but the Lieutenant Commander pressed his chances and ended up falling short." AJ growled. "So you'd better consider yourself lucky. Otherwise you will be following him out the door, do you read me loud and clear?" he thundered. "Yes, sir..." Mac was shattered. How could Harm do this? "Dismissed, Major..." The Admiral's tone was dismissive in tone. She turned to walk out the door, her mind in a blur. She had to confront him and have it out with him now. Harm had just carried a box of his things out to the Corvette and was just coming back inside. "Lieutenant Commander." Mac said,"What in the hell is this all about?" "I've resigned my position at JAG. I refuse to work with you any- more." Harm said looking at her with a cold glare. Hurt though she was at that statement she looked at him with a glare. "What do you mean? Is it the fact that I had a question that could have strengthened our position? Did that get you all uptight? Or is it the fact that you resented having to share the limelight?" "Yeah, Major, it's all about you, isn't it?" Harm snapped back,"The fact that you pitied yourself, turned yourself into an alcoholic, flung yourself in the arm of another man when you couldn't face up to an abusive marriage, and then after you couldn't get away from him, you fled with your commanding officer and then you had a fling with him, didn't you?" he continued before Mac could interject."Well, I'm getting sick of having to clean up the messes, Major. When the hell are you going to own up? Frankly, I can't trust you anymore..." he turned his back on her and went back into his office, slamming the door. Mac was shaking,'How could he? How could he fling those things back in her face like that? God, Harm, you are a heartless son-of-a-bitch..." she said to herself as her eyes filled up with tears and she barely restrained a sob as she fled for her own office. By the time she had recovered her composure, Harm was gone. (to be cont.) From: "Hugo 'ANIMAL' Chikamori" "Conflicts of the Heart" Author: Hugo "Animal" Chikamori E-mail: hchikamori@yahoo.com Rating: PG-13 Classification: Mac/Harm R; Spoilers: None, except whatever comes out of Animal's demented mind... Possible spoilers of "People vs. Mac" (I only caught part of it so I don't know... :) ) You may not like it because Meg appears in this story. No flame-bombs please... Summary: An unresolved conflict between Harm and Mac threaten to drive them apart for good. Disclaimers: The characters Harm Rabb, Jr., AJ Chegwidden, et al. belong in concept if not name) to CBS/Bellisarius. No profit is being made from this story, nor is any infringement intended. Author's Note: Note that NAS Dallas was disestablished, please try and believe that it is still operational. This story sounds like it's heading for a quick ending, but no, it isn't. I'm about to put you Harm/Mac shippers through TORTURE. Hey, I'm going through torture as it is writing it... (Part 2/???) Harm slept fitfully that night, his mind involuntarily running over the spat that he had had with Mac. But his pride would not let him recant those statements that he had hurled so hurtfully at her. He could not get the look of utter hatred that Mac had shot him as she called him "a son-of-a bitch" as she fled to her office. The break in her voice. But it was true, he couldn't trust her. He had trusted her with every item in his past. The only reason why he couldn't talk to her about Diane Schonke, his old girlfriend and her murder, was the fact that he was scared. He was scared that if he even mentioned the circumstances, that he would be unable to stop crying. Yet, he had tried to bring all the ghosts out of his past but had she? What new surprises would she fling up in his face next. A new son, as if the time everyone had thought she had a undiscovered daughter wasn't bad enough; maybe even a second husband. He had tried to stand by Mac through everything and yet, she had to go and talk to someone else as if he didn't matter. But it did matter. She was there for him when they went to Russia to search for his father and yet, she did not want him to be there to help her to recover after the trial. Harm felt hurt, left- out and bereft. But all that was over. He was out of JAG and if anything, out of Mac's life. That was fine. Since he had survived holding onto his hope for his father being alive for so long, he had become a survivor. He would survive knowing that his father was dead, he would survive the fact that he had lost his status as a naval aviator, he would survive the fact that he would no longer be a lawyer but a staff officer hanging around the REMF offices some where in the country, and above all, he would survive the fact that Mac didn't love him anymore, that she had ultimately betrayed his loyalty and gone with someone else. Frankly, he didn't care anymore. Mac's Apartment 0118 ZULU EST Mac sobbed against her pillow. What was going on. Why did she feel like her best friend had just died. After all he had thrown everything that she had done up in her face. She was furious at him. Why had he gone and done that? If he had been a true friend, he would have understood that there were some things that she was not ready to talk to him about. But she couldn't deny the feelings that were swirling around in her mind. Maybe she should call him, those feelings said, maybe after awhile he has calmed down enough to have a civil discussion. She dried her tears long enough to pick up the phone and dial his number. This time she did not stop at the sixth digit. Harm's apartment 0119 ZULU EST The phone rang, Harm muttered to himself,'Who in the hell is phoning at this hour.' He had just got himself a call-display to thwart any one contacting him who he didn't want to have any dealings with. Namely one major in the JAG office. He looked at the display, sure enough, it was her,"Let it ring..." he snarled as he turned his back on the phone and headed back to his bed. Mac's apartment 0120 ZULU EST Mac listened emotionlessly at the constant ringing of his phone. Harm usually picked up the phone before three rings. It was now going on sixteen and she finally hung up. 'He doesn't want to talk to me anymore' she thought as she stared at the bed. 'He's gone from JAG, he's gone from my life. I've done this before, left someone and it was never so hard as this.' 'Because you love him.' the voices in her mind said. Her conscience. 'No I don't...Not anymore.' she vehemently denied. Major Sarah Mackenzie cried herself to sleep that night. 3 days later JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA 0830 ZULU EST Rear Admiral Chegwidden got on the phone, dialing Harm's number. "Mr. Rabb...I have a message for you. You are to report to NAS Dallas* at 0800 ZULU Central, in 14 days. By my own personal request, you have been kept in the Judge Advocate General Corps, but just been reassigned to a different office. I want you to come in and talk to me before you leave for Texas, do you understand? That is all..." the admiral said as he left a message on Harm's answering machine. 'Here's hoping he answers it...' AJ thought to himself. 'I don't want him ruining a career just because he's angry with Major MacKenzie.' Harm's apartment 0845 ZULU EST Harm came in the door from jogging. He had taken a different route these past few morning because usually he met Mac along the route that he usually took. He was no longer angry, but he was bitter and that proved to be more of a killer to love than anything else. He noticed the light blinking and instantly thought that it was Mac who had left him a message. But checking through the call-display saw that she had not called him for the past two days. 'At least that was an improvement' he thought bitterly. But the JAG office was there and the extension read 'the admiral's office.' Replaying the message over, he was stunned. Of all the things that the admiral could do for him. Even after the outburst, the admiral was on his side. At least there were friends like him. But he wanted Harm to come in to give him his orders. That would mean that he would have to run into Mac again. He gritted his teeth. Well, if that's what the admiral wanted him to do, than so be it. 'but it can wait for a day.' Harm finding nothing planned on his schedule decided that he was going to go to the video store and pick up an oldie to watch on his VCR. He thought for a few moments and decided on "Casablanca". It would be nice to see Ingrid Bergman. All of a sudden the phone rang interrupting his reverie. Rising to answer it he stopped for a minute, but it was a number unfamiliar. Curious, he picked up the receiver. "Hi..." Lieutenant jg, Meg Austin's warm Texas twang rang in his ear as he answered the phone. "Hello? Meg? What are you calling for?" he said. Not another one of his old friends who had turned their backs on him. "Can't an old friend call you..." her warm voice though thawed his heart out and he answered. "Yes, you can...but where are you calling from?" he asked. "I'm callin' from Texas. You know, Harm, you're a hard man to reach." she teased bringing a warmth back to him that he thought he had lost. "Yeah, well, I just got transferred to Texas to the JAG office out there. So how has life been treating you. Lieutenant junior grade?" Harm teased back. "Lieutenant jg?" Meg sputtered mock-indignantly,"You've evidently got your wires crossed...Lieutenant Commander...'cause you are now talkin' to a 1 hundred percent, Texas born, full Lieutenant...U,Ehs, Nay-vee..." she said in her drawl. "Ahm workin' for the En Ah Es. (NIS) down in NAS Dallas." she stated with pride evident in her voice. "Well congratulations on the other half-stripe. Lieutenant..." Harm grinned. "Remember to remind me to throw you a party when I get down there..." "So, when'll ah see ya?" Meg asked. "Well, you just gave me incentive to fast-track my transfer papers through. What's your number?" Harm said, his eyes gleaming as he thought about his former partner. Meg laughed and gave him her number,"Now you call me as soon as you hear the transfer date, y'hear?" "All right. I will..." Harm replied. "Gotta go...Harm...See ya." Meg said as she hung up. Harm thought,"Ah, Meg...always there...At least I'll know someone down there in Texas." JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA 0930 ZULU EST Harm walked quickly through the JAG office. Even in civilian clothes he carried that aura of authority, and no-one stopped him. Mac's office door was closed. That was good, he wouldn't have to face her. "Sir, Lieutenant Commander Rabb, reporting as ordered, sir." he said to the closed door of the admiral's office. "C'mon in, Rabb." the admiral said,"Sit down." the admiral looked at him without any animosity but there was no friendliness there either. "Yes, sir..." Harm took a seat. "You know that you went over the line, last time." the admiral said. "Now, I don't know what it is that is going on between you and Mac, but I have approved your transfer request. You're going to be stationed at NAS Dallas, at the JAG office there for a six month temporary position which may extend fully. Then if you are not kept on there you will be assigned to Pearl. You're pretty damn lucky considering your stance was pretty much insubordination." "Thank you, sir." Harm said. "Don't thank me, Lieutenant Commander, thank your lucky stars that I was in a relatively good mood that day, otherwise you'd be turning in your two and a half stripes by now and looking for a job in a clusterfucked civilian law office chasing ambulances for a living." AJ growled. Their conversation lasted another two minutes and after being dismissed, Harm left the office, only to run into Major MacKenzie. She did not say anything to him but coldly shouldered past him as she went in to put a folder on the admiral's desk. Harm returned the favor by shouldering past her on the way out the door. Harm's apartment 1145 ZULU EST Leaving a message on Meg's answering machine, he headed for the dry- cleaners to get his duty uniform pressed and ready for reporting in to the commanding officer at NAS Dallas. How happy he would be to see Meg again when he reported in. Looking back over the year that Meg and he had spent working together, they had never kept secrets from one another, like Mac had. Mac was so closed in a box she couldn't get out. Meg had never told him that she had claustrophobia, but that was only so that she wouldn't lose his respect. As if she would be any less of a naval officer, if she had disclosed that to him. As far as Mac was concerned, he didn't know what the heck else she was hiding under her sleeve, or what other skeletons might fall out of her closet, and frankly he didn't care to stick around any longer. Door to Colonel Farrow's Apartment 1900 ZULU EST Mac stood there, torn between knocking and turning around to go away, when Colonel Farrow opened the door after looking out through the peephole to see who was standing out side the door. "Sarah?" he said, looking out at her, rather disconcerted that she was here. "What are you..." "I needed to come and talk with you..." She said, her voice finally breaking. "I really need to talk." She went to embrace him but was stopped in mid-movement by his hands stiffly held out from his shoulders. "Sarah, it's not a good idea..." He said. "John, what is going on out there..." came a woman's voice from the the bedroom. "Nothing, Rita, it's just a former subordinate from Bosnia." the colonel replied." She just wanted to come and talk." "SHE?!!" came the reply from the bedroom."John?" "I told you, Sarah, it's not a good idea..." Colonel Farrow replied. "Now, if you want to talk, I'll talk to you but at the office. I don't want to have my wife upset. OK? Call me at the Pentagon. Goodnight, Sarah." Mac nodded, her eyes blurring, as Colonel Farrow closed the door. She had been rebuffed again. She turned to go. Harm's Apartment 2145 ZULU EST Having given notice to his landlord, sacrificing half a months rent was fine. He could hardly wait to get out of Falls Church and on to Dallas. At least, he could be able to conduct his JAG investigations in peace and quiet. He sighed as he crated his things for travel. He had been given a week to report and he intended to make full use of it. He had some regrets leaving the JAG office, but mostly it was regrets at leaving a fair commanding officer, the admiral, and a good friend, in Bud Roberts. Tiner had also come through a lot for him as well. He sighed again. This wasn't the leave-taking that he had imagined, but well, better this than being stuck having to spend his days with a partner he couldn't stand the sight of any longer. He looked forward to the day that he could get on that plane and head for Dallas. Because he was looking forward to serving under a new commander and he could hardly wait to see Meg again. *****to be continued***** ************************************************************************** My grand-dad viewing earth's worn cogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his house of logs, Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in the Flemish bogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his old skin togs Said things were going to the dogs... There's one things that I have to state- The dogs have had a good long wait. "Perennial Journeys" author unknown **************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------- To unsubscribe from this mailing list, or to change your subscription to digest, go to the ONElist web site, at http://www.onelist.com and select the User Center link from the menu bar on the left. From: "Hugo 'ANIMAL' Chikamori" Sorry... >:) "Conflicts of the Heart" Author: Hugo "Animal" Chikamori E-mail: hchikamori@yahoo.com Rating: PG-13 Classification: Mac/Harm R; Spoilers: None, except whatever comes out of Animal's demented mind... Possible spoilers of "People vs. Mac" (I only caught part of it so I don't know... :) ) You may not like it because Meg appears in this story. No flame-bombs please... Summary: An unresolved conflict between Harm and Mac threaten to drive them apart for good. Disclaimers: The characters Harm Rabb, Jr., AJ Chegwidden, et al. belong in concept if not name) to CBS/Bellisarius. No profit is being made from this story, nor is any infringement intended. (Part 3/????) Two days later JAG HEADQUARTERS OFFICER'S CLUB FALLS CHURCH, VA 1755 ZULU EST Despondent after the firm rebuff by Colonel Farrow and knowing that Harm had left for Texas, Mac consoled herself by going to the Officer's Club on base. At least she could drown her sorrows by having a couple drinks of ginger ale or something. Anything to make the pain in her heart go away. After going there and finding nothing but drunk naval officers, she tucked herself in a corner and kept ringing for more ginger-ales. All the officers were in utility whites and shoulderboards, except for the Marines who were circulating around in Class "A" green pants and khaki shirts festooned with ribbons one-upping the squids. She missed the one squid that could make her heart turn over. She sadly sipped one of her drinks when she saw someone that looked like Harm across the crowded room. Her throat caught, as she gasped. The naval officer was a Lieutenant Commander, and he looked almost like a clone of Harmon Rabb Jr. He had the same grin and cocksure attitude, and he was looking over in her general direction. He knew that she was looking at him and got up. He was tall, maybe as tall as Harmon Rabb. She swallowed as he stood up and walked over. "Hi...there, Major..." "Hello..." she managed to breathe. "Name's...Sarah Mackenzie..." "Well, my name's Mark, Mark Curran..." the naval aviator grinned, his shoulderboards indicated that he was still a line officer." "Well, what brings you here to JAG?" Mac managed to say once she got her tongue to move properly. "Well, I heard of this one pretty Marine Major..." He started to say and he grinned that grin, so familiar, yet so unfamiliar on this person. It made Mac's knees weak. "Uh...red light, Lieutenant Commander..." she said not sure of how to proceed. "Roger, that...Major..." He said, sitting down next to her. "Actually I've never been on a JAG base before and I thought that since Oceana was so close, I'd drop by and visit." "Oh..." Mac replied. She was disconcerted by him sitting so close, his cologne was very attractive and he smelled good. She could feel her hormones going into overdrive. "Well, Commander. So, what do you fly?" "I fly the Tomcat." he grinned. "Nothing else for me, really. The Hornet is too cramped and I like the feel of having a big interceptor under my control." His eyes glinted the unspoken thought that he'd like to have her under his control that evening too. "I had a friend..." Mac said, her sad eyes betraying the fact that she had come here for solace. "He used to fly the Tomcat too, before he switched to the JAG Corps." "Yeah?" he said softly, interpreting that sad look correctly,"What happened that he had to give up flying?" "Night blindness..." Mac replied. "Night blindness..." Mark replied. "You're not talking about Harmon Rabb Jr., are you?" "Yes, I am..." Mac said, her sad eyes filling,"But he's no longer here. We had a disagreement and he asked for a transfer." "No kidding?" Mark asked."Harm was one of the best damn sticks in the fleet. I flew with him in the Tarsiers. I'd heard he'd gone into law, but I didn't know that he served with you." "Oh, really?" Mac said, shocked. It was a small world. "Oh, yes, people used to rib us about the fact that we looked alike. They called us 'twins separated at birth'." Mark continued,"Harm is a great guy..." "Well, he sure didn't trust me...very much..." Mac replied bitterly. "He...what?" Mark said looking at her with eyebrow raised, so much like how Harm used to, no wonder why the squadron had called them twins separated at birth. Mark looked exactly like Harm when he did that. Mac knew that she was passing out information that would probably get back to Harm's ears and forever ruin the relationship that she had once had with her partner, but the bitterness remained like a knife in the heart and she felt the need to twist it. "Well, we had a disagreement on court- procedures and it went to the point where he requested a transfer. He's gone and he's out of my life." she mentally gasped when she heard herself actually admitting that.'what is wrong with me...I'm blurting out my whole life story to a guy who knows Harm, I don't know who the hell he is, and I'm making myself look like an absolute fool.' She stopped herself and said," I'm sorry, could we change the subject." Mark looked like he wanted to pursue the subject a little more, but he acquiesced and said,"Well, why don't we dance instead." Mac nodded. Delta Flight 308 Inbound Texas Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport 1800 ZULU EST Harm slept fitfully on the aircraft. He was a light sleeper when he was not on solid ground. He couldn't really sleep very well, and he didn't like flying when someone else was at the controls. It was a pilot thing. And he was certain that he was not in very safe hands unless his were the hands that were on the control. He looked at his watch and grinned,'Ah, one more hour and I'll be down in Texas. Nothing to worry about any longer...' he grinned to himself as he looked forward to seeing Meg again. He had called her to tell her the flight number and she had eagerly told him that she was going to come and pick him up. Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport 1745 ZULU CST Lieutenant Meg Austin, dressed in civilian clothes, a skirt, white blouse and light jacket stood waiting for Harm to show up. "Hey, there..." said a voice very familiar to her. "Well, hello there, sailor..." she grinned up at Harm who enveloped her in a big hug. Her hands went around his neck as she gave him an affectionate kiss. "Woah...Lieutenant, yellow light, there..." Harm grinned at her. "What do you mean, yellow light, that was an affectionate kiss because I haven't seen you in so long." Meg grinned back cheekily at her former partner. "My, I'm getting kinda hungry..." Harm said as his stomach rumbled. He had not eaten during the flight and his stomach was getting kind of queasy. He wanted to get something into his stomach fast. "Any place veg around here?" "Are y'all kiddin'?" Meg teased him."We Texans eat meat down here..." Harm rolled his eyes, this would be a tough place to eat healthy. He looked at Meg with a very patient expression. Meg relented."Oh, all right, we'll check the telephone directory. How bout we eat at my place, instead. I'll cook up some nice Texas chili, and you can have a big salad? Then you can watch me eat all that Texas chili by myself." she grinned. Harm's expression made her laugh. Harm grinned. "Now, that sounds good. Meg..." He put his arm around her and they walked out to Meg's car. Mac's Apartment 1955 ZULU EST Mac sighed as she and Mark watched a movie on her VCR. After talking all evening and the several dances that she had with him, she was finding herself liking Mark a lot more. "Want another drink?" Mac looked over at her date. Mark looked at her and said,"Naw, that's alright." He put his arm around her shoulder much the way Harm used to when Harm was at her place and they were watching films. 'Maybe, I could learn to like Mark, like I used to love Harm.' Mac thought to herself. Harm was gone and there was no way that he was going to come back to her. At least not in this lifetime anyway. "So, what are you thinking about, Mac?" asked Mark as he looked at Mac's contemplative face. "Oh, just thinking about how lucky I am to meet a guy like you..." Mac replied, trying not to let on that she was actually thinking about Harm. "So, anyways, Mac, I've got a hop tomorrow and I gotta get some sleep before I fall over" Mark grinned as he got up off the couch. Mac got up as well, as he walked to the door. Mac went to him. He turned around and embraced her. Mac kept her eyes closed as their lips met. Throughout the minute that they kissed, her mind was on Harm. 'Why am I lying to myself?' Mac asked herself when Mark was gone. No- one would be as satisfying as Harm would be. How she longed to have him back in her arms again. But he was gone, gone to Texas, all because of some stupid hurtful, prideful things that they had both said to each other. Meg's Apartment 2255 ZULU CST "So, Harm, made yourself all nice and comfy?" Meg grinned as she looked over at Harmon Rabb who had stretched out his 6 foot 4 inch frame on the couch next to the TV. He looked absolutely ridiculous with his stocking feet stuck out a foot from the end of the couch. He had a pillow of hers lying under his head. They both grinned at each other. "Yeah...Meg, this is great...comfortable..." Harm lied. Meg knew he was very uncomfortable. She came over and sat down beside him. Leaning back against him, she grinned, looking up at Harm. "So, sailor, willing to give a female sailor a kiss goodnight?" Meg looked back at him. Harm caressed Meg's cheek and brought his lips down on hers. Meg, easing herself out of her uncomfortable position, she maneuvered herself around so that the two of them were face to face. She hadn't broken the kiss and neither had he. The two of them were lip-locked, with Meg bending over Harm's body lying on the couch. Harm reached his hands over behind Meg's back and pulled her down to him. They now reclined, Meg on top of him and Harm under her. Still in a passionate kiss, Harm ran his fingers up her nightgowned back. Meg gasped as she was more than willing to go all the way with Harm that night, but finally her senses kicked back in and she said,"No. Harm, we'd better not." Harm nodded, and he said,"Yeah...we don't want to do anything that we'd regret later, would we?" "No..." Meg said, her breathing coming back down to normal."Definitely not..." She was kind of disappointed that it hadn't gone all that way, but she was also relieved that she wouldn't have to face Harm the next morning after a night of romping. The next morning JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA 0825 ZULU EST Mac walked into the JAG office, with her briefcase to silence. The air seemed much colder except for the fact that Harriet seemed to still keep saying 'good-morning' to her. But she had for the past 2 days been looking at Harm's empty office. Now, not even Bud and Tiner spoke to her unless necessary. The admiral was the usual grouch, but that was normal, so it was hard to tell whether his attitude towards her had gotten any worse. "Ma'am, case folder for you. Admiral wants it on his desk by 1500 hours this afternoon." no more the bumbler, Lieutenant jg. Bud Roberts was cold and efficient. He had been a good friend of Lieutenant Commander Rabb and frankly resented the fact that his good friend had been transferred out. Even if he didn't know the exact details he knew the reason why and that reason was standing right in front of him. "Bud, did he say anything else..." Mac asked. "Permission to speak frankly, Ma'am." He said, his tone changing not a whit. "While on duty, if you could please refer to me as Lieutenant jg, Roberts, that would make it a lot simpler or Mr. Roberts, Ma'am. I do not wish to get in trouble for familiarity while in uniform. There is a code of conduct to obey, here, and I, for one, intend to obey it..." Bud snapped. Mac knew that Bud was angry at her, and that he resented her, but that last comment reeked of insubordination. "Thank you for bringing that to my attention, Mr. Roberts." she snapped, emphasizing the 'Mister' indicating that she did not approve of his attitude. "Permission to be excused, Ma'am." Bud snapped. "Permission granted." was Mac's response, she said no more because she was afraid that the crack in her voice would be recognizable and damned if she was going to let a junior officer get the satisfaction of getting her upset. She walked into the office and slammed the door. Harriet looked at her husband with a glare,"Just what the hell was that?" She said to Bud. Bud looked stonily at the major's door and refused to answer. "Bud, I want you to talk to me, now..." Harriet snapped. "OK, Lieutenant..." snapped Bud, pulling rank, "In the kitchen, Now..." Once they were in the kitchen Harriet turned around giving him an icy glare,"Just what in the hell were you trying to prove, Bud? You just got a promotion, do you want to tick off someone who can veto your promotion order?" "What are you defending her for?" Bud snapped,"She was the one that drove off the Commander." "Oh, and he's Mister Perfect?" Harriet snapped back at him. God, these MEN were DENSE!!!! "Why do you put him on a pedestal? Did it ever occur to you that it may have been Commander Rabb's problems that could have caused this situation?" Bud hadn't thought of it that way. "Well, Commander Rabb is...was the best litigater around here, and the Major just drove him off. Hell he was the one that had to cover for her, when she got accused of murder. What the heck do you think that was all about, Harriet. You think he just got jealous?" "Yes, Bud, that's exactly what I think. Why the heck don't you men ever ask a women questions?" Harriet threw it at him. "Well, the reason we men don't ask questions is because we get nailed for it. And maybe, Harriet, did you think that the Major wanted to let him know about things. There's things that she hasn't told him, or told us about." Bud riposted angrily as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "Well, a woman's life isn't an open book for everyone to read..." Harriet growled. "Well, if the man is your significant other, or wants to be, isn't it only right that he should know." The two of them looked at each other icily."But they both don't know." Harriet countered. Then they both were silent. "Maybe that's why this whole thing blew up. They don't know that they loved each other...or maybe they knew and just couldn't admit it." they both said to each other. JAG OFFICE NAVAL AIR STATION DALLAS 0730 ZULU CST "Lieutenant Commander Rabb, sir..." the yeoman stated gravely,"The Commander will see you now." He went into the office. Sitting there at the desk, was a face that he had seen only in nightmares, but instead of three stripes on her shoulder boards, he saw four. "Captain...Captain Krennick?" was his stammered reply. Her voice was sultry as she welcomed him,"Well hello, there, Lieutenant Commander, I'm glad you'll now be working with us." 'This was a nightmare...' was Harm's only thought. *******To Be Continued******* ************************************************************************** My grand-dad viewing earth's worn cogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his house of logs, Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in the Flemish bogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his old skin togs Said things were going to the dogs... There's one things that I have to state- The dogs have had a good long wait. "Perennial Journeys" author unknown **************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------- To unsubscribe from this mailing list, or to change your subscription to digest, go to the ONElist web site, at http://www.onelist.com and select the User Center link from the menu bar on the left. From: "Hugo 'ANIMAL' Chikamori" "Conflicts of the Heart" Author: Hugo "Animal" Chikamori E-mail: hchikamori@yahoo.com Rating: PG-13 Classification: Mac/Harm R; Spoilers: None, except whatever comes out of Animal's demented mind... Possible spoilers of "People vs. Mac" (I only caught part of it so I don't know... :) ) You may not like it because Meg appears in this story. No flame-bombs please... Just remember It gets worse before it gets better. :) By #10, you'll be smilin' again. :) Summary: An unresolved conflict between Harm and Mac threaten to drive them apart for good. Disclaimers: The characters Harm Rabb, Jr., AJ Chegwidden, et al. belong in concept if not name) to CBS/Bellisarius. No profit is being made from this story, nor is any infringement intended. (Part 4/????) 6 months later Harm was not happy. He had expected to find a commanding officer that he did not know, but ended up with Captain Krennick. If there was one thing that he was thankful for, was that she had stopped trying to get into his pants. She was now 100% business. She was in line for Commodore and she wanted nothing to stop it from happening. She operated a tighter command than Harm was used to, but he didn't let it bother him. What bothered him the most was the fact that Krennick never seemed to be satisfied with his work. She was always chewing his ass out about something. Frankly he was starting to get really irritable. Why did she end up having to make him work on a case that was not going to trial for 3 months, and have the damned thing done by next week. She wanted case reports every Friday, and chewed him out if they were not in by 1700 hours sharp. He was beginning to see why Chegwidden wanted him down in NAS Dallas. If this didn't teach him a lesson to not piss off an admiral, nothing would. Meg, over at the NIS office at the base, was often seen with the lieutenant commander and it seemed as though they were an item. A lot of the officers in the officer's club at NAS Dallas envied Harm the fact the he was constantly with Meg. Harm himself didn't mind it. Meg was great to be with and he was, aside from getting his ass-chewed out every afternoon, was enjoying his work as much as could be expected. JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA 0845 ZULU EST Mac walked into the office, when AJ thundered from inside his office. "Major...I want to see you in my office now..." Mac sighed. AJ had been giving her mundane cases for the past six months ever since Harm had left the office for Texas. She was getting rather frustrated of the cold-shoulder treatment from everyone aside from Harriet. Harriet sympathised with her situation and tried to give her a 'good morning' or any form of greeting just to give her a lift. Even a sympathetic look was enough nowadays to lift her spirits if only a little bit. "MAJOR, WHEN I ASK YOU TO COME INTO MY OFFICE, THAT MEANS NOW, NOT SOMETIME TOMORROW." AJ's voice bellowed. Mac walked into the office and stood at attention. "You have a new case. Major. A sailor has gotten caught embezzling funds from his ships' petty cash drawer. You think you can handle this one, Major, or should I assign Imes." He gave her a sarcastic look. "I'm sure I can handle it, sir..." Mac said, biting her tongue to hold back a sarcastic retort. The abuse that she had been receiving from the JAG was considerable, and she could have reported it, but she wanted to weather it and see if it would get any better. She had now been seeing Mark on a regular basis. But yet, thoughts of Harm would not go away. It was almost like the thought of Harm didn't want to go away. She was frustrated and it showed almost palpably. "Is there something the matter, Major?" AJ growled ominously. "No, sir..." Mac replied. "Well then, if there isn't anything wrong, then would you mind telling me why you're still standing in front of my desk?" he snapped. "Sorry, sir..." Mac said,"I apologise, my mind was wandering slightly. It won't happen again, sir." "You bet your ass it won't, Major. Now get the hell out of my office and go do your research. And I have to ask Bud to do some research of my own, so he's off limits. Do you understand? Major?" the admiral said... "Yes, sir..." "Dismissed." Biting back her tears, Mac left the office. The cold shouldering had degenerated to outright insults and being treated as if she was a plebe at a military academy. She thought to herself,'It wasn't supposed to end up like this. Not like this...' she thought. Harriet saw her walk into her room and shut her door. Back in Admiral Chegwidden's office JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA 0900 ZULU EST Admiral Chegwidden sighed deeply as what he had said to the Major had replayed through his mind over and over again. He had cut the Major pretty deep there, but he had lost his best litigator and he was angry. Deeply angry. He knew the feelings there were under both Mac and Harm for each other, but why couldn't they both admit it. Now they had gotten stubborn enough to chase each other out the office. Now Harm was gone to Texas. So, he was left with the Marine Major. Well, he was definitely angry with her. 'Damnit, I gotta get them to see the picture. They won't be happy unless they're with each other. When they're with each other they make each other miserable. What in hell is wrong with them?' AJ scratched his fore- head contemplatively as he looked out the window. He knew he had said some hateful things himself to Mac. But she had gotten herself into that mess making the entire JAG command look bad. Conduct Unbecoming coupled with a Murder 1 charge usually, if not a capital case, ended up with the convicted locked in jail and the key thrown away. But Harmon Rabb had managed to beat that murder charge for her. 'She was really lucky' AJ thought to himself 'but she did a really dumb thing. Why did you go to Farrow? Mac?' AJ asked an empty room. 'Why did you spurn Harm. Wasn't it enough that he put his entire career on the line to get you off that murder charge? Did you think that he wasn't good enough to know? Harm earned that right to know. He was there for you all through that trial, yet you felt that he was unworthy to hear what really truly happened. Now you've driven him out of the one place he was really and truly happiest in. Damn you, Mac, Damn you to hell...' AJ slammed his fist angrily on the table in frustration. No, she deserved the cold treat- ment that she was getting. And she'd keep getting it until she wised up and did the one and only thing possible left to do, 'either bring Harm back, or resign herself.' was the thought that went through the admiral's mind. Meg's Apartment 0530 ZULU CST "Harm, will you quit doin' that?" Meg drawled sleepily as she felt Harm's hands going lower on her chest, as he was slowly falling asleep with her in his arms. "You know how much I can't resist you when you try that..." "Well, that was my tactic...Meg..." he grinned at her. His blue eyes glimmered mischievously as he eyed her lasciviously. "Oh, yeah, right, Harm...Not a chance. Not unless I'm married am I going to have sex." she said. "My mama brought me up with morals, you know." "OH..." Harm echoed."I'll be a good boy, then..." he went back to rubbing her shoulders. Meg sighed. Resisting his charms was going to be tougher than she thought. Mac's Apartment 2300 ZULU EST Mac sighed as she embraced Mark Curran and gave him a kiss good bye. "You know I'd love to have you down by Oceana wavin' me off on my deployment, but you know, I hate seeing you cry. Mac." Mark grinned that nervy little fly-boy grin of his. "I know...Mark, I really do. I just don't think it's a good idea though." He stood and removed one thing from his pocket. It was a box. "I know that we've only been seeing each other for about six months, but I think you're a real special woman. My buddies and I always used to joke about Marines, but you taught me different." he said, holding out his grad- uation set of Navy Aviator's Wings. "I want you to have something to remember me while I'm gone on deployment." Mac's eyes filled up. Mark was so kind and gentle. He was exactly like Harm, except that he never cared about the past, what skeletons may be hiding in her closet. That topic never came up when she was with Mark. Mac said softly "you have something that you wanted to ask me, right?" Mark shifted his feet back and forth and seemed to be really self- conscious."Well, Mac, I was wonderin' whether you might be willin' to make me really happy by saying 'yes' to my askin' you to marry me?" Mac was stunned. It was the most inarticulate plea that she had ever heard in her life, but it struck a chord with her that she never thought possible ever again. A thought of Harm went through her mind as she thought how devastated he would be at the news of this. But then she thought quickly that Harm had made his choice, that he didn't love her, and then was shocked to hear herself whispering "yes" to Mark. "Thank you," Mark was saying as he took her into his arms and gave her a kiss. "Now, I'll die a happy man, if my number comes up on this deployment because you have said 'yes'." he grinned back at her. "You'd better go..." she said, her eyes misting up, as he waved at her as he stepped to the elevator."You'd better write. Mark..." "Oh, I will, honey..." Mark replied. Her first thought as she saw the elevator door close was,'I actually said yes.' Her immediate response was to rush into her suite and close the door. She hadn't know what her reaction to Mark's proposal would be, but to not even know what she had actually said as she had whispered her response. But she had to live with the consequences. And she had to tell Harm. He wouldn't answer the phone, but but maybe he would read a letter, she thought as she put pen to paper. Her eyes blurred as she wrote. 'Dear Harm, I'm writing this because I've just accepted a proposal of marriage. I found a man who is everything that I have ever wanted or cared for. He trusts me unequivocably and he is not judgemental. I've always wanted the same for us, but I know that it was never to be. Forgive me, Harm, if I have wronged you. I know that I should probably have given you the chance to listen to my problems, but I never gave you that chance to be there. I was too concerned with my own problems. I know it's probably too late, but I wanted to tell you that I love you. It is too late, and I know that this plea will fall on deaf ears. If you can ever forgive me, then meet me at the place that we met, a long time ago, it seems. Was it really 5 years ago? That man whose proposal I have accepted is a naval aviator. He is off on deployment, so he will never know that this correspondence took place. His squadron will not be back for 6 months. So please respond if you have any feeling left for me at all. If you do not respond, I will be marrying Mark. He is a good man and I know that I will be able to love him as I have loved you. You and I share many memories together and they are ones that I cherish. Believe me that my eyes are blurry with tears as I write you...Please, Harm, give me one more chance. I hope and pray that you will... Ever your Sarah' She sealed the envelope and addressed it, a tear splashing on it wiped off quickly, which blurred a bit of the ink on the corner. She got dressed and left the building bound for the mail-box. Would it reach him. And if it did, would he even bother to read it? 2 weeks later Harm's New Apartment DALLAS, TX 0835 ZULU CST Harm looked at the envelope, a blurry return address, from the looks of it, and opened it. He read the letter, and sat down on the bed in shock. Mac had accepted someone's proposal and was marrying someone else. But also what had shocked him in this letter was the fact that she had admitted that she had loved him all this time. And here he was in Meg's arms. It all fell together now. Why she had wanted to protect him from the disastrous effect that it would have had on their friendship by telling him about her previous marriage. She had wanted to keep the friendship alive by not disclosing her earlier marriage to Chris, an abusing jerk of a man that he figured was not even in the same league as Mac, his Sarah. It was not about her at all, it was about him. She had cared enough to try and protect him from her abusive past. But what was he going to do about it? The letter indicated that she wanted him to meet her where they had met, but never even indicated a time. That meant that he was going to have to call her back or call the admiral to tell her that he'd be there. And he would have to get Iron-butt Krennick off his case. She wanted a dossier file due by next week. Maybe if he pulled double-duty at the library on base, today and tomorrow, he might be able to get it on her desk by next week. His mind whirled in a whirlwind of things to do, and the fact that Mac had dropped a bomb in his life by telling him that she was about to get married. *****to be continued***** ************************************************************************** My grand-dad viewing earth's worn cogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his house of logs, Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in the Flemish bogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his old skin togs Said things were going to the dogs... There's one things that I have to state- The dogs have had a good long wait. "Perennial Journeys" author unknown **************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------- New hobbies? New interests? Sign up for a new ONElist community. http://www.onelist.com From: "Hugo 'ANIMAL' Chikamori" "Conflicts of the Heart" Author: Hugo "Animal" Chikamori E-mail: hchikamori@yahoo.com Rating: PG-13 Classification: Mac/Harm R; Spoilers: None, except whatever comes out of Animal's demented mind... Possible spoilers of "People vs. Mac" (I only caught part of it so I don't know... :) ) You may not like it because Meg appears in this story. No flame-bombs please... Summary: An unresolved conflict between Harm and Mac threaten to drive them apart for good. Disclaimers: The characters Harm Rabb, Jr., AJ Chegwidden, et al. belong in concept if not name) to CBS/Bellisarius. No profit is being made from this story, nor is any infringement intended. (Part 5/????) JAG OFFICE NAVAL AIR STATION DALLAS 1545 ZULU CST "What?!!!" bellowed Krennick. "What do you mean you're requesting a week off?" "Well, ma'am, I have some personal business that I have to attend to in Washington." Harm replied. "I thought you dealt with your personal business up in Washington before you came down." Captain Krennick was not pleased. "Yes, ma'am, I thought I tied up all the loose ends that I had while I was up there, before I came down, but evidently one of them has gotten un- tied again." "Oh, allright, I'll give you seven days, but no more than that. Other wise, I will write you up for being AWOL, understood, Lieutenant Commander?" Krennick barked as she went back to looking at the dossier on her desk. She grinned at Harm,"Does this have anything to do with Mac?" "How did you know about it? Ma'am?" Harm was shocked. "Well, AJ told me the situation of why you asked for a transfer. He could have easily thrown you out on your ass, but well, he asked me for a favor. And I accepted your transfer." She got up out of her seat. "I would suggest for your own good, that you stop seeing Meg. She hasn't told you everything that she is involved with. Go back and do right by your partner. She needs you." Captain Krennick gave him that old sultry smile."And I'm making that a personal ORDER, Understood, Commander?" She walked past him and she gave him a goose on the butt. Smiling sultrily at him she whispered "For old times sake, Commander..." and she was out the door. Harm was shocked speechless, AJ had consulted with his old nemesis? Just what the hell was going on around here? Everyone seemed to know more than he did. What was going on? But just what was Krennick implying when she mentioned Meg. Harm kept mulling that over in his mind as he was cleaning up the last of the case folders. He had to find out and fast before he was back in Washington to talk with Mac. Meg's Apartment 1800 ZULU CST "Meg, we really need to talk..." Harm said as Meg opened the door. She looked rather worried, as she looked around the hallway. "Now's really not a good time, Harm." "Why didn't you tell me that you were married already?" Harm asked, looking at her left hand. Sure enough, there was a ring. During all the times that he had held her hand, he had noticed a white stretch of skin on her fourth digit of her left hand, her ring finger. He had always wondered about that, but it didn't clue in until Krennick had brought it up. "Well, Harm, I didn't really think that it mattered." "Well, you thought it didn't matter, Meg." he said, bitterly. "It did matter...to me." "Meg, what the hell is going on out there..." came an irate yell from the kitchen. "Someone at the door botherin' you..." "Nothing, hun, I'll be with you in a minute..." "He was off on deployment, wasn't he?" Harm said. "Well...he was, Good-bye, Harm." She closed the door, and closed him out of her life. Harm looked coldly at the door, turned on his heel and walked away. There was only one thing left to do. Meg was married, Mac was getting married and had written him the letter to inform him of that fact. He had to swallow his pride, go back and tell Mac that he did love her, that he did forgive her for shutting him out of his life, and hopefully, if he could, if he really could, win her back. He headed for his apartment and the phone. Mac's Apartment 2200 ZULU The phone rang on the desk, as Mac sipped a cup of hot cocoa as she usually did before she went to bed. "Major MacKenzie, here..." She said crisply as she picked up the receiver. "Don't hang up, Mac, I'm calling long-distance." Harm said. "Well, Harm, You'd better give me a damn good reason not to hang up, the way you've been treating me." Mac said coldly, even though she had written the emotional letter, inside she was still hurting, she couldn't bring herself to forgive him just yet. 'He had better show up with flowers, chocolates and on bended knee...' she said to herself. "I know, and I'm sorry..." was his answer. "Well, Harm, just saying that over the phone just isn't good enough." Mac replied,"If you really do have the guts to apologize, maybe you'd better show up in person. And trust me, Harm, IT HAD BETTER BE GOOD. Monday afternoon, where we met, 3:00 PM, be there, or kiss your forgiveness good- bye. Good-bye Harm..." She put the receiver down on the cradle and sighed. 'At least he called back, that's a start.' Harm's Apartment 2100 ZULU CST "At least she's giving me a chance..." said Harm to himself. His world had just caved in when Mac and Meg, his two most favorite women in the world had told him that marriage was in their plans. Meg, married. Mac, getting married. He had been an absolute ass to Mac, what could he do to make it up to her. If he left on Saturday, he could be on the plane and in Washington the same day. Then maybe he could hook up in a hotel and hope that things turned out for the best. Monday Morning Washington DC 0945 ZULU EST Harm paced around the hotel lobby as he thought frantically. What could he do to get the major back on his side again. What would keep her from marrying that other man? His thoughts nearly drove him crazy but he kept pacing thinking of ideas. Then it hit him. 'Send her a gift'. He popped into the nearest gift shop that he possibly could. 'Hopefully they deliver.' JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA 1100 ZULU EST Mac looked out when she saw Harriet grinning as the Fed/Ex post courier dropped off a big bouquet of flowers in a colorful vase. "Oh, Major?" Harriet grinned,"This looks like something..." "For me?" Mac grinned, her mood lightening. Harriet was the only one in the office who seemed to still like her. Other than that coming to the office was hell. Mac came out and picked up the flowers. Nuzzling the flowers and drinking in the wonderful scent of them, she sighed. "Was that Mark that sent them?" "I don't know..." Mac took the flowers into her office and read the card attached. It read: 'I met you in a rose garden, so I hope you like these.' Signed with no name, she knew instantly who it was. 'Trying to win me back with this, are you?' she thought, wryly, 'Well, Mr. Harmon Rabb, it's going to take more than just flowers. Let's see how much you can suffer.' ROSE GARDEN WASHINGTON DC 1500 ZULU EST Harm paced around trying to think of what he was going to say to Mac. His heart felt like it was being twisted around a post and impaled with throwing knives. They had said so many hurtful things to one another that it would be near impossible to really get back on an even footing ever again. What could he really do to make it up to her? If she would even deign to see him. He paced around some more. "So, sailor, are you going to just stand around and trample the grass?" a familiar voice essayed from the bench near the rosebush. "Sarah..." Harm's voice just about nearly caught in his throat. Sarah was dressed in her Marine Corps Class "A"s not the most romantic clothing that one could picture, but she was ever beautiful. She was the most beautiful vision that he had ever seen. "No, Harm, you'd better make this damn good. I don't even know why I'm here..." she said. Her voice did not have the slightest bit of friend- liness and Harm knew that he was back to square one with her. In the meantime, Mac's heart was breaking. She knew that she was being tough on him, but that was how much she was hurting from the way that Harm had treated her. "Sarah," Harm said getting down on his knees to her in front of her. He looked pitiable down on his knees like this. Mac knew that she was really wrenching his heart out. She looked almost emotionless as she looked into his eyes. "You really hurt me." she said coldly."Your attitude really took me by surprise. I thought that we were better friends than this. I may have been wrong in not confiding in you, but you were despicable in your treatment of me when you found out. And you want me to forgive and forget just as quickly, Harm. Well my heart doesn't work that way." "Mac, I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. I thought that as friends, we could talk about anything, but I guess I was a little too invasive when it came to certain things." Harm said. "Yes, you were...Harm, and you know another thing. You were so damn pigheaded that you couldn't see past yourself. Your own jealousy. I went to Colonel Farrow, because I couldn't bear to burden you with the ghosts that I carry." "But, Mac, that's what friends are there for..." Harm interjected,"I know that you want to protect me, but I could have handled the news. I tried to be there for you, but you never gave me that chance." "But, you were immature about it, Harm," Mac replied,"You went and pouted because you weren't the one first confided in. Then you shut me out and insulted me. Damn you, Harm, you hit me pretty low back there. You called me an adulteress and a homewrecker, how am I supposed to forgive that?" Her eyes were rapidly filling. "I was wrong. I never should have said those things. Chalk it up to temporary insanity, chalk it up to diarrhea of the mouth, whatever, but I know that I said it and I regret to the very fibre of my soul. I should never have said those things to you, Sarah, and I'm going to eat those words for the rest of my life." Harm said as he looked deeply into her eyes searching, searching for something that told him that she forgave him. Mac looked at him,"I can't very well, tell Mark that it's off. He is off on deployment and I'm not about to dump him. You've got a long way to come back, Harm...and you're just starting on that journey. I'll forgive you but you're going to have to work to win me back, if that's what you want." Harm looked devastated. He knew that it wouldn't be easy to win Sarah back, but she was now playing him off against Mark, whoever he was. Well whatever Mac wanted, she would get from him. "When does Mark come back from deployment?" Harm asked, trying to make sure that he didn't hit a sore point with Mac ever again. "In six months." was her brief reply. "Six Months?" was his shocked reply. "That's right, sailor, so you got a lot of catching up to do..." Mac said. "As it stands right now, you are way behind." Harm's throat was choked up. He had been in worse situations but right now he couldn't think of a single one. "OK..." he said. "six months to win you back...you got it..." he said, "But you'd better prepare Mark for it..." "Well, squid, you had better keep your mind on the road ahead. It's not going to be easy for you." Mac said, her mind thinking deviously of what pains were going to be inflicted on Harmon Rabb Jr. "Good-bye, Harm." she got up off the bench and walked away from the garden. Harm sat there thinking for a very long time. *******to be continued******* ************************************************************************** My grand-dad viewing earth's worn cogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his house of logs, Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in the Flemish bogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his old skin togs Said things were going to the dogs... There's one things that I have to state- The dogs have had a good long wait. "Perennial Journeys" author unknown **************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------- To unsubscribe from this mailing list, or to change your subscription to digest, go to the ONElist web site, at http://www.onelist.com and select the Member Center link from the menu bar on the left. From: "Hugo 'ANIMAL' Chikamori" "Conflicts of the Heart" Author: Hugo "Animal" Chikamori E-mail: hchikamori@yahoo.com Rating: PG-13 Classification: Mac/Harm R; Spoilers: None, except whatever comes out of Animal's demented mind... Possible spoilers of "People vs. Mac" (I only caught part of it so I don't know... :) ) Meg is now married and out of Harm's life, but will someone new coming in complicate it even further... And will Mac EVER forgive Harm? Summary: An unresolved conflict between Harm and Mac threaten to drive them apart for good. Disclaimers: The characters Harm Rabb, Jr., AJ Chegwidden, et al. belong in concept if not name) to CBS/Bellisarius. No profit is being made from this story, nor is any infringement intended. (Part 6/????) JAG OFFICE NAVAL AIR STATION DALLAS DALLAS, TX 0935 ZULU CST Harm, now back at NAS Dallas, was finding it really hard to keep his concentration on his work. The fact that Mac was able to forgive him eased his heart a little, however the fact that she was not going to let him back into her life that easily was a real heart-breaker. She said that she would not have an answer for him for six months on whether she was going to break it off with her naval aviator fiance. And that ate at him too. Also being in Texas and knowing that Meg had lied to him about the fact that she was married, really wrenched his heart out. Why was it that all the women that he involved himself with seemed to want to tear his heart out and stomp on it? He sighed again as Captain Krennick came up to him with raised eye- brows,"Are you mooning again over something? Lieutenant Commander?" "No, ma'am." Harm replied. "Bullshit..." was Capt. Krennick's caustic response. "You're still thinking about her, and her comments, right? I told you Meg was bad for you. She didn't tell you about it, did she. She married Todd Leeson, a naval aviator with the VFA-87 Valions about six months before you even got here. She was only with him for two months before he ended up at sea again." Krennick said,"So, she heard that you were having problems up at JAG in Falls Church and called you to see what was happening. She's a sly devil in a blue dress...Harm, you nearly got snared." Krennick said, her tone no-nonsense. "Actually, ma'am, I was thinking about Mac." Harm replied."We seemed to have a lot of chemistry and one day..." "One day, and boom, it's all blown up in your face, is that it?" the captain replied."Well, the trick, Harm is that you have to woo her back again or..." "Or, what, ma'am." Harm said. He had never seen Krennick in that reflective a mood. Of all the people that he had thought wouldn't help him out, she was sitting down with him and giving him a lecture on what to do to win Mac back again. 3 months later USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN (CVN-72) On a blindingly rainy night. 2245 ZULU AST (ATLANTIC TIME) The VF-33 Tarsiers F-14 Tomcat made its way through the driving rain that signified the worst weather that Navy pilots could endure during blue- water operations. It was said that fighter pilots hated this type of weather. It made the skin crawl and their nerves edgy. "This is Tarbox 217, On final approach, Homeplate, what's your position. My radar's gone completely fubar." "This is Homeplate, We read you at our 350 degrees." "Roger that." "Cobra, you've got 2.1 fuel." That meant that he was running low on gas at 2100 pounds of fuel. Which meant that he only had a single approach before he flamed out. He would have to fly a really tight pattern. "Hey, Scope, what's happening back there..." Lieutenant Commander Mark Curran asked his RIO (Radar Intercept Officer) "The shit's hit the fan, Cobra, we've got a major problem here. Our radar's gone completely screwed. Homeplate is gonna have to guide us in all the way." "Oh, crap..." was Cobra's only response to that. Banking his F-14 in a 6G turn to come onto final approach he could still not see the landing lights on the carrier deck. The fog and sheets of rain were that thick that visibility was down to zero. The pucker factor on this landing attempt was off the scale. "Homeplate, we do not have a visual, repeat, we do not have visual. We are blind as bats up here...You're gonna have to guide us in." "Roger that Tarbox 217, you're on our radar, you're formed up 5 miles south, What's your altitude..." "We've got 3100 feet." "Climb to 4000 and level." was the command from Homeplate. Cobra climbed to 4000, and levelled. He received instructions by Carrier Flight Ops as to the location of the carrier and thus formed up, he started his descent. It was about 3 minutes later that he saw the bottom of the cloud mass and saw the carrier. It was rocking under very stormy conditions, the waves washed the carrier's side and the deck looked very unstable. In fact it was going up and down, getting tossed in the troughs. On his final approach, the deck started to go down as the carrier went into a trough. Curran knew that he didn't have the fuel to go around and went nose down, doing the one thing that fighter jocks are never supposed to do and that was to 'dive for the deck' because it was just at that point that the carrier broke through the trough and the carrier deck rose rapidly to meet his descending aircraft. The landing gear snapped as the deck met the aircraft and the nose and fuselage met the flight deck with bone-jarring force. It was a millisecond in time, but Curran's life flashed before his eyes before the explosion of his aircraft into a ball of flaming wreckage. His last coherent thought was of Sarah MacKenzie. JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA 1250 ZULU EST Lieutenant jg Harriet Sims got the message from the CAG on board the USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, just as Mac got in through the door. Harriet's face went pale as she read the note. "Mac, I have some bad news." Harriet said. "What..." Mac had just gone to lunch and was coming back in a relative -ly cheerful mood. She looked at the note, and her heart constricted in a tight knot. 'NO, it couldn't be...' 'To Major Sarah MacKenzie, USMC, JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA NOTIFICATION TO NEXT OF KIN: This is to regretfully inform you of the fact that your fiance, Lieutenant Commander Mark Curran, has been killed in an operational accident on board the USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN. Due to a malfunction in the radar system and the inclement weather, the recovery of his aircraft resulted in total destruction of his aircraft and the deaths of both Lieutenant Commander Curran and his Radar Intercept Officer. Lieutenant Commander Curran has no other living relations. Vice Admiral David Kennedy United States Navy, Bureau of Personnel Mac staggered into her office, shutting the door and collapsed into her chair. Hot tears spilled over as she sobbed quietly. His words came back to her. 'If I die out there, I'll die a happy man, because you said 'yes'.' Her thought was,'Did he know?' All the men in her life died. Except for the one exception of Harm, who no matter what, kept going. What was this trying to tell her? That she was stupid to keep trying to ward him off? 'Oh, god, of all the horrible ways to die...Mark...'she sobbed as she saw Mark's or was it Harm's face. She couldn't tell any more. Her tears and sorrow were interrupted by Admiral Chegwidden's bellow from his office. Mac quickly dried her tears, tried to compose herself and headed to his office. "Mac, I heard about the accident. The report came across my desk." AJ said as he looked over at Mac. "We have to assign the two top people in the command to work on this case. We have a feeling that this wasn't a normal operational accident." "Yes, sir..." She tried to keep the quaver out of her voice. "Now, I know that this is difficult, but I'm going to have to recall Commander Rabb from NAS Dallas. He is one of the best investigators and he will get down to the bottom of this accident." "Yes, sir..." Her heart torn open from the death of her fiance, didn't have any emotion left to object. "One more thing, I have just received notification from Captain Krennick that Lieutenant Commander Rabb's early promotion order to full Commander has come through. Captain Krennick has approved it, and has forwarded it to me to for final approval. Now I am going to approve it and by the time he returns here he will have full authority to wear the accroutements of a full Commander and will have seniority over you. Do you have any objections to working with him as your superior?" AJ asked sternly. "No, sir...I will work with anyone that you assign me." Mac replied. Part of her heart was glad that Harm had received a promotion. The other though was torn up over the irony of Mark's death bringing them back to work together again. Was she as torn up over Mark's death as she thought she should be? Or was it just the fact that she was attached emotionally to any man who wanted her badly enough. There was a term for a married woman who lost a husband, but none to indicate one who was unmarried who lost a fiance. She thought bitterly,'I guess it means that I'm officially back on the market.' JAG OFFICE NAS DALLAS 1150 ZULU "Lieutenant Commander, would you mind stepping into my office for one moment?" Captain Krennick grinned at Harm who was just stepping by her office with an armload of files. 'What a coincidence.' she thought as she noticed his disconcerted face. Their relationship as superior officer and junior officer in a professional working friendship had been strengthened now that she wasn't making the moves on him. "Yes, Ma'am..." Harm replied. She grinned at him and told him to sit down. She leaned on the desk beside him and handed him a folder. "Read it." He did as ordered: 'Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. By order of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and by the United States Navy in a joint session of Congress has been promoted to the rank of Commander, United States Navy, effective this day, this year... Signed Admiral Conrad T. Fletcher Chief of Naval Operations' "Congratulations..." Captain Krennick grinned and laughed at Harm's facial expression. He looked as if he had been blind-sided by a truck. "I...I don't believe it..." Harm grinned like a schoolboy who had just won a major award. "Well, believe it, Commander." Captain Krennick grinned. "Welcome to the ranks of those who wear one row of scrambled eggs on their Bancroft cap brims." she said grabbing his hand. "Hey, whoa...there...Captain..." Harm grinned back. "Whoa, what...Permission to give the newly minted Commander a hug?" Captain Allison Krennick grinned. "Ah, what the heck...Permission granted." Captain Krennick gave him a chaste hug. "So, you'd better get your uniform tailored, you know that? Or I might have to put you up on report for being out of uniform..." she laughed at his horrified expression. "You wouldn't do that to me now, would you? Ma'am." He replied. "Get out of here and get that stuff done...NOW!!! Commander..." Capt. Krennick said, the smile on her face belying the growl in her voice. "Oh, one more thing before I forget." she said. "You have been temporarily assigned back to Washington. There has been a Tomcat crash and you have been assigned to investigate it. The JAG appears to feel that the crash might not have been due to operational causes and wants a full investigation by the best people in the division. Your name came up and I approved your TDY papers. OK? I'll leave the folder on your desk. You're to be in Washington on Tuesday. Now get going and get your uniform cleaned and your new rank insignia on now or I may feel tempted to put you on report. Go...do it..." she shooed him away from the desk. Harm grinned as he left the office. Who would have thought that Krennick had loosened up so much. *******to be continued******* ************************************************************************** My grand-dad viewing earth's worn cogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his house of logs, Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in the Flemish bogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his old skin togs Said things were going to the dogs... There's one things that I have to state- The dogs have had a good long wait. "Perennial Journeys" author unknown **************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------- We now have over 85,000 e-mail communities. Check out our new web site! http://www.onelist.com From: "Hugo 'ANIMAL' Chikamori" "Conflicts of the Heart" Author: Hugo "Animal" Chikamori E-mail: hchikamori@yahoo.com Rating: PG-13 Classification: Mac/Harm R; Spoilers: None, except whatever comes out of Animal's demented mind... Possible spoilers of "People vs. Mac" (I only caught part of it so I don't know... :) ) Please don't read this if you haven't had a Valium. This will be guaranteed to tear out your hair. Summary: An unresolved conflict between Harm and Mac threaten to drive them apart for good. Disclaimers: The characters Harm Rabb, Jr., AJ Chegwidden, et al. belong in concept if not name) to CBS/Bellisarius. No profit is being made from this story, nor is any infringement intended. John Clark is a figment from the imagination of Tom Clancy and is not being used except in an entertainment use in this story, not in any money making venture. :) (Part 7/????) JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA 1635 ZULU EST "Lieutenant Caitlin Pike reporting for duty. Admiral." The slender female navy officer stood in Rear Admiral Chegwidden's office looking at the admiral with firm countenance. The admiral gave her a quick once over. She was a lithe, tall brunette, her hair tied in a bun towards the back of her head. She wore very little make-up, not that she needed it to look attractive. "Well, Lieutenant Pike. Glad to have you on board. You realize that we have brought you on as a secondary to assist in any naval investigations and you are well-versed in investigations, by what I see on your dossier." AJ said as he flipped through the pages in her folder. Kate Pike nodded as she stood waiting for her orders. AJ said,"Right now, you can assist Commander Rabb and Major MacKenzie on the Tomcat case." "Yes, sir...is Commander Rabb here yet?" Kate asked. "No, he will be flying in from NAS Dallas today and will be present tomorrow morning." "Where is the Major?" "She has gone to pick Commander Rabb up from the airport." was AJ's reply. WASHINGTON NATIONAL AIRPORT WASHINGTON DC 1855 ZULU EST Mac waited by the NATIONAL ARRIVALS gate for the aircraft that was bringing her former partner in. Her emotions were in turmoil. The grief that was threatening to engulf her was stemmed by the tide of the fact that her ex-partner was coming back to work with her, even if only on a single case. And that case was the death of her fiance. After that tumultuous verbal fight that they had, before he had requested that transfer, she had only felt hurt but now that was tempered with regret for what had happened, and sadness for what might have been. It was also mixed in with a little hope for what might still have the chance of happening. Then she heard the flight arrival called. Looking anxiously to the gate for any sign of him, she waited. In about fifteen minutes he appeared. He was in his dress blues. White Bancroft Cap encrusted with one row of gold 'scrambled eggs', and three one-inch thick gold braids around his jacket's sleeves, he looked handsome. "Welcome back to JAG Headquarters, sir." Mac said as she saluted him. Harm calmly saluted her back. "C'mon, Mac, let's drop the sir-bit, we're not back at the office yet. Okay?" he replied. "OK..." she replied. "Look, Mac, I'm really sorry." he said, indicating the fact that he knew that this was her fiance that had died. "Don't worry, Harm, I don't know, but well, maybe it's better this way because he died doing what he loved." She noticed the pain in his eyes as she said that. Harm was a naval aviator, and it ran in his blood, just as necessary as oxygen. Mac also knew that unless there was a miracle that he would never fly again, unless by some chance his night-blindness cleared up. "Well, I guess we'd better head back to Falls Church. I need to get checked into a motel and get some sleep." Harm replied. "Harm," Mac said,"We really need to talk some more." she stated firmly looking at him. "Mac, are you sure it's a good time..." Harm asked worriedly looking in Mac's face. "I'm sure." Mac's Apartment 2235 ZULU EST They managed to get Harm's luggage in the doorway. She stated. Here's a room that you can use while you're here. "Look, Mac, I don't want to put you to any trouble." "Harm, Look, I know that we've said quite a few nasty things to each other." she said, her eyes tearing up."I think we've been at each other far too long." She looked at him, with those familiar eyes that Harm loved so much. "I want it back...I want us back..." she finally broke down and seized Harm. His strong arms went automatically around her back as she sobbed, her head cradled in his chest. He looked around the room as he comforted her. In 9 months, the whole make of her room had changed. There were pictures of Mark in full uniform, in the cockpit of his F-14. And painfully, there were pictures of the two of them together. Mark, his arm lovingly cradling Mac, who had a look of love that was painful to behold to Harm. Now, Mark was dead, and Mac was calling out to him to comfort her. He did just that in silence. Mac, when she had stopped sobbing, she whispered,"I'm sorry, Harm, I guess, I missed Mark so much and when he died...he looked like you. He told me..." "Yes, I know. I served with Mark on the Seahawk. But that was a long time ago." Harm said. Mac was opening up to him again and his tortured heart was finding the love that he missed so much from his dearest friend and partner. "Well, he looked so much like you, and I guess, I just needed a sub- stitute because the guy that I was so much in love with was being such an idiot." she finally admitted, wiping the tears away with a shaky laugh. "But we gradually after six months, we fell in love," she continued and Harm knew that she was trying to open up to him again. He kept silent as he rubbed her shoulders as she leaned back against him as she kept talking. "I'm sorry, Mac..." Harm murmured as he listened carefully. "I should have been more patient." "I'm sorry too, Harm...We put ourselves through hell these past nine months, didn't we?" Mac replied. She looked at the photo of Mark and she said, her voice still shaky. "Mark was the most awkward guy..." she said... "But he reminded me a lot of you when we first met. You were trying to reach out, cocky as hell, trying to impress me..." She sniffled slightly as she wiped away another tear."He tried the same thing. You guys must have learned it from each other..." "No, Mac, actually, I taught him..." Harm grinned. How she missed that smile and all that was behind it. Mark used to smile like that but there was only 6 months of history behind that smile, whereas Harm's smile triggered emotions that she had thought were long shattered. She laughed, wiping away the tear that had run down her cheek and said "Well, he told me he taught you." "Oh, he did, did he?" was Harm's reply. "God, I miss him..." she said her voice shaking, the grief hadn't passed yet."We may have only known each other 9 months," but there was history behind it. Harm knew that it could have been history that he could have had if he hadn't been so stubborn and pig-headed. She continued." If it hadn't been for him dying, I don't know what would have happened. I did love him." she said. The agonized look of grief on her face, tore Harm's heart apart. He wanted to walk out of the room there and never come back at the sound of that revelation, but he stayed. Knowing that if he abandoned Sarah at this juncture he would never be able to look Sarah in the face again. They both sat quietly remembering. Finally Harm said,"Mac, I know that you forgave me at the rose garden, but will you ever truly be able to forgive me in your heart for causing you this much pain?" "I'm learning to, I want to..." She said sadly,"It's taking time, but I can forgive you." She got up and went over to him. "Harm, Will you be there to help me bury Mark." He looked at her square in the face,"Yes, I will." Harm replied. The Next Morning JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA 0835 ZULU EST Harm and Mac walked through the JAG office, faintly reminiscent of the many times that they had done this previously to their big break-up. Except that now, Harm was her senior officer. Bud grinned up at seeing his old friend back,"Good morning, sir." "Hello, Bud." Bud's jaw nearly dropped when he stood up to look at his old friend and saw that he had the three stripes of a staff-officer commander. "S..sir? You got promoted? Sir?" "Yes, Bud, I'm now a full Commander." Harm replied. Mac grinned shaking her head. "Don't worry, Mac, I won't be getting an inflated ego..." "That's alright, Commander, we already know that your head is twice normal size." Mac replied snidely. Commander Rabb bit his tongue knowing that he would endure a lot more snide remarks before he was back in her good graces. "Commander Rabb..." A familiar voice from a long time back essayed out in the junior officer's bullpen. It sounded like... "Kate?" Harm replied,"Kate Pike?" "Yes, sir..." Kate rose from her desk to come forward. "The three -stripes look good on you, sir." Mac wass twisting her mouth into that funny look again. Harm backed right off. He said,"Thank you, Lieutenant" very formally and looked around for Rear Admiral Albert Jethro Chegwidden. "Harm, Mac..." the admiral growled,"OK, reunion's over, I need you in here..." "Yes, sir..." they said as they gave each other the old familiar 'oh- brother' look. Mac smiled as she missed that look. They both went into the admiral's office, shutting the door behind them. LATER JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA 1445 ZULU EST "Commander, I need you to run this over to the NIS office, sir?" Mac asked him. "Sure, Major." Harm replied. His senior rank did not cause him to pull rank on anyone else. But he did like admiring himself in the mirror at any case. He was still pinching himself that he actually had become a full commander. Mac may have been in grief, but she certainly looked efficient and full of energy that day. She had kept both Kate Pike and Harm hopping with getting things finished. Certainly there may have been ulterior motives in keeping Harm away from Lieutenant Pike. He was happy to see that Mac was in a happier mood. She seemed almost exuberant. Considering the pain that she had gone through with their fight and Mark's death, she was considerably a lot happier now that a lot of their differences had been settled. Plus she had admitted in an off-center way that she was 'in love' with him. Harm was rather nervous and didn't want to tread those waters yet until Mac had come to terms with her dead fiance. Time would heal the wound and then they would have time to settle the 'in love' part of the relation- ship. Harm quietly mused as he walked down the street to the NIS office to drop off the brown manila envelope containing some information. His newly sewn on third thick stripe gleamed brilliantly in the afternoon sun as did his new commander/captain's officer's cap. CIA HEADQUARTERS LANGLEY, VA 1455 ZULU EST Clayton Webb sat at his desk looking over the dossier. The agent in question had blondish-brown hair neatly parted to one side. He had a rather handsome actor's appearance which ironically was much of what his CIA work consisted off. He could appear to be several different personas. That and the honor of serving his country had persuaded him to join up with the CIA. He swore softly once to himself. The folder that he was looking at was that of an agent who had gone to the other side. He was being assigned to sweep this agent out. This was usually no problem for Webb, but this time, the agent who had gone rogue was his old mentor. An older man walked past his door. "John..." He said as the man passed by. The man stopped and then looked in his door. "Clay?" "Can I talk to you a minute." "Sure..." John Clark was well known around the CIA. His exploits were legendary. "Can I ask you to cover me on this case..." Webb asked, passing the folder over. Usually one kept the cases to themselves, but on this one he had a really bad feeling about this one. *******to be continued******* ************************************************************************** My grand-dad viewing earth's worn cogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his house of logs, Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in the Flemish bogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his old skin togs Said things were going to the dogs... There's one things that I have to state- The dogs have had a good long wait. "Perennial Journeys" author unknown **************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is ONElist important to you? Come to our new web site and share with us your stories. http://www.onelist.com From: "Hugo 'ANIMAL' Chikamori" "Conflicts of the Heart" Author: Hugo "Animal" Chikamori E-mail: hchikamori@yahoo.com Rating: PG-13 Classification: Mac/Harm R; Spoilers: None, except whatever comes out of Animal's demented mind... Possible spoilers of "People vs. Mac" (I only caught part of it so I don't know... :) ) Please don't read this if you haven't had a Valium. This will be guaranteed to tear out your hair. Summary: An unresolved conflict between Harm and Mac threaten to drive them apart for good. Disclaimers: The characters Harm Rabb, Jr., AJ Chegwidden, et al. belong in concept if not name) to CBS/Bellisarius. No profit is being made from this story, nor is any infringement intended. John Clark is a figment from the imagination of Tom Clancy and is not being used except in an entertainment use in this story, not in any money making venture. :) Told you TerriJ, you shouldn't give me ideas :) ************************ (Part 8/????) JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA THAT AFTERNOON 1635 ZULU EST Harm, Mac and Kate were taking a quick break from cracking their heads together on this case when Harm looked up and saw Congresswoman Bobbi Latham and Clayton Webb come through the door. "oh no," he muttered as he ducked his head to hide. "Well, hello, Harm..." said the cheery Congresswoman."I haven't seen you since we investigated the major on those charges that 'thankfully' were dropped." Her insinuation was that she didn't think much of the major still being in uniform. Mac visibly soured. As much as she was in grief about Mark, she wasn't about to let that snotty Congresswoman make a move on Harm. Now that Mark was dead, she couldn't foresee anyone else for her, except Harm. They had admitted to each other that they loved one another and so, Mac's jealousy was rather riled up. 'Who else could crop out of the woodwork? Neurotic Annie?' she thought with a full dose of venom behind the thought. ' You probably think I shouldn't be in uniform, a disgrace to the Corps,' Mac stared her directly in the face, the sparks between the two strong women making Harm rather uncomfortable.'Maybe, but you'll never have half the guts that I have. At least I served my country, while you're engaged in snake politics...' Mac gloated in her mind. Kate looked over at Harm and whispered,"OK, remind me never to get her pissed off..." "Yeah, I did once and look where it got me..." Harm muttered back. Admiral Chegwidden stepped out of his office and said,"Well, Congress- woman Latham, what a pleasant surprise, what brings you around these parts? Another round of cutbacks." His voice was pleasant but the words were cutting. It was well-known that AJ did not like politicians, ambitious ones even less. "Well, Clayton Webb and I have a big favor to ask your crew, that case that they are working on has tie-ins to bigger fish to fry." the Congress- woman stated as she looked firmly at AJ. She was not going to settle for his diffidence today. "And you need to use them to catch whoever it is that you want to catch, is that it?" AJ growled. He was not liking where this one was going. "Yes, that's precisely it..." Clayton Webb replied. "Yeah, Webb...sure, while Mac is hurting, use her to figure out where the heck this so-called double agent is lurking, right?" AJ growled at him. "You really have the nerve to come around here and ask her for help at a time like this..." "Admiral..." the Special Assistant to the Undersecretary snapped,"I..." "And, I have had my fill with you, WEBB!!!" AJ thundered,"Until she has some time to recoup herself, you will not come within five miles of her. DO YOU UNDERSTAND!? WHATEVER IT IS IT CAN WAIT!!! DON'T TEST MY PATIENCE !!!" AJ roared. "THIS IS A MILITARY INSTALLATION, GET OFF IT NOW!!!!" Harm muttered wryly to Kate Pike,"Well, that solves my problem of avoiding Congresswoman Latham." he said as he saw the Congresswoman and the Special Assistant to the Undersecretary of State leave the building faces flush with embarrasment and rage. AJ looked over at the three of them."Harm, Mac, you two take some time off, this case won't be over very soon and you look overworked, Mac. Take some time to unwind." "Yes, sir..." Mac said faintly. Maybe AJ was right, that she was working to forget Mark, submerging herself in her work to get away from it all. The funeral was in three days. Her mind spun. She had to act the part of a grieving fiancee. Maybe the three days was what she actually need- ed. "Go..." AJ urged the two of them. "Lieutenant, do you think you can do the little work that's required on this case and bring it up to date?" "Yes, sir..." Kate said,"I think the Commander and the Major need some time off." THAT AFTERNOON IN WASHINGTON DC 1845 ZULU EST They walked by the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial, a black marble structure standing solemnly in the twilight. Harm looked over at the engraving of the names on the wall. He searched for the year that his father had been shot down, and ran his eyes down along the names that were listed there. A catalog of human lives lost or sacrificed to the flames of war. He thought as he spied his fathers name, missing for so long, Now a diamond shape had been inscribed into the black marble indicating that a MIA had now been found. The date of his birth and the date of his death were marked in there, as was the recorded dates of his service in Vietnam. Harm breathed deeply as he traced the contours of his father's engraved name. 'Harmon Rabb Senior' Mac grasped his arm and encircled her hand around it. Harm revelled in the closeness of his partner again. She looked sympathetically at him as he sighed, a tear running from his eye as he pondered what could have been. He was thinking to himself, how Sarah had lost someone that she truly loved, and what could he do to really replace that. Would he be able to live up to her expectations? Would he really be able to give her happiness, the happiness that she so truly deserved after such a lifetime of misery. As if Sarah could read his thoughts, she rested her head on his arm, leaning against him. Unbidden, her arm circled around his waist. They were in civilian clothes now, after having gone home and changing before venturing out to Washington. "What are you thinking? Harm?" asked Mac, her soft voice touching his ear gently. "I was thinking about how I almost threw what I wanted most out the window." Harm replied, with a deep wistful sigh."Y'know, I wanted to go back to the way it was, but the way it was, is just not enough anymore..." "Harm?" Mac was blinking back tears. "What isn't enough anymore?" "Sarah," He turned around so that she could see his face. He brushed the tear that was running down Sarah's cheek away. "I want us..." It was inarticulate, but it was touching. "When I found out that you were getting married, even though we had fought, even though we had said hateful things to each other, nothing tore my heart apart like your letter. Where you told me that you loved another man and that you wanted a family with him." Sarah looked down at her feet, her tears welling up. She had hurt him terribly. Harm continued,"My life after I received that letter, all I could do was think of getting you back. Back into my arms." He reached out for her. Sarah held his hands. He looked wistfully into her eyes,"Is it too late, is it too late for us?" "No, it isn't." She whispered, her voice husky from emotion,"It isn't too late...It's never too late...but I need time, time to lay some ghosts to rest. Please, Harm, be patient, for me...for us..." Harm nodded. Sarah needed time to heal from the gut-wrenching pain that she was going through. She needed to bury her Mark, before she could truly go forward with her life. ARLINGTON NATIONAL CEMETARY ARLINGTON, VA 1145 ZULU EST The oak casket covered by the United States flag, rested on a catafalque beside the open grave. The padre read a passage from the Bible commending Mark's soul to heaven. Harm stood in the crowd, his heart beating rapidly as he watched Sarah up there as the bereaved fiancee. The CAG whose name was unknown to him walked up to Sarah and said," Ma'am, this country wishes to present you with the flag, for the unwavering service and ultimate sacrifice that your fiance gave in the service of his country." Mac bowed her head and said faintly thank-you. How Harm's heart was torn open at the sight. But Mark had deserved the mourners here today to honor him. None of his family was there, due to the fact that he was an only son and his family; his father and mother had preceded him into the grave. His squadron members were there, a few of the older men Harm knew. The CAG was a different one than when the Tarsiers (otherwise known as the Howlers) served on the USS SEAHAWK CVN-78. Mac had mentioned that they should come by separate vehicle to keep the squadron members from talking. He had agreed. But during the time that he had seen her face during the funeral and the service at the gravesite, he longed to go up and embrace her, whisk away the tears that she was shedding. But he couldn't desecrate the honor of the deceased. So he stood stoicly trying not to show how much that even being here was tearing his heart out and stomping on it. But Mac knew, she knew how much it was costing Harm emotionally to be here, not only had he known Mark as a squadron-mate, but as a rival for the affections of his partner. She knew how much it was tearing his guts out to be here and she loved him all the more for standing stoically in the crowd. Not close but just being there for her all the same. That was Harm, that was the way that he was. Despite the fact that she was a Marine, the gun salute made her wince and the first volley of shots had caused her to start. A deep whine was heard in the distance which gradually rose to a roar. Four F-14s in a diamond formation screamed overhead, with the rear most air- craft splitting off going vertical. The traditional overhead flyby, converted into a missing man formation, with the solo aircraft going vertical as if the pilot was reaching out to the heavens above. The roar buffeted the crowd as they all looked up. Mac looked over at Harm, he had his hand in a sharp salute, in deference to her deceased fiance. Slowly the rest of the military in the crowd saluted holding the salute for as long as they could. As one they dropped their hands to their sides at an unspoken signal. It was the final respect that they could give their fallen comrade and squadron mate. And then it was over, only the dispersing of the crowd and leaving the deceased to be buried. Mac stayed, fingering the Navy wings that he had given her long ago. No, she would stay and watch as they covered the man that she had agreed to marry, and send him to his final resting place. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she found Harm standing beside her. "He was a good man." Harm said, his voice choked,"I still remember the times that we flew together. I was his wingman on the missions in the Gulf. We used to always bug each other during Desert Shield about who would get the first MiG." he laughed, but the tears were behind it. Mac listened. There were tales that Harm knew about this man too. Harm had history with Mark as well and she wanted to know more about Mark from his end, because in learning about Mark, she would learn about the man that she loved who was standing there in front of him. "Turns out we didn't get any MiGs..." He said. "We both didn't." As they watched the soil tossed in, she made a move to toss the wings in after to consecrate the grave, but Harm stopped her." Never bury an aviator's wings. That's the only thing that will keep an aviator's soul flying after he's gone." It sounded almost comical, but it was sentimental. "OK, I'll keep it...you'll tell me more about him, won't you?" Mac replied as Harm nodded, her voice catching, 'Why was saying good-bye so hard?' "Because you always will hold a piece of him within you..." Harm responded to her unspoken question. It was as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. The tears came to both their eyes and they both held each other and grieved for the man they both knew. ********to be continued******** ************************************************************************** My grand-dad viewing earth's worn cogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his house of logs, Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in the Flemish bogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his old skin togs Said things were going to the dogs... There's one things that I have to state- The dogs have had a good long wait. "Perennial Journeys" author unknown **************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you like the colors orange and blue, you will like our new web site! http://www.onelist.com From: "Hugo 'ANIMAL' Chikamori" "Conflicts of the Heart" Author: Hugo "Animal" Chikamori E-mail: hchikamori@yahoo.com Rating: PG-13 Classification: Mac/Harm R; Spoilers: None, except whatever comes out of Animal's demented mind... Possible spoilers of "People vs. Mac" (I only caught part of it so I don't know... :) ) The Worm Has Turned...It can only get better from here... Summary: An unresolved conflict between Harm and Mac threaten to drive them apart for good. Disclaimers: The characters Harm Rabb, Jr., AJ Chegwidden, et al. belong in concept if not name) to CBS/Bellisarius. No profit is being made from this story, nor is any infringement intended. John Clark is a figment from the imagination of Tom Clancy and is not being used except in an entertainment use in this story, not in any money making venture. :) ************************ (Part 9/????) CIA HEADQUARTERS LANGLEY, VA 0845 ZULU EST Clayton Webb sat in his chair musing. The week had gone by and the surveillance vehicles that he had put on the tail of his old mentor had found nothing. Had his old mentor gone underground? Eric Sperling, the master of covert operations, the one that he learned from. Clark came into the room,"Clay, I've got news on Sperling? He's jumped..." That was not a good sign." SHIT, I knew it..." Clay swore as he slammed a fist down. "We gave him too much time. Get me the DDCIA...we've got a situation..." Clark moved into action, spinning on his heel, he was gone by the time Clay let out a breath. In 5 minutes, the phone on his desk rang."Webb, this is the DDCIA, what's happened?" "I have news from our trailers, Sperling's hopped a plane overseas. He's headed for Moscow." Webb said. "Alright, do we have anyone that can get to him before he divulges any secrets." was the curt response from the DDCIA. "I can put a sweeper team on him." Webb replied. "Well, we don't want to off him, yet. Maybe he'll wait a couple of weeks to make a move before contacting someone in the Russian Intelligence." the DDCIA ventured a guess. "I don't know, sir, but I've worked with Sperling before, he's not the usual spy. He's a cut above the rest. Every procedure that we use, he knows. So he's going to go opposite of what we do. Hoping that we'll stick to our usual procedures." Webb replied. "Alright, Clay, I'll take your word for it. I'll keep a backup sweeper team just in case you need to use it. But I want this guy alive. We want to get down to the bottom of this thing and fast before we start losing guys on both sides of the Atlantic." "You really think he has all the answers." Webb asked. "I think so. Do you think you can track him." the DDCIA asked. "I'll definitely try." JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA 1300 ZULU EST "DAMNIT!!! WEBB!!!!" R/Admiral Chegwidden was furious."You want to use my people to catch a spook that you guys lost?" "Look, it has tie-ins because this guy is ex-military. We don't know how many connections this guy has." AJ interrupted,"And you want us in on this, because you think that if a CIA spook goes sniffing around the raspberry bush, the bird's gonna fly." "He's already flown, AJ, we don't want the contacts getting spooked. You have an intricate rogue spy ring in the establishment and we wanna shut it down." Webb said, his eyes looking straight into Chegwidden's. "Why do you think that he's ex-military or is this a scheme of yours just to use my guys again." AJ looked as if he could chew nails and spit rivets. Clay sighed, AJ was always suspicious. One of the trademarks of a lawyer, he thought,"AJ, none of this reaches the ears of anyone else. This is Level 8 security. This guy was my mentor. He used to be NIS. Any secrets that the NIS possesses is at risk if this guy gets away. It could be devastating to the Navy and to the country." AJ sat down."Shit, Webb, you really know how to turn things into a clusterfuck, don't you?" He glared balefully at Clay and said,"OK, who do you want." "Who do you think, I want, AJ, I want your best guys." Webb replied. "You want to put Mac and Harm in the line of fire again." AJ snarled. "Believe me, one of these days, Webb, you and I are going to square off. And don't shake your head at me, as if to tell me I'm crazy, because I'm just this close," AJ raise his thumb and index finger of his right hand about a 1/16th of an inch apart,"to breaking your nose again." Webb was not going to back down when the matter of national security was on the line. "Admiral, do I get them or do I have to get Presidential authorization to yank those two out?" Webb asked, staring AJ down toe to toe with the SEAL who was sputtering in fury. "Why...you son of a..." AJ growled. "Go ahead, Admiral, say it...if it makes you feel any better, I've been called every name in the book. It doesn't matter. It doesn't hurt my feelings. But I'm not going to stand here while national security is at risk. So what's it going to be, Admiral?" AJ hit the...telephone intercom savagely,"Sims, get Rabb and MacKenzie in my office, and NOW!!!" he growled into the intercom. Within 5 minutes, Commander Rabb and Major MacKenzie were seated in the chairs beside Webb. "Are you kidding?" Rabb said when he heard what was going on."You want us to go to Russia?" "There's bounties on our head, Webb..." Mac said, she was not too happy with this development. 2 weeks had passed since the funeral and she was slowly starting to get her life back to normal. For the first couple of days she had nightmares about Mark's crash, but it had subsided into a dull memory in the back of her mind. "Look, I know, That's why we've got a surveillance team watching your every step..." Clay reiterated. "I want this seamless..." AJ growled,"I don't want any foul-ups, under- stand. If my two favorite attorneys come back in body bags..." his voice went low and threatening,"I will make sure that you join them." he hissed, his eyes like those of a predator. CHEREMETIEVO AIRPORT MOSCOW, RUSSIA 0800 ZULU EUROPEAN STANDARD TIME "God, I look really stupid." Harm said looking at Mac who had her hair dyed blonde. Mac tried not to laugh at Harm's walrus mustache as he grabbed his English style overcoat. He was dressed like Payne Stewart on a golf course. In short he looked very ridiculous and completely invisible. If the Russian customs agents weren't laughing hard enough at his clothing gaffes, they'd definitely think he was English. That is if Harm managed to remember to throw in an English accent. This was proving to be the penultimate in Webb missions. Mac tried to look her part of a frumpy English wife. "Remember your vocal training..." Mac hissed, "Good afternoon, sir, I need to see your identification." The Russian customs agent raised an eyebrow and whispered something in Russian to his counterpart. "Sorry, my good man," Harm put in the worst Cockney accent that Mac ever heard. She found it really difficult to keep from laughing her head off. But she managed, knowing that if their cover was blown, they were as good as dead. "Absolutely lovely day, isn't it?" she added just to keep their minds off center. Managing to get past customs, they were able to catch a taxi to their hotel. Checking into the Politskaya Prospekt Hotel, they managed to get a room, since they were listed as Mr & Mrs. Peter and Ethel Dumphrey. 'What a name.' Mac snickered to herself. Harm and Mac unpacked some of their few items and Harm opened the false bottom in the suitcase that he had received from Clay. Pulling out his Beretta M96D, he loaded the weapon. Just in case, he eyed Mac, who was doing the same with her own. There was a knock on the door. They looked at each other, slid the slides back on their weapons and Harm went to the door, hand holding the weapon hidden behind the door. When they opened it, they were relieved to find Clayton Webb on the other side of the door. "Good, you're here...Now, we have to get you over to the Embassy." he said. "Why? Aren't we supposed to hunt this guy down." "No, you were the decoys to get our sweeper teams in. We found him lurking around the Leninsky Prospekt, right beside Revolution Square. We got him, but things are getting dicey." Clay said,"We have to get going." "How did you find him so fast." "By doing the exact opposite of what he thought our procedures were ..." Clay retorted,"Now, let's get going before we end up at the bottom of the Moskva." "I'm sorry, but you are too late..." a Texan voice drawled as the guy looked over Clay's shoulder, while jabbing his Makarov into Clayton Webb's back. "I have your precious spy covered with my weapon here. Try anything funny and he'll have a hole in his stomach." "Mark Falcon." Harm growled. "I should have known..." "Y'know. Rabb, you really should shave that mustache off, it doesn't really become you." the Russian spy grinned,"Unfortunately you messed in someplace where you shouldn't have stuck your nose. Sarah, you don't look good in blonde. Brunette is more your color. Now we're going to have to take you to my superiors. I'm afraid, the three of you are in very dire straits now..." Clay growled,"If my embassy doesn't hear from me," "Oh, they will hear from you, Mr. Webb...It just provides us with another opportunity stick someone directly into your organization, much like we did with Sterling. Someone that looks exactly like you." He pointed to the man beside him, all the while covering the three of them with his Makarov. Harm and Mac exchanged looks. Harm knew Sarah was planning some- thing. It was just a matter of time and she would manage to get them out of this mess. Hopefully he could convey that to Clay. <"Get Colonel Belenkov"> Mark Falcon, or Alexander Sokol growled to his Webb-clone. To a passerby who was looking he growled,<"tebya ne ebut, ti ne podmakhivai"> -none of your business- "Da." the man said as he pulled out a cellular phone. As Sokol's attention was turned, Mac slid sideways, pulling out a sheath-knife and slit the guard's throat who was standing near her. As the man's body slid to the ground Sokol growled an epithet, <"Govno"> and started to turn his Makarov towards her. Clay drew his silenced P228 and fired it at the man who looked like himself and the man was killed as the bullet entered his forehead. Sokol drew his weapon and then dove behind a wall as Harm levelled his Beretta at Sokol and fired taking a chunk out of the cheap plaster. "To the staircase." Clay yelled. Mac and Harm ran for it. All of a sudden, Sokol fired two shots at Harm. Spinning around, Harm fell as he was hit. A sodden bloody mess, as the shot exited his shoulder, another shot exited through his lung. Harm slumped to the ground. Mac turned and fired her Beretta as she screamed," NOOOO!!!!" The shot aimed true as it blew Sokol's brains out the back of his skull. "Oh, god...NO..." Mac sobbed as she collapsed over Harm's fallen body. "Harm, please...NO...Don't die on me...I love you...I can't live without you if you die...You can't do this to me...you can't...OH GOD...PLEASE!!!" *******to be continued******* ************************************************************************** My grand-dad viewing earth's worn cogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his house of logs, Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in the Flemish bogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his old skin togs Said things were going to the dogs... There's one things that I have to state- The dogs have had a good long wait. "Perennial Journeys" author unknown **************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you like the colors orange and blue, you will like our new web site! http://www.onelist.com From: "Hugo 'ANIMAL' Chikamori" "Conflicts of the Heart" Author: Hugo "Animal" Chikamori E-mail: hchikamori@yahoo.com Rating: PG-13 Classification: Mac/Harm R; Spoilers: None, except whatever comes out of Animal's demented mind... Possible spoilers of "People vs. Mac" (I only caught part of it so I don't know... :) ) The Worm Has Turned...It can only get better from here...(OK, OK, SO I LIED...) Summary: Their relationship has resumed it's course, but a tragic ending to a mission puts all of Mac's hopes and dreams in jeopardy. Disclaimers: The characters Harm Rabb, Jr., AJ Chegwidden, et al. belong in concept if not name) to CBS/Bellisarius. No profit is being made from this story, nor is any infringement intended. John Clark is a figment from the imagination of Tom Clancy and is not being used except in an entertainment use in this story, not in any money making venture. :) ************************ (Part 10/???) U.S. EMBASSY MEDICAL WING MOSCOW, RUSSIA 1145 ZULU "How is it..." Clay asked the doctor worriedly. "The prognosis doesn't look good. He's got an raging infection. We were able to re-inflate his punctured lung and stitched up the damage. We've pumped him full of antibiotics that the Russian President was able to get a full landing clearance for us on our roof-top. But we have to get him stable enough to move him back to the States." Clay nodded. 'C'mon Rabb, fight...damn it...' Sarah was devastated. She had sobbed in Clay's arms for hours. Frankly she had asked him if she was jinxed. All the men in her life seemed to be destined for some tragic end. Clay hoped for one that it wasn't true. If Rabb managed to fight and recover, he'd see the light that Sarah was to him. "What would you say would be the time-frame before we actually know?" he asked the doctor. Mac remained motionless by Harm's side. The oxygen mask covering his face, and the bandages on his body were the only signs that he was actually fighting the battle of his life. "One week. If his body starts fighting back, we'll know for certain within one week. If not, he could go worse or he could stay the same..." "For how long..." "Months, perhaps years." was the reply. Clay looked at Mac's face. Her eyes were closed but there were tears running down it, her lips were moving. It sounded like she was speaking in Farsi. She must have been praying to all the gods that she could possibly think of to help her loved one through this. It tore Clay up to see Mac like this. First Mark, now this. Clay thought 'How much more could Sarah take?' MUCH LATER It was one week, before anything really happened. But all of a sudden, the doctor stated that there was stabilization of Harm's condition. If Harm could hold his condition steady for one full day, they would be able to move him back to the United States and to a better medical facility. By this time, poor Mac was a nervous wreck. She had not managed much sleep and was constantly by Harm's side. Luck was with them, and Harm's condition never wavered, so they managed to wheel him out along with the portable life-support systems and loaded him onto the helicopter bound for Cheremetievo to rendezvous with a C-141 Starlifter and medical crew onboard. Mac refused to take a regular airliner home and bulled her way onboard the C-141 despite protestations from the Air Force Lieutenant Colonel which were quickly silenced by a menacing look from both Clay and Mac. Mac never left her partner's side once during that long trip back over to the continental United States. HARM'S SUBCONSCIOUS Mac's anguished cry rang in his mind as he seemed disembodied from his normal body. He saw his body slump to the ground. He saw Mac collapse over it, hysterical with grief. But there was nothing that he could do. It seemed as if no amount of strenuous trying would be able to make him get up and walk. He slid into unconsciousness. His spirit saw a bright light and involuntarily started to walk towards it. As he walked, he noticed a figure standing by the wayside. The figure was glowing with a light that seemed to come from within. Harm stopped and looked at the figure, a nagging suspicion rose in his mind as he paused watching the figure. The figure seemed to emanate a familiarity that he had not remembered for years. His memory triggered emotions as he looked into the figure's face. It was the face of his father, long-lost over the skies in the Nam. The young boy in Harm came to the forefront and he went over to embrace his father. BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL BETHESDA, MD 1435 ZULU EST "Code Blue - CODE BLUE!!!" yelled the doctor as he wheeled the machine that would defibrillate the heart. Several nurses rushed in. Mac started screaming "NO...HARM!!! DON'T GO!!!! I NEED YOU..." Clay came into usher her out so that the medical staff could try and do their work unimpeded. Mac was a raging demon. Trying to fight her way loose, as two doctors and a nurse tried to calm her and get her to leave. "Stand back..." the chief medical officer yelled as he rubbed the paddles together. Harm's body jumped as the electrical current hit him. There was no response. "Again...set it up to 150" The officer yelled as he jammed the paddles down on Harm's chest. "Goddamn you...fight!!!!" Mac stood there with eyes streaming, whispering,"Not again, please... God, not again..." Finally after about three tries...still no response... HARM'S SUBCONSCIOUS The figure stopped him,"Harm, son, I am dead..." "I know..." Harm replied."I missed you, Dad. I know that you were in Russia all this while." "How..." the figure asked. "I went to Russia to search for you. A Russian Lady told me." "Ah, Valya." Harm Sr. replied,"She was a good woman and your mother?" "She re-married." Harm Sr. nodded, "I told her to get on with her life if I didn't come back from Nam." Harm Sr. replied. "Your step-father, he is a good man." Harm looked downcast."I guess I just didn't give him the chance to fill your shoes." He was embarrassed that he, Harm Sr.'s son, could be so judgemental. "I should hope not..." Harm Sr. grinned at him,"But, no kidding, son. It is not your time...for a long time yet. You have many things to complete before you can come with me. Make it up to your step-father...spend some time with him. After-all he had some bearing on what you are now." "But, then if I'm not dead, then where am I?" Harm asked. "You're in between the places. Between reality and what lies beyond." "So, I have been given the choice to stay with you, father, so that you can lead me over to the other side, or go back and embrace life?" "You have always had that choice. I think that you will choose the right one." Harm Sr. responded looking at him firmly as he raised a glowing hand to Harm,"We will meet once more, when it is time. But until then, there is a woman there, that needs your love and affection." "There is?" Harm replied with a questioning look in his eyes. "Come..." Harm Sr. said as they started to look in at the scene in the room. The group of doctors around him, trying frantically to get his heart restarted. The incessant shriek of the coronary alarm on the heart monitor cut into the noise of the medical staff shouting out orders. Then Harm saw her. Mac, tears running down her face, mouthing the words,"I love you, Harm," over and over again as if that alone would bring him back to life. "I need to go back." Harm said resolutely, looking at his father with new strength in his eyes."I need to be with her." "Good, son, I knew that you would make the right decision. Farewell, Harm, until we meet again." The figure faded into the darkness and Harm knew where he had to go. BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL BETHESDA, MD 1438 ZULU EST "Any response yet?" the chief medical officer yelled at his secondary. "No, nothing..." the secondary yelled back in frustration. "DAMN, We're losing him," 'one minute longer and there would be irreversible brain damage.' the doctor thought. "OK, we're gonna have to hit him with everything we've got..." he decided. "Now or never...CLEAR!!!" All the medical staff jumped back as the medical officer slammed down the paddles. Harm's body jumped, then they heard a beep on the heart monitor. The heart had started pumping blood through again. Harm was back. The medical officer let loose a breath that he didn't know he had been holding. Mac collapsed into Clay's arms, sobbing with relief. For now, Harm seemed to be alright, but his condition had not changed. 1 MONTH LATER BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL BETHESDA, MD 0530 ZULU EST Mac was trying to sleep, her head cradled on Harm's chest. There had been no change in his condition, but she was not one to give up hope. While Harm had a chance, she would not waver from her loyalty to him. Never, not while she drew breath. When she heard,"Ungh..." a very soft sound coming from her left ear. She lifted her head...to look. She saw Harm's eyes fluttering and the hand trying to move its fingers. "Oh...god..." Tears started spilling from her eyes in utter shock and relief."He's coming back..." She started screaming for the doctor. The medical staff came in, just about the time that Harm opened his eyes,"Oh, god..." he croaked,"What...happened...I've got...a headache..." Mac, her eyes brimming, reached over and held his hand."Don't you ever, ever, do that to me again...in your life, squid..." she whispered as she stroked his hair back from his eyes. "Whu?" was his response. "Don't 'what' me...you comatose twerp..." She muttered, wiping her eyes. "You know what hell you put me through the past month and a half?" "I..was sleeping...you know..." he croaked again..."Water? Sokol?" "Dead..." Mac whispered to him, caressing his cheek,"I killed him." "Uh..." Harm closed his eyes again...but he did not fall back into a coma, because Mac felt his hands tighten around her hand. SAME LOCATION (YOU THINK HE CAN MOVE IN HIS CONDITION?) BETHESDA, MD 1030 ZULU EST Harm slept for about 5 hours, when he woke up again. "Uh...Mac." Mac looked a lot better. She had managed to freshen up while he was asleep knowing that he was conscious now. "Hey...sleepyhead, you awake now?" She said, her bright smile brighten- ing up his day. "Hmmm...much better," He said, his words coming slowly through a pain- ful throbbing in his throat. He didn't know if it was the aftermath of that electric shock treatment...that restarted his heart or the emotion of seeing his Sarah there looking at him with the deep love that was in her eyes at the moment but he was completely choked up and he wished that he had the strength to take her in his arms. Reading what he was thinking, she whispered as she took his hand and held it to her cheek, "I think you'd better get your strength up first..." she whispered, giving him a light brush across the cheek with her lips. "You recolored your hair brunette?" he whispered. "Of course, Sokol did tell me that I looked better as a brunette..." she said. "That was before I blew his brains out the back of his skull." she added with an evil grin. "Remind me never to...get you mad..." Harm quipped weakly. "First thing once you get back enough strength is to give you a shave. You need it and thank god you don't have that walrus mustache anymore. You looked hilarious." Mac said, her joyful banter coming back now that he was out of danger. 6 LONG ARDUOUS MONTHS LATER "Well, Commander, do you think you have the strength back to walk to the door." Mac teased. "Oh, I think so...Now, if you will kindly get that crutch out of the way for me..." Harm grinned that fly-boy grin of his again for about the sixth time that day and it kept getting Mac everytime. "Hey, if you've got the strength, move it yourself..." She gave him one of those looks that said,'Yeah, right...as if I'm going to help you.' "I'm just getting comfortable right here." she said as she reseated herself on the seat. "Hey, I outrank you, Major..." Harm growled playfully, pulling rank for the first time since he became a Commander. "Oh no you don't." Mac replied snidely as she waved a piece of paper. "Wait a minute...let me see that..." "Only if you get off your fat lazy butt and come over here and get it." Mac teased. He got up, moved the crutch and came over. He looked at the sheet, a wide grin spreading over his face."Lieutenant-Colonel?" "Yes..." Mac said, enjoying the look on his face. He pulled her out of the chair. "Hey, this is a military hospital...if someone sees..." Harm muffled her protestations with his lips covering her mouth. "Mmmph...I love you, Harm." she grinned as their lips separated. "I love you...too, Sarah MacKenzie." "Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie..." "How about Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie Rabb..." Harm grinned. "Oh, in your dreams, flyboy..." she grinned but kissed him anyways. Harm had that puppy-dog look on his face. But she knew that she couldn't put him off forever...and she didn't want to. "Harm, look, why don't we get your physical condition back up to where it's supposed to be and then we can talk about it..." she said,"besides..." her voice dropped to a whisper,"I love you...let's take this one step at a time..." as she gave him a loving nuzzle. Harm had to be content with that for now. ******to be continued****** "Conflicts of the Heart" Author: Hugo "Animal" Chikamori E-mail: hchikamori@yahoo.com Rating: PG-13 Classification: Mac/Harm R; Spoilers: None, except whatever comes out of Animal's demented mind... Possible spoilers of "People vs. Mac" (I only caught part of it so I don't know... :) ) Summary: Harm, now having recovered, has a decision to make about his future. Will everything turn out fine? Disclaimers: The characters Harm Rabb, Jr., AJ Chegwidden, et al. belong in concept if not name) to CBS/Bellisarius. No profit is being made from this story, nor is any infringement intended. John Clark is a figment from the imagination of Tom Clancy and is not being used except in an entertainment use in this story, not in any money making venture. :) ************************ (Part 11/11) [trumpets and fanfare] (THE CONCLUSION) (I'M BUSHED, YOU EXPECT ME TO WRITE MORE ON THIS?) 3 MONTHS LATER JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VA 0835 ZULU EST "Harriet...will you get the cake over here..." Mac asked as she ran around trying to get everything ready. "Sorry, Colonel, I've got everything prepared...I picked it up yester- day from the baker's and it says, 'Welcome Back, Commander Rabb.'" Harriet replied as she set it down on the table. They had festooned the JAG office with ribbons and decorations. Harm had come home from the hospital a month earlier and had now re- gained enough strength to come back to work. The transfer papers had been signed by Captain Krennick and Harm was now officially back at Falls Church. 'Back where he belongs.' thought AJ as he looked out on the festivities. He looked over at Mac who was blushing at the thought of her Harm returning to work there, her new silver oak leaves on her collars. AJ sighed, with a rather reflective look that he rarely ever used in his official capacity. 'At least all's well that ends well.' he thought as he looked at Mac again. 'They gave her, her rank and it seems that her career isn't in the tank now. Good for her.' At precisely 0845, Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. walked in the door and was met with "SURPRISE!!!!" Mac and the rest of them ran over, disregarding professional decorum for once and gave him a group hug which seemed to run for several minutes until AJ growled,"OK, OK...Enough..." Harm looked dashing in his blue service uniform as he ran his eyes over Mac who looked even more beautiful in her Class 'A' greens with the Lieutenant Colonel's oak leaves on her shoulders. She grinned at him as she said,"Welcome back, Commander." Harm's voice was warm as he looked her over,"Thank you, Lieutenant Colonel." She blushed as he gave her an affectionate once-over with that smile on his face. 1 MONTH LATER HARM'S NEW APARTMENT 1845 ZULU EST Harm was just coming in the door, as his phone rang. "Who is this..." he asked as he set his things down. "Hi, Harm..." Mac's warm voice was on the other end of the phone..." What do you mean, who's this...don't you know?" "Oh, my so-called new Call-display just broke on me." Harm replied. "Oh, great." Mac teased as she said,"So, how do you like your new apartment." "Oh, judging from the fact that it's right next to your building." He replied warmly. Harm grinned as he said this. He had noticed the change in Sarah's moods. She was more open to him now, and he had noticed that she no longer withheld anything anymore from him. That was a step forward. Thinking deeply about his commitment, he had evaluated over the years he had come to value her friendship and her love for him. He also looked upon her as his dearest friend, the one that he would spend his life willingly beside if she would agree to it. "Hey, why don't you come over..." he said, as he looked over at his kitchen, and walking over to the fridge. "I think I can cook something up." "OK, just so long as it's got some meat in it." she said,"Otherwise, it's off to Beltway Burgers..." "Oh, not again..." groaned Harm."You sure you don't have stock in the company?" "They're privately owned." She laughed. "I'll see you in about 20 minutes." 20 MINUTES LATER "Hey, you're on time..." Harm looked at his watch and grinned. "No, sorry, I'm 15 seconds late." she mouthed as she came in the door dropping off her coat on his coat hanger. "Classified, right?" Harm quipped...knowing the answer. "It's a woman thing..." she said, turning around and planting a kiss on his lips. He sighed as he remembered the thought of what he had almost lost with the pig-headedness that he had displayed. With all the things that had happened over the last 2 years, they were finally back together and on track. He sighed again. "Penny for your thoughts." Mac asked as she watched Harm's reflective mood. "I don't know...I get the feeling that I want to go out for a walk this evening of all evenings." He looked up at the late afternoon sun descending behind the buildings visible from his suite. "Hey, why not..." Mac said looking at him with a bemused smile. She was wondering what he was up to. Harm was more open now, but he evidently wanted to keep her in the dark about whatever he was thinking. "But I'm starved. Let's eat, sailor..." WASHINGTON DC. 2005 ZULU EST Harm and Mac walked along the stretch of sidewalk enjoying each other's company and their closeness to one another, as they looked into each other's eyes. Harm was enjoying the company of his best friend. They had gone through some rough times. But things seemed to be going fine now. Mac was thinking about how Harm had encouraged them to go up to Washington to walk around in the gardens. How the darkness and the close- ness of the two of them walking together inspired some intimate talk as they were walking along. She revelled in the feel of her arm intertwined in his as they walked slowly along the sidewalks looking at the shops, of which a number of them were open since today was a Friday. "Stop here, sailor..." She murmured as she stopped in front of a jewelry store. She grinned up at her taller companion. "I wanna take a look around in here..." Harm grinned. His mind was on something else, something related to the jewelry store, but he wasn't about to divulge it to her just yet. He watched as Mac looked around at rings and necklaces. She oohed at the diamond necklaces which were priced way out of the reach of a commander in the Navy. And he did notice that she did linger a while at the counter where the engagement rings were located. He quietly went over to the dis- play and joined his partner. "See anything you like?" he whispered in her ear? Mac blushed and murmured "Oh, just looking, fly-boy..." but she didn't say 'no.'; that much Harm noticed. Harm grinned as he looked at Mac's face and he knew that she wanted very much to say something but she just couldn't bring herself to say it. "Well, why don't we come back later..." He whispered, implying that he knew something that she didn't. "What ever do you mean, come back later..." She murmured as she took his arm. "Well, I was thinking that we should pay a visit to that rose garden. I've always found it a nice place to contemplate and think..." Harm said with an innocent look on his face as his stomach turned tighter than a vise- grip on a pipe. He was going over what he was going to ask in his mind, but it just didn't get any easier. The male of the human species had a great aversion to asking the one question that would turn their entire life upside down. They relished their freedom and all the trappings that went along with bachelor-hood. Women thought that it was immature behavior, but well, Harm wasn't too sure whether he was willing to give up his bachelor-hood, his devil-may-care lifestyle, the fact that he was able to relax at home and not have to worry about a wife screaming at him to go take the garbage out or go CUT THE LAWN!!! Well, he just bit his lip and Mac and he headed for the rose garden. He knew that he was going to take a big step. Mac enjoyed his company, oblivious to the turmoil going on in Harm's mind as he walked step by step towards the cessation of his bachelor life as he knew it. As they reached the spot that he had 6 years earlier, met Major Sarah MacKenzie for the first time, he turned to Mac, and said,"You know...you remember this spot?" "Of course," Mac said smiling at him with that cute upward raise of the corner of her mouth. Plus she added for good measure a sideways tilt of the head that women use with such great effect on men. Harm fell and fell hard. He could only remember ushering Mac to sit down on a bench. "Sarah," he started, haltingly. "I know that we've had our differences, and that we have put ourselves through hell the last couple years that we've known each other. I just wanted to say,'I'm sorry for any pain that I may have caused you.'" He tried getting the words out through the lump that was in his throat. Mac looked at him, the only thing that Harm could see was the love in her eyes shining through at him. She whispered,"Harm, I've forgiven you with all my heart a long time ago. When you were shot by Sokol, I..." She stopped, her own throat was constricting with the difficulty in trying to get the words through,"I didn't know what I would do without you...Chris is gone, not that I really cared about him at the end, Dalton is gone, Mark died so tragically...I thought that if I lost you too, that I would never be complete ever again." Harm's heart leapt. His Sarah was admitting to him directly that she loved him, with all her heart. His mind said,'ASK!!!'. He went down on one knee."Sarah, you mean the world to me. All I want is to make you happy. Now, I'm not the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world..." he paused, taking her hand. "But you would make me the happiest guy in the world, if you would consent to becoming Sarah MacKenzie Rabb." Mac's jaw dropped open, she had not been expecting this, even though she knew that she loved Harm. Her eyes filled as she digested the words that Harm had just spoken. "That is the most eloquent proposal, I have ever heard..." she said her voice choking up. Harm was just about dying. He hadn't heard a 'yes' yet. This was even worse than the butterflies he had gotten before a combat sortie in the Gulf War. Sarah's eyes filled as the tears started to slip down her cheek,"Harm, I love you...I really do..." "Say 'yes'. Sarah..." Harm urged her, his hand caressing hers. "Do you really love me?" Sarah said her hand caressing Harm's cheek. "After all that has happened between us?" Her voice was cracking. This was just getting too emotionally nerve-wracking. "I love you, Sarah, with all my heart..." Harm replied...he was just about frantic. Anything to get a 'yes' out of her. "Then...Harm..." Sarah said. She sobbed out in joy..."YES, I accept." "God, I love you, Sarah..." Harm said as the two embraced and their lips met, the two of them alone in the garden that marked their meeting and now marked their commitment to each other. The fading light showed two people lost in each other's love for one another as they embraced, oblivious to the sun setting on the quieting city. THE END. ************************************************************************** My grand-dad viewing earth's worn cogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his house of logs, Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in the Flemish bogs Said things were going to the dogs... His grand-dad in his old skin togs Said things were going to the dogs... There's one things that I have to state- The dogs have had a good long wait. "Perennial Journeys" author unknown **************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------- We are proud as punch of our new web site! http://www.onelist.com Onelist: The leading provider of free email community services