Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.
--Matt Groening
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
--Janette Barber
Babies are such a nice way to start people.
--Don Hero
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speach you will ever regret.
--Ambrose Bierce
Advice is probably the only free thing people won't take.
--Lothar Kaul
We got new advice as to what motivated man to walk upright: to free his hands for masturbation.
--Jane Wagner
You can close your eyes to reality, but not memories.
--Stanislaw J. Lec
It's hard to face reality when reality has many faces.
--Tony Follari
If you've got nothing interesting to say, learn something that is.
--Glen Winterbourne
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
--George Bernard Shaw
Hayli is a sexy beast.
--Vickie
How can I be racist when I have a color T.V?
--Justin
Carpe Diem
--Mom
Vuundabah
--Bryant