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In order to develop friendly relationship
between the two countries, Atal Behari Vajpayee and Pervez Musharraf
decided to visit each other's country regularly.
The first visit was by Vajpayee to Pakistan. There Musharraf showed him
Pakistan's modern telecommunication systems. It was so good that
Vajpayee made a call to the Devil in hell and talked to him for 5
minutes! The bill for the call came to only Re.1.
When Vajpayee came back, he also wanted India's telecommunication
systems to be at the best when Musharraf visited India. Suitable
arrangements were made. Mushrraf came to India, visited the telecom
department and talked to Zia-ul-Haq in hell for 5 minutes. But this
time, the bill was Rs. 500!
Musharraf asked with a sarcastic smile - "Why are telephone calls to
hell so costly in India ?"
A High level diplomat gave a smiling reply - "From Pakistan to hell, it
is a local call, Sir, while from India, it is long distance!". |
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- General Zia driving round Islamabad
General Zia driving round Islamabad came across
long queues of Pakistanis outside several embassies wanting visas and
entry permits to go abroad.
He got out of his car and joined a line to find out why so many people
wanted to leave the country.
No sooner did people see their President with them they left the queue
to return to their homes.
President Zia asked them why they were doing so. They replied: "If you
are leaving Pakistan there is no need for us to go." |
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Pak dictator Zia is speeding through Germany
with his chauffeur at the wheel on his way to an important address.
Driving down a country road, the chauffeur (who is distracted, looking
out the window at the countryside) doesn't see a pig walk out onto the
road, and he hits it.
Stopping the car, he jumps out, and Zia climbs out also to see what is
going on. The chauffeur, very distressed by what he's done asks Zia what
they should do, and Zia tells him impatiently that they're in a hurry
and they should move the pig to the side of the road and go to the
address and worry about it later.
All the way to the address the chauffeur, who is a fairly good-hearted
person despite his employer, is worried about the family who owned the
pig and wondered how they'd react to discovering the pig, so when they
arrived he asked Zia whether he shouldn't drive back to the farm and let
them know what happened.
Zia agrees before hurrying to the podium, and the Chauffeur hurries back
down the road.
Four hours later, he was stumbling down the road, his arms full of
gifts.
Zia in a rage demands to know what has happened to him, and the
chauffeur explains, "I did what I thought was right. I went to the farm
where I killed the pig. When I went and knocked on the door and gave
them the news, they gave me these gifts, fed me the best food I've ever
tasted and then sent me on my way."
Zia seemed confused by this and asks his chauffeur, "well what exactly
did you tell them"
To which the chauffeur replied "I really can't understand it either, all
I did was tell them "I'm Zia's Chauffeur, and I killed the pig." |
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God was in the process of creating the
universe. And he was explaining to his subordinates ...............
"Look everything should be in balance. For every 10 deer there should be
a lion. Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United
States. I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same
time I have given them insecurity and tension.... And here is Africa. I
have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given
them climatic extremes.... And here is south America. I have given them
lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so
that they would have to cut off the forests... So you see fellows,
everything should be in balance."
One of the angels asked... "God, what is this beautiful country here?"
God said "Aha...that is the crown piece of all. INDIA. My most precious
creation. It has understanding and friendly people. Sparkling streams,
serene mountains. A culture which speaks of the great tradition that
they live. Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold....."
The angel was quite surprised "But God you said everything should be in
balance."
God replied "Look at the neighbors I gave them" !! |
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Through the center of Lahore there's the new
Indo-Pak train speeding along (Samjhuata Express or whatever - which
goes between India and Pak).
In one compartment of the train there are four people. A beautiful
vivacious young woman, an old matronly woman, a Pakistani soldier, and
our own Santa Singh. Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel.
It is completely dark. Then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful
slap. When the train exits the tunnel, the Pakistani soldier is holding
the side of his face, and Santa Singh is grinning his face off. The old
matronly woman thinks : "Now that's a fine young woman, the Pakistani
soldier tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one!"
The young woman is thinking : "Now that's a strange Pakistani soldier,
he'd rather kiss that old hag than me."
The Pakistani soldier is thinking : "Now that's a smart Indian, he
steals the kiss and I get slapped."
And Santa Singh is thinking : "Gee I'm smart! We go through the tunnel,
I kiss my hand and get away with slapping a Pakistani soldier." |
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An insect falls into a mug of beer...
Englishman : Throws his mug away and walks out
American : Takes the insect out and drinks the beer
Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away
Indian : Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and
gets a new mug of beer.
Pakistani : Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer,
relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for Military aid, takes a
loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer. |
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Banta was in the army. During the war with
Pakistan, Banta used his intelligence to kill many Pakistani soldiers.
He would hide behind the bushes and shout Pakistani names like - Imran
Khan etc. and the soldier named Imran Khan would get up to say "I am
here !" Then Banta would shoot him down. This went on till Banta almost
wiped out all the soldiers single handedly!
Suddenly the Pakistani commander realized that Banta was killing all his
soldiers by fooling them. So he decides to use Banta's own method to
kill him and starts calling him names like Banta etc. Banta realizing
that the Pakistani was using his trick, suddenly says "Who called me?"
and the Commander gets up to say "I called you." Banta shoots him down! |
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Three guys, a Pak, a Sri Lankan and an Indian
are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie
pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total" says the
Genie.
The Sri Lankan says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son
will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Sri Lanka."
With a blink of the Genie's eye,'FOOM' the land in Sri Lanka was forever
made fertile for farming.
The Paki was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Pakistan, so that
no foreigners can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of
the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Pakistan.
The Indian asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this
wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet
thick and completely surrounds the state. Nothing can get in or out."
The Indian says, "My wish is that you fill it up with water." |
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Q. You're locked in a room with Saddam Hussien,
Adolf Hitler, and a Pakistani. You have a gun with two bullets. What do
you do?
A. Shoot the Pakistani twice to make sure he's dead.
Q. What's brown and black and looks great on a Pakistani?
A. A Doberman.
Q. How can you tell when a Pakistani is lying?
A. His lips are moving.
Q. What do you have when a Pakistani is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q. Did you Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of
Pakistanis?
A. He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met. |
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Pakistan just got their new Chinese fighter
planes and sent a squadron of pilots there for training.
"Ok, this one is easy to fly", said the Chinese trainer, "even you fools
should be able to operate it! You press this button to go up, this one
to go left and this one for turning right!"
"But how do we come down?" asked Capt. Arfath Pasha.
"Oh," said the Chinese "leave that to the Indian Air Force!" |
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