| All promotions are written by MadShrubbery, and are the sole property of her and this site. If she finds out you've stolen it, she's gonna so kick your ass. Plus, Grandma will be so disappointed in you. |
| Ladies and gentlesticks, let us stop from our GD fun for a minute to discuss a serious subject. Monitors. Hi, my name is MadShrubbery, and I make people pee their pants. Recently, I have written things, and people have found them...well...funny. Why, I don't know, I guess it's because they find the subject of the Gnope hilarious, or because they enjoy Rob's pain when he has to wear real pants. Who really knows? But this has caused a problem. When someone reads this writing, while drinking, the monitors suffer. See, the reader can't help but laugh and spit out their drink, NIA, and it lands on the first thing in front of them: their monitor. This causes the monitor to cry out in silent pain. In extreme cases, the monitor may explode into flames, or simply shut off. Permanently. And we have yet to see a case of a soaked monitor electrocuting a reader, but the threat exists, nevertheless. Folks, what we're asking isn't much. I know you can't stop the Bush, I'm insane, I'm crazy, and I won't stop writing. In fact, if you tried that, I may try and kill you, or soak you with drink spit. I'm frankly scared of myself, and what I might do when poked with a stick. (I'm a crazy piece of lawn decoration, for God's sake.) But we can help save the monitors. Through your donations, only $0.26 a day, the Save The Monitors Foundation can help create an awareness of this growing problem. Through educational brochures, folk songs, and 10-day seminars, we can tell people the danger of "drinking while reading." This is important. We must not let this epidemic result in the death of a GDer by frying. While Hannibal may enjoy Kentucky Fried Fan, the rest of the world does not. Join us today. It's only 26 cents. Please. Help save the monitors. *shows a picture of a monitor out in a trash can, covered in Coke, with a sad face painted on it* Friends don't let friends read drunk. |
| Save The Monitors Foundation |
| One ounce of care equals one less ounce of drink on the monitor. |
| Please...if you feel you need help to battle your addiciton, contact us today. Note: We'd like to thank SRT for establishing the one extra cent for our food fund at the seminars. |
| �2001 by Rebecca J. Burke & Hashbrown Casserole for the Matchbox Twenty Soul, Inc. |