TITLE:  "Changes" (White Knight Tarnished)
AUTHOR:  Cathryn (SpikeDchs@aol.com)
DISTRIBUTION:  Love's Bitch, Xander and Deadboy, Amothea's Angst Archive - aw 
hell, this goes to everyone who's got the rest of WKT archived!
RATING:  R - sex talk
CATEGORY:  Angelus/Xander slash (which is usually a given in WKTland, to be 
sure, but I think the next story will surprise y'all.  Hmm, I'm Southern and 
Irish today.)
SUMMARY:  It's too short for a summary.  I've written answers to essay 
questions in tests that are longer than this story.
NOTES:  Those of you who have read stuff by Francesca Lia Block may do a 
double take here.  For some reason I was partially channelling her when I 
wrote this, so it's a bit different from my usual style.  I liked how it 
turned out, though, so I kept it.  And for those of you who haven't read 
Francesca Lia Block, why in the name of the goddess are you still here when 
you could be at the library checking out one of her books?
AND *PLEASE*:  Send me your ideas for improvements.  I'm not entirely 
thrilled with this one just yet.
DEDICATED:  To any Scadians out there who may be reading this series - drop 
me a line if you are, would ya, please?  My Scadian name, for those of you 
who know what I'm talking about and are still with me, is Ophelia Rayne.
DISCLAIMER:  Say it with me, children:  joss owns them and is getting rich 
off them.  I don't and will never see a penny.



"Changes"



Xander trudged slowly through the darkness, both anticipating and dreading 
his destination.  It had been four days since he had last seen Angelus that 
night in the hospital.  He had been hospitalized since the previous 
afternoon, but Angelus hadn't paid him a visit once in that time.

< Maybe he's forgotten, > Xander speculated hopefully.  < Maybe he's just 
sick of me. >  Then his heat sank as he reached the alley and saw Angelus 
there, leaning against a wall with his arms folded across his chest.  Xander 
froze, and briefly contemplated turning and running.  But Angelus stepped 
forward, moving more quickly than he appeared to be, until he reached Xander. 
 He pulled the young man against him and kissed him roughly.  Xander tensed 
for a moment, then forced himself to relax.  He could do this.  He had to do 
this.  There as no way of knowing what Angelus might do if provoked.  Who in 
Xander's life he might attack.  He couldn't risk rejecting Angelus's 
advances.  He could only endure them and pray that the vampire got bored.

*****a week later*****

Angelus was aware of Xander's change of heart.  After that fiasco in the 
hospital, he did his level best to be aware of the boy's moods.  Not that it 
made a difference anymore.

Yes, Xander's body still responded to him.  He still got hard, still 
climaxed, still shivered when Angelus hit a particularly sensitive spot.  But 
now he was quiet.  Where before he had moaned, gasped, whimpered, he was now 
silent.

Angelus preferred to avoid looking into his eyes.  The fiery lust that had 
always been there was gone.  In its place was anger, hate, fear.  In all 
other ways, Xander kept those emotions hidden from him, but they were always 
these for Angelus to see in those dark eyes.

And they bothered him.

**********

They continued to meet.  Angelus refused to cut it off, stubbornly optimistic 
that Xander's chill toward him would warm and disappear with time.  But he 
only grew colder, with the hate and resentment that grew in him with every 
meeting, with every time he saw the once unflappable Giles flinch at each 
too-loud noise or unexpected touch on the shoulder, creating inside him a 
volcano of volatile ice that could stay dormant for only so long.

Angelus wouldn't see it, refused to so much as take into consideration the 
idea of ending everything.  Even this hateful, angry Xander was better than 
nothing at all.