| All stories are written by MadShrubbery, and are the sole property of her and this site. If she finds out you've stolen it, she's gonna so kick your ass. Plus, Grandma will be so disappointed in you. |
| *our lovable boys of MBT are sitting in a large studio, playing with their equipment, paitently waiting* Kyle: *flips through a textbook* Okay, guys, I think this book will help me be able to play with my teeth behind my head...I should have it mastered in a month. Adam: Oh that's so gross. I can't stand picking up your guitar to play, and having saliva all over it! It's a wonder you don't electrocute yourself on stage. It's not a banana, Kyle. Teeth don't belong. *ponders if he can do the same with his blue guitar* Paul: *laughs* Oook! Oook! Oook! I didn't know monkeys could play guitars! *plays rim shot* K: Har. I didn't know mice could play drums! P: *smirks* Didn't you ever hear of Stuart Little? Brian: THE SOUND OF ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK! *strikes massive riff on bass and shuffles around* A: Pook, babe, we know, you've only told us ten thousand times. B: *hurt* But...it is. Matt: *walks into the studio with Rob behind him, everyone settles down, and they both take seats in front of the rest of the band* Okay guys, welcome to Day One of creating our next album! I can already smell the smash hit from here! So Rob, what do you have to share first? Another killer? Rob: *laughs* Well, I've been working really hard on this song, and I feel it should be our first single, and that it will totally launch the album off the charts. It's a winner! P: What's it called? R: "Peer." A: *excited* It sounds really symbolic already! R: Oh it is! Here's the first verse *starts to sing a capella*: "I look inside you, looking deep I see broken fear and tears I don't like what I see But I will after a few beers" K: Okay...I'm keeping my mind open so far. *mind is closed* What's the next verse? R: "You're lonely as hell I can read you front and back So swallow your darkness In my bottle of Jack" B: Insightful. So deep. A: I think I see something symbolic there... R: *grins* Yeah! That's what I was aiming for! P: Go on... R: Okay, now we get to the bridge: "Beer, whisky, and wine will make you mine Only takes the lonely a little bit of time" K: You know, it kinda sounds degra... R: *interrupts with the chorus* "Time to take advantage Time to settle the score So now that we're plastered Let's head for the door I've got a room Right around the way Thank God you're drunk I don't like foreplay" B: Holy shi... R: "Now that we're here Let me set up the video tape Did I ever tell you baby That you make a great date?" M: *shocked* Uh, Rob, that's... R: "I'll put on some Barry You take off your shirt The best thing about this is That I won't get hurt" P: *cheers* Alright, PORN! R: *rambling along excitedly* Then we repeat the bridge and chorus, and then we get to the good stuff: "You were lonely In a way I was too We'll help each other Until we are through The best thing about this is That you won't remember a thing But I'll put up the pictures later Of our little fling" B: *stares at Rob in pure, shocked, terrified horror* R: And then we repeat the chorus one last time! Isn't that AWE-SOME? *stares around the room, which is in an uproar* P: OH MY GOD! A: I think I just had a heartattack. K: What were you thinking??? M: That's awful! Rob, it's degrading and disgusting...something the Bloodhound Gang, Creed, or Mandy Moore would sing! Whatever posessed you to write that? P: *wild eyed and bushy tailed* PORN! So when do we start recording?! R: *hurt* But guys...this is pure gold... K: Pure golden SHIT is more like it! A: Really, someone help me, I think I have no pulse. R: What happened to all of us coming into this session with open minds? We promised ourselves that we wouldn't fight like last time. I still have the scar from Paul's bite on my ass over "Stop." P: *whispers to Rob* Uh, Rob, that wasn't me over "Stop." R: You sure? I have like 10 of them from you... P: Yeah, pretty sure. I didn't bite you, I just kicked your ass. R: Who the hell was biting my ass then??? M: *interrupts* Rob, this is a serious problem we've come to. We can't put out a song like that. It just doesn't live up to what Matchbox Twenty is. A: *spaces out* I see the light... K: I'm sorry Rob, if you re-work it, change the lyrics, it might be fine. I like the tune, but I won't be a part of something like that, otherwise. B: I agree. It scares me. *covers his eyes and rocks back and forth* R: I don't understand you people! You can't see a hit when it smacks you in the face! This shit happened when I wrote "Baby One More Time" and we wouldn't record it! So I gave it to that unknown bimbo with no boobs, and now she's Britney Spears with a rack the size of the Alps! Don't you see what you're missing??? P: I prefer a smaller chest, actually. *fondles his man-boobies* They fit my training bra better. *licks his finger and touches his nipple* Damn I'm a sexy little thang! A: *swoons and starts to sing* "Swing low, sweet chariot..." M: Rob...I'm sorry. We need something more headphone friendly. I still don't understand how you could create something like this. R: *realy defensive* But, but...hell, I didn't even write it, but I still think... K: Hold on, you didn't write this? P: Oh so sexy little thang... B: *uncovers his eyes to see Paul starting to do the Vouge dance behind his drums, and covers them again, and moans* R: No, I bought it off a bum that was reading original poetry in Times Square. K: *picks up his guitar* Okay, you've got about 5 seconds to tell me that this is a joke, or I'm gonna play tennis with your eyeballs... R: Kyle, calm down, this guy was a genius! If only you had heard him! A: I'm coming Grandpa, grab the fishing pole... *falls off his stool* K: Oh for the love of God, someone shock him! B: *grabs his amp, a bottle of Evian, and manages to send thousands of volts through Adam* A: *wriggles on the floor* AIEEEEEEEE!!! I'M ALIVE!!! P: STRIKE A POSE! *everyone stops and turns to look at Paul (even the half-fried Adam), who is provocatively posed over his drum set* P: *waves innocently and pulls his shirt back down* Uh, hi guys... *nervously laughs* So how's the progress on the song going? R: Why Paul, I never knew you had it in you. You little Madonna, you! M: We were deciding to take a look at another one of Rob's songs, and leave "Peer" behind for awhile. K: A VERY long while. *glares at Rob* B: *helps Adam up off the floor* A: Thanks for asking everyone, yes, I'm okay, I just love to feel like Kentucky Fried Chicken every now and then. B: Chicken tastes good! *smiles* K: Yes, it does...you know guys, I'm kind of hungry. *rubs his tummy* M: Okay, so why don't we all break for lunch and go out and get some KFC? We need time away from the studio for a bit. This was really intense. P: Yeah, I did break a sweat, afterall... R: *sighs* We'll forget that song for awhile. I was just kind of jaded, I guess. A: *slings an arm over Rob's shoulder* It's okay, we all get kind of "ja-j-j-jaded" sometimes! R: Fuck, not you and Aerosmith again. Remember how I puked on you last time you sang "Crazy?" I'll do it again! A: *backs off like a banchee* K: So it's KFC, then? B: Yup! Yay! *claps wildly* *everyone straightens up the studio and makes their way out of the room for lunch* R: *whispers to Paul* So who WAS biting my ass back then? P: *blushes* Okay, it was me. I'm sorry. I love you Rob, do you forgive me? R: Oh you little Madonna you! *noogie* |
| Episode 3: The New Album - Day One |
| In this episode of As The Match Burns... We learn more truths about Rob, and Brian becomes handy with an amp. As always, every episode is written out of fun. If you're taking this seriously, you probably didn't understand "Mad Season," either, and therefore really shouldn't read this anyway. |
| NEXT TIME, on As The Match Burns... The NRA President makes a surpise visit to Paul's bedroom, and Rob and Brian have a heart to heart. Maybe. I dunno, sure, I should be saying what the author paid me to say, but hell, I get paid by the word, and she didn't write much, so there. Note: The song "Peer" included in this episode is the sole property of Rebecca J. Burke and may not be reproduced without permission. So back off, Britney! |
| �2001 by Rebecca J. Burke & Hashbrown Casserole for the Matchbox Twenty Soul, Inc. |