bullshit
Life is full of bullshit
That I know is true
And people will always put you down
And people will always judge you
And people will always compare you to perfection
And what can you do?
So I’m not the model of a perfect individual
So my hands are scarred
So my face is blemished
But what gives you the right to open your mouth?
What gives you the right?
What do you think you’re doing?
By pointing out my imperfections.
Do you think you’ll make me change?
Do you think your telling me something I don’t know?
But I won’t change for you.
I won’t change for your stuck up comments.
I won’t change unless I want to.
So remember to keep your hole shut
And when you think you’re helping,
By reminding me of my scars
Just remember your own,
And know we all have ours.
© HaZeL
My Sin
I puff my cigarette while the lights flicker
And my jaw hurts from smoking too much;
I hear the two in the bedroom bicker
And I sit and snicker and such
The music pounds against my head
Knocking to get in
I push it away and think of what she said
And I wonder about my sin
My memories are my only hold
Unto this mundane reality
And I make myself seem bold
And forget my morality
So is it all you wanted it to be?
You said it’d be so easy
Like catching flies with honey
Your sleazy, sleazy, honey.
I drank from your well
I let myself be tainted
The black water tasted swell
And black I was then painted
Black, like my sin;
I was painted.
© HaZeL
Satan's Lighter
Satan’s lighter tricked me
Into thinking he was my friend
It held my prized possessions
But brought destruction in the end
It scorched my foes
And saved my loved ones
And assured me all would be good
But it never should
I wasn’t sure if to trust it
For I knew the devils trickery
But I thought it couldn’t hurt
And in the end it showed me
It beat me without feeling
And bled me with out regret
And gagged my screams
And said to me to forget
My life before this moment
Which was nothing but pain.
But from now on hence he said
You’ll be insane.
© HaZeL
Deep Sides
We all have sides deep down in our flesh and
Though we may deny them to ourselves; they spring up
In the late of the night and torture our daily thoughts.
Thoughts of things we long for so. A lover’s arms
Draped ‘round our neck, the ease of simple times long
Past. Then our true hopes do show, and bring tears to
Our eyes by revealing so fast.
we wonder how we came to this moment
Of choices we made that brought us joy
Or roads we took that led to torment
Deep in the night our minds do ponder
Of wishes and dreams we sit and wonder
Where would we be if such things were true?
Would I still be me and would you still be you?
If I had done this one simple chore
Would this life be grand?
Or would it be a bore?
And near to sleep we do dwell
Should we speak of our dreams?
Should we tell?
But these secrets are all we have as our own
And would the joy of dreaming be ruined if it were known?
By then we sleep and smile
And rest away our strife
For dreams are God’s gift of giving us
What we can’t have in life.
© HaZeL
Unsolved Mystery
i’ve dreamed of you too long my dear
This loneliness is affecting my life I fear
Your image is burnt-black in my mind
But your heart I’ve yet to find
What is the answer for your life?
Why do you never suffer my strife?
So happy, you are, cause your life is free
And cry, do I, ‘cause you’re all I want to be
Your mind is a puzzle of emotion
Wide as the land, and deep as the ocean
I’ve tried my life to figure it out
But I still don’t know all you’re about
Your mystery only makes me want you more
Makes my heart wretch, and my eyes sore
And in years to come I wish to remember you to be
My life’s most beautiful unsolved mystery.
© HaZeL
Untitled
hums of pitiful loneliness trill through the air
Faces flash through my mind
Thoughts too hopeless are my despair
And illusions of mine are mimed.
The time has come I repeat
That the deep secrets be released
But your smile is such a sweet defeat
That reminds me my pain will never be ceased
Though mascara stains my sheet
The time is so soon near
That my whole will feel complete
And most these tears will disappear.
© HaZeL
21
So your 21 so u can get me hooch
So u think I should give a shit
Think you'll get some cooch
Don't play the game this way
We know you're so blind
You think u should get some pay
For being so fucking kind?
Inside all u want is cheap sex
Inside all I want is hard sex
But im not blind and im not deaf
And I can see clearly
Yer not worth the fellatio
Don't matter how hard yer dick is
Don't matter how u hump yer pillow
Yer a fat, pathetic, drooling
Incompetent hoe.
No matter how drunk u make me
No maker how much E we take
The thought of
Your fat rolls on top of me
Makes my tummy ache
Stringley hair and…… doubled chined
Bitch get your hand off my fucking breast!
I screamed as u stupidly grinned
And…… continued to drool at my chest.
So the other day I was driving with yer friend
and suddenly he asked that I bend
OVER! Suck his dick??
Bitch please yer crawling on yer
Hands……. an knees…
I know im; nice and tender
Juicy and sweet
But im poison on the inside
And I aint yer fucking piece of meat
So shove it
I don't really care where
I hope yer nuts get tied up
In all yer pubic hair.
The hair on yer back
Makes me cringe
U try to take advantage of me
While I was on a binge
What the fucks wrong with yer mind
You say yer a romantic.
You majored in acting…
But all your acting like…… is a prick.
You brought me to your house
Showed me off real nice
Pretty in pink
And twice as fucking nice
We went to yer room
Cause u wanted to play
But the only one who got lucky that day……..
Was yer sister’s fiancée.
Try to tempt me
With a 12 pack
Hell I need a man
With half of that.
Yer friends all complimented
on my body…
whistled to u
and said u got a hottie
Where’s yer hottie now bitch?
Where’s yer hoe?
Better try finding someone else
For a blow.
Suck and swallow and lick it up real good
If u think that yer fucking sick
Id never let my mouth
come in contact with yer prick
you buy me shit
so ill stay at yer side
but all u think yer paying fer
is a fucking ride
you like my ass my body and tits.
That’s no surprise
Cause guess what??…….
So do all the other guys!
They maybe 30 er 40 years old
But at least their fucking dicks
Don’t have mold!
Get yer hands, outta my pants twit!
U better go take lessons
On how to please a woman
Before u start that shit.
And get yer little hard-on
Outta my back!
And please remove yer knee
From my butt crack
Yer smelly and lazy and a hoe
And yer dicks so small
Only yer balls show.
What u thinking sticking that at me
There's none to hold there's none hangin there
I don’t see how u can pee
You expect me to suck something I cant see!
I'm scared when you come close to kiss
as clearly as I can see
Your pimples are targeted
To puss all over me!
© HaZeL
DreamWoods
Cling Cling Cling
Goes the faerie king,
On wings as small as a finch bird’s feather.
Bells on his toes
Signal his foes,
And show his fearless courage.
While naked nymphs run a giggling
Around, over, and atop their gully,
They run through the stream,
Kick their legs up and scream,
And laugh ‘til their faces turn blue.
The somber, chestnut-haired woman
Stares out from under her tree limbs.
the tree dryad sighs with a frown,
Hoping her tree will never be cut down,
And that she will live into eternity.
© HaZeL
The Days
Sing a tune my greatest friend
Of how the days will never end
Sing it long and sing it proud
Let my heart ring with it’s sound
No less days to be heard
From heavens pearly gates
To the demons scorching flames
We shake the Earth’s very plates.
A melody with no end or
No side road in sight-
No overgrown bend
But it’s path we know is right.
On it rolls through our lives
We know not where it goes
We feel no happiness on our way
But in our souls it flows.
© HaZeL
Flowers and Feathers
Surprising to see how little we do know
Of cherished people ‘til they show
Their hearts to us in such a circumstance
Where-as things might rise beneath their pants
A pretty face is all they need to see
With a slim sexy body I no longer wish belonged to me
So here is your flower and feather good sir
Take back both to give to her
Your shallow heart no longer appeals
No more do I wish to know how your kiss feels
This bet is lost I will admit
You’re no different than another brainless twit
To drool at a poster model figure all day
And sigh at a smile to make you shiver that way
I heard you speak to her in that tone
I covered my ears to silence that drone
I was never more disgusted in all my life
That I had dreamed of someday being your wife
I saw the gleam your eyes held in place
As the raindrops danced off of her face
They dripped off my face just as gracefully
But not a glance from you did I see
So here is your flower and feather my friend
The curtains are closing
as my romance for you has come to an end.
© HaZeL
My Heaven
your insults stick to me like flies to a strip
I steel my eyes and tighten my lip
But nothing I do gets appreciated here
When works almost done, it’s nowhere near.
Crude and saucy remarks are piling
Littering my world, I hear me sighing.
Sharp objects are such a tempting sight,
I lick my lips… I just might…
I find I’ve been distracted once more
And burry the blade into the drawer.
My work goes on, interrupted much
By barked out orders, no thanks as such.
Early morn I lay there dreaming
Of faeries and dragons and villainous scheming.
There’s a heaven in my imagination so bold,
I fantasize in stories my mind retold.
I invite an eternal comatose state
Rid of a life of unfairness and hate
But when I wake I clear my eyes
And grudgingly conceal myself with lies
My imagination the only thing left to break,
But I promised myself, that, you’d never take.
© HaZeL
Another Silly Love Poem
First sight made me grin
I sprouted a smile at your chagrin
I chuckled at your comedy
But what came next I failed to see
I doubted my appeal a lot
That you had expectations I was not
I was a worm and you a hawk
So ashamed I’d barely talk
Then your touch left me wide-eyed
Feeling shivers down my side
Any second I knew I’d awake
Thinking this dream my consciousness would take
When your lips brushed my own
It was all I could do to stifle my moan
When you gazed into my eyes
I discarded all your compliments as lies
But you convinced me you were sincere
By then I could only hold back a tear
When I dream of you at my side
Life seems so much more simplified
All my grievances washed away
When I had you for that day.
© HaZeL
Pity
Life is gray clashing with fire,
pity being your only desire.
Smoke curls waver in the fluorescent light,
never saw a more pathetic sight.
The buildings limit my eyes,
forbidding me to see the sunrise.
Concrete hurts my feet.
The boys father broke his kite,
never saw a more pathetic sight.
© HaZeL
Never Sleep Another Night
Never sleep another night
Out of my provocative sight
How you look at me
With bedroom eyes
Time for my hand to slide
Between your thighs
When you’re cold
when you’re alone
I’ll do all I can
To warm you
To the bone
When trouble feasts at your mind
And sadness and despair
Are easy to find
Being a woman I’ll make you forget
And give you a night
You’d never regret
my purpose in life
Is but only to settle your strife
Lay back darling, close your eyes
Let me make your…
Ego
Rise
Don’t feel guilty not one bit
Until you’re content I wont quit
Don’t bother moving your hand down there
I’m much to occupied with you to care
Kiss, lick, suck, and nibble
I know each spot with which to fiddle
To make you jerk and gasp and sigh
Plus there’s always new things to try
But what makes me melt on the inside
Is when it’s all over
Your arms open wide
Inviting me to fall asleep
By your side.
© HaZeL
Those Who Speak To Few
Billions of people clutter this world
With only petty plans
Morning; the alien sun unfurls
Much like delicate oriental fans
There’s a schedule for every morn
Repeated through all lives
Counter cultures all do scorn
Goths pierce their skin with knives
Cliques and groups and clubs and orders
Not to venture into the unknown
Dare they try to out step their borders
And I was born alone
I do not dress to impress
Except impress myself
Nor sit and whine that I have less
Than many’s acquired wealth
I love the people who don’t care
Those who speak to few
Who don’t get jealous at a fair
And lovely limbed beau
© HaZeL
Random scribbles of insanity?
tick tock tick tock
drowns the clock
in misery and guilt
and if i was fat
would you scat
like so many paper thin and bland boys
and discount stores don't sell my size
and sak's wont compromise
and if the sun didn't rise
would that mean u don't love me anymore
and u were created from the mother
and she birthed u from the sea
and she gave your eyes the sky
and your kiss the oceans tranquility
should i stay up til the sun arises
and all my fears drip into my dreams
should i sleep now and welcome them
with arms open wide and eyes sewed to seams
sleep invites and also frights
my weary tarnished soul
im made of brass
so kiss my ass
ill stay up til i lose control
© HaZeL
If I wanted to
if i wanted to
i could be beautiful lovely and fair
sickly little body
long bleach blonde hair
and if i wanted to
i could be oh so popular
with a clique of my own
and infinite secrets to share
and if i really wanted to
i could be proper and prim
with numerous social graces
to have you im my palm in a whim
and if I wanted to
i could look at your faces
and tell you all how original you are
each in their own individual social places
if i wanted to speak; my biggest lie so far
id tell you all; what you hope you are.
i see children hiding behind model images
and the designer labels that envelope you
i wont think twice about your grievances
because denying your own self is all you do
if you had one ounce of self dignity
you'd look at others before the mirror
you may think all i spout is bigotry
but that's all you decide to hear.
when i am old and uglier yet
i'll look back on these days
i'll wonder if they all forgot
their foolish-feeding ways
when i am happy, alone or not
i wonder if you'll ever realize
that you have to accept yourself. and what you've got
otherwise your love is littered with lies.
© HaZeL
Pure
Butterflies who fly at night
The wind who whispers
in broad daylight
The trees bow down, to worship the ground
Touching buds to weeds
Sighing a soft sound
They live until they die.
No stress, nor pain, in their life.
reaching, ambitiously, to touch the sky
life is pure
and we pollute it
life is sure
and we're still insecure about it.
that death is only sure with life
is the definition of truth
that cant be enough, for our strife.
© HaZeL
Friend
what happened to you my best friend
it's been so long
its only been weeks
but it feels like years you've been gone
and what happened to you and your guy
i know he doesnt like me much
ever since that one night
i told him he was being an ass and such
and what happened with you and your dad
i know he isn't happy
but his money makes you glad
however the emotional support is sad.
what happened with you and your mom
she never sends you money
and that makes you very upset
when she calls to say "i love you honey"
and what happened that night i called
and talked about nothing at all
and you repeated stupid things
to someone outside the call
and i heard laughing in the background
and i thought it was just someone we knew
but i remembered how that bitches laugh sounds
and my trust was shattered for you.
what happened to me, if i only knew
i have got to stop day dreaming
and start making them come true.
and ive got to depend,
on myself only,
because when it comes to the end
all i have left is me.
and ive got to forget
about that long lost idea
that friends are there til the end
cause they sure weren't with me
© HaZeL
She
deep in the night she glanced in the mirror,
as the water trickled down her face
the reflection cast a sense of fear
and the anger made her heart race
and she tried to wash it all away
as the room around her began to spin
and she set the soap back in the tray
and realized it was underneath the skin
she saw the walls fall down
they fell all around her
she kicked her once golden crown
looking back the mirror was a blur
and she spilt the pills in the sink
and stared deeply at each pill
and she really started to think
if they were strong enough to kill
the loneliness devoured her mind
and the sadness cut her soul
and she gave up the search to find
the happiness that was her goal
so she shut herself away
and locked and barred the door
she's locked inside to this day
curled up on the floor.
© HaZeL
Something Old/Moonbreak
Boom goes your heart-
the fun's just begining to start.
Your stomachs in your knees,
and your head in a freeze.
it coarses through your every vein
pulsing such a beautiful pain.
let yourself go, let yourself relax
there wont be anymore setbacks.
there's stars in your eyes
and music in your sighs.
the sky is on fire
sparked by your desire.
stars collapse into a pile
dizzied by your brilliant smile.
theres blood on the moon,
its heart all atore,
to know its not the most beautiful anymore.
© HaZeL
Beautiful Lies
i like to pick
at it
until it bleeds
i like scratch
at it
until it gleams
i like to stroke
at it
until it screams
is it worth it
to feel me shudder
words are so empty
the words you utter
you get lost
when i gasp and cry
laying next to me
please feed me another:
another beautiful lie
its inside of me
its on my tongue
it burns internally
and it bleeds like battery
but ill lick it up
just like a whore
because its all i have left of you
and all i want is more.
daily drudgery becomes limbo
and i dream about your hands
your beautiful hands
caressing my lips
rocking my hips
squeezing my thighs
what beautiful lies.
© HaZeL