(Business Wire) � New York � Hallmark Corporation today announced a new unit, composed of hated husbands, which will design birthday, anniversary and holiday cards for wives to give to husbands that they hate. Headed by John Broglio, himself a hated husband of 23 years, the unit will market these cards to a growing segment of the card market, which as a whole has seen declining sales over the past 10 years. �We think these cards will be a hit,� Broglio stated today. �We personally know wives that will buy and enjoy giving them.�

Mark Burnham, chief graphic artist for Hallmark, described some of the front panel designs the group has been developing. �Mostly scenes of desolate environments � wind swept deserts, Hiroshima after the bomb, empty rooms, and the like.� New advances in digital technology, Burnham noted, will allow wives to custom design these cards. �Does wifey want a picture of her husband�s head on a pole? We can do that,� Burnham boasted.

Front panel greetings will feature insults, Broglio said. �Merry Christmas, You Bastard,� �Happy Birthday, You Thundering Moron,� �Happy Father�s Day, You Lousy Father to My Child,� and �Crappy Anniversary, You Pompous Ass,� are some greetings that are being developed.

Hallmark will place bone-chilling threats and comments in the inside panels, Broglio said. �This is where our training as hated husbands came in. We will use words and phrases that we actually heard from our Lovely Wives.� Broglio�s examples included �Even your breathing bothers me,� �Don�t look at me like that,� �When you take out the trash tonight, why don�t you join it,� �Better wear fire retardant pajamas tonight,� �Our anniversary is my own personal September 11,� �You are proof that evolution makes mistakes,� and �It�s your fault.�

First Boston financial analyst Hal Greenwad believes this aggressive move by Hallmark into the Hated Husband sector will be successful. �There are an estimated 250,000,000 hated husbands in the world today. This means that there are 250,000,000 hateful wives. Even if only 1 percent buys these cards, Hallmark will make a mint.�