Roaming the fairly large establishment aimlessly finally led me to the lingerie section. Now, I am not one to sport a naughty teddy with leg straps and ripped nylons, but seeing how my husband and I had previously agreed not to swap gifts and spend the money on our son instead, I decided to treat him and myself for the undying love we share for our beautiful four-year old. I found a sexy red number in my delicate size of X-Large and bought an equally sexy string of matching material that I assumed to be underwear. Stopping by the discounted crate of holiday decor, I found a large red ribbon tagged for fifty-cents. I imagined it would fit brilliantly in the hollow of my cleavage.
Feeling very confident and a bit naughty, I marched to the registers marked "New Purchases" and waited in the quickly growing line. The boy behind the register looked about nine years old and instantly I began to feel a little embarrassed with my purchase. But I stood firm, knowing without any doubt that my husband would be extremely surprised and turned-on with my choice of exchange.
All too soon, it was my turn. I placed the items on the conveyer belt and watched as the boy's eyes began to grow round. His fingers fumbled with the flimsy red material, (if you want to call the see-through mesh "material,") and scanned it and then bagged it. It was tagged as $14.97 bit rang through as $6.50. I was ecstatic! Not only was my husband going to be pleasantly surprised with me and we were going to have long overdue sex, but I got it on sale!
Not caring at that point how old the cashier was or what he thought of this fatty buying lingerie, I paid for the items, grabbed the plastic bag, and readied myself for the three mile hike back to my car. But this time, there was a little skip in my step. Now I finally understood why people brave the weather and insane shoppers, long lines and annoying people to go out the day after Christmas...
You can get lingerie regularly priced at $14.97 for a mere $6.50!!!
Happy friggin' holidays!!!!
