chris to mark(n jennifer): f snow f kings f being sick f women

*"Whoever said that 'more fish in the sea' thing was lying. Sometimes there's only one fish"

*"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."

*"Why go up, when you can go down?"]

*"I'm not that great at algebra, but doesn't U+I =69?"

*"My name is Chris, and my anti-drug is sex"

*"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer."

*Sex is like math, add the bed, minus the clothes, divide the legs and pray to god you don't multiply

*sex is like air it s not important unless you arnt getting any

*Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

*If you bought $1000 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49. If you bought $1000 worth of Budweiser (the beer) one year ago, drank all the beer, and traded in the cans for the nickel deposit, you would have $79. My advice to you is to start drinking heavily

*chris: im hungry ashley: well lucky for you, its all you can eat overe here baby

*" 'Maybe' is acceptable.. it's that 'no' thing that gets me."

*"sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken"

*You are not your job. You are not how much you have in the bank. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking Khakis. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."

*"i wanted to destroy somthing beautiful" *"do you come here often?...cause im about to come here right now" *"screw you guys.. im going home"

amy to chris amy: im a silly rabbit chris: yea rabbits r cute, your cute, you could be a rabbit amy:yea and they like to fuck.....alot chris:look amy your a rabbit amy: haha thanks

*"will you shut up i have salty nuts in my mouth"-amy lynn

*"video games dont affect kids, i mean if pac man affected us as kids we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetative electronic music"

*"All it takes to fly is to hurl yourself at the ground and miss"

*assassins do it from behind

*A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey's monkey!

*Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? The guy who wrote that song wrote everything

*Death is heritary

*"What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?"

*"In the beginning there was nothing, then god said 'let there be light' and there was still nothing but u could see it."

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, the softer the bed the better the screw

ScReW MiLk ILL dO Ur BoDy GoOd

life's like a dick, when it gets hard, fuck it

Lets play hide and go-seek, If you can find me...we can fuck, & If you can’t find me, I’m in the cupboard.

I like my coffee like I like my sex... *Strong* and on the kitchen table.

Fuck me slow- Fuck me fast Fuck me good and make it last Fuck me now- don’t be shy Fuck me hard and make me cry

"I lost my reputation young - but never missed it."

love is a sensation caused by a temptation a guy sticks his destination in a girl`s location to increase the population of the next generation do you understand my explanation or do you need a demonstration

-the only reason I’d kick you off my bed - - is to fuck you on the floor -

Its not easy being a dick. You have a head you can't use, an eye you can't see out of. You live with two nuts. Your best friends a pussy and worst of all your owner beats you everyday.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!