Hares: Lurch Stains, Gives Head Nurse, Just Heidi
Pack: About 20
So there we were (No Shit!), 20 or so eager hounds awaiting what promised to be the "best trail ever" by our hares. After much gawking at some of the hot wenches, our hares were off. The first indication that things were not going to go well was when this hash scribe, serving as beer wench for the evening, had call the pack over to the beer wagon because the trail had them going the wrong way! After everyone had quenched their thirst with sacred nectar, the pack was off again.
As I arrived at the second beer stop with the Nectarmobile, Gives Head Nurse (Head! Who said head? I'll have some of that!) was waiting for me. Apparently our hares had managed to get separated, with Lurch Stains and Just Heidi going one direction and GHN going another. He had no idea if the other two were laying true trail or misleading the pack as planned. So I waited for the pack while he took off to lay "true" trail. As I sat in the middle of this spanish neighborhood park in my hot wench costume awaiting the pack to arrive at the second beer stop, I nervously spied several spanish gentleman working up the nerve to ask me either: 1) Why was I dressed like that or, 2) Would I like to join them for Tinto and Tapas later on. At any rate, it didn't matter because our incompetent hare twosome had managed to lead the pack away from the beer stop! I heard the pack's whistles and cries of "on-on" going away from me and toward the on-in! Crikey! So, hustle back to the beer wagon after a quick wink to my new spanish admirers, and off towards the third beer stop. A quick drive along the intended trail yielded no trail markings or evidence of the pack's presence.
Things go from bad to worse. I arrive at the third beer stop to see Lurch Stains by himself. Just Heidi is no longer visible, GHN hasn't been spotted by anyone since the second beer stop, and Lurch Stains doesn't think anyone will be cumming to this beer stop either. He encourages me to proceed on-in to greet the thirsty mob that has been promised three beer stops but hasn't seen nectar since damn near the beginning of the run. My wandering Nectarmobile and I drove circuitously in search of (wasn't that a Leonard Nemoy show?) a thirsty pack to service (heh-heh), but to no avail.
After Lurch Stains and Just Heidi reunited with me at the on-in, Lurch Stains, perhaps feeling guilty for his incompetence, drove off in search of the lost pack. Like Moses, he lead them out of the wilderness and on-in for some nectar. Some time after, GHN arrived from laying his trail, which nobody ever found. After some thirst quenching, we proceeded with some Reeeeligion, with Moroccan Mole as RA. Down-down's were awarded to the hares after some abysmal marks were awarded for the trail. Our virgins were welcomed. And some of our lucky members (Huh-huh. You said member.) were awarded sacred hash names. So let it be known, so let it be said, from here on and forever after: Just Heidi will be known as "Celibate Slut", Just Mark as "Carly Simon" (You're so vain!), and Just Amber as "Smally Parton." Additionally, Pony Poker was renamed "One Uuuugly Bitch" after donning bra and panties at the last hash and leaving a visual that will require a permanent need for Viagra for most of us. Swing Low was sung, and the Circle closed. Until next time, On-on. P2