Fulfillment by Cathryn TITLE: "Fulfilment" AUTHOR: Cathryn (SpikeDchs@aol.com) RATING: NC-17 (what else do you expect from me?) DISTRIBUTION: Love's Bitch, Belynda's Slash Archive, Xander and Deadboy. Otherwise, please ask. SUMMARY: Well . . . read the title. Consider the ending of the last story. Draw your own conclusions. =) NOTES: Standard stuff: This is slash. Grownup stuff. If this bothers you, don't read this. If you read this anyway, don't flame me. If you're underage, it is illegal for you to read this. So I hope you feel real guilty about it. COUPLING: Angelus/Xander (But you knew that already.) DEDICATION: To Michelle and Carol's convalescing mom - get well soon!! DISCLAIMER: Once upon a time, there was an evil man named Joss. He caused Angelus and Xander to have serious chemistry, then did nothing about it because he won't let Xander come out of the closet. Then, along came a slash- minded author, who has stolen them for now, but will give them back to Joss, thus preventing a "happily ever after". (In layman's terms: Everybody and everything in this story belong to Joss, except for John. Joss is god, and a god who has become filled with his own godliness [and acid].) Things were getting better. It had been a week since that first night in the hotel, and they had been meeting nightly ever since. Progress had been made more quickly than Angelus had anticipated - Xander was becoming increasingly comfortable with both his own nudity and Angelus's and had, a couple of nights ago, discovered a talent for fellatio. His enthusiasm for exploring and experimenting with this new- found talent had been immensely enjoyable. Why, then, was Angelus slowly going insane? Oh, he knew why; that wasn't really the issue. Blowjobs and such were all well and good, but they had yet to take that last, most satisfying step. Angelus hadn't introduced the idea since that first night, remembering clearly Xander's responding panic. The boy may have been growing more comfortable with him, but that didn't mean he was ready at all. Adding to Angelus's exasperation was the growing suspicion that he was coddling Xander. Why couldn't he be as detached and calculating as he'd always been before? He'd never had this problem. And why was he exasperated at all? He never got impatient about these things; why start now? ********** "Xander?" Somebody shook him. "Xander!" " 'M up, 'm up," Xander mumbled, lifting his head off the table and looking into Giles's concerned face. The past week had really told on Xander - who knew that two or three hours of missed sleep each night could take so much out of you? "Go home and get some rest," Giles told him firmly. "Yeah, we got it under control," Buffy agreed. Rest. Sounded nice. "What time is it?" he asked, pulling himself out of his chair. "About eight," Buffy answered. "You've been out for about an hour." Eight. "I have another hour," Xander mumbled before he realized he was doing it. "Till what?" Willow asked. "Till - I . . . have to go," he replied, staccato fashion. Oh, good one. Exhaustion under pressure. Not a pretty sight. "Xander, *go* *home*," Giles ordered emphatically. "Yeah, we're kicking you out," Buffy said, pulling away the chair before Xander could sit back down. "Go visit the land of Zs," Willow added, then explained sheepishly, "My mom says that a lot." "I'm fine," Xander protested. "I just need a cup of coffee, or that disgusting tea I know you have in your office." "Xander. Go." Giles pointed resolutely to the door. "Fine." Xander grabbed his book bag. "A plague on all your windshields." "Our windshields?" repeated Buffy, bemused. "Xander, get some sleep." Giles watched the male Slayerette shuffle from the room with a concerned frown. Xander had been behaving strangely since that night just over a week ago when he had burst into the library with the explanation that he had given himself a scare. Giles had accepted it at the time, but now he wondered . . . "I had better give him a ride," he said, standing. "It would be safer. And please," he added as he pulled his jacket on, "no wisecracks about my car," looking pointedly at Buffy, who gave him a Wide Eyed Innocent look. "I'll be back shortly." He found Xander roughly ten yards down the hall, slowly working on making it eleven. "Xander," Giles said, catching up with him easily, "I'm going to give you a ride home." Xander blinked at him. "Huh? Oh. No. No ride. I mean, no thanks." He'd decided to go the alley and maybe catch a quick nap before Angelus showed. "*Yes,* Xander. It's dangerous out alone as it is, and you are certainly in no condition to be fighting off vampires." Xander looked at him stubbornly, and Giles suddenly felt as if he were arguing with a logic-impervious toddler. Then, the stubbornness disappeared, and Xander sighed, "Fine. Ride." "Good," replied the considerably relieved Watcher. They walked to Giles's car in silence. As they got in, Giles spoke. "Xander, are you having any . . ." He paused for so long that Xander finally prompted, "What?" Giles rephrased. "Is there, uh, something going, going on in your life that uh, that you would like to . . . to talk about?" Xander, instantly awake, went on the defensive. "What, I can't get tired? Giles, come on." Giles was patient, keeping his eyes on the road. "You know what I'm talking about, Xander," he said, hoping to perhaps bluff Xander into revealing something. It was a transparent ruse, and an unimpressed Xander saw right through it. "Nice try, G-man." Giles sighed. "Don't call me that." He took his gaze off the road for a moment, switching it to Xander. Xander carefully ignored him, staring fixedly out the windshield. Giles gave up. There no getting any teenager to talk when he didn't want to. A few minutes later, Giles pulled up in front of Xander's house. Xander started to climb out of the car, then paused. "Look," he said seriously to Giles, "you don't wanna know what's going on with me. It's nothing bad," he added quickly to preempt the alarm dawning in the Watcher's eyes, "but you do *not* want to know." He looked intently into Giles's face and said firmly, "*Trust* *me.*" Giles hesitated, but so briefly that Xander didn't notice. "All right," he agreed. But as Giles drove away, he realized that Xander's words had only served to unsettle him further. ********** Xander watched Giles's car drive away, then decided to take advantage of his sudden, and undoubtedly brief, lack of weariness. He dropped his backpack and started walking, headed for the alley where he met his lover every night. He'd have quite a wait, but what the hell; at least he'd get there first for a change. As he approached the alley, he half-expected to see Angelus lounging casually against the wall, but he wasn't there. Further inspection proved the alley to be empty. Xander slid down the wall and sat, knees pulled up against his chest. After a few moments, the tiredness returned with a vengeance. Xander closed his eyes, for just a few seconds. Suddenly, someone was shaking him hard, then jerking roughly him to his feet. Xander's sleep fogged mind whirled as he stared uncomprehendingly at Angelus, who was glaring furiously at him and snarling, "What the hell did you think you were doing? It's dangerous enough to be alone here *awake*. What the hell were you doing sleeping?" He kissed Xander hard, angrily, bruising the boy's lips, pulling away abruptly and hissing, "I have put in way too much effort for you to go and get yourself killed. Understand?" Xander stared at him, pale and wide eyed, and for a moment Angelus thought he'd scared the kid speechless. Xander recovered himself, though, and muttered, "Yes." Annoyed with himself for getting so - not upset, *angry* - Angelus snapped, "Good," and stalked away in the general direction of the hotel, leaving Xander to follow. Which he did. ***** They always went to the same hotel. They always used the same room. And they always ran into the same damn checkout guy. "Hey," he greeted them cheerfully. "You guys are right on time. I could set my watch by you two." He said that every night. "Hi, John," Xander answered, as Angelus quickly scrawled that night's names on the register. Angelus hated John. The man was relentlessly cheerful. How he managed it in this armpit of a job was a mystery, but he did, and that somehow made it worse. Angelus always went into the hotel intending to kill him before he left, but Xander had a tendency to make these things slip his mind. "John and Juan Doe," John chuckled, reading the register. "Cute. Have fun, you two. And be careful. He always said that, too. Ushering Xander briskly to their room, Angelus mused, "I wonder what he'd say if he knew I could kill him in his sleep." "I have an idea. Let's never find out." Angelus closed the door securely and wrapped his arms around his lover. "Leave the ideas to me." With that, he heaved Xander onto the bed and quickly shucked his jacket. It landed with a distinct thump-and-roll sound. "Did your jacket gain weight?" Xander asked, then he caught sight of the jar of Vaseline Angelus had optimistically snagged from a corner store on his way to the alley (he'd had to kill the cashier, but what the hell; he hadn't eaten yet, anyway.). Xander silently weighed to implications and came to the inevitable conclusion. Angelus picked up the jar and dropped it on the alleged-wood nightstand, seeming casual but actually carefully evaluating Xander's reaction. He seemed profoundly startled, and was either calm or in shock - either way, a major improvement over the panic of a week ago. He crept over the bed, nudging Xander backwards gently until he was on his back. Angelus kissed him deeply, moving his body over Xander's. Xander responded automatically, acutely and excruciatingly aware of the innocent-looking jar on the nightstand and its not-so-innocent intended purpose. Noticing Xander's lack of concentration instantly, Angelus pulled away from the kiss with a mental sigh. "What?" "What what?" Xander countered. "What's bothering you?" "Guess," Xander suggested. "Oh." Like he hadn't known all along. "That's just in case we decide to use it." He chose the pronoun carefully, but Xander wasn't fooled. "And are you intending to use it?" Angelus glared down at him. "I never noticed before how much you like to talk. Are you going to shut up or do I have to gag you?" Not a bad idea, actually, but it was just another one of those things Xander wasn't prepared for. Xander fell silent, angry. Angelus, ignoring the indignation in Xander's eyes, resumed kissing him, just a little more roughly. He felt the frustrated tension ease from Xander's body - it never took much to make Xander forget that he was annoyed with him. Xander tucked his frustration away yet again and reached up to slide his arms loosely around Angelus, arching his body up against the vampire's as best he could. Angelus pressed close, craving the warmth of Xander's skin. He broke the kiss and began to remove Xander's shirt, noting with approval that Xander had remembered to wear a button-down for once. He spread the edges apart and lowered his head to press a quick kiss over Xander's heart before he let Xander unbutton his shirt, smiling a little as Xander ran his hands over the dark silk. He was going to have to remember to do something with this silk fetish the kid seemed to have. Angelus slipped off his shirt and pressed his body to Xander's Xander shivered at the feel of cold skin against his heated chest. Angelus kissed him lightly, then slid down to Xander's throat. Xander tilted his chin back, trusting his lover not to bite. Angelus mocked the gesture, nipping roughly, though not hard enough to break the exposed skin. At least, not yet. He felt Xander shiver underneath him, a mixture of pleasure and startled fear. Angelus let up, kissing the slightly abused tissue. On Angelus's back, Xander's fingers began tracing light patterns. Angelus growled faintly. Xander, who had learned when to pay attention to his lover's growls and when to ignore them, recognized the sound as one of pleasure and didn't so much as flinch. Angelus rewarded him with a deep kiss and passed his hand lightly over the boy's growing arousal. Xander shifted underneath him, his hands ceasing their movements and gripping Angelus's shoulders. Angelus squeezed him lightly through his jeans. Xander moaned, his hips bucking involuntarily. Angelus moved his hand away, smirking just a little. His amusement quickly disappeared when Xander retaliated for all he was worth, teasing every spot of cool skin he could reach with his hands and mouth, never stopping in one place long enough to do much good. Xander was getting good at these games. Angelus's lust swelled abruptly, and he sat up, straddling Xander. Xander's own lust surged at the feel of the vampire's hardness pressing down on him. Angelus quickly opened Xander's zipper, somehow maneuvering his jeans off, barely noticing that Xander had somehow rid himself of his shoes. Xander reached up and undid Angelus's leather pants, pushing them down eagerly. Angelus got out of them quickly and pulled Xander up into a sitting position, making the shirt slide off his shoulders. He moved closer, still straddling Xander, and kissed him urgently. Xander responded, plucking somewhat impatiently at the elastic of Angelus's boxers. Angelus pushed Xander back onto the bed, following, still kissing him. He stroked Xander's erection lightly through his boxers, listening to the soft sounds of pleasure contained in the boy's throat. Feeling Xander begin to pull for breath, Angelus ended the kiss and moved off of Xander, sliding subtly toward the nightstand. Xander's eyes followed the movement and landed on the jar. He swallowed convulsively. Angelus drew Xander closer to him sliding the boy's boxers off and taking hold of his cock. Xander was somehow coherent enough to demand, "Are you trying to distract me?" Angelus began to pump him slowly. "Is it working?" "Uh huh," Xander gasped, thrusting into Angelus's hand. "Good," Angelus murmured. He continued to pump Xander at the same slow, steady pace, ignoring Xander's frantic attempts to make him go faster. Gradually, Xander came closer and closer to the edge, groaning in anticipation. Angelus felt the boy's cock grow perilously close to orgasm and took his hand away. Xander stared in frustrated confusion. "Wh -" he tried to ask, but couldn't form the words. "Roll over," Angelus replied. Xander balked, anxiety - but not fear - filling his eyes. Angelus repeated the order in quiet, steely tones, slipping his own boxers off. Somehow, Xander's lust actually increased at the sight of his lover's hard cock. Silently, trembling a little, Xander rolled onto his stomach, tense with nervous anticipation. That annoyed Angelus - what the hell did Xander expect him to do? Grab him and shove on in? Well, he supposed, reaching for the Vaseline, that was entirely possible; Xander probably had no idea what to expect. Angelus reached for the two ridiculously thin pillows, folded them in half, and slid them beneath Xander's hips. Xander shifted, tensing further. Angelus stroked Xander's ass softly with one hand, and - using a skill perfected over the past two and a half centuries - opened the jar with the other. He thoroughly coated his fingers, then probed one gently against Xander's anus. Xander jumped. "Relax," Angelus murmured. "Make it easier on yourself." Oh, beautifully phrased. Very relaxing. Angelus shrugged mentally and slipped his finger slowly into Xander. Xander gasped a little, then felt his body relax as he realized something important - the wasn't so bad. In fact, it was kind of - Angelus nudged his prostate, and Xander gave a cry of startled pleasure. - good! Angelus smiled to himself and inserted a second finger, and, after a moment, a third, using them to both pleasure Xander and prepare him. Xander groaned and pressed his cock against the pillows, desperate for friction. Angelus quickly reached around and grabbed the hard organ, holding it still. Xander moaned. It was time. Angelus took his hands away from Xander with a sharp warning to him to keep still, then grabbed the Vaseline and slathered it over his demanding erection. He moved over Xander, warning him, "This is going to hurt at first, but it will go away. Try to stay relaxed." Xander nodded, his breathing quickening nervously. Angelus gripped Xander's hips gently, and slowly pushed the head of his cock into him. He paused for a moment, letting Xander adjust, then continued, moving as slowly as his fevered lust would let him. Xander hissed in pain, hands clenching into fists. When he was fully inside, Angelus paused again, both giving Xander a chance to get accustomed and giving himself a chance to cool down. He hadn't been this close this fast in decades. Of course, he hadn't had a hot human body in even longer - just cold fledglings. Xander held his body perfectly still, trying to get used to the feel of Angelus's cock inside him, and trying to get Angelus to stay motionless for a little longer. They stayed like that for nearly a minute. Then Angelus, regaining a little control, drew back, intending to begin thrusting slowly. Xander instinctively clamped his muscles around Angelus. Angelus moaned and responded by thrusting hard and deep. Xander yelled. < SHIT! > He'd forgotten himself! Again! Angelus couldn't believe it. Then Xander's voice, gasping: "Do that again." Only too glad to comply. Angelus pulled back and slammed forward, prompting another yell, which Angelus this time recognized as pleasure. He thrust steadily, holding back only enough to avoid injuring Xander. The pleasure was so intense Xander was almost in tears, crying out and arching back to meet Angelus's thrusts. Angelus was dangerously close, but wanted Xander to come first - everything could be ruined if he didn't. He reached around and grabbed Xander's cock, pumping it hard. Xander came with a scream, his entire body spasming. His muscles clamped tightly around Angelus, sending him over the edge. He came hard, pressing himself closely against Xander, then slumping in exhaustion over Xander's equally insensate body. After a few minutes, he rolled off of Xander, utterly relaxed. For the first time in a week, he was totally satiated. He wouldn't be going in search of some luckless fledgling. He wouldn't be ducking into a discreet place and getting himself off. He didn't need to. < See, wasn't the waiting worth it? Isn't it always? > Next to him, Xander stirred a little, pushing away the wet pillows and stretching himself flat across the bed. His earlier exhaustion had returned with reinforcements. He just wanted to sleep, but he was wary of doing so with Angelus around. He found this hazily amusing, considering he'd just let Angelus fuck him. Angelus looked at Xander and chuckled - the boy was obviously staying conscious only through sheer will power. < Get out of here and let him get some sleep. He's earned it. > Suddenly energized, Angelus got up and dressed, tossing Xander's clothes on the bed. All but whistling a jaunty tune, he sauntered to the lobby. John look up from the thick textbook he was reading. A college boy - well, that explained the lack of bitterness. Angelus paid for the room, remembering to add, "Don't let anyone in there - he'll be staying for the night." "No kidding," John muttered, tucking the bills into the cash register. He gave Angelus a dryly amused look and explained, "Room thirteen isn't that far down the hall." Angelus just laughed. < Sharp kid. > Remembering his ruminations of earlier, he decided, < Oh, what the hell. I'll let him live tonight. > He was halfway out the door before he realized he was whistling that jaunty tune. [Image]