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| INSIDE THE MATCHBOX by Rebecca J. Burke The Nutty Hedge Times Matchbox Twenty, the band with such hits as "Push," "3 AM," "Bent," and "If You're Gone," is a group of talent like no other in America. Their combination of soulful lyrics, masterful tunes, and friendly rock makes this quintet a band to admire. Why? Most artists today tend to fall into one of two categories: good or bad. Either their music has an overly good and happy theme to it, or one of misery and hate, to varying degrees. Rarely today will you find anyone with albums that so cleverly mix the two extremes together to create a sound that will do for any day. Feeling sorry for yourself? Cry with "Kody." In a rut? Try "The Burn." Had a long day? Cope with "Long Day." In love? Get "Bent." Every emotion has it's matching tune with Matchbox Twenty. It's no suprise that they even title their latest album to reflect their feelings over the past 4 years since Yourself or Someone Like You, Mad Season. After selling 16-17 million albums, it's been a mad season, indeed! With their fall tour soon to be commencing, I recently had the pleasure to sit down with the boys of Matchbox Twenty: Rob Thomas, Paul Doucette, Brian Yale, Adam Gaynor, and Kyle Cook. Once you catch a glimpse of these 5 very different personalities, you can surely understand why they are able to make the music that makes our worlds go 'round. Nutty Hedge Times: Well, gentlemen, *has* it been a mad season since the release of Mad Season? Rob Thomas: I think I can speak for everyone when I say that yes, it's been insane! We're totally excited that instead of flopping after a 4-year break, we've actually done just as well! Adam Gaynor: This success has only proven to ourselves that we do have the talent to be able to take time out to work on our music, rather than just churn out half-assed albums. NHT: Were you afraid that after 4 years, no one would remember the name? Paul Doucette: *laughs* Actually, we technically came back with a new name. We went from "Matchbox 20" to "Matchbox Twenty," so we should be raking in the Best New Artist Grammys any day now. Kyle Cook: Even though we had fairly decent airplay since we broke out in 1996, we did realize there was always the possiblity of being a one-album wonder. I think the whole band definately benefited from Rob's joint venture with Santana the year before. A comeback for all involved. Brian Yale: *nods in agreement* NHT: One, when reviewing the content of Mad Season, sees that this album appeals to a wider audience. Was this done on purpose, or did it just happen this way? PD: We wanted to make sure the peacocks enjoyed our rhyming. NHT: What? KC: *looks embarrassed* What he means is that it was somewhat of an accident. RT: Um, yeah, I had different things to say this time in my writing. It just so happens that everyone that listens to it, likes it! NHT: That's always a plus. So how is personal life going for everyone? RT: Mari [Marisol Thomas] and I are having the time of our lives. We still feel like newlyweds! KC: Having a wife and a child makes things different, but in such a great way. AG: Nothing like a good girfriend and lots of kiddies to make everything happy! BY: *gives Adam a strange look* PD: Adam, you don't have kids... AG: Uh, yes, that's right...no kids for me. *coughs* NHT: What do you feel you've gained from all the touring since the new album? RT: Lots of new experiences to put into writing. AG: Lots of baby heads thrown onto stage from fans. My collection is now 19,329 heads strong. PD: Access to the key codes. KC: Pay no attention to him...he's feeling a bit under the weather, and the medication isn't helping. BY: *whacks Paul on the back* NHT: Okay...anyway, what can we expect on the next album? PD: I'm sorry, I just can't go on like this any more! We should tell the world!!! RT: PAUL...really, not now, okay? NHT: No, no, tell the world what, Paul? This is your moment, feel free to share... AG: Stop the tape before he says anything! *tackles Paul to the ground, Rob tries to cop a feel of Paul's ass* BY: *grabs his belt and tries to tie Paul up with it, and pushes Rob out of the way by accident* NHT: What's going on?! Stop, let him go! KC: STOP IT! *everyone stops their attack* I feel we should tell...our secret. Paul's actually right for once. AG: Yeah, a first since the "Real World" video. I mean, drag? Come on, not that discreet there, were you? PD: *grunts* Get off me old man, I may be little, but I'm not one of your kiddies... NHT: HEY! What is going on? What needs to be told? HELLO, REPORTER IN THE ROOM... RT: *gets up and sits back in his chair* Okay, okay, I'll share. See, we're the Guardians of the Peacocks. NHT: WTF? BY: *whips out a Palm Pilot and shows NHT a short video* KC: You see, in 1999, shortly after "Smooth" was released, an ancient wizard came to visit Rob in a dream. RT: He told me of the Peacock Guild. This wizard told me that since I had the hit song of the millennium, that me and my band of brothers were chosen to guard the guild. Peacocks hold the meaning of life...it was to become our duty to protect them with our strength and virtue, and celebrate them in song. PD: *frees himself from Adam's deathgrip and gets on his knees in worship* It was my idea for the album cover, oh great Peacock Lord! NHT: I repeat, WTF? BY: *rolls eyes* RT: We don't tour because we're promoting something. We tour to fight valiant battles. Just recently, in London, we had to kick this dude's butt because he was seriously compromising the peacock way of life. He's now the fine leather pants I'm wearing. *strokes his leg* If, for any minute, the way of life is interrupted, the whole world may collapse. If you think a bad album is bad, talk about the end of the world... AG: You know the song "Last Beautiful Girl?" It's actually a cryptic way of sharing our love for the Guild. Really, if you sit down and look at it, it's all in black and white. KC: *sighs* Oh, the technicolor dreams. PD: Wrong song, idiot. NHT: So what you all are saying is, that you're 5 lucky fucks that get to take care of a species of colorful bird because they are the meaning of life? All because a wizard in Rob's dreams told him to? KC: You have a problem with that? BY: *gives NHT the evil eye* RT: I mean, it could have been that Taco Bell I had earlier that made me have the dream, but I seriously think it was real... NHT: You're not even SURE? RT: Well...no. PD: WHAT? YOU MEAN I TATTOOED A PEACOCK ON MY ASS FOR NOTHING?! RT: No, I enjoyed that lovely evening... KC: You told me that by not shaving for extended periods of time would help keep the peacocks at peace!!! You bastard! My wife actually threatened to leave me if I didn't shave! And my child has lost all respect for me. Bastard. RT: Now, now, I'm sure it's all real... AG: So I don't have to wear these colorful clothes anymore? *pouts* Well, Kyle, I guess I should return those pink glittery pants... KC: YOU STOLE MY PANTS?! What did I tell you??? Dammit, I'm never gonna fit my bony monkey ass into them now! BY: *starts crying* NHT: *laughs* He said bony monkey ass... RT: Okay, listen, I only told you all to do those things because that's what the wizard told me. I mean, come on guys, I had to sacrifice, too. PD: What??? I didn't tattoo no peacocks on your ass!!! RT: I know, we didn't have time for that. Like I was saying, I sacrificed. I actually had to go out in public...without...without... NHT: Without what? RT: *takes deep breath* Without...my Beep Beep enhancing leather pants. I actually had to show the world what a normal Rob Thomas package looks like. It wasn't pretty. Not a single female fan I met swooned. I felt so...Gaynorish, I mean, ugly. AG: Hey... PD: That wasn't a sacrifice, you vain imp!!! RT: But...my Beep Beep...it felt so naked without its proper support. BY: *continues to cry, and starts looking confused* KC: Oh please! You weren't Gaynorish, I mean, ugly...no one even noticed! AG: Hey! RT: See! No one noticed my Beep Beep for 30 whole minutes! NHT: *starts noticing and appreciating Rob's lovely Beep Beep* It's a shame to let that go to waste... RT: Well hey then, baby...wait, I'm married. AG: Am I the only one that enjoyed their sacrificing? Those pants were just so nice. If I had gotten to wear them longer, it might just have become my signature outfit, like Rob and leather, or Paul and dresses. KC: ARGH! My poor, poor pants... BY: *cries for the pants* PD: Nice pants? Shit, they were GAYNORISH, I mean, UGLY pants! AG: HEY!!! I do not appreciate my last name being used as a synonym for hideously ugly. It's quite Gaynorish of you, really. NHT: *stops drooling long enough to ask* So how will you all determine if your suffering was valid? KC: Good question. Well, Rob, give us proof. PD: SHOW ME THE PROOFY! KC: Oh God...remind me to never take him to the movies again. BY: *writes that down in his Palm Pilot* RT: Well, actually, I can't think of a single way to prove it to you all, so I guess it wasn't for real. There is no Peacock Guild. It was the burritos playing tricks on my mind. AG: *lunges for Rob's throat, and a fight ensues* I'm gonna git you sucka!!! NHT: Wait, wait, no, not the throat...oh the humanity!!! PD: *jumps into the action* This is for my ass! KC: *starts throwing punches* Ass, my ass! This is for my beard! RT: *pushes Paul off him and decks Adam* Watch the hair! NHT: *notices Brian sitting patiently at the side watching the whole thing* So Brian, why aren't you fighting? BY: *shrugs and shuffles around a bit* PD: You bastard, watch where you bite, that's my tattooed cheek! *kicks Kyle off him* NHT: So no comment at all? BY: They were nice pants. Adam's ass just can't fit into little glittery pink things like Kyle's can. What a shame, really. I wanted to borrow them, sometime, too. KC: I heard that, Yale! No one borrows my clothes without...OUCH! *is hit in the eye with a flying baby doll head* AG: MY ASS IS NOT BIG! *throws a baby doll head at Brian, and it misses him by a mile* RT: No, *punches Paul in the gut,* but it sure is GAYNORISH!!! AG: AHHHH!!!!! NHT: I kinda have to agree on that one, especially from this point of view... *takes a picture of Adam's posterior for the article, which is currently in front of her while he is giving a massive noogie to Rob* BY: Stop it! All of you! Can't we just get along? PD: *stops chewing Kyle's foot and looks up at Brian in bewilderment* What did you say? BY: Peace...can't we just all have peace for once? *sheds a single tear* KC: I...guess... *stops trying to break Adam's left leg* RT: *gets up off Paul* We'll finish this later, you and me, sugar...uh yeah, peace is good. I'm kinda tired, anyway. AG: *GRUNT* Oh my aching back. NHT: You know what, boys? This calls for a song...come on, join me! Entire group: *everyone gets together, links arms, sways back and forth, and sings* "If you want you can get to know me, well we get along so we shouldn't argue. And I don't know, said I don't know, all these feelings cloud up my reasoning, cloud up my reasoning..." This has been another exclusive first brought to you by the Nutty Hedge Times. |
| Episode 2: Inside The Matchbox |
| In this episode of As The Match Burns... A massive Matchbox orgy ensues! As always, every episode is written out of fun. If you're taking this seriously, you probably didn't understand "Mad Season," either, and therefore really shouldn't read this anyway. |
| NEXT TIME, on As The Match Burns... Okay, so the author made it this far. I give her some credit. Anyway, next time, Kyle learns Russian. Maybe. I dunno, sure, I should be saying what the author paid me to say, but hell, I get paid by the word, and she didn't write much, so there. |
| �2001 by Rebecca J. Burke & Hashbrown Casserole for the Matchbox Twenty Soul, Inc. |